Announcer: What are these animation characters running from? They're not...they are running too...the world's greatest show ever: Takeshi's Castle. Tonight; it's the World Animation Cup as the anime series Dragon Ball characters take on the characters from Innuyasha. It's the classic battle of feudal Japan againest Futile Fighters. And now...the two real stars of this show: Count Takeshi and his pet slave Somano....
[Back in the studio.]
Takeshi: Welcome to my castle. We have a special event lined up for today. It is the Animation World Cup quarterfinal as the characters from Dragon Ball againest the characters from Innuyasha.
Somano: And this boardcast is also been shown by MXC on Spike TV. Funny; Kenny Blankenship looks and almost sounds like me.
Takeshi: Well Vic Ramano does look like me too....However; we are the originals. We will always be better than MXC. We don't stoop to sex jokes and foul dialogue..and we don't have a hyper reporter either; so to prove that we don't we will go to Shingo..
Somano: The guy who loves to break bones and go fishing..
Takeshi: Indeed...(Geez, that didn't sound good...)
[We go to the field with Shingo.]
Shingo: Thank Count Takeshi. We have an exciting battle today as two japanese animation shows go head to head. Now I should point out that we will be running the show under MXC team rules and these characters will play in such games as Crushball; then it is Plank Bashers, then it's the game of Dry Balls and we end it with Log Jammers..The winner of this event will meet the winner of the TaleSpin/Bearstein Bears game on MXC next time. So now that I'm done, let's move to the referee and leader of rules: General Lee...
[We go to the forest with the Captain.]
General Lee: Welcome contestents to Takeshi's Castle. Are you ready to move on to the finals? Show of hands, now!
ALL: Yeah! [Everyone raises their hands in unison.]
{Team Dragon Ball- Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Goten, Bulma, Olong, Piccolo, Tyen, Chouzo, Frieza, Fat Boo, Cell, Nappa, Yamcha, Kurin. }
{Team Innuyasha- Innuyasha, Kygome, Shippo, Sango, Maroku, Neraku, Settshomaru, Jargon, Rinn, Kilala, Kikkyo, Kaede, Kagura, Yuka, Koga}
General Lee: Well; I'm glad to see that everyone is ready to play. But remember in order to ensure fairness and safety, there will be no weapons, no energy blasts and no international objects...
Innuyasha:You mean forgein objects you dope!
Kygome: Don't be such a jerk..Sit boy!![Innuyasha does a faceplant.]
Innuyasha: Wait a minute! I thought that necklace was illegal!
General Lee: Actually; that necklace couldn't be stopped by the Takeshi Castle barrier; so we have allowed it.
Maroku: Isn't that a demonic aura?
General Lee: [Gets into position.] Apparently technology is Satan..I don't like my future...LET'S GO![Everyone stands up and runs with the General to the first event.]
Takeshi: And we star with our first event: Crushball. Be the King of the Mountain...or else!
[Writer's Note: Crushball is Boulder Dash from MXC.]
General Lee: GET IT ON!
Takeshi: Oh dear; that didn't sound....Never mind! First up for Team Dragon Ball...
Boo: I'm Boo..I'l make you go bye-bye!
Takeshi: Here is Fat Boo; the lovable rubberman with a killer streak. He turns people into tasty treats...[ Fat Boo goes up the mountain slowly bouncing the ground happily. The boulders fall down and smash into Boo's midsection. Boo thinks his rubber belly will deflect them. However; the rocks force Boo down and he flops down the hill.] Well...that was a short run...and fall.
Somano: [They show the replay.] If you look closely..when he bounces down the hill onew of the boulders bounces off his head...like that.
Takeshi: Right you are Somano...Nice call..for a slave.
Somano: Thank you..[Back to the action]
Yuka: I don't knw what I'm doing..
Takeshi: Here is Yuka...one of Kygome's real world friends.[Yuka is wearing typical genric American clothes instead of the sailor uniform that she normally wears.]
Somano: Why is she wearing American clothes Count?[Yuka runs up the hill as the stones are crashing down the hill. Yuka hides into the corner as the first stone rolls by. Yuka continues to the second slit.]
Takeshi: From what I've been told the dubber thought the sailor look was too weird for the US public...[Yuka tries to make it to the second slit; but the falling rock blocks it. Yuka screams and tries to back up; but the rock crushes her as collides into the stone.] Oh my...
Somano: I hope she's wearing a dark dress...because that's the Takeshi Painful Replay...[They show the replay.] I always love to see young girls get crushed by granite stones....Squish Squish...
Takeshi: I'm sure you do Somano...and that's proof that you aren't Kenny Blankenship.. Next up for Dragon Ball is Yamcha..We had a chance to talk to him about what he thought about all these rules....[We go to the field with Yamcha.]
Yamcha: Hey with all these rules around I might actually have a chance...or not..[ Back to the action]
Takeshi: Oh I don't know about that...[Yamcha goes up the hill quickly and make it to the second slit already before the first stone reaches him.] Wow...
Somano: Are you sure that the rules are being followed Count?[The first stone goes past Yamcha without incident. Yamcha makes it up the top of the hill easily for the point.]
Takeshi: Yamcha has made it up and Dragon Ball strikes first...without any trouble I might add..
Somano: Kind of like most evil fighter in the show.
Takeshi: Indeed....Great; now I sound like Vic Ramano...
Kadede: Ye is silly enough to do ye.
Takeshi: Here is ole priestess Kadede who took over for Lady Kikyo when she died fifty years ago...[Kadede runs slowly up towards the first slit as the stones fall down quickly. Kadede tries to get into the slit; but stone crushes her and she flops onto the ground.] Oh my...
Samano: Count...She's dead.
Takeshi: Let's go to Shingo and find out more...[We go to the forest with Shingo, Innuyasha and Kadede. Kadede is lying on the ground appearing dead as Innuyasha is digging a shallow grave for her burial.]
Shingo: Shingo here as I'm watching Lady Kadede get an honorable burial.
Innuyasha: [Stops digging.] Well you old hag...I never thought that you were useful...[Innuyasha grabs Kadede and places her gently into the grave.] ...Well you always did have a flair for the dramatic. I just hope that you sleep well... [Innuyasha places moss on Kadede's body until only her head is shown.] Now that I got this finished off; it's time to destroy my competition...[Innuyasha leaves.]
Kadede: [Opens her eyes.] I'm not dead yet..
Shingo: Umm...Back to you Count Takeshi...[Back to the action]
Olong: Rats...I can't shapeshift..
General Lee: Not my problem porklips!
Takeshi: Last up for Dragon Ball is Olong; the shape-shifting perverted pig..
Somano: UGH! I'm having flashbacks of watching MXC...[Olong runs up to the first slit as the stone fall down towards him. Olong barely gets into the safety slit in time as the stone passes him.]Olong's having a respectable showing here...[Olong gets out of the slit not realizing that a second stone is coming straight for him. Olong screams and tries to return to the safety slit; but is crushed by the stone.]...and there's the respectable splat!
Takeshi: Good call there pet slave. That was a _splat_ for the ages...and last up for Innuyasha..
Settshomaru: If you don't win Jargon...I'll have to kill you.
Takeshi: Here is Innuyasha's tweener brother Settshomaru..and he seems to be in the...[Settshomaru runs so fast that he makes it to the top of the hill for the point before a single stone can even be thrown.]...proper mood. So thanks to the weakling Yamcha and the sadistic brother of Innuyasha; both teams are at 1-1.
Somano: And Jargon's in trouble...
Takeshi: Of course he is my pet slave...
Announcer: Coming up next...It's the double-team spank with Plank Bashers..
[Commerical Break.]
Announcer: And we're back with round two of the Takeshi's Castle World Animation Cup as Team Dragon Ball takes on Team Innuyasha...
[Back into the studio as Somano is strapped to a wheel as Takeshi is beside it. There are fan on every corner.]
Somano: What is the meaning of this?
Takeshi: Well my pet slave; this wheel is a symbolic indication of our next event which involves two partners trying not to be painfully eliminated...and they will be...[Takeshi spins the wheel hard and Somano spins around getting nailed by the fans.]
Somano: Ow! What kind of sadistic torture is this? This is no way...OUCH! to treat a pet slave...OW.....!
Takeshi: Maybe so...but it's a funny one..and it's time for Plank Bashers! Cross the planks in sync....or you will sink...Right pet slave?
Somano: Uh...yeah...OW! I really don't love you now..!
Takeshi: I can't see why...I'm a love machine!
Somano: You wish....Ow!
{Plank Bashers- In between two platforms there are 20 planks lined up parallel to each other an connected like a see-saw. The couple must run across while staying in perfect sync. because if not; the plank will likely bash them in the face. The couple wins if they both make it to the other side: right to left. The couple loses if one or both members of the couple falls into the water.}
General Lee: GET IT ON!
Maroku: Our life is loveless without you!
Songo: You're a pervert!
Takeshi:Our first couple for Team Innuyasha is Maroku and Songo. I see Songo is having some problems with her team mate right off the back.
Somano: Maybe Songo doesn't like to be jerked around by love machines....OW!
Takeshi: I'm wallowing in dispair...[Maroku and Songo walk side by side in sync. on the planks. However; Songo walks too quickly on the fourteenth plank just as one of Maroku's hand was to make contact with her body and it smacks Maroku in the face. Maroku falls into the water with Songo close behind.]...and the perv is out of step right there. What a shame?! Rrrr...
Somano: [They show the replay.] That gives new meaning to the phrase: _Smackdown_!
Takeshi: Oh great! I can hear the lawyers on the phone as we speak...and our first show back too! First up for Dragon Ball is Bulma and Vegeta. General Lee recently caught up with this firecracker of a couple...[We go to the field with General Lee with Vegeta and Bulma as Vegeta's arms are folded and his back is turned from Bulma.]
General Lee: General Lee here and we have a dispute in progress...
Bulma: Come on Vegeta; my power hungry hero...
Vegeta: Not without my powers...I hate getting wet!
Bulma: What kind of coward are you? Being soooo afraid of water and all my snugglepuss...
Vegeta: All right! I'll do it!..[Looks straight at General Lee's eyes.] I...hate...you!
General Lee: Only a coward would hate me you violent monkey..
Vegeta: I am not a monkey...I'm a Saiyen...[Vegeta storms off]
Bulma: Wait for me honeylips...[Bulma follows Vegeta.]
General Lee: Someone get a better dubber...Back to you Count Takeshi![Back to the action]
Takeshi: Well that was an interesting exchange...[Vegeta and Bulma run together in sync across the planks. They get to the other side easily for the point.].. and that was perfect syncing my pet slave...
Bulma: See...I told you we could do it..[Vegeta folds his arms and looks annoyed as he doesn't care.] We didn't even have to break the rules! Give me a hug butterball..![Bulma jumps on top of Vegeta.]
Vegeta: Wha..?![Vegeta staggers back and they both fall into the water.]
Somano: Wow...That's one hyper..OUCH!...wife...
Takeshi: Safe to say that this is the Takeshi Painful Replay...[They show the replay.]
Somano: I bet Vegeta wishes he was a veggie after that embrace...UGH! OUCH!!
Takeshi: I couldn't have said that any better myself Somano..You are officially one step above Kenny Blankenship.
Somano: Thank you...I think..OW!
Takeshi: Last couple for team Innuyasha is Innuyasha and Kygome. Our reporter Shingo caught up with the couple earlier in the day on their unique training...[We go to the field with Shingo, Kygome and Innuyasha. Innuyasha is doing massive faceplants on the ground taking a plank to the face each time.]
Kygome: [Repeatly] Sit boy! Sit boy!!
Shingo: I'm here with the hottest couple in anime...and I see that this is the _unique_ training...
Kygome: Training? I'm teaching this jerk that if we don't stay in sync. this will happen!
Innuyasha: Yeah right?! I thought it was because I almost pounded that bloody wolf demon into...
Kygome: Sit boy!![Innuyasha does another faceplant.] I am not in love with Koga you jerks!
Shingo: [Laughing] I love this...Back to you Count![Back to the action]
Somano: I'll never think of girls the same way again...OW!
Takeshi: You are now two steps above Kenny now my pet slave...[Innuyasha and Kygome run perfectly in sync. and they do make it to the other side for the easy point.] ...and they have done it!![Kygome jumps up and down with glee as Innuyasha shows nothing but disdain.]
Innuyasha: Hmph! We haven't won yet![Kygome stops cheering and looks at Innuyasha's disdain. Kygome is angry.]
Kygome: Sit boy!![Innuyasha does a faceplant so hard that he bounces into the water.]
Somano: Now that's a dumping...OW!
Takeshi: Nevertheless; the couple has tied the score at 2-2. Can our last couple break that tie?!
Gohan/Piccolo: Yeah! We are the Z-Fighters!
Takeshi: Here are two of the best Z Fighters in the world: The son of Goku and the demon king...[Gohan and Piccolo try to stay in sync. ; but Gohan falls into the water when he trips on the sixth plank while Piccolo manages to make it to the other side anyway.]..Let's see that again...
Somano: [They show the replay] Now I know why Goku saves the day all the time...Ow! Right there...
Takeshi: And that was good acting on your part my pet slave...So after two rounds of punishing spanking..We are at a draw 2-2...
Somano: I'm not acting...OUCH!
Announcer: Coming up next on Takeshi's Castle..Watch out for those Dry Balls... If you have cold sores!
[Commerical Break]
Announcer: And we're back with round three of our special World Animation Cup...now I'm a notch better than our humble MXC announcer... [Back to the studio as Somano is upside down on the wheel as it has stopped.]
Somano: Whew it stopped! This is a sight of relief for me.
Takeshi: Indeed my pet slave...and this gives us time to talk about what Takeshi's Castle is about and the difference between us and MXC.
Somano: Yeah; I know that we don't use teams of 15 or so competitors.
Takeshi: [Hits Somano with his fan.] That's right my pet slave...We also run an hour instead of an half hour...Plus the contestent are eliminated from the actual competition altogether when they lose...Plus you don't talk about silly things like pizza, beer and chicks while I don't talk about how I'm going to hit you with my fan..[Hits Somano with his fan.]..I just do..
Somano: Plus we don't redo spots and do Dusty finishes either...
Takeshi: Indeed...Plus we do something at the end that is awesome..but that is our little secret...
Somano: You mean the laser t...[Takeshi nails Somano with his fan.] OUCH!! Okay.,..it's nothing...really..It's our little secret...
Takeshi: Good pet slave...[Hits Somano with his fan again.] Time now for round three of our competition: Dry Balls. Catch the ball with your hands; or risk catching it with your face.
General Lee: GET IT ON!
[Writer's Note: Dry Balls is like Muddy Balls without the mud field. It is played on concreate.]
Nappa: I love to be dewormed!
Takeshi: First up for Dragon Ball is the ultra bad guy Saiyen Nappa. He was destroying the Z Fighters until Goku showed up and got killed by Vegeta..[The cannon shoots the ball into the air. Nappa runs around to catch it. However; he mistimes it and it bounces off his head and onto the ground.] Well; that was different..[Nappa boots the ball away.]...Well you can tell that he's a bad guy.
Somano: [They show the replay.] Absolute poor sportsmenship..Right there..
Takeshi: Indeed my pet slave...I hate it when MXC does perfect translation on certain phrases..[Back to the action]...First up for Innuyasha...
Shippo: Foxfire!!
Takeshi: Here is the young fox demon with spinning top abilities: Shippo...
Somano: [The ball is shot into the air and Shippo scrambles around.] I hear that he's Innuyasha's whipping boy as well...[The ball weans down as Shippo is confused where to catch the ball. The ball bounces off Shippo's head and onto the ground. Shippo starts crying a river.] Oh boy..[Back to the studio.] No wonder Innuyasha acts like a jerk..It's a million times better than Shippo acting like a little baby and... [Takeshi nail Somano with his fan.] OW! What did you do that for?!
Takeshi: Just because I give you the freedom to speak doesn't mean that you can act like Kenny Blankenship. You must be your own man my pet slave...
Somano: Now you're sounding like Vicky...HEHE!
Takeshi: [Hits Somano with his fan.] Leave Vic Romano out of this...
Somano: HAHA! You are silly...
Takeshi: Let's get back to the action..[Back to the action.] Next up for Dragon Ball...
Tyen: My sight is foulproof!!
Takeshi: Here is the three eyed wonder Tyen. He used to be trained by an evil Sensai before he saw the light and joined the Z-Fighters..[The cannon shoots the ball into the air. Tyen scrambles to get into position. However; he uses his third eye to actually catch the ball and the ball smack him into Tyen's third eye forcing him to cover his eyes.]Oh! That was painful!
Somano: [They show the replay.] Then why did he try to catch it with his eye? Why not use his hands?!
Takeshi: Well my pet slave there are reasons why Goku is always used to save the day. That is one of them..[Back to the action.]
Jargon: I must win!
Takeshi: Next up for Innuyasha is the frog demon Jargon...
Somano: The man with both a death staff and a death wish..[The ball is shot out of the cannon and into the air. Jargon scrambles around.]
Takeshi: You might be right there my pet slave and...[The ball lands hard on Jargon's face and bounces off to the ground violently. Jargon lies on the ground motionless.] Oh my...[Back to the studio as Somano's eyes bug out.].. and that calls for the Takeshi Painful Replay...[They show the replay.]
Somano: I guess this will be the last time that we see him.
Takeshi: Too bad that he's going to..Ah never mind...Even I'm not going to stoop that low...[Back to the action.]
Kurin: I need more hair!
Takeshi: Next up for Dragon Ball is the cueball midget of the Z-Fighters Kurin...[The ball is shot out of the cannon into the air.]
Somano: So if he score a point; he gets more hair...That's weird.
Takeshi: He should ask for lifts if he wants to be a real fighter my pet slave...[Kurin gets under the ball and catches it perfectly for the point.] ...and he will get more hair as he's done it...[They show the replay.]
Somano: Finally; a Z-Fighter that didn't mess up...
Takeshi: Too bad he needs real training to w...Forget it! MXC is now officially rubbing off of me...The wrong way![Back to the action]
Kagura: You think you have it bad Jargon!
Takeshi: Okay; our next contestent is the wind witch Kagura. She seems to be in more trouble with Neraku than Jargon was with Settshomaru...[The ball shoot out of the cannon into the air.]
Somano: Too bad she can't use her feathership...That would be interesting.
Takeshi: Now that's witty my pet slave..[Kagura get so confuses that she misses the ball by ten feet. The ball hits the ground.] She must be inepted without that feathership..[They show the replay.]
Somano: I guess Kagura is joining Jargon now eh Count?!
Takeshi: I fear Kagura will return to us in a very different state of mind or worse than Jargon's fate my pet slave...and last up for Dragon Ball...[Back to the action]
Frieza: This is a waste of time..[The ball is shot into the air from a cannon.]
Takeshi: Here is one of Goku's murderist villians; the evil Frieza!
Somano: So he's really a _freezer_. That's just gross!
Takeshi: [Frieza simply walks away as the ball hits the ground.]..What was that?
Somano: [They show the replay.] Freezers always act this way. Everything is beneath them...
Takeshi: That makes more sense than those internet gamers who talk about W...Is Kenny Blankenship scripting my lines? STOP IT NOW!! Good...and last up for Innuyasha... [Back to the action]
Rinn: I'll show you how it's done Jargon!
Takeshi: Here is Rinn; a six year old girl who wonders around with Settshomaru after her village was destroyed...
Somano: [The ball is shot out of the cannon and into the air.] This is going to be ugly...[Rinn jumps up and catches the ball perfectly in her hands. She falls hard on her back; but hangs on for the point.]...and she's done it! [They show the replay.]
Takeshi: That was perfect dry ball action there my pet slave. All the way. So after three rounds we once again end in a tie: 3-3...and stop snickering you losers!
Announcer: Our last round is next and it's a log jam good time...Maybe I'm not much better than the MXC announcer...
[Commerical Break]
Announcer: And we're back with the final round between Dragon Ball and Innuyasha. Who'll be _left behind_?! [Back in the studio.]
Takeshi: [Hits Samano with his fan.] Now my pet slave; you will not be like Kenny Blankenship...Repeat after me: I will not be like Kenny Blankenship.. [Repeats after Samano responds in kind.]
Samano: I will not be like Kenny Blankenship..[Repeats in kind.]
Takeshi: Good pet slave...
Samano: Good pet slave...
Takeshi: What are you doing?
Samano: What are you doing?
Takeshi: Stop repeating me!
Samano: Stop repeating me!
Takeshi: Curses!
Somano: Curses!
Takeshi: I'm an idiot![Hits Samano with his fan.]
Samano: I'm an...[Tries to hit Takeshi; but he's got no fan.] Okay...I give up.
Takeshi: Time now for our final competition event: Log Jammers. Roll to the victory or you'll be a stick in the mud.
[Writer's Note: Log Jammers is Runaway Stump in MXC.]
General Lee: GET IT ON!
Kikkyo: Hmmmm....
Takeshi: First up for Innuyasha is the dead priestness Kikkyo who thought that Innuyasha killeds her instead of the demon Neraku...[Kikkyo rolls the log slowly across the frame.] Seems to be taking her time...[Kikkyo's log starts rolling faster as it goes down the incline.]
Samano: Oh Oh...She's losing it..[The log's speed is too much and Kikkyo slips off the log and into the water.]...Even in death she cannot win anyone's love.
Takeshin: That was actually a good analysis there my pet slave...Good job... First up for Dragon Ball is the evil Cell. We had a chance to talk to him about what he would do after this event was over. He wasn't at a loss for words either...[We go to the field with Cell.]
Cell: When this is over I'm going to blow up this planet for taking my powers away. Now die foolish man![Back to the action.]
Takeshi: I am so scared now...[Cell starts to roll the log across the frame.] He seems to be in his groove right now. I don't see why he's upset over... [Cell suddenly sees multiple Goku's around the pond. Cell is taken back and back flops into the water.]...and now I see why...That is a shame...
Kilala: Meow..
Takeshi: Next up for Innuyasha is the firecat of Songo; Kilala..[Kilala tries to roll; but slips and hits her chin on the log before falling into the water.] Oh my...
Samano: I believe that is the Takeshi Painful Replay...[They show the replay.] Lala just went sploosh, sploosh into the pond. Right Count?!
Takeshi: Of course my pet slave...Next up for Dragon Ball...
Chouzo: Don't be scared please?
Takeshi: Here is the powerful midget of Dragon Ball Chouzo who is friends with the three-eye wonder Tyen...[Chouzo tries to roll but slips and smashes his face againest the log before falling into the water.] Oh...ummm...
Samano: Now that's a replay!
Takeshi: Right you are my pet slave...I need to get the taste out of my mouth... Next up for Innuyasha is Neraku; the evil demon who wants to do nasty things to Fedual Japan.... [Neraku rolls across the log quickly.] He seems slient and quick on his feet...
Samano: The faster you roll; the faster you fall into the drink.
Takeshi: [Neraku rolls down the incline and easily jumps onto the platform for the point.]..or the faster that he does it! So Innuyasha takes the lead; can Dragonball tie the score?!
Goku: Kamehame-HA!
Takeshi: Here is the leader of the Z-Fighters Goku; the most powerful warrior around reality...[Goku rolls the log across the frame quickly and makes a huge leap jump halfway between the platforms towards the left platform. He easily lands on the platform for the point.]...and that was an effortless win...Just like most of the henchmen that he has to face...[They show the replay.]
Samano: Now this is why Goku always wins. That is perfect log jamming!
Takeshi: Of course it is my pet slave...Last up for Innuyasha...
Koga: I'll kill that mutt!
Takeshi: Here is the leader of the demon wolf tribe Koga who is involved in a love triangle with Kygome and Innuyasha...[Koga starts rolling the log easily and without any trouble.]...Another quick roller here...
Samano: He's rolling....like the wind....
Takeshi: [Koga rolls down the incline and jumps onto the other platform for the point.] ...and rolls for the win! So it's down to our last competitor...
Goten: I've got it...HA!
Takeshi: Here is Goten; the young son of the legendary Z-Fighter Goku...Can he make it?[Goten tries to roll forward; but he slips and rolls backward and falls into the water.]..and he cannot....[They show the replay.]
Samano: He's went from Goten to Gobig to Gohome.
Takeshi: Good witty joke to end this competition as Innuyasha goes to the World Cartoon Cup Final with a 4-3 win. [Back into the studio.] That was an excellent competition my pet slave.
Somano: Pet slave? Have you been drinking again Vic?
Vic: I'm not drinking Somano!
Ken: HAHA! I'm Kenny Blankenship and I think Takeshi's Castle blows HAHA!
Vic: Now come on you little monkey...[Hits Kenny with his fan.] Without Takeshi's Castle we could never have created MXC...
Ken: Yeah whatever....It was a great competition ruined by bad commentary.
Vic: Wow...that was actually insightful comm....[Kenny laughs hard.]> Kenny?!
Ken: HAHA! There is only one good thing about Takeshi's Castle and that's...
Vic: Kenny Blankenship's Painful Elinimations of the Day!
[They show footage from the event.]
Ken: We start the carnage at Number Ten as the pet slave meet's the Count's _fanbase_. He doesn't have a _fan_ in the world. HAHA!... At number nine it's Fat Boo who finds out that Boulder Dash is a _crushing_ good time. Actually; I like Crushball better...At number eight; it's the combination of Bulma and Vegeta, who make it look easy and then go down even easier. Check out the mean look on General Lee...Wooo...At number seven; it's Tyen who's third rate eye became the perfect first rate blind spot. Time to see a Zye Doctor Tyeye!...At number six; it's Shippo who does me proud by executing a perfect river to cry from. Now that acting like a loser!....At number five; it's Chouzo, who better hope that his new profession is fighting mime after that run. OUCH! There's one way to zip a lip....At number four; it's Kilala who thought that last spot was nice so she did it twice. Time to cal those copycat lawyers Chou. HAHA!....At number three; it's Yuka who finds out why Kygome does all the _dirty_ work..OUCH! She better hope that she didn't wet her pants on that boulder. It cost eight thousand dollars to clean up... At number two; it's Jargon who's next appearance will be inside his master's wood shed. Please send your flowers to Rinn afterwards; she needs a sniff...And my most painful elimination goes to: Innuyasha who sjows just how funny it is to bump your chin..You have to turely love Kygome to take all those bumps...Ooo she's a dirty girl..She needs to be washed and spanked!
Vic: Kenny![Back to the studio as Captain Tanmeal shows up.] What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on break...
Captain: I just came down to lend my support to Kenny Blankenship in that Takeshi's Castle does blow goats. Somano sounds like a senile old man and General Lee defiles me. He's supposed to say after a question: Well you're wrong and...
Ken: Okay whatever....There is only one thing to say...
ALL: TAKESHI'S CASTLE BLOWS!![Everyone pumps their fists in the air.]
Kenny: Of course you soon to be pet slave...[The screen freezes as the credits roll.]
Vegeta: I...hate...you!