Announcer: What are these cartoon characters running from? They're not! They're running to...the ultimate show in television history! Tonight; it's our series finale as the finals of the Cartoon World Cup commences. Can Team TaleSpin complete the miracle of sludge or will Innuyasha claw it's way to dominance in the world of animation? Find out as we get fired up for MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. And now two guys who need no introductions..and therefore won't get one from me...
[Back in the studio.]
Vic: Hello everyone to our last show of MXC ever. I'm Vic Ramano and this is...
Ken: [Forgetful] Ummm....
Vic/Ken: [Vic hits Ken with his fan.] Kenny Blankenship!
Vic: You did that right in front of Michael Eisner...[Vic points to his right over Kenny. Kenny sees a goofy man with a yellow shirt, blue overalls and goofy glasses with a piece of white paper up his nose. Kenny laughs his head off.] Why are you laughing like that?
Ken: He's a silly little dope! That's Michael Eisner?! No wonder Disney went into the toilet. HAHA!
Vic: Kenny! That's the guy who signs the checks for our production to use their characters.
Ken: So why does he dress up like a goof?!
Vic: Kenny?! CEO's dress up that way because they have no idea what real life is..
Ken: [laughing] HAHA!! No wonder Roy wanted him to resign...He should be an announcer like me. I'm so great!
Vic: Yeah sure Ken..All you say is _Oh! I'm Kenny Blankenship! I love pizza, beer and chicks_!
Ken: That was a pretty good voice over there Vic!
Vic: Thanks Ken...That was rare to see. So let's get this show started....So?
ALL: LET'S GET STARTED!![Pump their fists in the air in unison.]
[We go to the field with Guy.]
Guy: I'm Guy Ladouce; the most _animated_ reporter on television today..But I must digress because this is my last show and I'll have to go back to my basement and make movies again. It would be a _night of horror_. HOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA! So this is the finals of the World Cartoon Cup as our two teams..[They show footage of the TaleSpin and Innuyasha teams competing.] wrecked havoc, chaos and _udder destruction_!
[Back to the studio.]
Ken: HAHA! _Udder destruction_! That is priceless!
Vic: I think it proves that Guy's been drinking milk from the wrong source if you know what I mean..
Ken: I do know what you mean....HAHA!![Back to the field with Guy.]
Guy: This final event will contain the most dangerous and most wacky event on MXC: Starting with the Wall of Death; then it's Sinkers & Floaters, followed by Window Paine, then it's Wall Bangers and we end this World Cartoon Cup with the fearful tumbling Dominoes of Doom...So; I hear that the plane is in the air as I speak, let go to the Captain. Who's going to free-fall faster than the quality of my next home movie.. HOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
[We go to the sky as a plane hover around. The door opens and Captain Tanmeal falls out of the plane. He freefalls for a while before opening his golden parachute.]
Captain: Whoa; that's some amazing threads there tiger...[Captain glides for a while before landing in the forest and his parachute get caught in the trees right in front of the group.] Oh great! I'm stuck! How do I?![Everyone laughs in unison.] Hey! This is not funny...[The parachute pack comes loose and the Captain falls on his can. Everyone groans in sympathy pain.] OUCH! I'm glad that this is my last show...[He gets up and faces the group.] Okay...Welcome to the finals of the very last MXC Cartoon World Cup. So here is my last question: How many of you think that Innuyasha will finally kill Neraku? Show of hands, now!
ALL: YEAH! [Everyone raises their hands in unison.]
{Team TaleSpin- Baloo, Kit, Rebecca, Molly, WildCat, Louie, Shere Khan, Don Karnage, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Colonel Spigot, Sgt. Dunder, Trader Moe, Ape Goon, Rhino Goon, Professor Buzz. }
{Team Innuyasha- Innuyasha, Kygome, Shippo, Songo, Maroku, Neraku, Koga, Kilala, Settshomaru, Jargon, Rinn, Kagura, Yuka, Kikkyo, Kaede, Hojo. }
Captain: Well; you're wrong! Neraku will never die as long as Sunrise is making money off a cheap anime series. I wouldn't be surprised if he's blackmailing Sunrise with miasma right now.[Neraku gives an evil smirk.] I think that evil smile sezs it all!
Innuyasha: I knew something smelled rotten besides the scent of a demon.
Captain: Well you're a half-demon and Shippo is a full demon; maybe you're getting his scent.
Shippo: Hey! Are you saying that I stink?![Innuyasha bops him on the head.] OW! What did you do that for?!
Innuyasha: I knew someone was running interference!
Shippo: Maybe that's why you haven't got all of the sacred jewel shards! You smell demonic..
Innuyasha: How dare you?!
Kygome: SIT BOY!! [Innuyasha does a huge faceplant.] JERK!!
Captain: Now that's putting the mutt on his leash...[Gets into position.] Now that we got this nonsense out of the way; I will pick out the contestent who will officially open this World Cartoon Cup Final. Now this goes to a contestent who has demonstrated what it takes to both avoid being painfully eliminated and be painfully eliminated in style.. I present this honor to the captain of Team TaleSpin: Kit Cloudkicker..[Kit stands up and goes to the Captain as everyone claps their hands except for Innuyasha.]
Kit: Thanks Captain....
Innuyasha: He should give it to me and not this wimpy loser! HA!
Kygome: SIT BOY! [Innuyasha does a faceplant.]
Innuyasha: What did you do that for? It's the truth!
Kygome: You're such a jerk! Kit has got a lot of class and grace..and he stands up for responsability..even in the face of death!
Captain: [Gives Kit his sword.] This is going to be one for my retirement memories..So Kit?! You can do the honors!
Kit: [Does a perfect Captain stance.] LET'S GO![Everyone stands up and runs with Kit towards the first event. Kit still has the Captain's sword.]
Captain: Hey! That's my $39 prop sword! Give it back![The Captain chases after Kit as we return to the studio.]
Ken: HAHA! About time the Captain got his due for letting someone take the lead for the final..
Vic: Now come on Kenny![Hits Kenny with his fan.] It isn't that bad. Remember last year when the Cramp Twins' evil purple twin brother put gunpowder in his suit and lit it on fire?
Ken: Gosh! You mean to tell me that he wants to leave? Well; that would do it...
Vic: Actually Kenny the Captain has wanted to leave since day one; but pride and money always got into the way...[They show stock footage of Don Karnage firing the Lightning Gun.]...and there is the 22 Lightning Gun Salute as we begin the first event...[Back to the action.]
Ken: It's the sadistic _Wall of Death_!
Vic: That's no ordinary _Wall of Death_ there Ken. It's the dreaded Blistering Wall of Slanted Death! When you think you are safe going up; you have to slide down the metal slide which the sun has heated to 500 degrees. Slide down too slow and you'll have instant fried bums!!
Ken: And our cooling muck is from the toilets of Tiny's Grill!
Vic: Seedy stuff there Ken...
Captain: GET IT ON!
{The Blistering Wall of Slanted Death- There is a huge wooden wall standing 100 feet wide by 10 inches long by eight feet tall. The right side is straight up while the left side contains a steel slide which is slanted at a 45 degree angle towards the ground which is covered in mud. All 32 contestents on the signal will run to the right side of the wall and climb up. Once they climb over the top; they slide down the hot metal slide onto the cold mud. The contestents have one minute to get all of its team over the wall. Each contestent who lands in the muck scores one point for their team.}
Vic: [The whistle sounds and all 32 contestents run to the wall.] And we're off as everyone scrambles to climb that blistering wall of slanted death![ Innuyasha, Settshomaru, Neraku, Kilala, Koga, Songo and Kargura jump over the wall and slide down the quickly in less than five seconds after the signal.]...and nearly half of Innuyasha's team is over the wall...
Ken: So much for MXC's ani-magic barrier..[Everyone else is struggling to climb up.]
Vic: What barrier Ken?[Kit climbs up easily and slides on the slide with his feet.]..and Kit Cloudkicker slides down standing for his team.
Ken: Probably to stop people from tickling him down there.
Vic: Good observation there Ken...[Baloo helps Rebecca, Molly, Louie, Buzz and Wildcat over the wall. Kygome, Kikkyo, Maroku and Shippo manage to go over the wall themselves. Kygome slides looking backwards and clips her neck onto the ground.] Oh man...That was painful!
Ken: And that is our first MXC Impact Replay in the World Cartoon Cup..[They show the replay.] OUCH! That was painful!
Vic: Indeed...Kygome appears to snap six verbrate on that move..
Ken: Actually; it was her skirt snapped up six inches! I can see her babies!
Vic: Kenny!1[Back to the action.]...and Innuyasha painfully takes the lead and...[Dunder helps Colonel Spigot over the wall. Colonel Spigot slides down the slide slowly which causes Spigot's butt to catch fire. Spigot runs around and trips; falling into the muck.] Oh...Spigot just caught light there..
Ken: The short joke's on fire! The short joke's on fire! HAHA![Dumptruck helps Don Karnage and Mad Dog over the left side of the wall as well. Ape Goon and Rhino Goon push Trader Moe into the wall. Trader Moe yells as Ape Goon and Rhino Goon push Trader Moe over the wall.]
Vic: Kenny! [Rinn grabs Jargon and throws him over the wall. He smacks into the much without touching the slide.] Looks like Rinn has learned the fine art of teamwork!
Ken: Looks like frog demon tossing to me...[Rhino Goon helps Ape Goon and Dumptruck over the wall.]
Vic: Indeed....Thirty second left and most of the contestents from each team have gone over the wall..[Hojo helps Yuka, Rinn and Kaede over the wall.]
Ken: And Baloo appears to be over the hill...[Baloo helps Sgt. Dunder and Shere Khan over the wall which leaves Baloo and Rhino Goon left.]
Vic: I don't see the connection as there are fifteen seconds left with three competitors to go over the blister wall of death..[Hojo grabs onto the edge of the wall and squirms around. With great effort he manages to get over the wall and slide down.] All of Innuyasha's team is over and TaleSpin better hurry..[Rhino Goon and Baloo shove each other which causes Rhino Goon and Baloo to exchange punches.] Something's gone wrong here!
Ken: This is going to be good. Bear on Rhino action...[Rhino grabs Baloo and manages to throw Baloo barely over the wall. Baloo tumbles on the slide and rolls into the mud.] Baloo's now my favorite mud wrestler. HAHA!
Vic: Indeed he is Ken...So Rhino Goon must get over by himself..[Rhino tries to grab the edge of the wall; but slips and falls down as the sierns blows.].. and no good as time has run out! Innuyasha will take the first lead of the contest: 16-15 [ Back to the studio.]
Ken: Wow; that must be some record!
Vic: Indeed it is Ken...So what did we learn from this experience?
Ken: Let's look at the clips from the first event..[They show clips from the first event.] You can see that Innuyasha's early plan was to blitz their strongest contestents over the wall while TaleSpin was using teamwork to help their mates over the hill. However; the end started when TaleSpin's teamwork was their only plan which left Rhino Goon holding the bag while Hojo squirms himself over the wall for the victory...[Back to the studio.]
Vic: Wow Kenny...You hit that right on the head.
Ken: Actually; I hit it right into Kygome's babies. HAHA!
Vic: Kenny! [Hits Ken with his fan twice.]
Ken: Ow! What did you do two for?!
Vic: Since this is the final show everything is done with twice the effort![ Hits Kenny with his fan twice and smacks Justin who is sitting behind Kenny.]
Justin: Hey! I didn't do anything wrong!
Vic: I just love hitting you with my fan. Plus; you're part of the Kenny Blankenship _fan_ club..
Justin: I hate you Kenny!
Vic: [Hits Justin with his fan.] That makes you the _anti-fan_! Heh heh! Our next event of the evening for the MXC World Cartoon Cup Final is an old school favorite: Sinkers & Floaters! Cross the stones on the pool of stool without getting a mouthful of septic sludge!
Ken: And today's sludge is man pudding donated from the toilets of the Demon Wolf Tribe.
Captain: GET IT ON!
Rhino Goon: Those stones look clean!
Vic: Speaking of the toon who was holding the _bag_; our first contestent is Rhino Goon; the dumb goon of arms dealer Trader Moe...[Rhino Goon skips the stone but slips on the third stone and falls into the fuild.]Oh!
Ken: A clean stone is a slippery stone!
Vic: Right you are Ken..and coming from your mouth it isn't saying very much! First up for Innuyasha...
Yuka: The real Hojo is mine!!
Vic: Here is one of Kygome's friends Yuka and apparently she wants Hojo..[ Yuka skips the stones and the fourth stone sinks causing her to splash hard into the fuild.] Oh!
Ken: And Hojo is not her mojo..HAHA!
Vic: Indeed Ken...and the double entrandes continue for no reason whatsoever.. Next up for TaleSpin...
Ape Goon: Yeah; it looks clean!
Vic: Here is Trader Moe's other dumb goon; the Ape Goon...[Ape Goon does the same thing as Rhino Goon and gets the same result.]Oh! That is a case of deja vu...
Ken: [They show the replay] That was picture perfect Vic! How did he do it?!
Vic: It's all in the r...Ah never mind. You wouldn't understand!
Ken: I don't want to understand.
Vic: Of course you don't Ken...[Back to the action.]
Kygome: [Holding her neck.] I'll be okay...
Vic: Next up for Innuyasha is the captain's parnter Kygome who seems to be having trouble with her neck...[Kygomes tries to skip the stone; but the neck is clearly distracting her. Kygome slips on the fifth stone and lands on her groan and whiplashes backwards into the fuild.] Oh my..God...[Back to the studio as Ken and Vic look stunned before going back to the action.]
Ken: She must feel really stupid right now..
Vic: I don't think she's feeling anything from the neck down Ken...and that's our MXC Impact Replay.[They show the replay.]
Ken: Her neck acted like a manager and it worked to perfection as Kygome lands and crushes her _babies_!
Vic: Kenny!!
Ken: Oh sorry that was the wrong verb; I meant nards![Back to the studio.]
Vic: All right...Let's go to Guy as I hear that there is a fight going on the premises...[We go to the field with Guy as Innuyasha and Koga are fighting each other.]
Guy: Guy here and I'm following up this story of the dog demon and the wolf demon fighting for my pleasure.. HOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHA![Innuyasha and Koga continue to tumble on the ground fighting each other.]
Innuyasha: How dare you donate your poo to MXC?! Kygome now reeks of wolf stink!!
Koga: At least my _poo_ has class you dirty mutt!
Innuyasha: How dare you?! Kygome doesn't love you you stinky wolf demon!
Koga: You're just jealous because you are a dirty mutt whose paranoid that Kygome is going to marry me! [Kygome enters holding her neck and she is mad.]
Innuyasha: I oughta...[Innuyasha and Koga are standing up and choking each other.]
Kygome: SIT BOYS!![Innuyasha and Koga do a faceplant repeatly!] SIT BOYS!! [Repeatly.] YOU'RE SUCH JERKS!!
Guy: Ooo...Guy would like to be jerked around..and I don't have a necklace! HOHOHOHAHAHAHA!! [Guy tries to grab Kygome; but Kygome turns around and uppercuts Guy into the sky and Guy goes out of sight.]....OOOOOO....GUY LIKEEEEEEEEEEEE....!!
Innuyasha: That's the first thing she's done right...[Koga nods as they are talking behind Kygome's back.]
Kygome: SIT BOYS!! [Koga and Innuyasha do another faceplant.]
Koga: So much for that plan...[Back to the action.]
Vic: If that is his last report; then it was unforgettable wasn't it?
Trader Moe: I need some new goons!!
Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is the arms dealer himself Trader Moe and once again he hates his goons...[Trader Moe skips the stones; but slips on the seventh stone like a banana peel and falls into the fuild.] Oh!...and that run was shorter than the joke being played! What a shame?! Next up for Innuyasha...
Hojo: I'll protect you with my life Kygome!!
Vic: Here is the funky samurai monk Hojo...[Hojo starts skipping the stones.]
Ken: I wish I could get chicks like that...but Hojo is too funky to make it... [Hojo makes it to the other side for the point.]...Oh he made it! I knew it all the time...[They show the replay.]
Vic: Of course you did Ken...and I think Kygome is love squared. Heh heh. Get it? Love...three lovers...[Ken ignores him.] Ah...never mind..[Back to the action]
Kit: YAHOO!!
Vic: Last up for TaleSpin is the Captain of the team: Kit Cloudkicker..[Kit skips the stones quickly and makes it to the other side for the point.]...and Kit has done it![Kit continues to run.]...and he's still going...
Ken: Hey Kit! Watch out for that tr...[Kit stops just a few feet short of the tree.]..Wow! He avoided the same fate he suffered in the Disney Cup Final...[ Innuyasha comes up from behind and nails Kit right in the back of the head.] What was that?! [Kit falls to his knees.]
Innuyasha: That'll teach ya to steal my thunder Shippo![Kygome appears.]
Kygome: That's not Shippo! SIT BOY!![Innuyasha does a faceplant.] You're such a jerk![Kygome storms off as Kit gets up looking dazed.]
Kit: Someone get the number of that fist...[Kit walks away in a daze.]
Innuyasha: Things cannot get any worse...[Back to the action]
Kaede: Ye bop ye in the head.
Vic: Okay; last up for Innuyasha is the 50-year priestess Kaede...[Kaede tries to skip the stones; but slips on the eighth stone and falls face first into the fuild.] Oh! She drank some _unholy water_ on that one. So thank to Kit Cloudkicker; TaleSpin stays in the game. But Hojo's hot streak of singleness gives Innuyasha the lead after two rounds: 17-16!
Announcer: Coming up next; it's time to shatter some common sense! Don't _fall to pieces_ Dopehead!!
[Commerical Break.]
Announcer: And we are back as round three commences between the dog demons againest the _bare_ demons! I wrote that one myself!
[Back into the studio.]
Vic: We are back with Team Innuyasha leading Team TaleSpin 17-16. I would like to take the time to thank Sunrise and Disney for their support throughout this World Cartoon Cup tournment. I would like to thank Sunrise for bringing good shows such as Innuyasha and Outlaw Star while I thank Disney for producing such educational and quality shows such as Teamo Surpremo.[Kenny laughs like a girl.]
Ken: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vic: What's so funny?!
Ken: Teamo Stupidito a quality show?! HAHA! You got that cue from Eisner didn't ya?
Vic: Of course I did Ken...What's your point?!
Ken: HAHA! You and Eisner are separated at birth; you both love cartoon boobs!
Vic: [Hits Ken twice with his fan.] That's why I have you Ken! And now it's time for the third event of the evening: Window Paine! This was inspired by Thomas Paine who was trying to unleash some common sense and the mob smacked him into the window.
Ken: Like a freakin bug on my windshield!
Vic: Indeed Ken...What is today's mystery fuild in the pond?
Ken: That's runoff from the toilets of Kygome's house.
Vic: Sweet stuff there indeed!
Captain: GET IT ON!
Rinn: [On top of the window.] I'll give you a present if you win Master Jargon!
Jargon: [On the swing.] No thanks!
Vic: First up for Innuyasha is Master Jargon; the frog demon whose wooden staff breathes fire. He was also tossed away by Rinn in the previous segment...
Ken: This looks like that couples episode a couple of years back...[Jargon swings the rope.]
Vic: That's because in both shows; there is romance in the air...[Jargon tries to jump and smack into the board. However; Jargon doesn't get enough steam and falls into the fuild.]...and there's no present for him! What a shame?!
Ken: [They show the replay] He'll get a death wish after that run...
Vic: Indeed...Absolutely no _paine_ on that exchange...[Back to the action.]
Mad Dog: I'm smarter than you!
Dumptruck: You're not!
Mad Dog: Well I saw a picture of a school once!
Vic: First up for TaleSpin is the pirate with a head made of solid bone: Dumptruck... [Dumptruck tries to swing across; but his hands slip instantly and falls back into the fuild.] Oh! [They show the replay.]
Ken: I hope he's better with a sword than swinging a rope. Instant impaler is he not?
Vic: Right you are Ken...That run will stab you in the heart..[Back to the action]
Rinn: You can do it Settshomaru!
Settshomaru: This is pointless.
Vic: Next up for Innuyasha is the half brother of Innuyasha: Settshomaru.
Ken: The cold blooded full demon with a death wish on Jargon..[Settshomaru swings the rope.]
Vic: Indeed he is Ken...[Settshomaru jumps and smacks againest the board. However; he smacks too hard againest the board and tumbles into the fuild.] Well; that was pointless.
Ken: Just like his pact to kill Jargon.
Vic: Indeed...
Mad Dog: I'm _still_ smarter than you!
Dumptruck: You _still_ aren't!
Mad Dog: I _still_ saw a picture of a school once!
Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is the whiny feret Air Pirate: Mad Dog...[Mad Dog tries to swing the rope; but his hand slips and does a big 360 before falling into the fuild.] Oh gosh! That was a crash course in losing!
Ken: [They show the replay.] That also call for the MXC Impact Replay..That is what I call the old ferris wheel...A perfect MXC loser!!
Vic: Right you are Ken...That was being in a _tailspin_..Get it? Tale...Spin..[Kenny ignores him.]...Yeah; you don't care...[Back to the action.]
Koga: I'll win your love Kygome!
Kygome: [holding her neck.] Ow..my neck!
Vic: Next up for Innuyasha is the leader of the demon wolf tribe Koga..[Koga swings the rope.]
Ken: I think Koga's about to get crushed...[Koga jumps and makes it to the board. However; Kygome unintentionally nails Koga in the head and he tumbles into the fuild.]...Right there....
Vic: Right you are Ken...Koga's crush has been crushed..
Ernie: Skyward Ho!
Buzz: Defender of our planet!
Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is Professor Buzz; the mad sciencist for Khan Industries and mad Bullethead fan..
Ken: You mean Bullethead demeans women?[Buzz swings from the rope.] That's perverted!
Vic: What do you know about women Ken?[Buzz jumps and sticks right on the board for the point.]...and Buzz has stuck it!!...And TaleSpin has tied the game at 17![They show the replay.]
Ken: Wait a minute?! Right there...[A circle is placed around Ernie.] Ernie's not a contestent tonight. That's cheating!
Vic: Compared to what happened last week; this is absolutely nothing! Besides; he didn't touch him Ken.
Ken: Oh yeah...Crap...[Back to the action.]
Shippo: I'm going to win!! Yay!!
Innuyasha: Just get on with it!
Vic: Last up for Innuyasha is the little fox demon Shippo...[Shippo swings the rope and appears to be showing off.]
Ken: Shippo's going to be whipped for that...
Vic: That wasn't very nice Ken...[Shippo jumps and sticks onto the board.].. and he...[Innuyasha bops Shippo on the head and Shippo is bopped into the fuild before the three second rule goes into effect.]...Oh! Innuyasha just cost them a win..
Kygome: SIT BOY! [Innuyasha does a faceplant.] You're such a jerk!! We could have won!
Vic: [They show the replay.] Why did Innuyasha do that?!
Ken: Shippo was showing off Vic! Everyone knows that showoffs are nothing but dorks!
Vic: Insightful as always Ken...[Back to the action.]
Sgt. Dunder: If I don't win this event; I'll be shot!
Colonel Spigot: Wrong Dunder! You'll be burned as the stake, beheaded and hung.. Then you'll be shot!
Sgt. Dunder: Okay Colonel...
Vic: Last up for TaleSpin is the impressionable Sgt. Dunder of the Mommyland of Thembria..[Dunder swings the rope; but a gunshot is heard and the rope snaps. Dunder falls into the fuild.] Oh my![The camera pans to the window and it shows Spigot putting the pistol back in his uniform.] Why did Spigot do that?
Ken: [They show the replay] I guess he wanted to make it fair..I never know with those Thembrian swine.
Vic: Indeed Ken...and thanks to the Bullethead pounce of Professor Buzz; TaleSpin has tied the score at 17!
Announcer: Coming up next; it's time to bang down the wall! Don't crumble under pressure Goosepimps!!
[Commerical Break]
Announcer: We're back with round four as the Airplane Jane's take on the Fedual knaves!![Back to the studio.]
Vic: Welcome back as we are in a 17-17 draw here at the World Cartoon Cup Final on MXC. So Ken; what are you going to do after this show is over..besides eat pizza, drink beer and date chicks?[Ken is stunned] You're going to need a new job now that MXC is gone.
Ken: Yeah; I've been thinking about being an announcer..I've been practicing.
Vic: Really Ken...
Ken: [Announcer's Voice] I'm trying to focus and with lots of energy..being an announcer on tv!
Vic: Okay Ken; that was way too much engery. You sound like a...Wait a minute?! You're trying to get in bed with Katie Couric!
Ken: Yeah..[Announcer's Voice] I'm going to be her second banana of her life as being an announcer on TV!
Vic: But Kenny; you don't have the professionalism to have her job even as a second banana. I've seen you bet on actual MXC teams. You cannot stay unbiased!
Ken: Yeah; well what are you going to do after MXC Vicky?!
Vic: I'm going back to doing my previous job of being a pilot and..[Kenny laughes hard.] That's a noble job you little monkey![Vic hits Ken with has fan twice.] It's not funny!
Ken: HAHA! I can't wait to see saucy Vic flying a plane in circles! HAHA!
Vic: I've been off the sauce for years and now thanks to you; you just had to remind our biggest fan who happens to be my previous boss! Darn you! Now I'm going to have to call my sponser and my employment officer...Time now for our fourth event of the evening: Wall Bangers! Crash through one of four doors four times to win; but some of them are locked. Choose wrong and you belong to Skanky!
Ken: Today's much is provided by the Cape Suzette Mud Museum.
Captain: GET IT ON!
Louie: [Different voice.] Stop stealing my voice!
Vic: First up for TaleSpin is the owner of the best bar on the south seas; Louie..[Louie chooses the second door on the left and goes through it with ease.]
Ken: Wasn't it Eisner who stole Louie's voice?!
Vic: I'm going to have to ask the estate on that one Ken...[Louie chooses the first door on the left and smashes hard againest it.] Oh!...and Louie's meeting the wall..What a shame?!
Ken: He'll be lucky if he has a voice left after that run.
Vic: Indeed...Next up for Innuyasha is the wind mage Kagura. We had a chance to talk to her about Neraku. She wasn't at a loss for words...[We go to the field with Kagura.]
Kagura: It's very simple. I do his bidding or die. I am a part of him. I must win for Neraku or lose the heart that grants me life. I hate him![Back to the action.]
Ken: Doesn't that mean that she hates herself?[Kagura chooses the fourth door from the left and tears through it easily.]
Vic: I don't see the connection there Ken...[Kagura chooses the second door from the left and tears through it easily.]...Kagura making a good run as she dodges Skanky's double-fist..[Kagura dodges Skanky and chooses the third door on the left and passes through it easily.]...Look at her go...
Ken: She could go all the way and...[Kagura picks the first door on the left and smashes into it.]...she's demon meat! HAHA!
Vic: Hmmm...tasty there Ken..
Colonel Spigot: Please don't shoot me!
Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is the short warthog colonel from Thembria: Spigot...[Colonel Spigot chooses the first door on the left and smashes into the door hard.]. Oh my...His _spigot_ is hanging out there...[They show the replay] That's our MXC Impact Replay.
Ken: He went in like a warthog and went out like a dejected little girl!
Vic: Indeed...[Back to the action]
Kikkyo: I have no reason to be here!
Vic: Next up for Innuyasha is the dead priestess Kikkyo...[Kikkyo chooses the third door from the left and tears through it easily.]
Ken: If she's dead then why isn't she going through the locked doors..[Kikkyo picks the second door to the left and smashes up againest it.] This is whack![They show the replay.]
Vic: I guess that is the after effects of the anti-cheating device Ken. As you can see there was absolutely no banging techinque there...[Back to the action.]
Shere Khan: I'm still not amused.
Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is the ruthless CEO of Khan Industries..[Khan chooses the second door on the left and tears through it easily.]..and he isn't afraid to get his clothes dirty...[Khan chooses the fourth door on the left and busts through it easily. He does a bellyflop and gets his suit dirty.] Oh!
Ken: That'll cost him $5000 is damages!
Vic: Indeed...Skanky's attempting to give him a double-fist....[Mr. Khan dodges Skanky and chooses the fourth door on the left. Khan tears through the door; but get caught in the net.] Oh![Skanky gives Khan a double bop to the head.] OUCH! What a shot by Skanky!
Ken: He just found out how ruthless Skanky is...No raise for you!
Vic: Right you are Ken....and next up for Innuyasha...
Kilala: ROAR!!
Vic: Here is the flame cat tiger friend of Songo: Kilala...[Kilala chooses the second door from the left and tears through it easily.].. She does it rather simple..
Ken: She's on four legs; so she'll always land on her feet..[Kilala chooses the third door from the left and smashes into it.]..and it didn't help her there.
Vic: Indeed...She crashed and burned on that run... and last up for TaleSpin...
Don Karnage: This is marvelous!! Yesno?!
Vic: Here is the captain of the Air Pirates Don Karnage...[Don Karnage choose the third door from the left and tear through easily.]...and he gets off to a great start!
Ken: This is going to end ugly like it always does with the Captain...[Don chooses the first door from the left and tears through easily. He falls into the muck.]..HAHA!
Vic: How can you talk to the skipper like that?![Don Karnage gets up and Skanky charges him. Don pushes him out of the way and chooses the third door from the door. He gets through easily.]..Skanky is pushed down by Don Karnage...[Don chooses the second door from the left and tear through it easily for the point.]...and he's done it! You are screwed Kenny! Kiss my butt!! HAHA!!
Ken: What's wrong with you?!
Vic: Ah..Nothing..Ken....Nothing at all...
Neraku: You'll all die!
Vic: Last up for Innuyasha is the sadistic demon Neraku who blackmailed Sunrise... [Neraku chooses the first door on the left and tears through it easily.]
Ken: Hey Vic; do you think that blackmail would work on the network to get our show renewed?
Vic: No; I don't think so Ken..[Neraku chooses the second door on the left and tears through it without any problems. Skanky charges at Neraku and Neraku touches Skanky with Miasma.] What is that?![Skanky collapses and looks purple.]
Ken: What is wrong with Skanky?![Neraku chooses the second door from the left and tears through it easily.]
Vic: I think his dead wish is coming true Ken...[Neraku chooses the first door on the left and tear through it for the point.]...and that was a deadly statement to say the least! So thanks to the sadist villians it is all tied at 18!
Announcer: Coming up next; it's the final tumble! Don't slip up Dominoputz!!
[Commerical Break]
Announcer: We're back with the final round as the Talespinner take on the Innuyashers..[whines] I don't want this to end! I've got a family to support! [We go to the field with Vic and Kenny in mini tanks. Their posse is with them.]
Vic: Poor guy...Welcome back to MXC as both our final teams are tied at eighteen.
Ken: That is close Vic!
Vic: It's MXC close Ken...I notice that you look much better...A lot less drunk than usual.
Ken: [Using his fan to fan himself.] I had to puke; the liquor at the MXC party was terrible!
Vic: I'm glad you got that out of your system...
Ken: Yeah; I puked in someone's car...in the alleyway.
Vic: Did you puke in a beige 1982 Volkswagon Golf....
Ken: Yeah?
Vic: Oh crap! Time now for our last event: The Tumbling Dominoes of Doom! Cross the top of those dominoes to the other side without tumbling down and being made fun of by our wimpy taunters!
Captain: GET IT ON!
Maroku: My love is loveless!
Vic: First up for Innuyasha is the perverted monk Maroku; the master of the wind tunnel...[Maroku steps across the dominos as fast as he can. However; he slips on the tenth domino and he tumbles to the ground.]...Oh! That was not a good run.
Ken: That run's more perveted than his touching of Songo.
Vic: Indeed Ken...and first up for TaleSpin is Baloo. We had a chance to talk to him about his boss Miss Cunningham..[We go to the field with Baloo.]
Baloo: Just between you and me...I think Beckey's a no good dic...
Rebecca: Baloo?! What did you say?!
Baloo: I think Beckey's a pretty good boss. The best boss in the world...Gotta go.. [Back to the action]
Vic: I guess he knows his place now...[Baloo steps across the top of dominoes; but slips on the fifth one and tumbles hard to the ground. The ground shakes and the sixth stone squashes Baloo.]Oh my gosh! That is painful to watch!
Ken: That calls for the MXC Impact Replay...[They show the replay.] Now that's what I call a hero sandwich!
Vic: Indeed Ken...I would call it Rebecca's Karma if you knew what karma was Ken...[Ken ignores him.]...I didn't think so..[Back to the action]
Rinn: This is so freakin easy!
Vic: Next up for Innuyasha is Rinn; the small child who follows Settshomaru around after her parents were slaughtered...[Rinn walks across the dominoes and her small figure allows her to get to the other side for the point.]...and she's done it! What a run for Rinn?![They show the run in reverse.]
Ken: Look! She's going back! This is freakin easy![They show the replay.] She's doing it again! She's freakin great!
Vic: No Kenny...She's freakin lucky![Back to the action] Next up for TaleSpin...
Rebecca: They never taught me this in business school.
Vic: Here is the owner of Higher For Hire Rebecca Cunningham...[Rebecca steps on top of the dominos. However; she slips on the third last domino and tumbles into the last two dominoes onto the ground.]..Oh!
Ken: She's gone from lion dicator to lamb dejected little girl. HAHA!
Vic: Right you are Ken...Very sick moment there..
Songo: I hate perverts!
Vic: Next up for Innuyasha is the demon slayer Songo..[Songo walks the top of the dominoes but slips onto the fifth domino and tumbles down to the ground.]Oh!
Ken: She got _slayed_ on that one![The taunter go over to taunt Songo.]
Vic: Right you are Ken....[The taunters get too close to Songo and she attacks them.] Oh...and Songo has gone beserk!
Ken: Good for her...I hate those taunters. They're annoying!
Vic: Normally; I would be upset for your intolerance, but they are annoying... Next up for TaleSpin...
Molly: I'm Dangerwoman!
Vic: Here is the spunky daughter of Rebecca Cunningham: Molly Cunningham![Molly races across the dominoes and makes it to the other side without causing a single domino to tumble for the point.]Oh! Rinn is right! This is freakin easy![They show the replay.] She just races through and with absolutely no weight on her feet she makes it without a single domino falling down.
Ken: That is just perfect dominoing Vic!
Vic: Indeed...[Back to the action.]
Innuyasha: Die Neraku! Die!
Vic: Last up for Innuyasha is the half dog demon captain himself..[Innuyasha hops across the dominos three at a time and is close to making it.] He's going to...
Kygome: SIT BOY!![Innuyasha does a faceplant and tumbles to the ground.]
Vic:...fall.[Back to the field of tanks.]
Innuyasha: Why did you do that for?!
Ken: Yeah; why?!
Kygome: You're cheating Innuyasha!
Vic: There's your answer Ken. Do not speak of this anymore. So it is all tied at nineteen and we have one more contestent left.[Back to the action.]
WildCat: This is my watch...and I am....slow!
Vic: Last up for TaleSpin is the dimwitted mechanic WildCat...
Ken: I suspect that we're going into overtime...[WildCat walks on top of the dominoes.]
Vic: I suspect that he's...[Wildcat slips on the final domino. However; he falls forward and lands on the platform for the win and the championship.]... done it! They've done it! Unbelievable!!. We have wittnessed the biggest upset in the history of MXC...[They show the replay.] So thanks to the _excuse me_ run of Frank WildCat; TaleSpin takes the MXC World Cartoon Cup with a final score of 20-19! TaleSpin is the 2006 Cartoon of the year! A miracle workers dream come true as we go to the Captain for the presenatation of the trophy.
[We go to the field as the entire TaleSpin gang that competed in the MXC tournments sit down. The Captain stands in front of them holding the trophy. The trophy was a standard bowling trophy with a human getting nailed by a boulder in Boulder Dash. The engraving on the wooden stand covered with a gold plate reads: _2006 MXC WORLD CARTOON CUP CHAMPION TEAM TALESPIN. Now can you please renew them Disney?_]
Captain: Ladies and Gentleanimals....I would like to present on behalf of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge and Spike TV...The 2006 MXC World Cartoon Cup Championship to the captain of Team TaleSpin: Kit Cloudkicker.[Everyone claps and cheers as Kit stands up and gently takes the trophy.]
Kit: Thank you Captain...[Kit cheers as he holds the trophy into the sky.] I would like to say thank you to....
Ken: Wait a minute....[Back to the tanks.]
Vic:What is it this time you little monkey?![Hit Ken with his fan twice.] This is a perfect celebration of excellence and you're ruining it!!
Ken: I thought that we were banned from showing TaleSpin winning championships because of Michael Eisner hating this show?!
Vic: Didn't you already hear Ken?! After TaleSpin won the World Cartoon Cup; Michael Eisner resigned from Disney. He couldn't take the fact that TaleSpin was a top-notch show anymore and Bob Iger took his place. Little does Eisner know that Iger has been secretly enjoying TaleSpin behind his back.
Ken: Then why hasn't Kit smashed the trophy yet?!
Vic: You've been watching too much wrestling Ken...and I would suspect that Innuyasha would be smashing the trophy and Kit's face if Kygome didn't keep saying _Sit Boy_![Ken does a faceplant.]
Ken: Ouch! That smarts!
Vic: Anyway; since this is our last show, I would like to invite you and the gang to join me for a farewell dinner at the Fudge Shack.
Ken: Okay; but I can't drive. It's happy hour!
Vic: No problem Ken...You'll be sitting in the front passenger seat of my car.
Ken: Ah Vic..that's the exact spot where I puked.
Vic: Exactly Ken...and it's now time for Kenny Blankenship's Painful Elinimations of the Day!
[They show footage from the event.]
Ken: And the chaos begins with Guy LaDouce who does his best to create a quick exit. Good luck on your next home movie! I would call it Kygome's Punch Drunk Fight! HAHA!.... At number nine; it's Shere Khan who tries to grab the golden parachute and gets caught in a tangled web of corruption. Skanky gives him the bankrupty blow....At number eight; it's Shippo who thinks that showing off is cool and Innuyasha knocks him down at least three or four pegs. What a dork he is?!.....At number seven; it's those goons of doom who repreat a perfect dive into MXC loserville! That is perfect recycling too!....At number six; it's Baloo who finds out that for a lack of brains; Rhino Goon's got a perfect suckerpunch. Teamwork really does _blow away_! HAHA!.... At number five; it's Kygome who snaps her neck and then snaps on her teammates! Get her a neckbrace and a lawyer STAT!....At number four; it's a second helping of Baloo as he tumbles into dust and become a bear sandwich. Hold the mayo and the cheesy nose!...At number three; it's Mad Dog who does a slip up that causes him to be the human ferris wheel! Time to put on the dunscap loser!.... At number two; it's Colonel Spigot who wishes he was shot after this short run. It's the ultimate short joke of a loser! HAHA!...And my most painful elimination goes to those annoying taunters who got their beanbags pounded by the moral rightous demon slayer! OUCH! They may not be perverts; but those shots are MXC perverted! OUCH!! That's got to slay me!! OUCH!! But you know what; I still think that the most painful elimination of all time goes to this...[They show the footage of Rebecca kissing Baloo from the Disney Cup Final.]
Vic: Kenny?! Why are you showing that again? It's not painful...
Ken: It still is to me...[Baloo's face is replaced with Kenny's face.] That's better...Oooo....Kiss him...kiss him again....I wish that was Kygome doing it. HAHA! That..is..all!! [Back to the field with the tanks.]
Vic: You just never learn do you Ken..I guess you're asking for some heat when the secret surprise is revealed.[ 15 small tanks ride from the background towards Vic and Kenny and stop about fifty feet away. 13 more tanks arrive behind Vic and Kenny.]Ah; everyone is here...
Ken: What are all these tanks doing here?!
Vic: Well Kenny...It is time for the big surprise. In honor of the inspiration known as Takeshi's Castle; Team Talespin now has a chance to win one million dollars!
Ken: No way!
Vic: Yes way Ken....Our final event of MXC is called: _Operation Character Assasination_!
Ken: Sounds cool Vic! What's so special about it?
Vic: Well Kenny...Takeshi's Castle is very different from MXC as it is not a team event. Single competitiors try not to be painfully eliminated in various events such as the ones you have seen on MXC. The show ends with this tank battle between the contestents who have not been painfully eliminated and Count Takeshi's royal court. If they defeat the royal court in the tank battle, they win money.
Ken: No way!
Vic: Stop it Kenny!![Hits Kenny with his fan twice.] Now let's go to the Captain for the rules of _Operation Character Assasination_!
Ken: Nice creepy voice over there Vic!
Vic: Indeed...[We go to the top of the castle with the Captain.]
Captain: Thanks Vic!! Each team will have 15 characters inside 15 mini tanks. Each side has a captain and co-captain along with 13 pawns. Each tank will shoot lasers and hit the target to disable it. Each pawn can be disabled in one shot; with the co-captain being disabled in three shots and the captain requiring five shots to disable. Shots do not count if they hit their teams own tanks. There is a five minute time limit. If Team TaleSpin succesfully disables all the MXC tanks; TaleSpin wins one million dollars. If the time limit expires or the MXC Tanks disable the TaleSpin tanks; then TaleSpin gets nothing! Now; before we begin I would like to say that I'm happy that this show is being cancelled because it is vulgar and completely againest my moral values. I did this only for the money and you would too if you are a two-faced hypocritic! So; I say goodbye, good riddance, and for the last time: LET'S GET IT ON!! [Kit and Baloo are the co-captains for TaleSpin while Kenny and Vic are the captains. The mini tanks ride around in chaos and start shooting.]
Gregory: Hello; I'm Gregory Weagle, writer of the MXC World Cartoon Cup. I'll be your special commentator for this special final event to end the MXC series..[The tanks shoot their lasers wildly as they drive around trying to disable each other.]..We start with some varied chaos. Apparently; the early plan is to _shoot to disable_![Within one minute Kit, Baloo and two pawns remain while Kenny and Vic remain for the MXC squad.].. Tanks are being disabled fast. They can be used as hiding places or blockades. We're down to five tanks remain and TaleSpin with the advantage with four minutes remaining to work with.[ Kenny circles from behind and disables the two remaining pawns easily.] That was the smartest thing Kenny has ever done in his MXC career..and we're down to the non pawns...[Kit does a spin through quickly and shoots three times at Ken. Two of them hit and Kit tries to move out of the way. However; Vic shoots three times while driving in a line. All three shots hit Baloo and disable his tank.]...and Baloo's been disabled! It's two on one now...Oh! My Belly Buster Donair is here. Thank you!
Ken: [Kit is dodging Vic's fire.] DIE! Cloudkicker! DIE!...[Kit drives backwards and shoots about six times. Three shots manage to make contact on Kenny's tank and Ken is disabled. Two more shots nail Vic's tank.]...Crap! This tank blows!
Gregory: I didn't know Kenny spoke German..[Kit dances around Vic; but since Vic is a sharpshooter he manages to to get Kit down to one hit before being disabled.] Kit is in trouble now...Ah! Here's my donair dinner. Thank you. Kit needs to hit Vic three times if he wants to disable him..[Vic stays in one spot and shoots everyone as Kit is barely able to dodge the beams.] It looks like the miracle worker's luck has finally run...[Kit shoots wildly as he is dodging the gunfire and manages to nail Vic's tank twice.]....Maybe not. Kit and Vic are each down to one hit a piece..[Vic stops shooting and opens the portal of the tank.] Wait a minute! Vic is popping out of the tank...
Vic: Kit; stop!![Kit's tank stops and Kit pops out of the tank.] Are you good at gunslinging?
Kit: Yeah; I guess so.
Vic: Then let's end this with a shootout. Drive ten paces; turn and fire..All right?
Kit: All right...[Kit and Vic pop back into the tank.]
Gregory: So they are going to mimic the gunfight at the OK Corel...Why am I writing this stuff again?..[Kit and Vic slowly drive in a straight line in opposite directions.] 1...2...3..4..5...[Vic turns his turret around.]...6... I...7...think...8...[Kit turns his turret around.]...9...t..[Kit shoots right on the number and nails Vic's tank to win the million dollars.]..en! And Kit has done it! His quick reflexes were so quick that he fired right on the count of ten..[ They show the replay.] This'll teach Vic to jumpstart the shootout! Let's go back into the studio with Kenny Blankenship as Kit Cloudkicker has won _Operation: Character Assasination_! Catchy title....!
[Back to the studio as Ken is only around.]
Ken: I warned him not to have a one-on-one shootout with Kit. Vic's reflexes blow. HAHA![Vic enters the studio.]
Vic: [Sits down] I thought that I could out-smart a 12 year old kid and I was wrong. Anyhow; Talespin has just won a million dollars.
Ken: Great! Now Baloo can buy back the SeaDuck and leave Rebecca altogether. HAHA!
Vic: That's not going to happen. All the money is going to Disney and Iger. It's their product after all.
Ken: Going to a lazy CEO? That blows!!
Vic: Not to worry Ken; their money will go towards the marketing of TaleSpin on DVD which volume one comes out on August 29th.
Ken: Yeah whatever...I want to eat dinner at the Fudge Shack.
Vic: Of course Ken...I'm hungry too. So take us out for one last time Ken...
Ken: So what did the network say about getting our show renewed?!
ALL: FORGET ABOUT IT!![Everyone pumps their fists in the air.]
Vic: Butta-bing!![Vic shows a quarter as the screen freezes and the credits roll.]