Announcer: What are these cartoon characters running from? They're not...they are running too...the world's greatest show in town: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. Tonight; it's the semi final of the Cartoon World Cup as Team TaleSpin takes on Team Bearstein Bears. It's the classic battle of bears lving in a tree againest bear living on the edge...and now two guys who live in a slum: Kenny Blankenhip and Vic Ramano...

[Back in the studio.]

Vic: Hello everyone; we have the ultimate mixed-up matchup as the Bearstein Bears take on..[Kenny is holding his head in pain.]..TaleSpin. Kenny?! What are you doing?[Hits Kenny with his fan.] Stay focused now!

Ken: How can I stay foucsed Vic?! Those dreadful Nelvana characters are back...

Vic: Oh come on Ken...Why are the Bearstein Bears so dreadful?!

Ken: Don't you get it Vic?! They have those goofy smiles as if they are the Village People. The bullies are like girls and the adults sound like five year olds...

Vic: Now Kenny...You don't really understand how television works...Nor do you understand children. In a world of chaos, destruction, terror and death, seeing a show about smiling and happiness is the only place children can experience that although the smiles are contrived and forced like Barney...

Ken: Barney?! Barney has a true smile and a good sense of humor around Fred Flintstone..

Vic: That's Barney Rubble..I meant Barney The Purple Dinosaur..

Ken: Oh; that show sucked.

Vic: And why not?! The world is so sad if they ever took advice from a little monkey like you![Hits Kenny with his fan.] Let's go to Guy...

[We go to the field with Guy.]

Guy: Thank you boy...Today; I'll be planting the seeds for my new children's television program: Bushing LaDouce. I smell the ratings from here and they appear to going down. Let me check...! HOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHA! Meanwhile; we start this semi-final with Yank My Dingy! Then we continue with Sperm Whalers, followed by Eat Shi-take and then we finish with the painful Log Drop. I think that I'm going to be cancelled right now; so let's go to the skipper....HAHAHAHAHOHOHOHO!

[We go to the forest with the Captain.]

Captain: That's one show I got to see. Anyway; how many of you think that shows like Barney and Teletubbies are helpful for the well being of children under six years old? Show of hands, now!

ALL: YEAH! [Everyone raises their hands in unison.]

{Team TaleSpin- Kit Cloudkicker, Baloo, Rebecca Cunningham, WildCat, Don Karnage, Shere Khan, Colonel Spigot, Sgt. Dunder, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Molly Cunningham, Oscar Vandersnoot, Ernie, Bobbo, Professor Buzz. }

{Team Bearstein Bears- Poppa Q Bear, Mama Bear, Brother Bear, Sister Bear, Two Tall, Farmer Ben, Cousin Freddy, Mayor Honeypot, Lizzy Bruin, Gran, Skuzz, Big Paw, Ruffish Ralph, Frudy Factual, Cub. }

Captain: Well; you're all wrong!! I cannot believe you would see this garbage! Teletubbies is a show that rots your brain, invokes indecent baby talk and encourages people to come up with lame joke when they watch it for their bad movies enjoyment. Barney is no better as it encourages contrived smiling, bad manners, stealing and after hours drinking..

Kit: That telling them Captain.

Mama Bear: You're missing the point here.

Captain: Oh...Dare to enlighten me SmurfBear?!

Mama Bear: Children are innocent ceatures who absorb the world as they see it and hear it. It doesn't matter if Barney's smile is forced as you would say. In a world where kids suffer through the day in the real world where bad news always happen, these children shows are there to make them happy.

Captain: Oh I get the point. That's the leftist way of thinking: Force kids to watch a purple dinosaur who's smile would cause a normal person to crack his head open in the hopes that children will be happy. Here's some advice SmurfBear: Stop lying to your children! The real world is a nice place once you stop watching the news and go outside for a change....[The Captain gets into position.]

Mama: Typical right wing thinking...Always take it out on the children.

Kit: No wonder I don't like adults..

Captain: I smell cooked mother in your future...LET'S GO!!

Mama: Actually; Teletubbies isn't that good anyway...[Everyone gets up and runs with the Captain towards the first event.]

Ken: Did Mama Bear just flip-flop?!

Vic: Good observation there Ken...There is nothing worse than being hypocritical...

Ken: Yeah...whatever that means.

Vic: Okay...We start off with our first event: Yank My Dingy! Surf on the ride off Satan's ramp or tugged in the undertow. Where does all this water come from Ken?

Ken: That's holy water from the Chruch of Bear County Saints.

Vic: I didn't know Bear County had a chruch...

Ken: Actually; it's from the 1985 American show made by the cheap Hanna.

Vic: Good to know Ken...

Big Paw: Peace Bears!!

Vic: Here is the native of Bear County Big Paw...You remember him don't you Ken....[The boat carries Big Paw across the water.]

Ken: Yeah; we were both smoking the peace pipe behind Nelvana's back...[Big Paw passes the platoons.]

Vic: That was pretty cancerous wouldn't you say...?[Big Paw starts coughing as he jumps Satan's Ramp. He lets go of the rope and falls into the water.]...Oh! And Big Paw just got smoked on Satan's Ramp. What a shame?! First up for TaleSpin...

Ernie: Oscar's a big fat zero!!

Vic: Here is Ernie; the co-leader of the Jungle Aces...[The boat quickly carries Ernie in tow across the water.]

Vic: Indeed Ken...Ernie is _fin_-ished...Get it?! Of course you don't...Next up for the Bearstein Bears is Cub. We had a chance to talk to him about his role in the Bearstein Bears television show...[We go to the field with Cub.]

Cub: My role in the show is...Umm....umm...let me think...[Back to the action.]

Ken: I know what it is...[Cub is whisked away by the boat. The boat is going way too fast and Cub flies off Satan's Ramp and does a backflip and nails the side of his head on the back of Satan's Ramp as he falls into the water.]...oh God! That was painful...

Vic: That for sure call for the MXC Impact Replay...[They show the replay.] Cub goes from the bullet-train into the neckbreaker and he's going to need medical attention.

Ken: Well he can always smoke the pipe with Big Paw.

Vic: Kenny!![Back to the action]

Dumptruck: Okay Mad Dog...I'll go weeeeeee...!

Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is Dumptruck; the pirate who's skull is solid bone....[The boat moves and Dumptruck follows. However; Dumptruck is so heavy that the boat goes really slow.] Oh!

Ken: This is another blistering run! I don't know if he can keep up with..[ Dumptruck goes over Satan's Ramp without trouble; but he is weighed down so much that he goes upside down into the water and is forced to let go.]..that! He is waterlogged.. [They show the replay.]

Vic: Right you are Ken...That solid bone skull assured that he would sink like a bone..Heh, Heh...[Back to the action.]

Frudy: I'm going to go all the way!

Vic: Next up for the Bearstein Bears is Frudy Factual and I still don't know who he is...[Frudy is towed quickly across the platoons.]

Ken: Get use to it as they say...[Frudy passes over Satan's Ramp without any trouble and Frudy stands up.] He might just go all the way...

Vic: [Frudy tries to jump; but he mistimes it and falls into the water just a foot short of the platform's edge.]...and just short. Close but no factuals... Next up for TaleSpin...

Oscar: GO ACES!!

Vic: Here is the timid friend of Kit Cloudkicker Oscar Vandersnoot. Oh dear; he's wearing that cumbersome armor his mother always dresses him in. This is going to be brutal...[The boat tows Oscar Vandersnoot quickly across the water.]

Ken: This is going to be great...[Oscar passes the platoons and over Satan's Ramp without any problems.]...accident prone...[Oscar stand up awkwardly and jumps. He manages to get on the platform landing on his can for the point.] ...and he did it![They show the replay.]

Vic: He made it without a hitch. Unbelivable! TaleSpin strikes first on this one...Can the Bearstein Bears catch up?[Back to the action.]

Ralph: I don't know what I'm doing...

Vic: Last up for the Bearstein Bears is Ralph and I still don't know who he is...[Ralph forgets to hold on while the motorboat is moving and he falls into the water.]....and I never will..What a shame?! And last up for TaleSpin...

Professor Buzz: I love this...

Vic: Here is the sciencist from Khan Industries Professor Buzz...[The motor boat carries Buzz in tow across the water.]

Ken: I hear that his new invention will allow people to play with the radio with pictures...called a video game...[Buzz goes past the platoons.]

Vic: [Buzz goes over Satan's Ramp without any problems.] Ken..This is 2006..I just want you to know that...[Buzz stands up and jumps onto the platform. He gets on it perfectly for the point.]...and Buzz just keeps on buzzing... So thanks to the padded armor of Oscar Vandersnoot and the buzz of Buzz; the TaleSpin team takes a strangle-hold of this competition 2-0...[Back to the studio.].. So can the Bearstein Bears come back or are they as dead as a one hit wonder?!

Announcer: Coming up next; it's time to ride sperm with Sperm Whalers. Practice absentiance Chumbuckets...!!

[Commerical Break.]

Announcer: And we are back as the alienrons take on the mirrorons. Whatever that means?!

[Back into the studio as Kenny is nowhere in sight.]

Vic: We are back as Talespin has taken a 2-0 lead...Kenny?![looks around and doesn't see him.]..Kenny!!

Ken: [voice] Yeah Vic?!

Vic: Where are you?! Come back here Kenny?! We have a show to do...

Ken: In a minute Vic...[Ken enters a dressing room.] It's time for me to give the creators from Nelvana studios a piece of my mind for ruining cartoons.

Vic: Now Kenny...I wouldn't criticize them if I were you...

Ken: Hey you Nelvana losers! You're killing children's childhood with your crud..[Various men come out of their hiding spots and start shooting at Kenny. The camera returns to the studio.] OUCH! You crazy wrenches!!

Vic: As I always say...Hypocriticalness can be a fickle mistress...[ Kenny re-enters with smoke and torn clothes.]

Ken: Yeah whatever...Let's just go to the next event..[Sits down] OWW!

Vic: Time now for our next event: Sperm Whalers. Ride whale to the finish; or face a total Jonahification by our two norwegin assasins..

Captain: LET'S GET IT ON!

Mad Dog: Help! I'm being eaten by a whale!

Vic: First up for TaleSpin is the masel whiner Air Pirate who saw a picture of a school once Mad Dog...[Mad Dog rides the whalebike on the track across the S-curve as the assasins shoot at Mad Dog.] Looking good so far..

Ken: I think he's just riding to get away from the whale..[Mad Dog gets hit by a shot from the assasins and he falls out of the whale and into the pond head first.]...right there.

Vic: Right you are Ken...and Mad Dog's ride is shorter than his whine... What a shame?!

Skuzz: Skuzza-Mania is running wild!!

Vic: First up for the Bearstein Bears is yet another guy I don't know..

Ken: He looks better in that whale..[Skuzz rides the whalebike; but he rides the wrong way and falls off course and onto the ground.]..and he looks even better on the ground..

Vic: Indeed...The prone position was always your favorite position Ken.. Heh, Heh...Okay; next up for TaleSpin...

Bobbo: I hope they don't ration the roast beef dinners..

Vic: Here is the plump Thembrian ice shaver in training Bobbo...[ Bobbo rides the whalebike on the course; curving around as the assasins shoot at him.] He seems to be having trouble with the whalebike..[Bobbo gets hit with a stray shot and the bike slides to the ground.] Oh!...That was pretty short..

Ken: Shorter than his attention span...Check please.

Vic: Indeed...Next up for the Bearstein Bears..

Gran: How does this work?

Vic: Here is Grab Bear, the mother of which Bearstein Bear, I don't know... [Gran attempts to ride the whalebike; but she drives off course, pops out of the whalehole and does a forward roll, nearly breaking her neck in the process.] Oh God!!

Ken: That calls for the MXC Impact Replay..[They show the replay] She zigs when she should have zagged, bump off course, does a perfect Jonahification and ends it with the boneneck cracker..Right there..!

Vic: Right you are Ken...and I think Nelvana is going to do more than shoot at you for that stunt..[Back to the action.]

Molly: Does this whale make me look fat?

Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is the spunky daughter of Rebecca Cunningham; Molly Cunningham...[Molly drives the whalebike across the course quickly as the assasins shoot at her.]...She's actually having good luck with the whale..

Ken: Hey; she's cheating! She's using a tri-cycle to win here...[Molly manages to drive around the hairpin and drives past the whale shower without any problem.]..Cheater!!

Vic: What difference does it make Ken?...[Molly goes up the seesaw hill and drives around the corner. Molly makes it to the finish line for the point.].. and it's all moot now because she has done it! Let's go to Guy and talk to her right now.. [We go to the field with Guy and Molly.]

Guy: Guy here with the latest winner: Molly Cunningham...and you can't hurt me! HOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHA! I'm wearing shin gurds and a cup on my nuts. I'll teach you to hurt me..[Guy kneels down and pulls off one of Molly's blue ribbons.] How do you like that? HOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA!

Molly: You're still a creepface![Molly kicks Guy right in the nose and runs off.]

Guy: [Holding his nose] OUCH! You hurt Guy again!!! Ooooo...Guy like! [Back to the action.]

Vic: Top notch reporting as usual Guy!

Lizzy: Bearbie rocks!!

Vic: Next up for the Bearstein Bears is Lizzy Bruin; the adorable fan of Bearbie...[Lizzy rides the whalebike on the course; but get caught in the S-curves. The assasins hit her with balls and Lizzy goes down.] What the? Didn't anyone learn anything from the last event involving these characters? [ Back to the studio.]

Ken: HAHA! Nelvana can't sue Vic! They actually signed the release forms this time...Why are you the last person to know these things?

Vic: You missed the entire point you little monkey!![Hits Kenny with his fan.] Which is...um...um...[Back to the action] I'll get back to you in a moment.

Sgt. Dunder: Please don't let me get shot...

Vic: Last up for TaleSpin is the bumbling obese Thembrian Sgt. Dunder..[ Dunder rides the whalebike across the course as the assasins are shooting at him.]

Ken: He's trying way too hard not to get shot...[Dunder gingerly gets past the S-curve; but as he dodges a ball, he veers off course and falls off his whalebike into the pond.]...Right there...

Vic: Right you are Ken..Good call...and last up for the Bearstein Bears..

Freddy: This is freakin easy!

Vic: Here is Brother Bear's favorite friend: Cousin Freddy..and they also go to the same school together...[Freddy drives the whalebike across the course as the assasins shoot and miss him.] Well this is better...

Ken: Wait a minute! Did Freddy just swear on his honor?[Freddy gets past the S-curves and hairpin turn without a problem. He gets a shower.] Oh wait! He's getting his mouth and body cleansed by Shibert; our lovable whale mascot!

Vic: I hope Dimple doesn't hear that...[Freddy turns the corner and goes across the seesaw hill.] He might just get them on the board...[However; the assasins manage to nail Freddy right in the back of the head and he goes down quickly.] Oh! Hey wait a minute! Now I remember what I was going to say...[They show the replay.] Just because you're the host doesn't give you the right to backstab the producers. Right Kenny?!

Ken: Yeah whatever...Not my problem that Freddy went down harder than his last movie...HAHA!

Vic: That was so inspirational Ken...I might just whack you with a medicine ball after the show...Just for kicks....So thanks to the tri-cycling efforts of Molly Cunningham; the shutout continues as TaleSpin takes a 3-0 lead.

Announcer: Coming up next; it's time to chew the shroom. Don't chop it up Wiltsacks!!

[Commerical Break]

Announcer: And we are back with the third as we find out if those tree-living bears can even score? [Back to the studio.]

Vic: We are back with TaleSpin taking a commanding 3-0 lead..Kenny?![Hits Kenny with his fan as Kenny was ignoring him again.]..You should be ashamed of yourself for your actions in the previous segment!

Ken: I was expressing my opinion on Nevlana and I was willing to say it in their face..

Vic: Kenny you missed the point here. There is a time and place for such comments and it's not in the middle of a...[Justin arrives and gives Kenny a present which looks similar to a surprise by Jokey Smurf. Justin gives Vic the greeting card..] What's this?![He starts to read the card.] Hmm... This looks like a peace offering from Nelvana..

Ken: Wow...I wonder what it could be? I hope it's not Nelvana shows on DVD... [Kenny starts to open the box as Vic continues to read the card.]

Vic: Kenny; I don't think you should open that...

Ken: What harm could it do?[Kenny opens the package and it explodes right into his face. The entire studio is covered with black ash and soot as Ken and Vic's clothes are torn asunder.]

Vic: It says: Is this the kind of cartooning you want your kids to see. Think about it...Mama Bear...

Ken: I guess we know what role Mama Bear played back in the 1980's. I smell personal grudge..

Vic: I smell burning flesh...and our next event is Eat Shi-take! This event combines the light-hearted druid game of fungus flying with the horror of drowning in our mystery fuild.

Ken: Today's fuild is man pudding from the pastures of Farmer Ben.

Vic: Classic stuff there Ken...

Captain: GET IT ON!

Mayor Honeypot: Vote for me please..

Vic: First up for the Bearstein Bears is our favorite bear mayor; the one and only Honeypot...

Ken: Nothing more dirty than a vote-grabbing muncher..[Mayor Honeypot grabs onto the shroom and spirals down the line.]

Vic: Indeed Ken..[About halfway through the course; Mayor Honeypot's grip slips and he falls into the fuild.] Oh! And he'll be munching on our MXC drink..[They show the replay.]

Ken: Nothing is more tasty than Farmer Ben's potang pie...HAHA!

Vic: That was both informative and distrubing...[Back to the action]

Colonel Spigot: I am Colonel Spigot; the death dealer of Dimswipe!

Captain: I'm the Captain; death dealer to evildoers like you...[Spigot nails the Captain in the shin with his stick.] OUCH! Why you little..?![ Holds his shin hopping around.]

Vic: We haven't see that in a while...First up for TaleSpin is..[Colonel Spigot jumps to grab the shroom. However; he misses and lands in the fuild.]...Err never mind...That was short..

Ken: Don't expect less from the ultimate short joke.

Vic: Indeed...Next up for the Bearstein Bears..

Farmer Ben: Thanks for the shill!

Vic: Here is the provider of today's mystery fuild Farmer Ben..

Ken: Because we care about the environment more than our contestents..[ Farmer Ben grabs the shroom and starts to sprial down the wire.]

Vic: Nice response there Ken...[Farmer Ben makes it to the platform.].. The shutout might be dea...[Ben mistimes and lands in the fuild two feet short of the platform.]...Never mind...Farmer Ben is now going to see how a cow feels...Next up for TaleSpin is the evil Air Pirate Captain Don Karnage. We had a chance to talk to him about riding a mushroom..[We go to the field with Don Karnage.]

Don Karnage: Ridin this Shi-take is easier than riding a cake, eating a log and stealing a baby child from his loilipop...Yesno?[Back to the action]

Ken: Looks like he's on a mushroom trip there Vic...[Don Karnage grabs the shroom and spirals down the platform.]

Vic: Indeed he is Ken...[Don Karnage makes it to the platform and tries to jump down. However; he misses by six inches and he nails the platform with his back and neck harshly before falling into the fuild.] Oh my...!!

Ken: That calls for the MXC Impact Replay...[They show the replay.]

Vic: What have we learned here Kenny?!

Ken: Don't...Use....Drugs!!

Vic: Good boy...[Back to the action.]

Two Tall: Beautiful dreamers; wake up to me!

Captain: Ugh! I cannot stand that noise!

Vic: Next up for the Bearstein Bear is the bully turned future idol reject Two Tall Bear...[Two Tall grabs onto the shroom and spirals down the wire.]

Ken: Oh man! My ears are bleeding! He sounds like Tatu...[Two Tall makes it to the platform and drops too hard onto the platform and bounces into the fuild.].. Ah; there's the relief...The sound of the big sploosh into the fuild.

Vic: Right you are Ken...Good call...Next up for TaleSpin...

WildCat: This is my watch and I'm slow...Again...

Vic: Here is our favorite dimwitted mechanic WildCat..[WildCat grabs the shroom and spirals violently down the wire so hard that he can barely hang on. WildCat's grip finally slips halfway through and he falls into the fuild.]..Oh!

Ken: I think WildCat got into Don Karnage secret mushroom statch!

Vic: I think Wildcat's always acts like that on his own Kenny. He doesn't need mushrooms for that effect...Last up for Bearstein Bears..

Mama Bear: Cartoons don't need to be immoral..

Ken: Hey; there's the fiend who betrayed us!

Vic: Here is Mama Bear; the blue clothed enforcer of the Bear family... [Mama Bear grabs the shroom and spirals down the wire. Mama Bear gets to the platform and jumps down onto the edge of the platform.]...and the shutout is...[Mama Bear slips off the edge of the platform into the fuild.]. ...still on!

Ken: HAHA! You suck hard just like all Nelvana cartoons. Kiss my butt!

Vic: Indeed...and last up for TaleSpin...

Kit: WAHOO!!

Vic: Here is the captain of the TaleSpin team Kit Cloudkicker...the boy who is least likely to get painfully eliminated..[Kit grabs the shroom and spirals down the wire quickly.]

Ken: If Kit scores here; you can call this one over Vic..[Kit makes it to the platform.]

Vic: You might be right there Ken...[Kit jumps down and lands perfectly onto the platform for the point.]..and Kit continues his winning ways...[They show the replay.]

Ken: That was prefect use of the shroom.

Vic: Indeed...and so thanks to the safe win shrooming of Kit Cloudkicker; TaleSpin has assured itself a tie with a 4-0 lead.[Back to the studio.]

Ken: I only have one thing to say to Nelvana before we leave...

Vic: I'm afraid to ask...what is that?

Ken: [Tip his head down to the floor and starts to fake vomit.] BLAH!!

Vic: Real classic response you little monkey!![Hits Kenny with his fan.]

Ken: That's better...[Tips his head back up.]

Announcer: Coming up next...It's time to crunch on the log with Log Drop. Don't be floppy MirrorSmudge!!

[Commerical Break]

Announcer: And we're back with the final round of pain and suffering..for the tree bears that is![Back in the studio.]

Vic: And we are back with TaleSpin having a commanding 4-0 lead.

Ken: It's over Vic; there's no way the Crudstein Boobs can come back and... [Justin comes over and whispers into Vic's ear.]...Get out of here Justin! Nobody care about you...HAHA!![Justin leaves.]

Vic: Kenny; I have just been informed that we are going to the Captain for an important announcement...[We go to the field with the Captain.]

Captain: Hello..I am the decide-all ruler of rules, the Captain. Due to TaleSpin's lead; I have decided that each victory from now on is worth two points.. Back to you Vic...[Back to the studio.]

Vic: Thank you Captain...

Ken: I saw the Captain smiling in such a contrived matter. I think Mama Bear got to him to make that kind of decision?

Vic: Ah Kenny?! [Hits him with his fan.] Why are you so paranoid today?

Ken: I don't want my cartoons to be turned into nanny-state approved pap!!

Vic: Kenny?! Pardon me for playing devil advocate but don't you think that your attitude is only going to ensure that the nanny state wins all along...[Kenny ignores him again.]..Never mind...You won't listen to reason and you're too old for cartoons anyway...Our last event of the evening is the painful Log Drop. Roll the log to victory or you'll get dumped!

Ken: Stay dry good, get wet bad!!

Vic: Very bad! So what's today's mystery fuild...

Ken: That's safety fuild from the creators of bubble wrap for kids...oh great?!

Captain: LET'S GET IT ON!

Shere Khan: I'm still not amused...

Vic: First up for TaleSpin is the cold CEO of Khan Industries Mr. Khan... [Shere Khan walks across the logs quickly. Mr. Khan slips onto the fourth log; but keeps his balance and leap onto the fifth log.]

Ken: Wonder what the Crudstein Boobs will plan this time?

Vic: Why are you so parnoid Ken?[Mr. Khan runs faster and makes it to the other side for the two points.]..and Mr. Khan has done it! That ruling has backfired on the Bearstein Bears..[The Captain and Mama Bear are talking to each other.]

Ken: Okay Vic Ramano! How do you explain that?!

Vic: I really cannot Ken...

Captain: I officially declare that all victories are now set at three points!

Ken: The Bearstein Bears are cheating and the Captain is letting get away with it!

Vic: I wouldn't worry about it..

Sister: Thanks Mama Bear..

Vic: First up for The Bearstein Bears is Lizzy Bruin's friend Sister Bear... [Sister tries to walk across the logs but she slips on the first log and bashes her head on the second log and falls into the fuild.] Oh my gosh!

Ken: That calls for the MXC Impact Replay..[They show the replay.] You know; I should thank Mama Bear for turning Sister Bear's head into a marshmellow. HAHA!

Vic: And hopefully; the Captain will come to his senses..[Back to the action]

Rebecca: BA-LOO!!

Vic: Next up for TaleSpin is the owner of Higher For Hire Rebecca Cunningham..

Ken: [Rebecca runs quickly across the logs.] At least she teaches her daughter not to cut corners...

Vic: Good to know Ken...[Rebecca slips on the sixth log and does the Khan bridge. However; when she gets onto the seventh log; she rolls into the fuild.] ..Oh![Back to the studio.]

Ken: She may play by the rules; but she still blows. HAHA!![Justin appears and whispers something in his ear.]

Vic: Kenny; I've just been informed that each victory from now on is worth five points now...

Ken: The Crudstein Boobs are making up the rules as we go..We should be firing the captain right now!

Vic: He's under an iron-clad contract Ken...There's nothing we can do...Let's not worry..[Back to the action]

Brother: Time to tie!

Vic: Next up for the noobs...I mean the Bearstein Bears is the son of Mama Bear; Brother Bear..[Brother Bear walks across the logs.]

Ken: A poor boy getting caught with a desparate parent..[Brother catches his knee on the eighth logs and smashes and bashes into the fuild.]..and he's a desparate loser! HAHA!

Vic: Right you are Ken...Good call...and last up for TaleSpin..

Baloo: Hold on to your kneecaps!

Vic: Here is the fat, lazy, out-of-shape pilot Baloo...

Ken: Better be careful Vic...I wouldn't be surprised if she starts playing the PC card...[Baloo walks across the logs and manages to get to the other side without breaking anything for the five points.]..I can't believe it! He did it without breaking anything!

Vic: Unbelievable indeed Ken...TaleSpin now leads 11-0 with one more ....[Mama Bear whispers to the Captain again.] What's she doing now?!

Captain: I would like to announce that this victory would equal 11 points.

Ken: WHAT?!

Vic: I think the Bearstein Bears are screwed; that would only give them the tie...not the lead.

Ken: Those leftist swine! They hate losing..!

Papa Q. Bear: Win to tie!!

Vic: Last up for the Bearstein Bears is the Captain of the team: Poppa Q. Bear.

Ken: Some captain...He's hiding behind the desparate skirt of a leftist wife..[Papa walks across the logs and is nearing the end.]..I cannot believe it's going to end this way..

Vic: I cannot either..[Papa slips on the eighth log and does the bridge. Papa leaps onto the tenth log; but roll backs and falls into the fuild.] ..and Papa is sunk.

Ken: Thank God it is over!

Vic: Remember Kenny...Public square and all...So after four rounds; TaleSpin pulls off the biggest rout in history as they nuke the Bearstein Bears 11-0!

Ken: They didn't have a prayer....[Back to the studio]

Vic: Indeed...[Justin comes over to talk to Vic.] Justin?! What do you want now?!

Justin: We got to go to the Captain. Mama Bear's trying to force the Captain to end this event in a tie.

Ken: Will she ever stop...What a sore loser?![We go to the field with the Captain and Mama Bear.]

Mama: I demand that you listen to me..TaleSpin is not the show to stop the ultra-violent Innuyasha from winning the Cartoon Cup. I want you to declare a tie because my kids tried hard and deserve to move on.

Captain: Why? I gave your team every chance to come back and you failed. It's not my fault that you screw up.

Mama: How dare you call my team a failure! That deeply offends me! I'm taking you to court.

Captain: You forgot those release forms...

Mama: They mean nothing to me but paper that should never have been wasted![ Kit enters.]

Kit: What in God's name is wrong with you?! Why can't you accept defeat with grace and honor? It's good sportsmanship...

Mama: I don't want my kids to suffer like you did! Don't deny it!! I know your past and your mouth is foul with your exclusion of women and non-religious people.

Kit: Sure; I lost my family and I lost my home before. I suffered more than you will ever know and care..But I accepted my losses and moved on because I had a dream to prove that I was more than just a parent-less child who make the mistake of joining a terrorist group. I'm not afraid of losing...or even being dead. You talk about my mouth being foul; you are exclusing religion and men. At least I accepted women being in positions garnered by men. At least I accept people who don't have a relationship with God. At least I played by the rules..Unlike you. You should be ashamed of youself; buying off the poor Captain to try to gain a meaningless tie so you can save face. You are nothing but a coward and your children have now grown to resent everything thanks to your coddling!

Mama: I'm not going to listen to some punk kid tell me how to do my job.. I'm leaving...[Mama storms off.]

Captain: Oh great...How do we stop her from winning a lawsuit?

Kit: Show the tape of her cheating in court of course..

Captain: Good plan there...Hey SmurfBear?! TaleSpin moves on to the final round againest Team Innuyasha.

Mama: I hate heartless righties!

Captain: I hate wimpy lefties!

Kit: I hate insenstive adults![Kit storms off stage left.]

Captain: I love people who tell it like it is. He should date Gidget..[Back to the studio]

Ken: That was the best competition ever.

Vic: Kenny? TaleSpin basically squashed the Bearstein Bears like a bug and... [Kenny ignores him.] Ah forget it..Let's go to: Kenny Blankenship's Painful Elinimations of the Day!

[They show footage from the event.]

Ken: And we start with number ten as I get a nasty surprise.. and they call themselves role models HAHA!...At number nine; it's more nasty surprises on me as the goon squad decides to seal my lips and fail as usual.. At number eight; it's Papa Q. Bear who keeps going..going..going...gone into our sludge. You'll need a mirror to clean that body off... At number seven; it's Freddy who thinks his honor means anything and takes the stray shot right to the back of the head. See you in your next movie!!... At number six; it's Colonel Spigot who tries to climb the spigot and misses the mark completely..Please shoot this hog out of it's misery...At number five; it's Dumptruck who decides to become the first human anchnor of the sea...Asborbant and yellow and pourous is he not....At number four; it's our favorite laugh track Cub, who becomes the first death in the Nelvana family. Memorial Services to be held tommorrow at the Bear County Memorial Gardens....At number three; it's Don Karnage who compresses his loss, neck, spine and ego all in one fell swoop. OUCH! That's got to leave a mark... At number two; it's Gran who shows up everyone in Bear County with his awesome forward dinner roll. Stick butter in her mouth; she's done for....and my most painful elimination goes to: Sister Bear who puts a head on your root beer; ol'Bear County style. Good thing she doesn't have a brain to use since it gets turned into hamburger on that nasty log; MXC style... You know what; I'm also going to give an honorable mention to noob parent Mama Bear who finally got what she got coming after creating fragile kids. HAHA! Cheaters turely never win...OUCH! That is all.....

[Back to the studio.]

Ken: I couldn't have picked a better lineup..

Vic: Of course you couldn't Ken. You are still a deeply distrubed person; but I still enjoy working with you..Since we are running out of time; you can take us out...

Ken: So what do we always say?!

ALL: DON'T GET ELIMINATED!![Everyone pumps their fists in the air.]

Papa: Win to tie!![The screen freezes as the credits roll.]