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My Kingdom For A Pie/The World According to Gusto
Reviewed: 11/09/2011
Gusto and Cubbi Go Stone Cold!
So we are down to the final four of Gummi Bears as we will complete the first half of the final four with two shorts. One which could be one of the dumbest episodes ever and one which contains Gusto and Cubbi saying screw you to the rules. Sounds like fun. So...Let's rant on and find out shall we....?
My Kingdom For A Pie story is done by Jymn Magon and the teleplay is done by Rose G. Wong. The World According to Gusto is written by Kevin Hopps. I have nothing on Rose G. Wong other than Gummi Bears. Don't know the reason why for her hiring. Both episode were animated by Walt Disney Animation Japan.
My Kingdom For A Pie: We begin this one with a shot from inside the oven as Grammi opens the oven and takes out a chocolate cake. She hums a tune as Gruffi interrupts as he walks in with 2X4's . Well; that at least explains the boards in the background. Grammi blows him off and asks why he couldn't put up the shelves some other time. Gruffi is using the measuring tape on the cupboard and tells her that she told him to do it as soon as possible. Grammi blows him off because he is not supposed to do it while she is cooking. Ah; I see we have our wires crossed. Again. Gruffi proclaims that if she wants this done; it's now or never. Grammi challenges him as she goes to her and we see Tummi barely able to get the door open because the table with three dozen pots and pans is blocking the door. Tummi sniffs and he sees the chocolate cake right on the table. And Tummi even asks nicely and waves his arm to get Grammi's attention on the cake; but Grammi tells him not until after dinner. Tummi asks if lunch is ready and Grammi sezs no and won't be until Mr. Fix-It puts everything away and finishes his work. Gruffi is not amused as Tummi wants to help him because the sooner he gets done the sooner they have lunch as Grammi is at the stove. So Tummi shoves the door open and Grammi realizes that the table with pot and pans are going to get thrown down onto the ground; but it's too late as the metal falls on the floor. That leads to a chain of events as Grammi jumps up; the pots nail the conveniently placed boards and Gruffi gets paddled right in the head with them. HAHA!
Tummi runs in and removes the boards and apologizes with the most unconvincing voice ever. Gruffi blows him off for helping only when his stomach conveniently needs food. He also references the Ancients to force the point. Tummi states that he doesn't always do that. Gruffi blows it off because he would likely sell Grammi for a sandwich. Okay; that is really a dumb thing to say. I mean how would Tummi get any food if he sold Grammi out. Grammi pulls Tummi over and tells him that he can help by taking out the garbage. Which happens to be the smallest bucket Grammi could find. Tummi accepts the task anyway as we grabs it and walks out; remembering to tease taking a claw full of chocolate cake in the process before Grammi calls him out on it. Tummi lies that he saw a fly on the cake (That is really flexing the bounds of creditability there Tummi) as Grammi wants him to learn self control. Didn't that self control cause him to go help crazy in Friar Tum; Grammi? Tummi claims that he has lots of self control which means the trademark pose from Gruffi comes right on cue. Gruffi claims that he's the sugar plum fairy. Actually; him dressing up like the sugar plum fairy would be a riot to watch. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm.... Tummi promises to not think about food for the rest of the day and walks out as Gruffi blows it off.
So we head into the forest as we do a shot of a chipmunk running on top of a tree branch as Tummi proclaims that he'll show Gruffi that he has lots of self control. We see Tummi in the forest with the bucket as Tummi does the worst thing possible and breaks his word on thinking about food about 15 seconds in. Oh well; at least he didn't do it in front of his parents like Kick did in Kick The Habit. We can only be so lucky. So Tummi empties the garbage into a hallowed tree stump (!!!) and calls for willpower. And within seconds the SMELL OF DOOM engulfs Tummi's nose as he walks to it and sees a bunch of pump tents with lots of yummy food on the table and it's sponsers of the Daughters of the Dumbwinian...ERRR...I mean Dunwynnian Revolution. Which the daughters are male ogres dressed up like Grandma's. Oooookkkkkaaaayyyyy; someone is clearly overcompensating for his short....Oh wait; it's Dukie as he walks in calling for the ultra-cool sidekick Toadie. We see Toadie in his princess outfit (the same one he would wear in Trading Faces to boot) sitting on the table as he created this trap to catch Gummi Bears. Dukie doesn't buy this trap for one second as we see Tummi stealing muffins from the table in the bushes and eating them. Well; good, we got rid of the dumb willpower angle so at the very least, this episode won't be half as dumb.
Toadie claims that Gummi Bears have a sweet tooth. Actually; only a few of them and none of them are adults. Dukie asks if they caught any bears and Toadie admits that he didn't. However; he did sell 12 coffee cakes which really gets Dukie mad. See; heels do not do honest stuff like selling coffee cakes. That turns them babyface see; and Disney cannot have any of that. Toadie defends his trap by showing the Ogre's Almanac which is basically the blue book of stupidity. I know this because Gad and Zook can barely keep themselves from laughing as Dukie throws Toadie into the blanket that the ogres were knitting and storms off stage left calling it the worst Krackpotkin Plan ever. Gad and Zook agree with this too (Of course; you don't like dressing like a Grandma though.) and covers Toadie with the blanket and storms away stage right with the remaining ogres. Methinks those ogres will NOT be getting a percentage of the profits made from the coffee cake sales. Toadie tries to stop them because he's the head chair of the Revolution and he gets MURDERED off-screen as Tummi sneaks in to grab the pink cream pie of death...which changes white on the next shot as this is desert for Tummi. Toadie is still on the blanket for goodness knows what reason and sees the Gummi Bear blowing his cover. Gad and Zook turn around and Tummi is forced to bail with the cream pie (How fitting for the title eh?). SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE DAUGHTERS OF THE OGRE REVOLUTION ensues inside the entire ground which has to be the stupidest move by Tummi yet because if he bailed stage left; he would be deep into the forest and have less of a chance to be captured. Idiot!
So Gad and Zook have to trip and pratfall to allow Tummi to hide under a table (which looks like a modern lawn table natch); which the ogres throw away and somehow Tummi still manages to run away stage right out of the area; only to be caught in the blanket of doom by Toadie. That's right; the ogres are slower than Tummi F'N Gummi. Toadie is in the tree of course and float down to stomp on his FAT ASSES. So Tummi is uncovered as he asks how much is the pie and for some strange reason we have a clear jump cut since the music is out of alignment. Huh? What could be so offense that it appeared to be a Toon Disney cut? Anyway; Toadie slaps the pie away calling it a no sale and Tummi is their prisoner. Doesn't Dukie look like an idiot now? So we head to Drekmore BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Tummi tells Toadie inside the kitchen that he doesn't know how to make Gummi Berry Jucie. Toadie is not fooled according to him; which means that he is fooled to the brim of those basket of Gummi Berries. I would love to know how the ogres manage to find Gummi Berries without being spotted by the bears? I'm guessing Dukie is growing Gummi Berry bushes somewhere and we don't see them. Toadie wants him to cook like mad; or he gets the double deluxe torture method as punishment. So tickling him is not enough eh? See; he'll listen to popular folk songs played by Dad and Joke (?) as Toadie and the ogres leave him. Tummi sulks proclaiming that Gruffi was right all along about his stomach doing the thinking and he blows it off. And eat Gummi Berries whole. Heh.
So we head to Dukie's war room as Dukie has a globe on an angled table and a lot of maps which he is observing. We see Zook asking him about the map and Dukie blows them off because they are useless. Dukie throws the maps around as Toadie comes through the door and proclaims that his Krackpotkin Plan worked and Dukie blows him off because catching himself. He grabs Toadie by the cheeks and is giddy as he walks out to see the bear's progress in making the juice (which Toadie points out) and we open the kitchen as Dukie is giddy about invading Dumbwin and then he catches himself as Tummi has eaten every single Gummi Berry in the baskets. HAHA! Now there's a good counter to prevent him from making juice. That ends the segment about five and a half minutes in. Yeah; my source is two videos in total. I'm going to have to deal with that. Not a bad episode thus far either.
After the video break; we see Dukie grabbing Toadie by the tunic as he blows him off for not getting Grammi instead of Tummi. Nice continuity from Secret of the Juice. Even Tummi was trying to tell him; so you know Toadie was being an idiot. Toadie tries to explain but Toadie drops him on his ass as he's the Nimcowpoop of the year and gets stuffed in a basket. Boy; we are BS&P'ing the hell out of this episode today aren't we? Dukie then decides to play nice with Tummi and invite him over to lunch. Now we finally get to the really dumb part of this episode as Tummi claims that he has already eaten. Dukie calls this nonsense because there is always room for more as he escorts Tummi out of the kitchen and Zook escorts him to the dining room. Dukie seems happy for some reason as Toadie pops from the basket asking why Dukie is playing nice here. Dukie proclaims that Tummi's weakness is food as he pets Toadie (Must...resist....tasteless...Gidget...petshop....joke....) and the way to the Gummi Bear's hideout is through his stomach. Yes folks; Dukie's plan is to feed Tummi so much that Tummi leads them to the hideout. Are we supposed to seriously believe that Tummi is so mentally stupid that he would want to help Dukie? Come on; I can see some “we look nice; but we are Gummi Bear hunters” humans try this stunt on Tummi and it would be believable, but Dukie?! Give me a freaking break guys! He calls it easy as pie too and walks out....Oy vey. And I thought Clamantha falling in love with a laptop was absurd....
So we head to Dukie's dining room as Tummi is the only one sitting down at the table and here comes Dukie and Toadie with the trays of baiting...ERRRR...I mean goodies. Soup is on according to Toadie as Tummi thinks he's dream. I only wish he was in fact. Dukie calls the dream nonsense. I only wish it wasn't nonsense. The soup bowl is on the table and Tummi proclaims that he might have been wrong about Dukie and Dukie agrees with him. Oh TAG guys! Dukie wants him to tell him where Gummi Glenn is and Tummi is about to eat and then blows him off. Dukie claims that he visits their humble home since Tummi visited his humble home. Because that is how friendship works and Tummi blows him off because he is NOT a friend. Good; it's nice to see Tummi actually push him away proper. What was Dukie thinking in making us believe that even Tummi F'N Gummi would fall for such a stupid idea? Toadie puts some pasta and meatballs on the table as Dukie claims that Tummi is getting the stupidity end of the deal. Okay; he said better end; but this is stupid. Tummi invokes the Gruffi pose on Dukie. At least this is only half stupid thus far since Tummi isn't buying the bill of goods here. Good for him as Dukie calls for Toadie to show Tummi their cooking skills and Toadie salutes him and rings the little dinner bell.
So in comes about five ogres in butler suits wheeling in trays of turkey, pancakes, and a salad?! I didn't know ogres were half vegatarians. Dukie proclaims that this is all his; in exchange for the location of Gummi Glenn of course. Now on a personal note; I think Dukie should know better than to scream in Tummi's face because that is not what friends do to get their way. Tummi no sells and points to his stomach to use willpower. I need willpower just to get through this episode as Dukie continues to pour on and brings out the SLUSH MACHINE OF DOOM. Did I mention that it comes in 17 flavors and the pour spout is shaped like a purple ogre's head? Dukie's favorite is cherry vanilla. Really Dukie?! That's the one that is the most liable of being a choke hazard and make me throw up. So Tummi covers his cover and he won't talk regardless of how much food they show. I betcha they bring in the cream pie and he finally gives in. You know why I'm right? Because the title of the episode is “My Kingdom For A Pie”. I check the video....Dammit; they bring in the fudge cake; which Tummi is in shock since it smells like the fudge cake Grammi makes. This is why sometimes Jymn Magon's stupid episode titles fail: It's because if you are going to payoff Tummi's urges and the title card; then the title should be “My Kingdom For A Cake”. It's not like most kids get the parody of the title; but at least the whole thing is paid off. Here; the kids are wondering; “If Dukie is going to succeed in making Tummi give up; why not use an ACTUAL pie as it is a “kingdom for a pie”.”? Idiots!
So Dukie cuts a slice of cake and Tummi eats his hat and no sells. I'm glad someone is paying attention here. So Dukie claims that he has to throw it away and tries to seduce him with it again. Tummi struggles a bit with his mouth and then finally gives up. Damn you Dukie and your not believable Krackpotkin Plans. Tummi tries to grab the cake; but Dukie holds him back as he calls Tummi a bear of reason. I shake my head in disbelief. So we head into the forest as Toadie keeps teasing Tummi with the plate of fudge cake as Tummi wants a crumb. Dukie sezs he can AFTER he shows them the location of Gummi Glenn. Tummi claims that he'll show them all right. Dukie of course proclaims that he has him eating out of his hand. Oh lord; please let this episode end quickly. So we head to the same stump from earlier and we have a logic break because there are a lot more trees in this area. See; this is where recycled backgrounds are a GOOD thing. So Tummi opens the stump and tells him that this is the entrance to Gummi Glenn and he'll go first. Dukie grabs Tummi and drops him on his ass because he doesn't trust him. So he jumps in and yelps with Toadie coming after. Tummi closes the stump and proclaims good riddance to bad rubbish. I would call it stupid and dumb rubbish; but whatever. Gad and Zook turn out to be the smartest heels in the entire episode as they try to grab him; but they have a meeting of the skulls. And it wasn't at the stinkweed swamp. Well; at least they got how dumb it was at least. Which doesn't bode well for Dukie's heat. Tummi apologizes and eats the fudge cake as the ogres see stars. Tummi walks off as we see inside Dukie and Toadie in darkness. Toadie deduces that this is not Gummi Glenn. NO?! REALLY?!
Dukie blows him off and in of the most silliest BS&P moments ever; Dukie punches Toadie in the face and the flash allows us a split second moment of the punch being shown to make contact. How dumb was that? Then we hear a toilet flushing (Huh?) and then we see Dukie and Toadie get spilled out of a sewer pipe (in THIS era? Riiigggghhhhttttt) and they fall into the sewer swamp near Drekmore which is in the background. I wonder if Gruffi did this just to get on Dukie's bad side? Toadie pops up proclaiming that this is not a good time to ask for a raise and Dukie is mad. Well; he has no one but himself to blame for this one as we head to Gummi Glenn AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we head to the dining room to see the GANG OF GUMMI WAY at the table as Grammi brings in the fudge cake and Tummi enters and greets them. Gruffi wonders where he has been and Tummi has missed lunch and almost all of dinner. Tummi proclaims that he's not hungry as Grammi checks Tummi's head. Laughable logic break: When Grammi removes her arm on the closeup; the arm changes to Tummi's arm! Bad form there guys. Tummi proclaims that he doesn't want to think about food for a long time; or a week, whichever comes sooner. Gruffi proclaims that he has some willpower after all as Tummi and Gruffi rub the stomach and that willpower is painful as we end the episode at 10:40 approx. What a silly ass episode this was? On the other hand; at least Tummi played it smart here and it didn't turn into a dumbass episode. Several animation errors didn't help here either. ** ¼ (45%).
The World According to Gusto: We begin this one at the Quick Tunnels as Gruffi is greasing up the Quick Cars. Gusto agrees with him as we zoom out and see him painting the Quick Cars in rainbow colors. HAHA! They run new; they look new and they make Gruffi's anger renew. Gruffi doubts it as he obviously forgot to do the greasing BEFORE the paint dried. HA! Arte Deco flies in and points out the fashion faux pas on Gruffi and Gruffi finally notices. HAHA! Well; that is what you get for greasing cars while the paint didn't dry. You have no one but yourself to blame for that one Gruffi. Gusto gleefully mocks that one for me and Gruffi blows it off. So Cubbi comes in and he is eating a cookie on the steps and his cheeks are puffy. So Cubbi slides down the stairs willing to help; but makes the silly error of doing flips and he flies off the railing and lands right on Gruffi. HAHA! See; that's why Kit slides down while looking backwards. Lots more control that one. Gruffi blows him off for not following DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) and I can only laugh at that. It's difficult to take Gruffi seriously on following DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) when he didn't follow the rule of wet paint. So Grammi walks down the steps and apparently he isn't supposed to eat the cookie BEFORE dinner. Okay; that rule is whack! I can understand the sliding down the banister part since Gruffi could have been legit hurt and Cubbi was doing it all wrong anyway; but no cookies BEFORE dinner? I thought I already pointed out that desert spoiling meals was an absolute myth. You would think Tummi would have pointed that out a dozen times before (last episode notwithstanding of course). See; responsible bears follow the rules and according to Gruffi; it's THE GUMMI WAY! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I cannot take that seriously from a bear who has stripes of rainbow paint on his shirt after greasing the Quick Cars. I really cannot.
So Gusto barges in and gives the cookie back to Cubbi proclaiming that there is only one rule to follow and that there are no rules. I have to take issue with that. Gusto does have a set of rules. Rule #1: Be as vain as you can be. Rule #2: Always annoy Gruffi when you have half the chance. Rule #3: Flop and cry like a baby when the artist is sucked out of you. Rule #4: Do as many masterpieces as you can within a three season span. Otherwise; it's NO HOLDS BARRED~! He even creates Rule #5: Use Arte Deco as an international object. In this case using him as a paintbrush. He paints the car with Arte as Gruffi is not amused. Cubbi is enjoying this NO HOLDS BARRED and wants to do it....So Grammi steals the cookie back and tells him to live with Gusto and his lack of rules. And Gusto is SHOCKED and APPALLED. Notice Gusto's face when Grammi looks at him. In other words; Gusto a freakin hypocrite and a liar and we all know it; unless you are Cubbi. However; Grammi then contradicts herself by invoking the rule of staying for at least only one night. Cubbi loves this as Gusto is stammering like an idiot. Can you smell the hypocritical liar; or do I have to spell it out for you?! Cubbi and Gusto embrace and Gusto decides to do it after all and teach Cubbi a thing or two. Gruffi has the trademark pose and is afraid of that. Yeah; it's because he's afraid Cubbi will play the whole wet paint thing as a prank. I would LOVE to see that Gruffo. Grammi tells him to let Gusto because there is one more rule: NEVER argue with Grammi. I agree; we all saw what happened the first time eh? It involves pasta right in the kisser.
So we head to Gusto's waterfall home as we head up the elevator with the TRIO OF BROKEN RULES as they enter the house and Gusto gives Cubbi the grand tour. Cubbi is in awe as he asks where he should put his bag and Gusto tells him to put it anywhere. Cubbi then remembers Gruffi's rule that there is a place for everything and Gusto tells him to loosen up. After all; it's NO HOLDS BARRED~! I would love to see Cubbi throw the bag in Gusto's kisser. After all; it's NO HOLDS BARRED~! He puts his feet up and Cubbi hangs the bag on the golden coat rack which so happens to be one of Gusto's masterpieces. So Gusto tells him to put it somewhere else. BOTCHAMANIA BABEE~! Remember Gusto; you said, NO HOLDS BARRED~! So Cubbi tries to put it somewhere else; but Gusto keeps telling him to put it somewhere else. Heh. Can you sense that Gusto is being hypocritical here? Cubbi is not amused as we head inside Gusto's pottery workshop as Gusto shapes a bowl using his pottery machine. Cubbi is inspired as this is one instance where manga lines actually help a scene rather than take away from it. Gusto calls this one of a kind as he gives Cubbi a try and Cubbi slaps it and it gets completely unstable as Gusto tells him to slow down. In a NO HOLD BARRED setting. See; you aren't supposed to spin the wheel that fast as Cubbi asks why and we get the result as Arte Deco gets creamed. HAHA! Ummm; that's why Cubbi. But keep it up; you'll make Gusto admit his hypocrisy soon enough lad.
Gusto goes over and tells Arte not to ruffle his feather because he's so vain and the wheel comes off the pottery machine. So there's the second reason why. And the wheel forces Gusto into the shelves and he gets entombed in his own vain pottery while Arte escapes unharmed. HAHA! I am so loving this episode; I really am. See; the whole point of this is that Gusto said to Cubbi that there are no rules; but in reality Gusto does have a certain number of rules to follow. He's just a lot less strict and loose on them. But there are still rules to follow, mostly the important ones that don't MURDER him. However; Cubbi is so absolute in that when Gusto means no rules; he MEANS no rules even though there are. I love this because this is not JUST a lesson of following DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) in Cubbi's case; but not being hypocritical in saying that there are no rules in the case of Gusto. That's naunce and both need to learn that fast; or someone is going to be killed legit. Gusto pops the pot from his head as Arte mocks him good. That is so him indeed! HAHA! So we scene change as Gusto is in the room sweeping up the place and he feels sort of happy and just decides to let Cubbi making a mess not get to him. I have to admit; I wish more people would let it go too; if only because it just makes more mess and causes infected left feet. (Kit: You're speaking from experience I see. ) And Gusto wanted to clear the shelves for weeks anyway. Somehow; I don't think this was exactly what he had in mind to do it though as he hears a noise and we see Cubbi playing on the elevator. HEE HEE!
We pull up and the rope is burning and smoking on the pulley as Gusto comes out as Cubbi pulls the rope and we go up. Gusto takes Cubbi out and tells him to slow down because this is not a toy. Sadly; he foolishly steps in the elevator and forgets to step out since he's scolding Cubbi for having fun and the rope snaps and Gusto freefalls down and takes a MAN-SIZED bump on the ground. Oh; and the elevator gets destroyed of course. HAHA! Dangerous? What made you think that Gusto Vaino? I thought you said...you guessed it. God; I'm having fun ranting this one. Gusto gets up and he has had enough and it's time to lay down THE LAW BABEE~! What law Gusto Vaino? We all know THE LAW with you is to be as vain as possible. Cubbi rightfully calls him out on it because it is NO HOLDS BARRED~! And he sounds like Gruffi too. Gusto recoils and realizes that the youngster is right. Yeah; because we cannot have you realizing that you were a hypocrite too soon; since that would end the episode right now. And we cannot have that because that would kill the roll this episode is into right now. Nice to see the writer and Gusto realize that too. So he has to watch himself and that logically leads to...
Inside Gusto's painting room as Gusto has painted the biggest Andy Warholish painting in history. And he's doing it to take his mind off Cubbi; who so happens to be inside and cosplaying hero with Arte. The funniest thing about this is that he does this in HALF of the episodes when he is the FOCUS character. So this is Cubbi's idea of reeling it in. Cubbi swings the chandelier and Arte Deco is the dragon as he bumps into a mobile and Cubbi circles around the footstool (NOT THAT ONE!) as Gusto tries to reason with him. In a....you guessed it. And then Arte drops and bumps Gusto into his paint and we have the ugly mess. HAHA! I love it! Gusto has truly let his mouth write a check his ass cannot cash. Gusto tries to get up; but he slips and slides on wet paint (Gruffi: IN YOUR FACE GUSTO VAINO!) and bumps into the ladder as we slide with the ladder as he slips on the rug and then stops short of the waterfall; which causes him to climb the ladder in perfect position to go through the waterfall and grab onto the stone table top on the ground. Gusto gleefully sums up his plight as the ladder pushes up and Gusto freefalls into the drink. HAHA! We need more NO HOLD BARRED episodes like this one. Seriously we do. Even TALE F'N SPIN! Cubbi calls for Gusto as he pops up and he loses his hat in the process and spits water. Yes; the audio of this stream is about ten seconds behind the video as Cubbi apologizes and wonders if he's mad. Gusto gets out and he looks insane now as he proclaims that when he said NO HOLDS BARRED he meant NO HOLDS BARRED! Yeah; this is NO HOLDS BARRED; but I betcha he didn't expect this. He goes on one of the funniest rants about running out of paint and grabs his hat as the frog is inside when he puts it on. Yeap; he's mad....both ways. I love it! And Gusto has no one but himself to blame for this episode too.
So we fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on (oh was it the frog croaking? Who knows what goes through Eisner's mind sometimes) as we head to BEFORE HAPPY HOUR in the hills as we pan down to the meadow where Gusto is filling up his sacks with Gummi Berries. He puts them into the pressure cooker as he realizes why he lives alone. So what is Arte Deco's excuse then Gusto Vaino? And speaking of the pink devil bear himself; he slides down the hill with a bucket of Gummi Berries. He circles around with it and Gusto grabs it and puts it into the GB pressure press. He does tell him to settle down. Cubbi states that he cannot help it because this has been the best day of his life. I fully agree with him. NO HOLDS BARRED has become the best day of my life rant wise. Cubbi proclaims that he wants to grow up just like him. I like that idea; can you imagine Gruffi's face when THAT happens? He would want to choke on his own greasing oil just to save his life. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gusto twists the pressure press and we have red juice. On the other hand; he kind of likes the thought of Cubbi being like him. Yeah; nothing warms my heart more than a vain, hypocritical liar. Gruffi would not live past three weeks with two Gusto's. So Gusto takes the kettle pots and wants to watch the sun set as he takes his vial of roided juice and drinks up. Cubbi isn't so sure about this because Gruffi states to save the juice. Gusto blows it off because it's NO HOLDS BARRED~! Wow; Gusto has become insane. You know deep inside he wants to tell Cubbi the truth; but he cannot because that would kill his vanity and give him character development and if there is one thing Eisner hates; it's character development.
So Gusto bounces away with the kettles and Cubbi decides to concede and drink his vial of roided juice and it's BUTT BOUNCING TIME! So we bounce up to the top of the tree. Both watch the sunset in awe as Gusto proclaims this to be the perfect end to the day as he turns around and Cubbi has somehow teleported out. Gusto bounces down and notices Cubbi walking away towards the FOREST OF THORNY TREES. Gusto gets on his case about bouncing at night as Cubbi points out that it's NO HOLDS BARRED! Funny since he questioned drinking the juice without due cause earlier. Cubbi claims that he was just taking a shortcut home. Gusto stops him from talking further as he notices that the road leads straight to Drekmore. Cubbi tells him to lighten up and invokes the Gruffi pose because it's....you guessed it. And he sounds like Gruffi again. Gusto of course has had enough of this and finally reveals his hypocrisy for Cubbi to hear. So without a word; Cubbi walks away stage left just to allow Gusto the rope to hang himself. HAHA! Gusto opened his mouth one too many times and his absolution is going to get Cubbi killed. Gusto goes after him wondering what to do make him listen to him as we head deeper into Drekmore forest AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Toadie is blowing off Gad and Zook for not listening to him. Gad and Zook are eating grass from the wagon and gleefully ignoring him. HAHA! I see the NO HOLD BARRED rule even affects heels too. Toadie is not amused as he tells them that Dukie needs the fungus to feed the other ogres and both ogres claims to be faithful ogres too. HAHA! Toadie has the Gruffi pose on full blast as he hears noises...
...and we cut to Cubbi in the dark forest as he admits that this wasn't such as great idea as Gusto pops from the conviently placed bushes and yells that he has something to say to him. Bad move Gusto Vaino; because Toadie and the ogres jump from the bushes in an ambush. Not a smart move at all Gusto. Just because it's NO HOLDS BARRED doesn't mean this was such a good idea. Gad and Zook grab them as Cubbi asks what to do and Gusto wants to plead for their lives as they get dumped in the fungus wagon. Toadie proclaims that Dukie will like this as they cart the wagon away. Here's mistake #1 for the ogres: They fail to...ummmm..you know...ummm...tie up Cubbi and Gusto?! Even the Troggles aren't half as dumb as these ogres. So Cubbi smells the fungus and it makes him sick. Gusto then gets inspired and has a Krackpotkin plan to get them out of this. Now this time they will play by DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) as we scene change as Toadie thinks this will make him look good. Gad and Zook blow it off and then we hear some decent acting of sickness by Cubbi and Gusto as they have spots all over them (another spot lifted from Teddy Ruxpin I see.). Take one guess how the spot got there. Anyhow; the ogres fall for it as they grab them and Gusto proclaims that they have Gummi-oli-osis. I think this is the same disease that fell Crock in Crock Around The Clock. And it can be spread like mad to ogres too. It also makes them very sick as Gad and Zook drop the Gummi Bears onto the ground. Zook notices the spots on his fingers and he's “infected” (codeword: Wet paint! Gruffi: Now you know how I feel you morons!). Gad checks Zook's eyes and he doesn't look so good. But they never looked good Gad. Well at least on the brains side.
Toadie blows this all off because he's perfectly fine. Gusto touches him and tells him that as long as he doesn't see spots before his eyes; he'll be fine. Cubbi paints a conveniently placed rock with colored spots and then hides as Toadie turns around and Gusto blends in with the rock. Toadie of course falls for it, hook, line and sinker. Toadie panics as Gusto circles around telling him that he really got a bad case of the DISEASE OF GUMMI DOOM~! Gusto claims that it isn't so bad as long as he doesn't feel dizzy. Of course Toadie is too dumb to notice and he gets dizzy as hell. HAHA! The ogres sit on their asses in pain as Toadie ponders how Dukie will get along with him now that he will die and Gusto claims that there is one cure for this. So Gusto gives him the NOTE OF LYING RULES and they must follow them to the letter as prescribed by the Great Gummi Doctor. Oh boy; this will be fun to mock; I assure thee. Rule #1: Take three baths a day. OUCH! Even clean freak humans don't go that far; even with soap. Toadie is SHOCKED and the rest are APPALLED. Rule #2: Scrub spots with one small ogre. UH OH! Toadie....run NOW! You are now officially ROOM FEED~! Gad and Zook ponder over finding a small ogre and of course Toadie is RIGHT THERE waiting to be targeted. Toadie panics; drop the paper and runs like the wind. An easterly wind as Gad and Zook chase him right out of the episode. See you in King Igthorn ultra-cool sidekick. Cubbi grabs the paper and proclaims that some rules do help as Gusto and Cubbi bail stage left while Gusto does every booking rule in the book. Well as many as he can get in before the scene changer. HAHA!
So we head to Gummi Glenn in the morning as we head to the table as babyfaces are having lots of pancakes. And Gruffi is giving a lot of Gruffi poses in the process. Cubbi proclaims that he had a good time and Gruffi is now amused by it as Cubbi ribs him. Cubbi pours syrup on the pancakes as he proclaims that Gusto taught him the importance of obeying the rules. Well; the life and death ones anyway. Gruffi is surprised as Gusto acts all vain and as if he didn't realize how much of a freakin hypocrite he acted throughout it all. And he learned to nab all of Gruffi's pancakes and eat them much to Gruffi's surprise. HAHA! Gruffi looks shocked as we end the episode and Season Five at 10:40 approx. One of the best shorts in DTVA history and in some way it was much funner to watch than The Fence Sitter. Cubbi learned how to follow the rules and Gusto learned not to write checks his ass cannot catch. And Gruffi gets screwed; it's the perfect episode. ***** (100%).
THE REVIEW LINE
So we end season five with a whiplash mixed bag of shorts. My Kingdom For A Pie was a joke for the most part. I mean the whole premise of Tummi being suckered in to betray his family for a fudge cake was downright stupid to write. Although the writers did manage to make it a lot less stupid by having Tummi resist and then double cross them at the finish and maintain his heat; but this only served to make Dukie look weaker than he already was. I mean we expect to believe that Dukie would believe that feeding Tummi who has tricked Dukie several times before; most so in The Oracle and Tummi's Last Stand? Seriously; we are expected to believe that? And it's in the fifth season and that kind of plot device just makes the heels look stupid. And if you are going to call it My Kingdom For A Pie; then use a damn pie as the device for Tummi to give up on instead of the fudge cake. Otherwise; change the title to My Kingdom For A Cake. It's not THAT hard guys. And several animation mistakes didn't help this either. I'm just glad they didn't make Tummi look incredibly stupid either because that would have made this episode an easy DUD.
And then we go to the other extreme in The World According To Gusto. This is probably the best short in the entire history of DTVA; even surpassing my earlier rant of The Fence Sitter. The reasons are three fold: (1) Gusto's mouth opens one too many times and therefore Cubbi believes his every word in absolution; even though Gusto is clearly a moral relativist. Moral realativists aren't really bad people (although Gusto is vain; so he might not be everyone's cup of tea.); but Gusto made himself look bad because he lied to Cubbi about having no rules when Gusto is extremely loose with the absolute pointless rules (like the one with Grammi and the cookie) and follows the life and death rules; which are the ones that are needed to truly live (such as don't spin the pottery machine too hard or you can get killed legit.). Thus Gusto looks like a hypocrite and the fact that Grammi told Cubbi to live with Gusto and Gusto's reaction proved right away that Gusto opened his mouth too much. (2) Cubbi's not realizing the naunces until the Gummi Berry Juice use and ignoring Gusto by taking a shortcut through Drekmore. Remember that Gusto goes by a different set of rules; not total NO HOLDS BARRED. However; Cubbi doesn't realize the naunce of Gusto's decision and makes Gusto's life miserable. It's not really Cubbi's fault as much as it is Gusto for being dishonest from the very start. (3) Both guys learning the same lesson in a different way: Cubbi learned that rules are important and Gusto learned that lying and being dishonest can made you into Dukie's playthings. The whole episode was fun to watch and had good pacing, funny moments, a really funny insane rant from Gusto and Gruffi getting screwed by Gusto twice. I mean what more could you ask for?! There's your PLUS.... FIVE ….STARS!
So that actually ends season five of Gummi Bears believe it or not (The funny thing is that the very stream for My Kingdom For A Pie that I felt was useless; turned out to be reliable after all thanks to updating the Flash Player) as now we have only two episodes left. The count stands with five thumbs up, seven thumbs in the middle and two thumbs down. For the series; it's 34 thumbs up, 35 thumbs in the middle and eight thumbs down. Considering that we have done 93 of the 95 episodes; I'm kind of glad of the ratio of great to merely good and from merely good to bad. So now we have one story left; the two part series finale King Igthorn left to do and then Gummi Bears is 100%. That is next weekend. So; a Happy Thanksgiving Canadian style....and....a....
Thumbs down for My Kingdom For A Pie and a thumbs up for The World According To Gusto and I'll see you all next time.