Announcer: What are these cartoon characters running from? They're not...they are running too...the world greatest competition in town. Tonight; it's the fourth quarter-final of the Disney Television Animation Cup as the characters from Rescue Rangers take on the characters from The Wuzzles. It's the classic showdown between the one-animal sleuths againest the bi-animal fruits. It is now time for MXC...Most Extreme Elimination Challenge...and now we go to our two-toned deaf freak.. Kenny Blankenship and Vic Ramano!!
[Back in the studio.]
Vic: Today; we have another edition of wacky and weird events today!
Ken: Our two teams are known for being absurd in the worst way.
Vic: Now Kenny! Show some respect for the teams. I mean Chip & Dale is a very popular...
Ken: I wask talking about the Wuzzles. Actually; I think fusing is very cool!
Vic: Well; I'm glad that you think a positive...Wait a minute?! Are you doing what I think you are doing?!
Ken: Yeah; I'm planning to fuse a male and female being together...then it can love itself and I would have a drinking buddy...
Vic: Ah....Kenny?! Fusing two beings is a method of cloning...It is immoral ...It's wrong...It's illegal!!
Ken: Why?! We already have bi-sexuals and they are like a fusion. Not to mention that they are protected by law...
Vic: Okay...I can see your...Kenny?![Hits Kenny with his fan.] Man; I need to go straight and narrow after that...and speaking of fusing illegally; here's Greg LaDouce...[We go to the field with Greg LaDouce; who is like Guy with a beard.]
Greg: Greg LaDouce here; Guy is being treated for injuries sustained after protesters rebelled when he was found not guilty in his trial and therefore he is out of action...Thank you...I really need a respite after making movies with him. Today is the final quarter-final of the DTVA; in which our contestents will be competing in games such the dirty Mud Butlers; then it's the hair-raising action of Yank It! followed by the smacking Hand Job and finally we end the wackiness with the Dry Balls...I'm going to the bar to get my medication; so let's move over to the Captain...[They head to the forest with the Captain.]
Captain: Question....How many of you think that children need human role models and that animals are bent on undermining their empathy towards humans?! Show of hand....Now!!
All: YEAH!! [Everyone raises their hands.]
{Team Rescue Rangers- Chip, Dale, Monty, Zipper, Gadget (Captain), Fat Cat, Tammy, Meps, Flash, Foxglove, Queenie, Professor Nimuel.}
{Team Wuzzles- Bumblelion (Captain), Rhinokey, Flizzard, Eleroo, Butterbearm Moosel, Tycoon, Hopopotamus, Narrator, Piggypine, Woolrus, Skowl.}
Captain: Well; you are _as usual_ WRONG!! Human beings are weak, irrational and wicked. Just ask God.
Bumblelion: Wow; we're lucky...
Captain: Of course you are since you're only ink, pain and voice Lionbee. [The Captain laughs as he gets into position. No one laughs in kind.] Oh; that joke was awful..I could've been a DTVA writer at this rate.. LET'S GO! [The contestent stand up and run with the Captain to the first event.]
Vic: And we go to our first event: Mud Butlers... The contestent whacks the bladder with the mallet and runs down the stairs as the bladder is churning in the maze. Catch the bladder with the bowl of sanity before it falls into our mystery sludge...and what is today's mystery sludge Ken?!
Ken: That's special man pudding from the toilets of Ken Koonce and David Weimers.
Vic: Pretty dry stuff there Ken....
{Mud Butlers- The contestent starts by tapping a ball with a rubber mallet onto a goofy-looking like maze. The contestent takes a deep red bowl and runs down the stairs to a strip of concreate inbetween the maze and a pool of mud. The contestent wins if they get under the ball; jump and catch the ball in the bowl before it falls into the mud. The contestent loses if the ball falls into the mud.}
Captain: GET IT ON!!
Vic: First up for Team Rescue Rangers...
Foxglove: Whoooo.....! Hiss.....!
Vic: Here is the bat Foxglove. She is considered by many as the lover of the chipmunk Dale.
Ken: Yeah; she brings new meaning to the term vertigo...[Foxglove tapes the mallet and the ball goes into the maze. Foxglove takes the bowl and flies down the stairs.]....Total vertigo...
Vic: Right you are Ken...[Foxglove goes to the strip and waits for the ball...The ball goes to the right and Foxglove goes there. The ball drops into the bowl of Foxglove. However; the ball is too heavy and Foxglove drops the bowl. The ball falls out of the bowl and falls into the mud.] Oh!
Ken: The bat cannot hold to the torned and the bowl is scorned.
Vic: Right you are Ken...Sometimes you need size to win this event. First up for the Team of Wuz...
Rhinokey: I'm a two tone clutz!
Vic: This half-monkey, half rhino is known as Rhinokey.
Ken: [Rhinokey taps the mallet on the ball and it goes into the maze. Rhinokey takes the bowl and runs down the stairs.] He shouldn't be running down those stairs.[Rhinokay trips on the stairs and falls down into the mud. Rhinokey cannot get up as the ball falls into the mud.]...and he lives up to his billing.[They show the replay.] Number one rule of being a self-proclaimed clutz: Never run downwind.
Vic: Right you are Ken... You're liable to kill and shame yourself at the same time on this event. Next up for Rescue Rangers is Queenie; the talking Bumblebee. We had a chance to talk to her about stragedy in this event..[ We go the field with Queenie.]
Queenie: My key to victory will be not to sneeze because it's disgusting to smell someone else's human waste..Tee Hee...[Back to the action.]
Ken: Must be one of those critics againest Michael Eisner...[Queenie taps the mallet and the ball goes into the maze. Queenie takes the bowl and runs down the stairs.]
Vic: Indeed...[Queenie get onto the strip and awaits the ball. The ball goes to the middle and Queenie is out of position as the ball falls to the side. Queenie tries to grab the ball; but she misses and falls into the mud.] Oh! And she has been de-filed.
Queenie: ACHOO!
Vic: Oh! She's sneezed into the man-pudding...[Back to the studio.]
Ken: [Takes a sniff.] Oh man! I just took a whiff of David's poo and man; it is foul!
Vic: I know Ken, and sneezing is a disgraceful act since it destroys maggots and makes stools dry...Next up for the Wuzzles...[Back to the action.]
Woolrus: Shimmer my coaton!!
Vic: Here is the character Woolrus. She is a Wuzzle who happens to be half-walrus and half sheep...
Ken: [Woolrus taps the mallet and the ball goes into the maze.]...and apparently all molasses!![ Woolrus grabs the bowl and goes slowly down the stairs. The ball goes way too fast for her.]
Vic: Right you are Ken...[By the time Woolrus gets to the strip the ball falls right into the mud. Woolrus flops into the mud afterward.]...because decent speed is not obscene in this event..Next up for Rescue Rangers...
Meps: All right....TAP!!
Vic: Here is Fat Cat's whining henchmen Meps.[Meps taps the mallet and the ball goes into the maze. Meps grabs the bowl and gets down the stairs.]
Ken: And if he whines for the next five minutes; his next psychological exam is free.
Vic: Right you are Ken...[Meps gets onto the concreate strip as the ball wonders to the center. Meps tries to get under the proper position; but is off base as the ball drops. Meps misses the ball and dives into the muck breaking his neck acutely as the ball falls into the muck.]Oh!!..That was sick!!
Ken: That calls for a MXC Impact Replay...[ They show the replay.] Meps decides that he can stop his whining only one way...Care to take a guess Vicky?!
Vic: Seperate his spine from his whine?
Ken: Hey...How did ya guess?!
Vic: The art of predictible outcomes Ken...[Back to the action.] Next up for the land of Wuz...
Tycoon: Now I LOVE MONEY!!
Vic: Here is the finanical guru in the land of Wuz known as Tycoo. He is half tiger and half-raccoon.[Tycoon taps the mallet and the ball goes into the maze. Tycoon grabs the bowl and goes down the stairs.]
Ken: And he's all corruption!
Vic: Right you are Ken...[Tycoon makes it to the strip as the ball advances to the left. Tycoon attempts to time his jump as the ball drops. However; he mistimes it as the ball skips the bowl and falls into the muck. Tycoon falls into the sludge in kind.]...and Tycoon's run has gone belly up....What a shame?! Last up for Chip & Dale....
Dale: Dale....Chip & Dale!!
Vic: This chipmunk of mischief is Dale; the sidekick of Chip...[ Dale taps the mallet and the ball goes into the maze. Dale grabs the bowl and goes down the stairs.]
Ken: He's also Nano Blankenship's favorite toy for my pet cat Mr. Spinxister.
Vic: Wow! That's more information than I would want to know Ken....[ Dale makes it to the strip and gets into position as the ball bounces towards the right.] Dale's getting into position...[ The ball drops as Dale leaps and the ball falls into the bowl perfectly. It stays there as Dale falls into the muck for the point.] Good extentison and he has done it![ They show the replay.]
Ken: Dale shows that years of dancing in suggestive positions have paid off for this event...
Vic: Right you are Ken... Very suggestive indeed...[Back to the action] Last up for the Wuzzles is Eleroo; the half-elephant/kangeroo combo. We had a chance to speak to him about this competition..[ We go to the field with Eleroo.]
Eleroo: I thought this event would be a place to make peace. It wasn't. Hold me Captain![Back to the action.]
Vic: Well; that was disturbing...[Eleroo taps the mallet and the ball goes down the maze. Eleroo grabs the bowl and goes down the stairs.]
Ken: Which is normal for MXC officials..
Vic: Thanks for pointing that out Ken...[Eleroo makes it to the strip and gets into position as the ball veers to the left.]... He gets into position ....[The ball drops as Eleroo tries to jump. However; since he's half elephant he doesn't get enough life and fall into the muck just short of the ball.]... and no good!
Ken: Hey; I thought Eleroo was a kangeroo and would easily catch that ball?
Vic: Well Kenny; he's half elephant so that cancels the advantage out.
Ken: Oh shoot! I put $50 on him.
Vic: Being impartial has it's morals Ken...So after one round of competition; the Rescue Rangers solve this event and lead 1-0.
Announcer: Coming up next... We'll be yanking more pain...Don't be ashamed Dipsticks!!
[Commerical Break.]
Announcer: We now return with the two-tone freaks vs. the detective geeks.
[Back to the studio as we see a weird machine in the background with Ken near it.]
Ken: Hey Vic?! Here's the new machine I was talking about. It's called the Fusion Machine of Two-Tone. I bought it for $25 off of eBay. This is what Michael Eisner used to create The Wuzzles.
Vic: Wow; that is really something...and I thought for a minute that it was Ken Koonce and David Weimers who created that show.
Ken: Nah...Michael Eisner created every show in DTVA.
Vic: Really?! What about TaleSpin?
Ken: That was Magon's work....
Vic: What about Gargoyles?
Ken: Greg Weissman.
Vic: Rescue Rangers?! Darkwing Duck?
Ken: Tad Stones...Vic?![Vic is frowning at Kenny.]
Vic: Michael Eisner's been double-speaking to you; hasn't he?
Ken: Ah...yeah...
Vic: Thought so...Our next event is what we call Yank It! Pick a rope and tug your way to victory or pick wrong and you might sue us for unfairness.
Ken: It's the game that keeps on suing!
Vic: Indeed...
{Yank It!- There are five ropes laying in five rows on the ground. Inbetween the rope is a wooden fence covered with leather to hide who's tugging whom. The contestent chooses a rope and pulls it just like in a tug-of-war contest. The opposition can be a human, a bunch of humans, animals, machines or just about anything. The contestent wins if they managed to pull the opposition over the line which is six feet from the fence. The contestent loses if they are pulled over the six foot line.}
Captain: LET'S GET IT ON!!
Vic: First up for the land of Wuz...
Moosel: Seal the moose!!
Vic: Here is the half-moose, half-seal blue guy known as Moosel. He is considered to be the shyguy in the land of Wuz...
Ken: He looks brave to me..He actually decided to pull the finger rope..[ Moosel picks the final rope on the right.]
Vic: I wouldn't have noticed Ken...[Moosel grabs the rope and pulls it with all his might. However; he get splatted into the wall easily. We now see that a tractor is tugging the rope.] Oh...and Moosel had no chance on that tractor.
Ken: He didn't even try...
Vic: It's a tractor Ken..First up for Rescue Rangers is Professor Nimuel.. We had a chance to speak to him about possible ways to win. [ We go to the field with the professor.]
Professor Nimuel: I'm going to pick the middle rope... It's always important to balance your life.
Captain: When are you going to balance and get a life?
Nimuel: When I prove that the Rescue Rangers are real Captain Smarttalk!
Captain: I'll drink to that....No I won't![Back to the action.]
Ken: Man; he cannot separate reality from fantasy.[Nimuel picks the middle rope as promised.]
Vic: Indeed.... At least he's keeping his word...[Nimuel grabs the rope and begins to pull on it. Nimuel makes the mistake of wrapping the rope around because the professor gets pulled across the line and then goes right through the leather barrier. We see on the other side that a cow is pulling away in a stampede.] Oh my...those dirty fiends have committed an forgivible sin.
Ken: In PETA's mind this is a sin. In my mind; this is the MXC Impact Replay. [They show the replay.] I have only one word for this...LOSER!!
Vic: Or prehaps a lawsuit...Oh never mind...[Back to the action] Next up for the Wuz crew...
Piggypine: I'm a phat spine!!
Vic: Here is the half-pig, half-procupine member of the land of Wuz known as Piggypine.
Ken: She doesn't stand a chance; she's way too fat..[Piggypine grabs the second rope on the left and begins to pull. Surprisely; Piggypine holds her ground as on the other side; there is a young female wearing a pink coat and jumpsuit.] Whoa; who's that chick?!
Vic: Oh my God...it's the ex-con of Disney Princesses: Sleeping Beauty-Killer! She's known for dismembering Prince Charming with relentless jabs. This is going to be brutal.
Ken: This is going to be great.. Girl on Toon Action!! [Piggypine manages to overpower the woman and pulls hard enough to cause the woman to fall flat on her face across the line for the point.]
Vic: Oh my...Sleeping Beauty-Killer has gone into a death kiss..and Piggypine has done it! Unbelievible!! Team Wuzzles gets onto the board and this game is tied 1-1. Can Rescue Rangers take the lead?!
Fat Cat: I cannot lose....I have rabids in my soul!
Vic: Here is the major crime boss of the Rescue Rangers world; Fat Cat.
Ken: With that fat chest; he might have a chance.[Fat Cat chooses the second rope to the right.]
Vic: Don't you mean hope chest Ken....[Fat Cat pulls on the rope and holds his ground. On the other side; there is a fake elephant (two girls in an elephant suit.) pulling the rope.] Oh! Fat Cat is actually pulling againest an elephant! [ Fat Cat pulls the elephant and it collapses over the line for the point.] Oh my God! That's another animal that bites the dust..[Ken is giggling.] Kenny?! Was this your idea?!
Ken: What do you mean?! It's only two chick in an elephant suit.
Vic: Oh...I'm sorry. I thought it was real...I guess Fat Cat has done it. Team Rescue Ranger has taken the lead 2-1. Can the land of Wuz catch up?!
Butterbear: I'm the bread and butter of this team!!
Vic: Here is the tough, yellow half-bear, half-butterfly in the land of Wuz; Butterbear...
Ken: Wait a minute! You're telling me that this bear is made of butter?![ Butterbear takes the final rope on the right.]
Vic: Ken...She's half butterfly...[Butterbear grabs the rope and tries to pull. However; she is overpowered and pulled across.] Oh! [ We go to the other side and see that Simon Bowel and Andy "UPYOURS" Jackson are pulling the rope.]...and we have just witnessed a classic example of good judges gone wild!
Ken: [They show the replay.] I can understand Andy turning; but Simon?! This is just asking for a lawsuit.
Vic: I don't think they have lawyers in Wuz Ken...[Back to the action] Next up for Rescue Rangers....
Tammy: I'm a dancerquirl!!
Vic: Here is Chip's future lover Tammy....She was involved in an idol heist created by Fat Cat...
Ken: [Tammy picks the first rope on the left.] So Tammy's half-dancer; half squirrel... The fusion machine is a busto with gusto!
Vic: Right you are Ken...[ Tammy grabs the rope and starts to pull it. However; she is easily pulled across the line and into the wall. We see that it's the cow pulling again in a stampede.] Oh..Not the cow again!!
Ken: Man; talk about Mad Cow Diease...with a hint of Hoof & Mouth.
Vic: Right you are Ken...and add on a lawsuit from PETA to boot...Last up for the Wuzzles.
Stan: Welcome to the land of Wuz.
Ken: Hey that doesn't look like a cartoon character..[Stan picks the second rope from the right.]
Vic: That's because this is the famous Stan Freberg; the narrator for the Wuzzles..
Ken: Hey Stan! You're my biggest cartoon voice fan! Go out there and kick some butt...[Stan pulls the rope and we see on the other side that it's Skanky pulling the rope.] Hey! It's Skanky pulling the finger!
Vic: Indeed...[Stan manages to pull Skanky over the line for the point.]...and Stan has done it... That was a feat of strength indeed... and last up for the Rescue Rangers.
Flash: Bow...WOW!!
Vic: Here is Flash The Wonder Dog; the superhero of the Rescue Rangers!
Ken: [Flash picks the middle rope.] Don't you mean the Super Dog?
Vic: Of course it is Ken....[Flash grabs the rope and begins to pull it. He holds his ground as on the other side there is a dog that looks like Flash; but black in appearance pulling the rope in kind.]..Now who's that?
Ken: That's Slash the EVIL WonderDog...[Flash and Slash pull way too hard and the rope snaps; causing both dogs to fly across the line at the same time.] Wow...What happened there? [They go to the replay.]
Vic: Wait! Flash & Slash have crossed the line at exactly the same time! Do you know what this means?!
Ken: Gravity's taken a vacation forever?
Vic: No; it means Flash has scored for both teams! So after two rounds of action; the Wuzzles have fused back into the game and the score is tied 3-3.
Announcer: Coming up next...Toucing becomes a life need. Remember; if you use kid gloves; it'll only make it worse!
[Commerical Break]
Announcer: We are back with the Cuzzles Wuzzles againest the Sly Munks!! [Back to the studio.]
Vic: So; we are back with the score tied at three. So Kenny?! Did you create and disrespect life with this fusion machine?!
Ken: Actually; I've fused Danny Glands...[Enter Danny Glands.]
Danny: Hello...
Vic: Wait a minute! He looks like a normal human being to me..
Ken: [giggling[ I knew I could fool you Vic. I fused Danny's body with Greg LaDouce's brain. He's now the smart fool. Go ahead; ask him a question.
Vic: I'm not interested because everytime I ask a question to Greg LaDouce; he always laugh at me![Hits Kenny with his fan.]
Ken: Okay; then I'll ask the question..What's the next event?!
Danny: Our next event is called Hand Job.. The object is for you team to handslap the right number answer for your team to score a point...and the questions will all be done by Danny Glands.
Vic: Oh boy; this will be hard on our future here..
{Hand Job- Eight contestents each waear a rubber hand suit (4 white, 4 blue) in an area filled with 40 leather squares containing a number. The judges asks a total of five questions. When the gun starts the contestent must quickly find the correct number and use their rubber hand to slap it down. The first member to find the correct number scores a point for the team.}
Captain: GET IT ON!!
{Team Wuzzles (White): Butterbear, Eleroo, Bumblelion and Moosel.}
{Team Rescue Rangers (Blue): Chip, Dale, Monteray and Gadget.}
Vic: For the Wuzzles; it's Bumblelion, Eleroo, Butterbear and Moosel. You saw Bumblelion earlier who was insulted by our beloved Captain. He is the self-proclaimed leader of the Wuzzles. For the Rescue Rangers it is Dale, the leader of the team Chip, the inventor Gadget and the pilot Montery Jack. So let's go up yo our trivia question buff; the unfused Danny Glands....
Danny: Question #1: How many mysteries need to be solved in order to have a good animated series?
Vic: The answer of course is 13...[Everyone runs around; buy Monteray finds the number in the middle and flops on it for the point.]...And Monteray Jack uses his fat weight to grab that one...Rescue Rangers now take the lead and we go back up to Danny.
Danny: Question #2: How many hours does it take for Tycoon to realize that he's been ripped off?!
Ken: I know the answer to this one...it's six hours. I just ripped him of for $50.
Vic: [ Everyone starts running around.] Wow; did you sell him the fusion machine?![Butterbear finds the number six and slaps it for the point.] And Butterbear has slapped a tie on the Rescue Rangers...
Ken: Ah...No I didn't! I sold him your crystal collection...
Vic: Kenny?! How could you do this to me?! That was a priceless collection!! I hate you Kenny! Let's get onto question three Danny!!
Danny: Question #3: How many criminals must you catch before you are considered a Rescue Ranger?
Ken: The answer is forty...Care to comment Vic? Vic?[ The contestents run around and Gadget finds the number forty on the top right and slaps it for the point. However; Bumblelion squashes Gadget in kind.] Oh No! My poor sweet Gadget!! She was my future date!!
Vic: Now that calls for a MXC Impact Replay. [They show the replay.] Sometimes such disturbing images are required to humble such infidels. Don't you agree Ken? Kenny?!
Ken: I'm okay..Let's go to the next question...
Danny: Question #4... How many Wuzzles does it take to screw in a lightblub?!
Vic: The answer to that is two since they are fused creatures...[Everyone stars running around. Most of the constentens pile onto the number one card. However; Bumblelion manages to slap the number two on the bottom left for the point.] And Bumblelion has tied this game once again...This last question will decide this event.
Danny: Final Question: What is the average number of animation mistake found in an average Disney Television Animation episode?
Vic: Merlin Jones should know this answer; it is 17...[ Everyone runs around trying to find the answer. However; everyone slaps the wrong answer.] Oh!...We don't have a winner here as everyone got it wrong as expected. Which means that after three rounds both teams have kept mediocrity in check and the score is tied 5-5.[Back to the studio.]
Ken: Wow; how come they gave the wrong answer there Vic?
Vic: Simple Ken; DTVA characters are full of themselves!
Ken: Did Merlin Jones double-speak on that?!
Vic: Yeah; but he's an animation buff and Michael Eisner a programmer bullstuff!
Ken: Man; you two watch too much Gundam SEED...
Announcer: Coming up next; shine those balls because they are going to get bloody...Don't force it Suckpuss!! [Commerical Break]
Announcer: And we are back with the cute bi-animals vs the semi-cute mono-animals!!
[Back to the studio.]
Vic: We're back with the score tied at five...
Ken: So Merlin Jones said that I'm full of myself.
Vic: Well; that doesn't take a lot of effort to figure you out Kenny.. Still; I wouldn't want you any other way...
Ken: Really?! I'm _that_ important?!
Vic: Of course...By being full of yourself; it makes me smarter and easier to hit you with my fan.[Vic hits Kenny with his fan.]
Ken: Thanks Vic...I think...
Vic: Our last event is Dry Balls... Catch the globe before it touches the ground and try to break the tie...
Danny: The balls are ready to go...
Ken: Good job as usual..
Vic: Indeed...
{ Dry Balls - A person shoots a ball out of a cannon into the air. The contestent runs under and attempts to catch the ball. The contestent wins if they catch the ball before it touches the ground. The contestent loses if the ball touches the ground.}
Captain: GET IT ON!!
Vic: First up for the land of Wuz...
Hopotomamus: Fusin styling and profiling!!
Vic: This is the half-rabbit, half-hippo known as Hopotomamus.
Ken: She is the fat one who eats too much.
Vic: Right you are Ken. [Hopotomamus attempt to run as the ball is shot out of the cannon into the air. Hopotomamus tries to make it; but she is way short as the ball drops onto the ground.] Oh!...and her hopping powers didn't help there. What a shame?![They show the replay.]
Ken: Yeah; talk about being as slow as molasses...
Vic: Indeed...This is the problem with fusing. Like I always say: Play with God and get burned!!
Ken: You never say that...[Back to the action.]
Vic: Only in private Ken...First up for Rescue Ragners is Chip who we saw earlier in Hand Job...
Chip: Bottom's Dale!! [Laughing.]
Ken: I really hate that laugh....[ Chip runs around as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. Chip manages to get under the ball. However; the ball comes down way too fast and nails Chip right in the face. The ball falls on the ground after it bounces..] Wow! That smarts! Talk about whiplash! Which calls for the MXC Impact Replay...[They show the replay.] Chip had a chip on his shoulder; but now he has a chip on his kisser!
Vic: Indeed Ken...Very informative...[Back to the action.] Next up from the land of Wuz..
Flizzard: Buzzz...ard Beak!!
Vic: Here is the half-fly, half-lizard freak of nature known as Flizzard.
Ken: A fly and a lizard..Isn't that just asking for him to eat himself?
Vic: I think fusion also mutates Ken...[Flizzard floats around as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. Flizzard misses the projection slightly and the ball falls right beside him; clipping one of his wings.] Oh my...!!
Ken: That'll make him wish he ate himself!!
Vic: Not unlike Guy doing it to Greg...Lovely...Next up for Rescue Rangers!!
Montery: Cheese!!
Vic: Here is Monteray Jack; the pilot of the Rescue Rangers...and Kenny why is he in cheesy mode?!
Ken: He's doing a taunt Vic. It's recomended thing on MXC.
Vic: Right you are Ken..Not that morality is your strength...[Monty runs on the ground as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. However; Monty doesn't get enough speed and the ball falls on the ground.] Oh! That was a waste.
Ken: He didn't even try..[ They show the replay.]
Vic: Well Ken; that's what happens when you do nothing but eat cheese and pilot planes all day...
Ken: Kind of like Gregory when he writes and eats donairs all day...
Vic: I don't get the connection there Ken...[Back to the action.]
Skowl: Wise up or I'll smell what you're cooking!
Vic: Here is Skowl; the wise half-own and half-shunk in the land of Wuz.
Ken: So he's wise in smelling himself?! That's perverted...!
Vic: Actually he's the Wuzzles advisor and camp cook Ken..[ Skowl runs around as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. Skowl is short and tries to leap towards the ball. However; Skowl mis-times his jump and the ball lands on his back; causing Skowl to flop on the ground.] Oh! And his wisdom didn't help his there...What a shame?! [Back in the studio.]
Ken: Oh! I just got a whiff of Skowl's tail and man; it is foul!
Vic: Indeed...I'm getting a strange sense of deja ewwwwwww around here. [Back to the action] Next up for Rescue Rangers.
Zipper: [Salutes] High- HA!!
Vic: Here is the small blue fly known as Zipper. He gives the Rescue Rangers help when they least expect it...[ Zipper flies around as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. Zipper is in perfect position. However; as he leaps to make the catch a large fish comes out of nowhere and eats Zipper whole. The ball falls onto the ground.] Oh my...!! How did that fish get there?
Ken: I don't know...[Back in the studio.]
Vic: Wait a minute!! Did you use David Weimers poo in the water?!
Ken: I thought the environmentalists told me that human waster was all right..
Vic: [Hits Kenny with his fan.] Kenny?! How many times do I have to tell you. Don't accept strange advise from strange liberials...Except for David Suzuki of course..[Back to the action.] Last up for the Wuzzles.
Bumblelion: Pompus jerk!!
Vic: Here is the Captain of the Wuz: The half-lion, half-bee known as Bumblelion.
Ken: So he can eat and sting at the same time right?!
Vic: Indeed...[Bumblelion runs around as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. Bumblelion gets under it; however, he misses it slightly and the ball drops onto his arm. The ball falls onto the ground as Bumblelion is in pain.] Oh!
Ken: Now's he's not only a pompous jerk; but a pompus loser!! He just got chewed and stunned!
Vic: Right you are Ken...That is just bad Dry Balling. So the score is still tied at five and it is all up to Gadget.
Gadget: Golly; my noseguard is killing my breathing!
Vic: She is the official meachanic and inventor of the Rescue Rangers.
Ken: If she gets painfully eliminated; we go to overtime..
Vic: And that means a bad Hand Job...[ Gadget rushes around as the ball is shot into the air out of a cannon. Gadget gets under the ball and catches it. She falls onto her deat; but she hangs on for the point.]...and Gadget has done it in style.[They show the replay.]
Ken: My future date has shown the perfect techinque for Dry Balling and her Rescue Rangers have been rescued.
Vic: Indeed...and so thanks to Ken's date that he doesn't deserve. The Rescue Rangers get their salvation and win this competition 6-5.[Back in the studio.]
Ken: That was a great competition Vic.
Vic: Indeed...but what are we going to do with that fusion machine?!
Ken: I'm going to give it to Guy LaDouce for a present after he was found not gulity.
Vic: Oh really?! Why is that?!
Ken: It's perfect for fusing the best thing going on television with his ego.
Vic: Good idea...Maybe he'll show restraint after we're done here. It's now time for Kenny Blankenship's Painful Eliminations of the Day!![They show footage from the event.]
Ken: At number ten; it's Rhinokey who states that he's a clutz and he slips into the realm of muck...Why running is sinful and wrong...At number nine; it's Queenie who thinks royality is immune to illness and this preformance was turely sick... ACHOO!! At number eight; it's Piggypine's rival Sleeping Beauty Killer who tries to turn Piggy in bacon and face the irony of the death kiss....At number seven it gravity's turn as it causes Flash and Slash to crash and burn...as only gravity can...At number six; it's poor old Zipper who thinks he has the ball; but an old friend comes into his life and becomes a night-time snack for a fish...Cute!! At number five; it's the fake elephant costume which just collapse under the weight of a criminal Fat Cat... Don't mess with a talking rabid cat!! At number four; it's professor Nimuel who thinks this is a smart event; when he would face a touch of mad cow diease...OUCH!! At number three it's Meps who whine to his own demise as he decides that he doesn't need his own spine anymore...Color him InMeps....At number two; it's Chip who tries to capture the bullies touch. However; he suffers a chipped tooth, a chipped shoulder and probably a chipped brain after that one...And finally; most most painful elimination goes to my new date Gadget who gets smoked by the hand of fate...but she smokes Dry Balls and land right on her duff. That's called fixing your spot in the Semi-Final...I'm Out!!
[Back in the studio.]
Vic: So take us out Ken. We have a party with Guy LaDouce in ten minutes.
Ken: Right..I get last call! So what do we always say?!
All: [Pumps their fists in unison.] DON'T GET ELIMINATED!! [ The screen freezes as the credits begin to roll.]
Tammy:: I'm a dancerquirl!!