Announcer: What are these cartoon characters running from? They're not...they are running too...the world greatest competition in town. Tonight; it's the second semi-final of the Disney Television Animation Cup as the characters of Ducktales take on the characters from Rescue Rangers. It's the classic battle of the duck flyers againest the chimpmunk detectives. It's now time for MXC- Most Extreme Elimination Challenge...and now we go to our two usual suspects: Kenny Blankenship and Vic Ramano..
[We go to the studio.]
Vic: Now stand to attention Kenny....We have a great show today: Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers againest Ducktales.
Ken:....and the winner takes on TaleSpin...Hey wait; I just thought of something Vic?
Vic: What do you mean Kenny?
Ken: Most of the Rescue Rangers are tiny...They don't stand a chance....
Vic: No problem Ken....Today is a special day for MXC as we become the first tv show to use the Portiable Enlargement Machine created by our resident sciencist Newton Gimmack.... [Vic show Netwon who is a young man wearing overalls making a fool of himself as Kenny laughs his head off.] What in limbo's dance are you?!
Ken: Portiable Enlargement Machine....like Netwon's a good sciencist...HEE.HEE.HEE...
Vic: Kenny! [Hits Ken with his fan.] We try to do something new around here and you always ruin everything.
Ken: Yeah; I know.
Vic: You know?! That's it?! Kenny! Sciencists are noble.
Ken: Yeah...
Vic: Sciencists are role models.
Ken: So? Gadget's got the sex appeal....Newton's senile!
Vic: Well; Gadget is pretty cute and...Kenny?! [Hits Ken with his fan as he laughs out loud.] You are such a gulliable little monkey; I wonder why I've never had you put down....and speaking of people who need to be put down here's Guy LaDouce.
[We go to the field with Guy.]
Guy: We have an exciting battle today as our two teams fight it out in such games as Dope On A Rope; then we follow with the slick ride called Turtle Hurtlers; then it's the bashing good fun of Wall Bangers and then we finish it off with the wacky Dominoes of Doom. The winner of this battle will move on the Disney Television Animation Cup Final againest Team TaleSpin. So while I take my leave; we go to the skipper....Captain?!
[We go to the forest with Captain Tameal.]
Captain: Thanks Guy....How many of you agree that Gadget is the sexiest Disney female on television? Show of hands right now!
All: YEAH!! [Everyone raises their hands instead of Gadget.]
{Team Rescue Rangers- Chip, Dale, Zipper, Monteray Jack, Gadget Hackenwrench, Fat Cat, Meps, Flash The Wonderdog, Tammy, Foxglove, Professor Nimuel, Queenie.
Team Ducktales- Scrooge, Launchpad, Gyro, Flintheart, Hewey, Dewey, Louie, Webby, Mrs. Beakly, Duckworth, Fenton, Bubba, Doofus, Magica, Grimace, Mama Beagle, Donald.}
Captain: [Pumps his fist.] YESSSS!! I knew that we could agree with something for once..[Everyone whistles at Gadget as she is clearly offended.]
Gadget: You are all a bunch of perverts.
All: OOOOOOO.....
Captain: You are so sexy when you are mad...you should marry Guy. [Everyone laughs as the Captain gets in position.]
Gadget: Here's what I think of Guy! [Spits in the air.]
Captain: That marriage would be fun just to see who wears the pants in that family.....LET'S GO!! [Everyone stands up and run towards the first event with the Captain leading them.]
Vic: And we're off to our first event: Dope On A Rope! The object is to swing from Point A to Point B without falling into Point C.
Ken: That's captial C for septic sludge!
Vic: Indeed.
{Dope On A Rope: There are two platforms surrounded by a muddy pond. The contestent swings in a circular fashion and tries to land on the platform on the left side of the other platform. You win if you land on the platform and stick it for three seconds. You lose if you fall into the mud.}
Captain: GET IT ON!
Vic: Our first contestent for team Rescue Rangers....
Monty: Ch....eese!!
Vic: Here is Monteray Jack; he is the mouse who has a deadly obession to cheese.
Ken: Uh Oh! Chessios!
Vic: Right you are Ken! [Monty swings around and tries to land onto the platform. However; he misses and falls right into the muk with a bellyflop.] Oh and he bellyflops into the....Wait a minute! He's eating the toxic sludge.
Ken: That's man pudding from the Disney Insitutue of Cheese....with a hint of chedder.
Vic: Kenny?! He's eating deadly cheese-flavoured sludge...that is disgusting! [They show the replay]
Ken: Hey; it was the MXC grounds crew who came up with the idea to add the cheese smell...
Vic: You are a mean man Kenny! I'm surprised Michael Powell hasn't revoked our lives yet...and first up for Team Ducktales. [Back to the action.]
Magica: I love lucky dimes!
Vic: Here is Magica Despell; she is the master of black magic and wants Scrooge's Lucky Dime.
Ken: She's cast a spell on Scrooge so he becomes a loser.
Vic: Sounds counter-productive to me Ken...[Magica swings towards the platform; but she misses the platfrom; slips and falls into the muck.] Well; that run was a double loser....
Chip: Rescue Ranger away!!
Vic: Here's the fedora hat wearing Chip. He is the leader of the Rescue Rangers.
Ken: He's won the Namo Blankenship award for being uptight.
Vic: Wow; that's a first for the Rescue Rangers..[Chip swing across the rope; but his hands slip and he falls flat on his face in the muck.] Well; he just wasn't tight enough on that one....Next up for Ducktales.
Grimace: Axis of Duck!!
Vic: This is Adrimnal Grimace...he runs the ship for the navy where Donald Duck currently works.
Ken: He's was the runner up in the Namo Blankenship award race...
Vic: Right you are Ken...[Grimace swing across the pond and makes it to the platform; but he lets go too soon and does a forward flip and falls into the sludge.] Wow....what a shame...Let's look at that on replay. [They show the replay.]
Ken: That'll require a court marshall.
Vic: Right you are Ken! [Back to the action.] Next up for Team Rescue Rangers....
Flash: I'm a hero...don't hate me! Okay; I'm not a hero; you can hate me....
Vic: Here is Flash the Wonderdog...he is a popular television superhero on Rescue Rangers...
Ken: Hey Vic....we are a bunch of superheroes....The superheroes of sludge.
Vic: Ummmm Kenny?! Can you please move to your side of the booth...let's keep a profession distance....[ Flash swings around on the rope and he lands right on the green platform perfectly as he does the splits.] And Flash is a hero; because he has done it...Let's go to the replay...
Ken: [They go to the replay.] Flash swings around, does a Double Banana Split and land right on his nads.
Vic: Kenny?!
Ken: Oh I'm sorry! That's the wrong verb, I meant nards...
Vic: All right....[Back to the action.] Next up for Team Ducktales.
Donald: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Vic: Here's Private Donald Duck. He now works for the Duckberg Navy....
Ken: Yeah; that temper will knock out an eye if not careful...
Vic: Uh Kenny....Please move to your side of the booth right now...Professional distance and all.... [Donald attempts to swing across; but his hands slip and he falls into the sludge.] Well; that temper didn't help him there.
Ken: [Donald's temper flares up again as he flops into the sludge and pounds the mud.] Well; there's Chip & Dale in his pants again.
Vic: Right you are Ken! That's just poor sportmanship....Next up for Team Rescue Rangers...
Zipper: Ah! [Salutes]
Vic: Here is Zipper; the tiny fly of the Rescue Rangers.
Ken: Who managed to get out of a flying fish...
Vic: Kenny?! What did I say about professional distance?! [Zipper swings across the pond and makes it to the platform; but he clips himself on that platform and falls right into the sludge.] He got clipped on that one; what a shame. [Back into the studio as Kenny is laughing hard.]
Ken: Hee..Hee...Hee....Zipper looks so fat with that machine.
Vic: Everything is a joke to you isn't it Kenny?! [Vic hits Kenny with his fan.] You cannot imagine how important science is!!
Ken: I know how important it is...if it gets me chicks, pizza and lots of beer!
Vic: Why do I even bother...Back to the action...[Back to the action.]
Launchpad: Time to crash!
Vic: Here's Launchpad McQuack...the new meaning to the phrase Crash Test....Um Kenny?! Scoot over to your side of the booth please?! [Launchpad swings across the pond; but he swings way too hard and fast as he misses the platfrom and crashes hard into the side of the big platform. The impact forces him to land right on his neck and it is broken.] UGH!!
Ken: And that's our MXC Impact Replay. [They show the replay.] Launchpad McQuack cements his position as the Crash Test Dummy as he smacks and breaks up like one.
Vic: Sadly; that is true Ken and Ducktales is in trouble as Flash The Wonderdog's heroic splits give Team Rescue Rangers a quick 1-0 lead.
Announcer: Coming up next! It is time to hurl the turtle. Hey; I wrote that sentence Squatdork!!
[Commerical Break.]
Announcer: And we're back with the Ducktales and the Chiptales!
[Back in the studio.]
Vic: We are back on with Rescue Rangers in the lead 1-0. Sadly Kenny; Launchpad has been put out of the action for the rest of the competition....[Kenny's laughing out loud and Vic hits him with his fan to correct him.] Kenny?!
Ken: Some sciencist! Newton can't even create a machine that will put together people.
Vic: Kenny!! [Vic hits him with his fan.] Sciencists are people who discover ways to help other people. They find cures for cancer and AIDS.
Ken: What about a cure for getting chicks...? I still cannot get a date with Gadget.
Vic: Let's just go to the Captain!! Grrr.... [We now go to the field with the Captain.]
Captain: Our next event is what we call Turtle Hurtlers. This game is based on the popular bedtime story: The Princess & The Cleaver. The hero of the story tries to cross the lake to the island of Prince Vriginia on slick sea turtles to rescue the conjoined vrigin twins who were viciously separated by the unlicensed pirate surgeons: Rusty, Krusty and Kyle.
{Turtle Hurtlers- There is an island in the middle of the ocean and a platform on the right side. The two are surrounded by 20 floatation devices made of tough plastic and are designed to look like sea turtles; placed in a straight line. The contestent must get to the two twins on the island anyway you can while avoiding the pirate surgeons who want to push the contestent off. You win if you make it to the island. You lose if you fall into the water.}
Captain: LET'S GET IT ON!
Vic: First up for team Ducktales....
Hewey: Quackeroonie!!
Vic: Here is Hewey Duck...He is the leader of the nephews. He had a nack for getting into trouble.
Ken: They're Junior Woodchunks so this should be easy for them.
Vic: Indeed....[Hewey carefully hops onto the turtles as Kyle is chasing them.] Uh Kenny please scoot over to your side of the booth...[Kyle trips and falls into the lake.]
Ken: Kyle can't scoot onto those slick turtles...
Vic: That's wax which won't affect Hewey since he's got web feet. [Hewey trips and falls into the water with a forward roll.] Well; that wax was pretty slippery.
Ken: That's the ultra-slick wax known as Memories of Banana Peels.
Vic: Slick stuff there Ken....Next up for Team Rescue Rangers.
Tammy: Chip is my idol!
Vic: Here is Tammy; the cute little female squirrel. She met Chip when Fat Cat tried to steal an idol.
Ken: I've heard rumors that Rusty has a crush on her too....
Vic: Ummm Kenny; please scoot over to your side of the booth...Be professional Ken... [Tammy carefully steps onto the turtles.] Seems that Tammy's taking her time.
Ken: Can't slow down in this game. [Rusty walks up and grabs Tammy from behind and proceeds to tickle her. She laughs very hard.] See what I mean?
Vic: Right you are Ken. Good call! [Rusty continues to tickle Tammy. However; Tammy's struggling causes Rusty to slip and they both fall into the water.] Oh!
Ken: That calls for a MXC Impact Replay. [They show the replay.] Oooo....this is a dirty girl...she needs to be spanked. I think she loves Rusty.
Vic: Kenny?! You always make love seem so perverted.
Ken: Thank you! [Back to the action.]
Doofus: I'm going to win this event for my team!
Vic: Here's Doofus Drake; a friend of the nephews and a Junior Woodchuck. [ Doofus gets onto the turtles.]
Ken: Well it seems that he's confident in winning....[Doofus gets onto the third turtle; but he slips and falls into the water.]... What a doofus!
Vic: Right you are Ken....Good call....Let's go to Guy with Tammy....[We go to the field with Guy LaDouce and Tammy.]
Guy: Guy here with Tammy....What do you think of the competition so far?!
Tammy: It's all wet! I'm soaked! I need to dry off!
Guy: Would you let Doctor Guy dry you off?!
Tammy: No thanks! [Tammy twirls around and water drops fly all around and some gets on Guy.] Ooo....Chip...I love you...! [Rusty enters.] Aaaaaahhhhh!!! [Tammy twirls around away from Rusty towards the exit as Rusty follows her.]
Rusty: Please....I really love you!!
Guy: Oooooo....Guy like! [Back to the action.]
Vic: Top notch reporting as usual Guy. Next up for Rescue Rangers.
Fat Cat: Time to clobber those munks!
Vic: Here is Fat Cat; he is the kingpin of the Rescue Rangers world of crime.
Ken: Yeah; I heard that Fat Cat used to wear pants; but Chip & Dale gave him a monster wedgie!!
Vic: Distrubing stuff there Ken....[Fat Cat steps onto the turtles and progresses forward as Krusty follows behind him. However; Krusty slips on the sixth turtle and falls into the drink.] Seems Krusty's having problems swimming....
Ken: Problems swimming...What sea pirate doesn't know how to swim? [Fat Cat continues towards the 15th turtle struggling to keep his balance.]
Vic: Well there's Mr. Laffy....and crime didn't pay when he was around...
Ken: [Fat Cat recovers and makes it to the other side for the point.] Hey; crime does pay, he's just won one for the Rescue Rangers.
Vic: Right you are Ken....and Rescue Rangers take a 2-0 lead. Can Ducktales cut into the lead?
Mama Beagle: Give my Beagle Boys some compassion!
Vic: This is Mama Beagle; she is the convicted mother of the criminal gang; The Beagle Boys....
Ken: She's actually trying to reform herself because her Beagle Boys tried to sorch her breasts...
Vic: Ummm Kenny....please scoot to your side of the booth... [Mama Beagle gets onto the turtle and progresses forward.] Looks like Rusty's out of this event. [Kyle follows her.]
Ken: Probably still stalking to love Tammy.
Vic: [Mama Beagle makes it to the tenth turtle; but she slips and does a horrible faceplant and then slides into the water.] Right you are Ken and Mama's got cleaned up for her arrest. Let's go to the replay. [They go to the replay.]
Ken: Here; Mama Beagle does a beautiful plant of the face and then does my favorite Nintendo move; the Paper Thin Mario Naughty Slide into the water.
Vic: Indeed Ken...and I'm sure that the Nintendogs will sick on Mama for infringement of copyrights...[Back to the action.] And next up for Rescue Rangers....
Meps: Why do I have to win?!
Vic: Here is Meps; the henchman of Fat Cat who whines a lot.
Ken: Yeah; it's so loud that Fat Cat stuff ear plugs down Meps gullet to shut him up.
Vic: Makes Mad Dog sound quiet doesn't it?! [Meps gets onto the turtles and carefully walks forward and Krusty follows him from behind and gets on the fourth turtle. Krusty trips and falls into the drink.] These sea pirates are having more trouble with this event than the competitors.
Ken: They're cartoon characters Vic. They're used to this kind of slick surface....
Vic: Indeed...[Meps makes it to the fourteenth turtle and slips into the drink with a backflip.] Well; even cartoon characters slip up sometimes...Last up for Ducktales....
Scrooge: I love money!!
Vic: Here is Scrooge McDuck; he is the richest duck in the world.
Ken: Team Ducktales needs a point here or they are pretty much done here.
Vic: Indeed...[Scrooge McDuck does the legendary pogostick method as he skips on the turtles.] He's using the legendary pogo-stick method here to skip on the backs of the turtles as Kyle tries to catch up. [Kyle follows from behind and gets to the fifth turtle; but he slips and falls into the water.]
Ken: Is that legal Vicky?!
Vic: I don't think it's illegal...There's nothing in the rulebook that states that he cannot do it...Umm Kenny; scoot to your side... [Scrooge is towards the 13th turtle now.]
Ken: Will you stop that?! I was only trying to get a better look!!
Vic: Well; I'm sorry my little chum! [Kyle tries to swim towards Scrooge; but it was all for naught as Scrooge pogo sticks successfully to the other side for the point.] ....and Scrooge McDuck has done it!
Ken: That's just good Turtle Hurtling Vic...!
Vic: Indeed Ken and Ducktales is on the board...Can Rescue Rangers extend the lead?
Dale: Now I have something good for the...ladies! [Does a stupid dance.]
Captain: Do it on your own show!
Vic: Here's Dale; he is Chip's sidekick and partner for the Rescue Rangers.
Ken: I hear Chip & Dale are part of a sexual act...
Vic: Well; I wouldn't know Ken. I don't get involved in their sex life. [Dale gets onto the slick turtles and tries to progress forward. However; he slips on the third turtle and falls face first into the drink.] Well; that run was rather short...
Chip: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Ken: Hey; that third world thief stole my laugh...Why is he allowed to do that?!
Vic: Because he's better looking than you.
Ken: Oh man; these two chipmunks are playing for keeps. Even stealing my laugh.
Vic: Well Kenny; that's what happens when you're trying to win the affections of the mouse.....as so after the pogo-sticking efforts of one Scrooge McDuck; Team Ducktales is on the board. However; the fat dance of Fat Cat has Team Rescue Rangers leading 2-1.
Ken: What mouse?! It better be Mickey! [Vic just whistles.]
Announcer: Coming up next...It's time to tear down the wall...Hey; stop stealing my material Jerkco!!
[Commerical Break]
Announcer: We are back as the little people take on the big people.
[Back to the studio.]
Vic: Welcome back as the Rescue Rangers still lead 2-1. We are now down to 87 contestents.
Ken: 87 contestents.....
Vic: And it's still anyone's game....
Ken: It's still anyone's game...
Vic: What are you doing Ken?!
Ken: I'm trying to be a good television announcer....
Vic: Yeah; I can see that....
Ken: Being a good announcer on television...Trying to be focused with lots of energy...
Vic: Okay; that's way too much energy. [Ken begins to laugh again as Vic hits Kenny with his fan.] Kenny!
Ken: Newton's not smart...Even I could project a better sound bite than he could on an invention.
Vic: Why am I not surprised?! Darn it! Our next event is Wall Bangers. Each wall contains only one working door. Pick the right one and you win...Pick the wrong one and you belong to Skanky!
Ken: Today's sludge on the field comes from the washrooms of the Disney Stores all across America.
Vic: Grade-A stuff there Ken.
{Wall Bangers- There are four walls guarding the finish. Each wall contains four doors; each containing only one door for the contestent to tear through. Between the second and third wall; a large samurai mascot named Skanky awaits to do his double-fist on the compeitor. There is also mud on the entire field. You win if you tear down all four working doors in succession. You lose if you crash into the wrong door; or you break into a door which has a green net in it. You cannot lose if you get touched by Skanky.}
Captain: GET IT ON!!
Vic: First up for Team Rescue Rangers...
Foxglove: I love you Dale!
Vic: Here's the bat anthromorphic known as Foxglove....
Ken: Oooo....someone loves you!!
Vic: Ah Kenny?!
Ken: Yeah I know...scoot over to _that_ side of the booth. [Foxglove goes towards the fall wall and picks the second door on the left. She makes it through easily. She runs and picks the third door on the left; however, Foxglove smashes into the locked door.]
Vic: Right you are Ken...and the bat has gone splat! First up for Ducktales...
Duckworth: Sir! This stinks!
Vic: Here's Duckworth; he is the trusted butler of Scrooge McDuck.
Ken: He's never asked for a raise...Kind of like you Vic.
Vic: Personal stuff there Ken....[Duckworth runs and picks the first door on the left. He tears through with ease. Duckworth runs and picks the fourth door on the left and breaks through with ease. He would fall into the mud.] Well; Duckworth's dress in down in the dumps.
Ken: Scrooge McDuck's going to give him a hard time. [Skanky tries to give a double-fist; but Duckworth dodges and picks the third door on the left. He breaks through but he lands right into the green net.].....and he's going to be having a harder time with Skanky!
Vic: Right you are Ken! Good call! Next up for team Rescue Rangers...
Gadget: Golly; does Guy stink or what?!
Vic: Here's Gadget Hackenwrench; you may remember her earlier on that she was name the sexiest female on Disney Television. [Gadget runs and picks the third door on the left. However; she smashes herself into the locked door and breaks her tail.] Oh dear.... [Back into the studio as Ken looked shocked.]
Ken: She...got...painfully eliminated?! NOOOOOOOOOOO.....!!
Vic: Well my chum; I hope this will make you realize that there is more to life than.... [Kenny stopped crying and starts laughing again.] Kenny?!
Ken: [Vic hits Kenny with his fan.] Gadget's still my hero...You're too easy Vic. HEE HEE HEE!
Vic: Oh crud...[Back to the action.] Next up for Team Ducktales....
Flintheart: I'm rich and Scrooge is NOT!!
Vic: Is Flintheart Glomgold. He's known as the second richest man in the world.
Ken: He could have been the richest if he resorted to foul lanauage and sarcasm.
Vic: I think you're thinking about profession there Ken.... [Flintheart picks the second door on the left and goes through it with ease.] He has that unique web-foot first style....
Ken: ...and his knee first landing..[Flintheart recovers and chooses the third door from the left and he tears through; but he falls right into the muk.] He falls into the man pudding from the Disney Store.
Vic: Indeed...and here comes Skanky to give him a double-fist. [Flintheart shoves Skanky and he falls down hard.] Oh.... Skanky just got clobbered. [Flintheart chooses the first door on the left and tears right through easily.]
Ken: What has that fiend done to poor Skanky?! [Flintheart chooses the fourth door on the left and tears through successfully for the win.]
Vic: I don't know....but that fiend has tied it up for Team Ducktales.
Ken: [Skanky is in the muck.] Skanky's choking in the sludge and that calls for the MXC Impact Replay... [They show the replay.] Skanky The Lovable Mascot has fallen....and cannot get up! What a tragedy?! What a crime?!
Vic: Okay Kenny; that's enough....[Back to the action.] Next up for Team Rescue Rangers....
Nimuel: I'm not crazy!! But I am mad!
Vic: Here is Professor Nimuel. He is the crazy sciencist who believes that the Rescue Rangers are real.
Ken: Crazy?! The Rescue Rangers are real. Nimuel is a genius not like Newton.
Vic: Sometimes crazy people can be the best Ken [Nimuel picks the third door on the left and tears through.] They can often see things that aren't there. [Nimuel picks the fourth door on the left. However; he smashes into the locked door.] Sadly; that foresight didn't help him there....
Ken: Just like Newton...he's just senile...
Vic: Insightful as always Ken...Next up for Team Ducktales...
Gyro: This is my event!
Vic: This is Gyro Gearloose; he is the expert sciencist of Mr. McDuck.
Ken: Another senile professor...he has no chicks to love.
Vic: Kenny?! [Gyro picks the second door on the left; but he runs and smashes right into the locked door.]...Oh....I see what you mean there.
Ken: Told ya...
Vic: Last up for Team Rescue Rangers....
Monty: I love cheese...so sue me!
Vic: Here is Monteray Jack; in his first even since having to be drugged after Dope On A Rope thanks to someone putting cheese into the sludge..
Ken: [Monty picks the first door on the left and tears through it easily.] Hey Vic...please scoot to your side of the booth... [Monty picks the second door on the left and tears through easily falling into the sludge.] You believe in professional distance Vic...[Monty dodges Skanky as he chooses the third door on the left and tears through it easily.] Oh; look at this...He could go all the way...[Monty picks the fourth door and he smashes into the door.] Oh....!
Vic: Would of....Should of....Could of.....but didn't....Last up for Team Ducktales is Webby...We had a chance to talk to her about her chances of winning....
Webby: Ummm...what was the question again?... Oh yes...I have no chance.
Vic: Well; that was sheer honesty there Ken....[Webby picks the second door on the left and apporches it. She kicks the door lightly and it was locked.] Wow.
Ken: She didn't even try.
Vic: She's pretty smart Ken...at least she knows that she's a true MXC loser...and so thanks to the assault of Skanky by none other than Flintheart Glomgold...Team Ducktales has tied it up 2-2.
Announcer: Coming up next....it's time to clobber those Dominoes of Doom...Who's going to face TaleSpin nowe; Dorkhead!!
[Commerical Break...]
Announcer: And we are back with the Rescue Rangers VS. the Duck Rangers.
[Back inside the studio.]
Vic: Welcome back to the show as we are tied 2-2. I cannot believe your absolute, total disregard for the great sciencists of this great land....
Ken: That's not ture Vic...I love sciencists...One of my best friends happens to be a great sciencist.
Vic: Really?!
Ken: Yeah; his name is Dr. Fuju. He lives on Three Mile Island.....
Vic: Now wait a minute Kenny...I do not like where this is going...
Ken: Yeah; he was involved in that horrible nuclear accident...and he grew an extra nard. Now he can shoot lasers and cut diamonds with his nard.
Vic: Ah Kenny?! [Hits Kenny with his fan.] I'd like to see you make-up friends one of these days.
Ken: But he's real Vic....
Vic: Okay; let's go to our last event: The Dominoes of Doom. Each of these 20 concreate stones are painted to look like VCR boxes. You go as fast as you can across the stones to the other side without falling down....
Ken:....and sniffing you Bagdad!
Vic: Kenny!
{Dominoes of Doom- There are 40 solid boxes in between two black platforms; placed like dominoes. The contestents must run across them from right to left as fast as they can as the boxes fall like dominoes. You win if you make it to the other side. You lose if you fall onto the floor below and get taunted by MXC's hippie taunters.}
Ken: It alway works.
Vic: Of course.
Captain: GET IT ON!!
Vic: First up for Team Ducktales!
Dewey: Quackeroonie Redux!!
Vic: Here's Dewey Duck; who is one of the three nephews of Donald Duck...[Dewey runs across the blocks as fast as he can; but he mis-steps onto the 12th block and flops right onto the ground in pain.]...and he's down.
Ken: Man; those web-feet are going to be murder on those VCR boxes.
Vic: Right you are Ken...What a shame?! First up for Team Rescue Rangers.
Queenie: La....La....La....Lala!!
Vic: Here is the Queen of Honeybee's and Zipper's best friend Queenie.
Ken: I remember her very well. She was used by a super-villian to hypnotize people and make them into her undead servents.
Vic: I think that was the Undertaker's story there Ken...[Queenie runs as fast as she could on the boxes as they fall like dominoes. However; she slips on the sixth box and falls down onto the ground.] Oh!
Ken: She's wishing that she was still an undead servent!
Vic: Next up for Team Ducktales.
Fenton: I am _NOT_ Gizmo Duck!!
Vic: Here's Fenton Quackshell; he is the new employee for Scrooge McDuck...[Fenton runs as fast as he could across the boxes as they fall like dominoes. Fenton mis-steps on the 30th box and falls flat on his face and tumbles on the ground.]
Ken: That calls for an MXC Impact Replay. [They show the replay.]
Vic: Good running...good speed....good technique....and right there; he slips and falls.
Ken: And he cracks his beak right there....
Vic: Right you are Ken...Insightful as always....Next up for Team Rescue Rangers
Flash: You can still hate me....
Vic: Here's Flash The Wonderdog. [They show footage of his preformance on Dope On A Rope.] You may remember him winning a point for his team in Dope On A Rope. Can he give Team Rescue Rangers the lead in Dominoes of Doom? [Back to the action.]
Ken: [Flash runs onto the boxes and tries hard; but he mis-steps on the ninth box and the does the splits on the box as he tumbles to the ground.] That was really painful...
Vic: Indeed....Let's go to the replay. [They show the replay.]
Ken: Well; Flash became a MXC loser as he splits and falls right on his nards....
Vic: Kenny?!
Ken: Oh I'm sorry that was the wrong verb; I meant nads.
Vic: Okay....[Back to the action.] and next up for Team Ducktales....
Louie: Quackeroonie Grand Finale!
Vic: Here's Louie Duck; the third nephew of Donald Duck...Let's see if he can take the lead....[ Louie runs as fast as he could along the boxes. However; Louie mis-steps on the 23rd box and tumbles to the ground.]...No...
Ken: He failed there...Louie's earned the tri-fecta of losa!
Vic: Right you are Ken....Next up for Team Rescue Rangers....
Fat Cat: I will win and eat mice!
Vic: Here's Fat Cat who won our event of Turtle Hurtlers early on. He's here to replace Gadget who broke her tail earlier...
Ken: In fact; Fat Cat is the last competitor for the Rescue Rangers team because everyone's in the hospital right now with Launchpad....
Vic: Right you are Ken! [Fat Cat tries to run as fast as he can; however, his weight causes him to fall off the fourth box and tumble to the ground with a resounding thud..] Oh!
Ken: Looks like Fat Cat's joining Launchpad in that hospital too....[Fat Cat recovers and chokes out one of the taunters.]
Vic: Hey! He's choking our employees. What a sore loser?!
Ken: Good for him!! I hated those two; they are a pain in the rear.
Vic: Kenny...if you ever get sued; I hope you lose it....and now it's all up to Bubba Duck.
Bubba: Bubba SMASH!!
Ken: I guess we are going to overtime... [Bubba Duck runs as fast as he could as the dominoes falls. Bubba manages to gain just enough speed and techinque to make it to the other side for the point and the win.]
Vic: My chum; you mis-stepped on that one; because Bubba Duck has made it...Let's go to the replay.. [They show the replay.]
Ken: This is great speed and great techinque....just good dominoing!!
Vic: Right you are Ken...and that's all for Dominoes of Doom. Our last competitor was supposed to be Tammy; the only one who didn't get injuried...However; Rusty is still chasing her as we speak and she couldn't make it to the event.
[Back to the studio.]
Ken: Great today competition today Vic!
Vic: Indeed Ken and Team Ducktales now goes on to the finals againest Team TaleSpin.
Ken: Yeah; and it's too bad because I wanted Gadget to pull it out.
Vic: Ah! But there's one thing that will make things right...It's now time for Kenny Blankenship's Painful Eliminations of the Day!
[They show footage from the event.]
Ken: And the party begins at number ten with Fat Cat who takes a run on the wild side and tumbles into Loserville...but he does a gag job on that dumb-nut on his right....That was good....At number nine it's Donald Duck who gets to be the dope and he was roped into some sludge...What a waste?! At number eight; it's Mama Beagle who steals a proud copyright as she slides into the lost column...The lawyer dogs have been sicked on....At number seven; it is Dale who get laughed off by the ultimate third world thief....and people say Chip is the fighter of thieves in the animal world....At number six; it's Adminral Grimance who tries to destory evil; but he gets get clipped by the evil known as sludge...Goodbye Purple Heart...At number five; Gadget sadly to my sad ego get smashed and crashed into the locked door...but she's still my hero anyway because she's a real sciencist... More Wall Banging is in order with number four as Flintheart Glomgold just murders our lovable mascot Skanky...That was a huge cheap shot! At number three; it's Fenton who steps the mis-step and lands right on his brand new Steelbeak...OUCH!! At number two; it's Tammy who takes it too slow and gets caught by Rusty...OOOO.. that was a dirty girl; I smell a sexual conflict with Chip here....And now the piece of resistance...my most painful elimination of the day goes to...Launchpad McQuack! His mid-section does all the talking needed here....Man; that was too painful to watch.....I loved it anyway.....HEE HEE HOO HOO.... [Giggling]
[Back into the studio.]
Vic: Kenny; only you could make serious injury seem so brilliant....
Ken: [ignores him] ...and what do we always say?!
All: DON'T GET ELIMINATED!!
[The screen freezes as the credits roll.]
Vic: Time to get the nets for Rusty before Tammy's parents sue us to death....