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The Magnificent Seven Gummis
Reviewed: 07/22/2011
Isn't That Dustin Rhodes' Gimmick?
Hello kiddies and I am officially back to ranting on old Disney Television Animation shows not related to TaleSpin. Now that we have finished TaleSpin for the second time, done Fluppy Dogs, done the rest of the Rescue Ranger episodes and done the Ducktales Movie; it's time to start the long process of finishing the rest of the series not on DVD yet. Through the process of elimination; I have decided to start at the beginning again and do the remaining seasons of Gummi Bears which should take quite a while since it's probably the largest series rant-wise out of all the series to finish up on.
At this point; we are now in Season 4 which is the Jason Marsden era for Cavin actually (along with the first possible tease of Lady Bane's appearance) and our first episode is about the Gummi Bears in an alternative world to stop Dukie from finding a weapon to terrorize Dumbwin...or so I think. Let's rant on and find out shall we....?
This episode has it's story done by Jymn Magon and Terrie Collins. The teleplay is done by Jymn Magon. The story is edited by Jymn Magon, Mark Seidenberg and Rich Fogel. Terrie started writing for the Smurfs, then it's ALF: The Animated Series, Fantastic Max, Daddy Dearest and Accidently Famous. The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is her DTVA debut. That's about it actually. Rich is mostly a cartoon writer since 1979 doing the usual stuff and this is his DTVA debut actually. He also wrote episode for Goof Troop and Ying, Yang, Yo (TINY TOONS ON CRACK!). Ben 10: Alien Force is his most recent credit and has written in 21 shows, 12 art department, 7 other, and produced three (Gummi Bears, Yo Yogi and Justice League). Mark has a similar pattern; starting with Snorks in 1984. Some quirks include Heavy Gear: The Animated Series and Animalia. Gummi Bears is his DTVA debut and he wrote for Ducktales, Goof Troop, Aladdin The Series, The Emperor's New Sckool, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Jake and The Neverland Pirates (which is his most recent credit). He has 20 writing credits, 7 producer credits, 9 other and 2 soundtrack. This episode is animated by TMS by the way.
Opening Moment #1: Finally; they replaced some new shots in the opening to account for Gusto's appearance. Ironically; the very first shot they replaced is from this episode.
We begin this one with a zoom in shot of Castle Dumbwin....ERRRR...I mean Dunwyn as we cut to the front gate and see a Final Fantasy Black Mage carrying a sack slowly into the castle as the denizens notice him collapse. How funny that one of the kids notices something wrong BEFORE the black mage like man sells that something is wrong. How's THAT for ESP? A thin knight in armor (Peter Cullen) asks to give the lad some air as he turns around the black mage and the lad is Asian and he speaks that he's searching for Gummi Bears. He is voiced by Keone Young by the way who we last heard in Time Is Money Part 2. So we head to Gummi Glen and a sky shot of a wooden ladder as Grammi asks someone if he knows what he is doing. Since we see Cubbi, Sunni and Tummi holding the ladder, there are only five choices here. Oddmakers: Gruffi 2:1, Zummi 3:1, Gusto 5:1, Cavin 7:1, Me 300:1. Oh; it's Gruffi of course as he blows off Grammi because that is the GUMMI WAY see. Of course; the Gummi Way also involves Gruffi taking food shots to the head from Grammi. Gruffi is working on some air vents (the red ones I see) as Zummi paces around on the ground wanting the air vents to open because it's getting hot in there. Gruffi claims that he only needs to adjust it with the screwdriver, but he screws up and splits the ladder in two with his ass. I see Gruffi is on Hoppo's Sea Food diet. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....Why Tummi? Why? (Tummi: Because I'm on the same diet. That's my gimmick sir!) Gruffi lands on his ass as Grammi asks about the air vents and Gruffi admits that it's the wind turbine on Myra Mountain.
So we head back to castle Dumbwin and into King Gregor's throne room as the young lad (now in lime green robes. I guess Square caught wind and sued him at this point) enters and we do the honorable meet and greet as the lad addresses himself as Yen-Moon. Nice to see that in this cartoon; you can still say lord in any context. Gregor is intrigued by this lad from the Far East as Yen-Moon explains that he is on a mission from his homeland of Shu-Woo and brings out a green bear statue and I swear to god Baloo stole it from him. He needs to present it to Gummi Bears. Calla and Cavin gasp as Gregor proclaims that Gummi Bears have not been seen in over 500 years. So now Gregor has admitted on some level that Gummi Bears exist after all? Okay; fine by me as Gregor still welcomes Yen-Moon to the kingdom anyway. Yen-Moon stands up still in the prayer position as Calla walks over and asks him about protecting himself from Drekmore. Wait; if he came from the Far East, then he couldn't have walked NEAR Drekmore at all since it seems to be in the Far West of Dunwyn according to the canon maps. I'm calling logic break #1 for the episode right there. A minor one; but still annoying. Yen-Moon claims that he has ways (In not being near Drekmore; but whatever) as Calla gets a Asian fan as a present before he leaves stage right. So Calla goes over to Cavin who is scratching his head before proclaiming that he needs to tell the Gummi Bears right away. Sure; let's yell that at the top of your lungs so everyone including Gregor can HEAR you. Real dumb Cavin.
This
Cavin is voiced by Jason Marsden and according to the USIMDB:
Originally from Warwick, Rhode Island,
Jason and his parents relocated to California when he was 11 years
old. After just a few weeks of his new after-school activity-scene
study and commercial training-the charismatic Jason was instantly
signed by an agency and saturated with auditions for film,
television, voice-over, commercials, and more. After turns on General
Hospital, Webster, and Murphy Brown, Jason was cast as Eddie Munster
in the revamped Munsters Today, which ran for three seasons in
syndication. From there he appeared on Tales from the Crypt, Anything
But Love, and Star Trek: The Next Generation before landing his
second series regular role as Dash X in the series Eerie, Indiana.
His character actor appeal soon caught the attention of Billy
Crystal, who cast him as a younger version of himself in the film
Mister Saturday Night.
For the next few years, Jason
co-starred in numerous television shows, including Baywatch, Blossom,
Deep Space Nine. He starred in two more sit-coms after that. Almost
Home with Britney Murphy, and Tom, starring Tom Arnold. He was soon
asked to recur on Full House, as D.J.'s rich boyfriend, Nelson. His
"teen-heartthrob" status earned him another recurring gig
for two years on the popular TGIF series Boy Meets World. Shortly
after, he joined the cast of Step by Step (starring Suzanne Somers
and Patrick Duffy) for their final two seasons. The silver screen
soon called to Jason and, at age twenty, he was offered a role
appearing opposite Jeff Bridges in White Squall. On a production that
spanned eight countries, he shared the screen with contemporaries
Scott Wolf, Jeremy Sisto, Ryan Phillippe, and Balthazar Getty. Upon
returning to the states, Jason propelled himself into more network
television, appearing in episodes of The Jamie Foxx Show, Ally
McBeal, Bram and Alice, Even Stevens, Just Shoot Me!, and Shark. It
was his unforgettable guest starring role as Kim (the "pocket
gay") on Will & Grace, however, that earned him a place
alongside Eric McCormack, Debra Messing, and Harry Connick,
Jr.
Somehow, amongst all of his on-camera work, Jason has also
managed to amass over 100 credits behind the mic. He has lent his
voice to some of animation's most beloved characters in cartoon
series, feature films, radio programs, and more. Jason has played a
wide range of roles-from the main character in the Academy
Award-winning
Spirited Away to the son of one of Disney's favorite dogs in A Goofy
Movie. At present, he is wrapping the first season of Hasbro's GI
Joe: Renegades for the HUB network, Fairly Odd Parents for
Nickelodeon, and The Garfield Show on Cartoon Network. If you're a
video game fan, you've probably heard Jason in such epic games as
Fallout New Vegas, Knights of the Old Republic, and the title role in
Tak and the Power of Juju. Jason is also a proud member of the
Directors Guild of America. Having helmed the season finale of
Nickelodeon's The Journey of Allen Strange, he has subsequently
directed numerous music videos as well as several short films. His
latest short film The Author: Part of Locker 13 (starring Krista
Allen and Rick Hoffman) earned official selection at Palm Springs
Shorts Fest, Phoenix Film Festival, Nashville International Film
Festival, and continues touring the '10-'11 film festival
circuit.
Back in the spotlight once again, Jason has recently
appeared in several independent films including High Hopes (with
David Faustino and Jason Mewes), Pizza Man (starring Frankie Muniz),
as well as the much anticipated Blue Like Jazz, based on the famed
novel, which just wrapped filming in Nashville, TN. While working on
his current projects, Jason is studying the Charles Conrad Method at
the Steve Eastin Studio and enjoying the role he was born to
play...loving husband to his wife, Christy and awesome dad to his
son, Clark Otis. He
debuted on General Hospital in 1986 (!!) as Alan Quartermaine Jr. #3
and this is his DTVA debut, although he would move on as Shnookums in
The Shnookums & Meat “Funny” Cartoon Show,
Marsupilami, Jungle Cubs as Prince Louie and Shere Khan, Recess as
James Stone, both Goofy Movies as Max Goof, Mungo in Legend of
Tarzan, House of Mouse as Max Goof, Lilo & Stitch The Series as
Baby Jumba, The Weekenders as Tito Tonitini, Brandy & Mr.
Whiskers, WITCH as Matt Olsen, Kim Possible as Felix Renton and The
Replacements as Dustin Dreamlake. Ultimate Spiderman is his most
recent credit. He has 150 titles to his resume in acting; has four
direction credits (Locker 13, Misty & Sara, The Greatest Short
Film Ever!, and The Journey of Allen Strange.), 4 producer credits
(Animated American), 3 writing credits, 2 editing credits and 1
soundtrack (The Fairly Oddparents in School's Out! The Musical).
Scene changer and we head to Myra Mountain which gives new meaning to the term: Ultimate Windbags. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's kind of like MMA; only with Drake Mallard in it. We head inside the wind turbine itself as it's windbag city for Sunni's hair as the Tunnel Car arrives at it's destination. I Everyone has come including ultra vain Gusto who makes his first appearance in Season four two and a half minutes in. They make it to the wind turbine machine as Zummi talks about the ancient Gummies again knowing what to do in a situation like this; which gives Grammi a jump off point to mock Gruffi again. Gruffi blows Grammi off again as Cubbi and Sunni find pieces of gear lying on the floor and present them to Gruffi which Gruffi deduces that they are pieces of the master gear to the wind turbine. Tummi has complete confidence in Gruffi fixing the master gear; but Gruffi blows it off because he doesn't know. Geez; thanks for proving Grammi's mockery there Gruffo. They are doomed....DOOMED I SAY....to leaving Gummi Glen and Gruffi don't know where to go either. Something doesn't make sense here: Gruffi seems to be implying that if they don't fix the master gear; they must leave Gummi Glen because they will run out of air. But Zummi claims that it was only hot earlier. Something tells me; Zummi's original quote was that they would run out of air and die; but BS&P stepped in. Maybe there IS something to this dumbing down by BS&P because in TaleSpin; Baloo and Kit would have zero problems saying die on command if need be.
So we scene change to a table as Dukie is playing piano with the table while ultra cool sidekick Toadie shows him an empty plate. It's great that I'm doing Gummi Bear rants now since I get to see the cool sidekick/bump machine appear again to save Dukie's ass from total burial. Dukie is hungry for something as Toadwart puts the shaker of pepper and salt down (In this time era? Really?) as he proclaims that the ogres will be back with din-din. Toadie points and we see Zook with the sack with Gad (doesn't matter anyway since all the ogres for this episode are voiced by Will “Grubby” Ryan.) and he dumps rotting garbage on Dukie's plate. Here's a clue Dukie: Never put on your bib when ogres dump food on your plate. Bad things like THAT happen. I see old Disney is not immune to the Wah-wah sound either as Dukie demands answers to this slop. Zook calls it a slow day; so Dukie backhands the plate and it somehow smacks Toadie in the face with a MAN-SIZED bump. Explain THAT one kids?! Zook gives Dukie a fortune cookie and Dukie takes it and demands to know where he got it. Zook claims that a young man with Gummi statue gave it to them. This would have made a lot more sense; if Drekmore was in the Far East; but at least it pays off the old “I have my ways” trick from earlier. Dukie calls Zook a moron. Memo to Dukie: That is actually an improvement with these ogres. Zook proclaims that he did let Yen-Moon get away and Dukie blows him off because he could have ruled the world with the statue. I see Dumbwin is too dumb for him to conquer anymore as he demands to know where the lad is. Zook claims that he's looking for Gummi Bears Dukie then gets inspired as we cut to a closeup of ultra-cool sidekick Toadie looking at his dirty hands. I think we all know where is this going now....
So we head back to the Gummi Glen as the GANG OF GUMMI WAY is packing books as Gusto comes in noticing that it's getting a wee bit warmer. Geez; you just NOTICED that El Vaino? I swear Gusto must be cold blooded; which matches the color of his fur. Zummi flips through the Great Book of Gummi and cannot find anything. Cute spot: Tummi is right behind Zummi asleep and cool as usual. Gruffi grabs some boxes and tries to walk out; but he takes a MAN-SIZED tackle from an entering Cavin. Gruffi demands answers to this outrage as Cavin explains that Yen-Moon has a Gummi statue as Tummi packs a white Gummi statue into a box claiming that they already have one. So Cavin corrects himself as Zummi asks what it looks like and Cavin states that it looks exactly like the one in the Book of Great Gummi. Nice to see Zummi was on the ball there eh? Very conivent of him. Zummi calls it an act of friendship; although he screws it up like he normally does. Zummi states that they must help him since he's presenting said statue and Gruffi blows it off because they have problems of their own. Aww; a little hot under the collar there Gruffi? Ah; I see he finally did his trademark Gruffi pose (which Rebecca is still cooler than you) and Grammi states that they can at least explain why they cannot help him and Gruffi relents. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of going to him anyway?
So we head to the castle of Dumbwin AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and into a tower bedroom as Yen-Moon sleeps the night away. The door slowly opens and in comes ultra-cool sidekick Toadie dressed up like Gruffi Gummi. Why doesn't it surprise me that Dukie would pick the Gummi Bear who wears a tin-foil hat? We practice the fine art of not being seen by Gruffwart as he hides behind a chair and then he notices the green statue sparking in a crappy way. That's pretty dumbed down; sezs I. Gruffwart manages to sneak in and steal the green statue. However; like the goofball that Toadie is; he didn't walk backwards and walks into the purple wooden shoes Yen-Moon was wearing and takes another MAN-SIZED bump onto the floor as Yen-Moon wakes up. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are on that contrived spot. That's a new Disney spot if I ever saw one. Yen-Moon asks if he is a Gummi Bear and Toadie almost acts honestly before lying claiming to be Toadie Gummi. LAME-O guys! He should be called Gruffwart Gummi since he looks like Gruffi. Yen-Moon isn't so sure about this which makes him smarter than he looks since Toadie forgot to wear fur bear shoes. Just missed the perfect disguise eh? Toadie calls it bad reflection as he tries to bounce like a Gummi; but screws it up. Umm; you bounce on your ass Gruffwart. Then he bounces on the bed acting all cool and stuff and finally bounces on his ass and out the window. HAHA! Who would have thought one of Toadie's pops out of the castle would work out so damn well?! Splash of doom ensues as Yen-Moon goes to the window and Gruffwart is all right...for about three seconds since his ass is on top of an alligator. Ah; I see Gregor has finally done something to up security to his castle. So Dumbwin is less dumb than usual. Gruffwart then runs on water like Jesus Christ as the alligator follows him.
So we return inside the blue/green tint hallway as Cavin points out the room where Yen-Moon is sleeping. We see Zummi, Gruffi, Tummi and Grammi with him and that expands to all of the bears once Cavin walks away stage left out of sight. Ah the pitfalls of television animation. And Cavin is now a peach which is not exactly the most endearing thing to say about him Grammi. Gruffi of course complains as usual about being talked into these situations. Grammi of course blows him off for bellyaching as we cut to Yen-Moon (in a white nightgown) heading to the door and opens it as the Gummi's cover is blown. Everyone stammers as Zummi tells Yen-Moon that they cannot help him since they are all that is left and there is no army left. Yen-Moon then brings out the OUT OF NOWHERE scroll as it shows a Chinese Dragon and Gummi's fighting it, plus Chinese writing as Yen-Moon explains that one Gummi equals the power of 20 armies. We have 140 armies then right Yen? That makes no sense of course as Gruffi proclaims that they have big problems of their own and Yen-Moon offers to help him. Gruffi talks about fixing gears and Yen-Moon proclaims that they hold no mystery to him as Gruffi has the trademark Gruffi pose on him daring him basically. Grammi blows Gruffi off and wants him to try and Gruffi ponders it over.....
And apparently he accepts as we head to Myra Mountain as we head to the wind turbine machine as Yen-Moon is giddy about the Ancient Gummies as Gruffi arrives with the master gear parts and calling the repair impossible. Yen-Moon disagrees and does the CARTOON SPIRAL OF DOOM to fix the part. Gruffi asks how he did that? The magic of cartoons Gruffi; that's how he did it. Yen-Moon claims that he has many puzzle boxes and he puts tab A into slot B. So his culture is the one that created the mass market culture. We then see Yen-Moon take two rock and spark a stick into a sparkler as he does some spot welding the master gear together so that it can last another 500 years or so. The wind turbines work again to perfection as Gruffi is bounced. Sunni thanks Mr. Moon as Grammi proclaims that it's time for them to get off their duffs and help Mr. Moon with his problem since the Far East is miles away. Zummi suggests using the Gummi Statue since it would teleport them to their destination. Wait; so the statue has super powers?! Okay; that justifies Gruffwart stealing it then. Gusto asks where the statue is and Mr. Moon proclaims that the other Gummi Bear took it. Cubbi asks who the other Gummi Bear is and Mr. Moon explains that it's a green smelly one with pointy ears. The Gummies all realize that it's the ultra-cool sidekick Toadie and that ends the segment nearly ten minutes in. Average episode so far.
After the commercial break; we head to Drekmore BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) and into the dining room as Dukie is pacing around wondering where the ultra-cool sidekick Toadie is. If he has an alligator up his ass; then you know it's him Dukie. Thankfully; Gad and Zook enter with Gruffwart who has the Gummi Statue. Dukie blows them off claiming that they caught a Gummi Bear (ah; close enough Dukie!) and Toadie gets dumped on his back as Toadie presents Dukie with the statue. Dukie grabs it and cheers for victory. He steps on Toadie for good measure as he ponders how to make this thing work. So Dukie tries magic words; shaking, rubbing the statue for a genie etc. No dice forthcoming though as it turns run and it's hot as hell as we play hot potato to waste time. We then cut to the front gate as it's officially AFTER HAPPY HOUR as the babyfaces along with Mr. Moon casually walk in as Cubbi and Moon exchange notes about Drekmore being strange. They practice the fine art of not being seen by the sleeping ogres which has to be the easiest thing to not screw up on. We see Arte Deco flying around and he notices the statue is inside a lit window (voiced by Brian Cummings at this point) and Gusto proclaims that he owes him one. So we scene change as we see the Gummis walk towards a door as ultra-cool sidekick Toadie asks if this is really going to work as Tummi listens to the door. He looks through the keyhole and we see the most contrived Cinderella dance ever by Toadie and Dukie. HAHA! Grammi asks what the hell they are doing and Tummi claims in roundabout terms (how fitting eh?) that they are doing the Hokey-Pokey. And it's still forced as hell. Arte Deco gleefully answers that one for me in ironic fashion.
So Dukie shakes the statue some more and bounces it off the floor screaming and screwing up the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS. Dukie sits down in his throne panting. So Toadie decides to try tomorrow as Dukie sulks and Gad and Zook take Dukie's throne out of the room and they do not suspect a thing as usual. Whatever as Dukie would say. The Gummies all enter and sit down in a circle around the statue as Zummi stutters on having no time to lose and chants this line....
Zummi:
Inma Bello Gummi Berry Foo......
Translation
From Zummi to English:
In My Bell Low Gummi Berry Fool!
Whatever Zummi; I've heard more cooler and disturbing translations from you. The rest is all in English as the Gummi's all repeat what he sezs and that is enough for Dukie and the ogres to blow their cover and Toadie and Dukie run in just as the statue spins; spews green smoke and changes them into a Chinese Kite to fly away out the window with Dukie and Toadie in tow. Got that? I hope so. Gad and Zook blows off Toadie for having all the fun as we fade to black because you have to turn Michael Eisner to this episode somehow.
We return to a river with Chinese brick bridges as we pan northeast and see the Chinese kite fly down from the sky. It then hovers about three feet off the ground as the power of suggestion somehow makes Dukie hit a rock despite missing it by about a foot and take a wussy bump into the tree. Sigh. Toadie of course takes a MAN-SIZED bump into said tree because he's Tarzan and Dukie is Jane. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm..... The kite finally lands on the ground and we get whirlwind spots in stereo from the Gummi Bears. I can see Butterbear prepping her lawyers on speed dial as we speak now. The statue stops spinning as Mr. Moon grabs it and Gusto calls it a wild ride. Tummi proclaims that we are not in Drekmore anymore as we are outside of the walled city of Shu-Woo. We find out that he's Prince Yen-Moon as we cut to a fat Chinese guy ringing the gong inside. Yen-Moon and the GANG OF GUMMI WAY enter the city as we cut to Dukie and ultra-cool sidekick Toadie watching from the tree. Dukie sees this as a way to conquer it as Toadie is giddy to do so. Dukie wants to; but he needs a Krackpotkin plan to sneak inside.
Scene changer to the castle as we head onto a stage as the Gummi Bears try on their Asian clothes and Grammi likes it as they face the crowd in front of the castle as Yen-Moon addresses the crowd as he found the Great Gummies. The crowd doesn't seem to mind them at all as we scene change to AFTER HAPPY HOUR as we have Asian dancers, musicians and a feast table as Tummi is having difficulty realizing that this is China and they use chopsticks to eat. Thankfully; Yen-Moon corrects him on the skill and we hit the fireworks and cheers. The Gummies look on in awe; but Gruffi has his trademark pose on as Yen-Moon hasn't explained why he needs their help. Yen-Moon proclaims that he'll understand soon enough as the evil one will appear at dawn. So we fade to black again to turn Eisner on again and we return as we see the plains and brick bridges as we pan southeast to see Dukie sitting on a rock drawing with a stick in the grass. Ultra-cool sidekick Toadie is pacing around (oh; the irony!) and there is rumbling as Dukie blows him off for having a rumbling stomach. Toadie claims that he didn't do it and Dukie asks who did. Toadie invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH as the SHADOW OF DOOM engulfs Dukie and here comes the Red Chinese Dragon of Doom. Dukie and Toadie bail into the bushes; but the dragon tail swipes Dukie and Toadie into the air. And where they land; do we really care? Actually; they crash into the farmer's market as Dukie has tomatoes all over it's kisser. Toadie gleefully points out the obvious as a rooster pecks Dukie's head. That was perversely funny for some reason.
So we cut to the front stairs as the babyfaces and Prince Moon walk down the steps and hear the rumbling. Sunni asks what was that and Yen-Moon proclaims that it's time which Tummi confuses as breakfast. If only Tummi; if only. Yen-Moon calls it time to face the Dreaded One as they walk to the castle gates and they slowly open. The babyfaces all walk out as the doors slam behind them. Cubbi proclaims that they have no choice now as the red dragon slowly walks towards the babyfaces. Gruffi doesn't like this at all. Zummi calls the prince, Prince Prune in his stuttering. HAHA! Moon claims that the Great Gummies defeated the dragon last time. Gruffi decides to step forward and orders the dragon to stop in the name of the Great Gummies. Jeepers Gruffi; why not stop him in the name of love? That might have worked better as the red dragon no sells and breathes fire causing Gruffi to bounce backwards. Gruffi bails as the red dragon swipes his tail against the building and we see the villagers on the other side; throwing food at the dragon? Huh? Even the Gummies are as confused as I am. We cut back to the farmer's market as Dukie and Toadie walk away and Toadie pleads for the monster not to eat him. He has a point; how else can Dukie have any heat for the next couple of seasons? Dukie notices the green statue on a pillar up the steps and Dukie proclaims that it got them to this point; it should help him get home as he gets to the steps and grabs it. He rubs it; but he doesn't want to go home yet as he runs to the craft table and gets all giddy. Because apparently; we have to dumb down Dukie too.
Scene changer and we see the dragon continuing to eat like a horse. The red dragon breathes flame and then walks out stage left. Huh? Yen-Moon finally explains that the dragon will destroy the village if he isn't fed lots of food. Prince Moon has no idea how much more he can take as Zummi feels bad for letting them down. Gusto wishes that a Gummi was worth 20 armies as Gruffi paces around and then has a Krackpotkin plan in mind. Scene changer and we see Gruffi spot welding a machine as we get our COMPLEX TRAP OF THE DAY from the Gummi Bears which is basically a machine version of using bamboo sticks with hats on and slingshots. Some trees get tied up by the girl Gummies as Arte Deco plays watch and hears the roaring. He yells at Gruffi for battle stations as Gruffi swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (darn) and orders Arte to run interference. We then cut to the red dragon as he slowly walks towards the castle. We then see in the trees Zummi Gummi with a rope and a megaphone ordering the red dragon to stop because the Gummi Army has him surrounded. Like I'm going to take that seriously from a stutterer.
The dragon no sells as Yen-Moon wants action now as Grammi rub the ropes of the bushes which causes them to move beside the dragon allowing the distraction. Then we see Tummi and Sunni drink their vials of the ROIDED JUICE OF DOOM and it's BUTT BOUNCING TIME~! I've waited years to say that. Sunni and Tummi slingshot the bamboo hats into view and Arte Deco plays air force as he uses his talons to scratch the dragon scale back of the red dragon and it sells. Seriously; it does. Grammi drinks her Gummi Berry juice and it's bouncy, bouncy time and she bounces onto the dragon's nose and orders him to take a powder as he gets the XXX FLOUR OF PORNO (Why is flour in cartoons always labeled Triple X?). Memo to Grammi: You do not know what a windbag is. It's usually has the last name of Mallard. BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again. You are not...POW! OUCH! Ummmm......Grammi bounces off and the dragon breathes fire as we cut to Zummi and Cubbi setting up a barrel of fireworks tying it to the dragon's tail. Zummi then invokes his SPELLS OF SATAN with this chant...
Zummi:
Wamight! Common Dumo Nowmow!
Translation:
What Might! Common Dumbo Now Mow!
Okay; so now we have officially got a Dumbo reference in a spell. Anyhow; that lights the fuse as Cubbi and Zummi bail stage left as the dragon smells something and lifts it's tail to see the barrel of fireworks and it goes off looking like something out of a Kimba cartoon. It's the firework twister sock~! Arf! Arf! Arf! Yeah; that sounded better when Chris Barat was hyper referencing it. My mistake as usual. Dragon oversells as we cut to Gruffi putting the finishing touches on whatever the hell he was working on as Cubbi mocks the dragon and bounces away. Gruffi is near a hallowed log and hopes that it works. Gruffi then taunts the dragon himself and that gets the dragon's attention because the little kid is protected under BS&P orders. The dragon breathes fire; Gruffi dodges and that somehow triggers the trap without burning the log to ashes. Yeah; that makes no sense whatsoever. The machine inflates; everyone bails and the dragon gets nailed Kimba cartoon style with the octopus flamethrower and we get a cloud of smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND BS&P DECISIONS!) as the dragon has soot; but otherwise unhurt. Whatever guys.
The dragon no sells and chases the running Gummi's away. YAY! The babyfaces bail into the city as Tummi just wants to go home and Gruffi agrees with him. Zummi blows it off because they cannot abandon Yen-Moon; however, Gruffi counters that they'll use the Gummi statue to teleport the dragon away. They run towards the pillar and the statue is gone of course. The dragon crashes through the gate without any effort and it looks PISSED. The chase continues slowly as Yen-Moon wants to know what mongrel would steal the statue as we cut to Dukie and ultra-cool sidekick Toadie are about to walk out of the castle with a sack of goodies. The babyface notice the obvious right away as Yen-Moon does the run in as Dukie takes the statue and taunts him. If that's all Dukie is good for now; I'm looking forward to Lady Bane now. Dukie decides to take him on so Yen-Moon invokes the FINGER POKE OF DOOM on the shoulder and that is enough to knock Dukie down as he squashes Toadie good and shatters some priceless stuff. YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD! Those were priceless pieces of china too. Gruffi steals the statue back as Yen-Moon prays and here comes the dreaded one himself. The dragon; not Dukie, nor Lady Bane sadly. More destruction as Gruffi throws the statue into the dragon's mouth and he swallows it. Zummi chants the SPELL OF DOOM and the dragon floats into the air, spins around into a red tornado, spews green smoke on top, turns into a kite and flies away out of sight. Cubbi cheers on cue as Gruffi proclaims that this will teach him to mess with Gummi Bears. Yeah sure Gruffo.
Anyhow; we cut to the wall sides as the villagers cheer on the new Great Gummies as Prince Moon bows to his new masters the Gummi Bears. The Gummi Bears bow back as Gruffi is all modest; so Gusto makes up for it by proclaiming that you cannot keep a good Gummi down. HA! Gruffi blushes and that ends the episode at 21:08. All right episode; but nothing truly special and it felt like running through the motions rather than being the epic season opener that it needed to be. As offensive as Last Horizons was; I pick it over this episode any day. Or even Time is Money Part 2 over this too. *** ¼ (65%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; our first Gummi Bear episode in the Jason Marsden era is in the books and it was pretty average fare to me. There were a few notable miscues; but it was a solid enough story and nothing really offensive; nor over the top stereotypical about it. In other words; you won't feel shame watching it; but you won't feel proud watching it either. There wasn't anything epic about it and it felt rushed to make the 22 minutes. Yen-Moon was your Asian babyface and the red dragon was just another dragon in a series of them. Maybe in the later case; it's due to the Knight Fright comic episode from TaleSpin that makes me feel spoiled. Dukie was all right; but it's clear that he isn't going to be regaining his heat anytime soon. Overall; a middle of the road episode to start which is not a good sign for the series. So next up is Love Hath Charm and Dressed For Success and those two shorts I can do albeit with different sources of video. So.......
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.