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Patchwork Gummi
Reviewed: 09/04/2011
Swept In A Flood Of Dukie Cluelessness....
So we march on with this episode featuring Lady Bane and Sunni losing a quilt. Yeah; this doesn't sound fun. Or does it? Let's rant on shall we....?
This episode is written by Kayte Kuch and Sheryl Scarborough. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation Australia.
We begin this one in Gummi Glenn in a room as Sunni is cosplaying a princess again. It appears to be actually a storage room with the CHEST OF DEMONS as the door opens and in comes Tummi wearing a pot on his head cosplaying knight dueling with Cubbi. Tummi is using his salami stick to counter the wooden sword as apparently Tummi stole Cubbi's chocolate chip cookie (Memo to animators: finished cookies do not look like uncooked cookie dough. Just so you would like to know.) Tummi trips back right into the CHEST OF DEMONS Sunni was standing on and plops into a heap of grey cloth. The chest opens to reveal a really cool rug which shines like gold. Umm; Sunwoo, the adults are talking now, please go away. Tummi apologizes for Sunni falling and Sunni wants them to go away because she was hear first...and then she notices the rug. She proclaims that it would make a neat cape as she grabs the right end while Cubbi grabs the left end because it would make a good drawbridge. In terms of less degrading; Sunni's idea is better. Tug of war children's edition ensues. Zummi enters the door and is SHOCKED and APPALLED as he stops the tug of war because it's not an ordinary quilt. It's a quilt from the ancients. Ooooooo.
So we head to the book room as Zummi has the quilt on the table and the GANG OF GUMMI WAY examine it. Grammi wonders if this is the great quilt and Zummi checks through the book of the Great Gummi's and he's sure of it. He finds the page and adjusts his glasses as he reads that it's a patchwork of ancient Gummi Bear history according to the book. Sunni wonders how she could get a patch on there and Zummi explains that special deeds like helping others are needed. Grammi wraps up the quilt because it's too nice to leave in the dust; so she is going to hang it on the north wall of the main hall because the light shines better that way. Needless to say; Gruffi wants it on the south wall of the main hall and they yell at each other. Nice to see the writers to point out who enables these playground insults on the kids. Zummi tells Sunni to put the quilt back until the final decision is made. Good luck on that; it could takes months knowing those two bears.
Sunni sighs as we see Sunni back in the room putting the quilt back in the CHEST OF DEMONS not liking this idea. See; she wishes for Princess Calla to see this quilt. Here's an idea Sunni: Invite her here and show her the quilt. See, easy. Don't do it the other way and risk...Oh forget it; she's segue into the Quick Car already AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). And after going through the ramp outside; she loses the quilt in the wind in record time as the Quick Car flies into the other cave. Did I mention how incredibly dumb a teenybopper diva like Sunni is? So the quilt lies onto the log near a road where a peasant pulling a wagon of junk by himself is complaining about his future earnings and then he sees the rug on the log and since he's desperate for a raise he takes it. The peasant is wearing a straw hat for those who care about such details. He puts it on the wagon as we see Sunni hiding behind the tree. Sunni proclaims that he needs to stop him before he sells the quilt. Sunni needs to be stopped from doing obviously stupid things like taking quilts without taking proper precautions. So we see the peasant pull his wagon towards Castle Dumbwin....ERRR...I mean Duwynn. Sunni follows him and.....
….we head inside the throne room as King Gregor is talking to Lady Bane. Okay; THAT is a real surprise to me. Despite her unadulterated hatred for Dukie; I would have thought that she would have no love for Gregor either; but she's asking for help in finding Gummi Bears to him. Tuxford whisper yells to one of the knights calling it preposterous. Gregor continues his official line that no one has seen a Gummi Bear in 500 years. While for about 90% of Dumbwin; that is true, but Cavin and Calla have and WE KNOW IT and so does Lady Bane as she shows Gregor the Gummi medallion. If Gregor helps then she will make it worth his while as she walks up the steps and Gregor calls it absurd because he has a kingdom to run. I'm guessing that he doesn't want to marry Lady Bane; which is fine, since Lady Bane isn't all that compatible with anyone except Dukie and Dukie screwed that one up (with Sunni and Cubbi helping of course.). Lady Bane is PISSED OFF as Gregor wants her escorted out and Tuxford and knight #1 have no reservations against doing so. Bane's red gem on her forehead glows as she allows Tuxford to get close and then uses the Float spell as a sample of her stinging revenge. Look Lazybones; if she wants to leave by herself, LET HER! They bounce off the wall as a shield comes down and Lady Bane proclaims that they should wait for her revenge as she storms out. Gregor is shocked, SHOCKED I SAY!
So we head to a sky shot of the marketplace inside Dumbwin as the peasant is showing off his quilt to some denizens as we pan over to the alleyway with Sunni dressed up in a black robe with Princess Calla as she points out that if she doesn't buy the quilt back; then Gruffi will throw a fit. See; if she had just went to the castle without it and brought Calla back to Gummi Glenn, then the episode would be over in five minutes. Princess Calla agrees to as she runs back into the street to find some money and then is forced to bail because here comes Lady Bane's coach driving at 100 miles per hour. Princess Calla blows it off as the Troggles are one track minds; but violations of THE FASHION POLICE OF LAW one track minds. Lady Bane is still PISSED off as she does the Gruffi pose and her Gummi dog tag (She HAS one on her belly button?) glows. And then it turns into the Gummi medallion when Bane grabs it. Bad animation there sirs. She proclaims that it's Gummi magic and looks around and notices the peasant trying to sell the quilt as she proclaims that this is it. Ummm; I think the animators ran out of time here because there is no indication of a glow from the quilt to demonstrate that Lady Bane knows where it is. Bane orders the Troggles to stop the stage coach and they do so suddenly as Bane does a torpedo spot right with her head on the seat. OUCH!
Bane walks to the peasant and offers a sack of money to him to buy the quilt and the man doesn't even think twice of accepting the deal much to the disdain of Sunni because it's Lady Bane. So Calla runs in with her money and Sunni points out Lady Bane's coach. Calla isn't about to let her go that easily as she runs in to the coach and offers to buy the quilt back. Bane no sells; so Sunni grabs the quilt and we have the second tug of war (well physical one anyway) spot of the episode as Sunni calls it a family heirloom. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Lady Bane notices some paws and blows Sunni's cover as she tries to grab her but Calla grabs her back and shoves Bane into the stage coach. Sunni and Calla bail as the Troggles go after her while Bane shoots thunderbolts from her fingers to steal some peasants' collection of pots and throws it at the girls and they duck allowing the box to miss by about four feet. The chase goes on for a bit until Sunni and Calla use the secret passageway to escape and confuse the Troggles. Bane is still angry that they let them get away; but wants to be taken home away as she goes into the stage coach and the stage coach rides out of Dumbwin stage left. Sunni and Calla pop from the passageway and back into the alleyway as Sunni complains about what to do now.
So we ride outside Dumbwin into the forest as the stage coach is making perfect time and we head inside as Lady Bane examines the quilt and she concludes that it is a Gummi quilt made from ancient Gummi magic. I guess the Gummi medallion can give out false positives. Soon; she'll unlock it's secrets as she smiles in an evil way as we cut to the forest and we hear rumbling and a boulder destroying a stand of trees as we see Gad and Zook bowling for trees. Well; dollars are made of paper and paper is made from trees; so it makes perfect sense anyway. Gad's bowling style would probably be stolen by Fanboy if Fanboy was ever interested in bowling and he bowls the boulder down the hill and it bounces like my balls did when I bowl. Needless to say; the boulder ends up destroying the stage coach riding. HOLY CRAP! And then it bounces down the hill and takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the tree. Realize that a woman is in the coach and you'll realize why. Again; no male on female contact? What no male on female contact? Groans abound as we see the horses run away out of sight and free as horse would be. Then we see the Troggles are lying in a heap on the ground groaning as Lady Bane comes out really pissed off. She notices Gad and Zook and the red gem on her forehead glows and both ogres float into the air and floats them to her as she decides that since her horses are gone; they are HER slaves for the day to take her home. Both ogres get dropped on their bellies as ogres agree with her and grab her stage coach and realign it perfectly. Sadly; they go the opposite way much to the protestations of Bane; but the ogres insist that this is a short cut.....
….and that shortcut leads to a sky shot of Drekmore. Oh goody! That means it's round two of Bane Vs. Dukie. This episode just keeps getting better and better. The ogres drop the stage coach as Lady Bane pops out protesting this outrage. Oh stop it Miss Bane. Just kick Dukie's ass like you did in Life of the Party. Bane blows off Zook as she walks into the castle proclaiming that she cannot wait any longer to study the quilt. So we head inside the war room as Dukie is playing chess with Gregor as the king as Dukie thinks luring him away from the flank and bashing him off the table is the solution to him becoming king of Dumbwin. Toadie likes it; and then he cowers behind Dukie because Miss Bane is back and more angerier than ever. Dukie of course is still acting like a clueless gentlemen in front of her. Lady Bane backhands Dukie with a weak shot; but the power of magic knocks Dukie down anyway. HAHA! Memo to Dukie: Your sexist act doesn't work on someone who you screwed during a dinner party. Bane clears the chess table and places the quilt on the table as she has important business to attend to and she shoves Dukie and Toadie out the door and slams it behind them because she wishes to not be disturbed. Heh.
Ultra-cool sidekick Toadie isn't going to take this lying down and wants to walk in to protest; but Dukie grabs him by the ears and points out that that she's just playing hard to get as he drops Toadie again. Ummm; not quite Dukie. Replace hard with impossible and you got it right on the button. Toadie calls it very hard as he dropped on his tail bone. We head inside as Bane uses the magic lens of doom on the quilt and she was right about all as there is Gummi history, Gummi traditions and Gummi good deeds which repulses her like a good heel would be in these situations. She touches the thundercloud part of the guilt because it's the Gummi magic part that she wants. She tries to finish her spiel; but the door opens and Dukie interrupts him like the sexist that he's turning out to be. You know someone realizes that they have no heat left when they have to resort to the wrong type of heat to get over. He brings the OUT OF NOWHERE flowers and Bane is repulsed by them instantly. No, really, I'm as SHOCKED as you are. So Bane uses her thunderbolt fingers on the thunderbolt portion of the storm cloud and the storm cloud falls over Dukie and rains on him. HAHA! Sadly; it lasts a lot shorter than when Darkwing Duck got it in Water Way To Go 2. There's a good reason why I put the number two there. Dukie is still as clueless as ever pointing out that they needed water anyway and Lady Bane actually laughs out loud on that response.
Bane runs out and onto the castle terrance as she starts a lovely storm cloud and proclaims that she'll get her revenge on Gregor and Dumbwin as she'll use the forces of nature to destroy Dumbwin as the quilt glows gold again. I wish she would add a hate plague; that worked so well in Teddy Ruxpin anyway. So we cut to the window as leafs fly as Toadie proclaims that Lady Bane is peeved (and yes he did say peeved). NO?! REALLY?! Dukie shrugs it off because he loves her mood swings anyway. So we change scenes to the wagon being destroyed earlier near a tree and pan over to Sunni and Calla noticing ogre tracks and Sunni doesn't like it one bit because Bane is in cahoots with Dukie. No, not really Sunni. Sunni now wishes that she never took it out of Gummi Glenn and cue the windbags because this episode doesn't have enough of them it seems. And Gusto isn't around either. The storm clouds arrive as a thunderbolt splits a tree in two and Calla and Sunni dodge that; only to get overwhelmed by a flood as it sweeps through and that ends the segment 11 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue the flood as Calla and Sunni get swept away (and apparently; it's already destroyed property judging by the number of international objects in the water). We get the waterfall spot because river like devices in cartoons are no good without one. Calla and Sunni try to swim (You DARE do that to waterfall spot?) and it isn't working as Sunni grabs the floating OUT OF NOWHERE vial of roided juice which is dumb because we never saw it out of her pocket to begin with. Sadly; a tree branch OUT OF NOWHERE snags it from her. Oh great; now the logic breaks are competing against each other to see which one can outdo the other in sheer absurdness. We twist around and try some more swimming as Sunni grabs onto a conveniently placed tree root and Calla hangs onto her. Sunni helps Calla out of the water and they notice the storm is heading for Castle Dumbwin. And this storm is an anthro is it has arms and it shoots thunderbolts and sets the drawbridge on fire. We see Gregor in amazement on the terrance as he ponders about this storm and in runs Lazybones proclaiming that they cannot find Princess Calla. Gregor promises to keep looking until she is found as we head to Gummi Glenn as we head in the hallway as Tummi and Cubbi run to Grammi to inform them that Sunni is gone. Zummi runs in with water dripping on the floor stammering as the quilt is gone too. Zummi points out in the Great Book of Gummi that the quilt has magic powers that would be dangerous if they fell into the wrong hands.
Zummi wants that quilt found. Gruffi thinks he knows where it is and opens the door to try to find Sunni; but then gets flooded back into the room forcing them to close the door again. So we head outside in the forest as there is a lot of rain; but no real damage done as Calla is sitting on a log squeezing the rain out of her hair. The storm has a mind of it's own and it's all Lady Bane's. Calla wants to go for reinforcements but Sunni thinks that Gummi Glenn could be gone too. It's all Sunni's fault (admitted as such by her) and she must undo the mess as she walks off stage left. Calla follows her and we head to Drekmore AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we see Bane in the room at the table writing something with the red feather and the feather tip breaks. Even that gets Lady Bane pissed off. Apparently; she's writing a list of demands to give to Castle Dumbwin as she then calls for Dukie. Dukie enters with Toadie as we see water dripping into a bucket from the ceiling. Even though it's not raining. Bane demands another feather and Dukie calls her sweetums and runs out. Bane blows Dukie off of course; because she hates that pet name. I don't get how Rebecca is such a jerkass? Seriously; I don't.
We go into the hallway as Dukie is loving this; and the hallway is covered with dripping buckets of water as Toadie is not loving this. Dukie laughs it off because Dumbwin is his as Toadie proclaims that he should count his chickens before they hatched. This would have been funnier if Dukie had finished this sequence by plucking a feather from a chicken's ass at the window outside instead of a vulture like we got here. Dukie returns with the feather and Bane grabs it from him blowing him off. Dukie bows and asks if she wants anything else and Bane states that there is one thing as she grabs the top of Dukie's suit and pulls it down allowing Dukie to be in the right position to write the list of demands on Dukie's back. HAHA! Toadie gleefully sums it up and of course he's touching the quilt and I betcha Bane gets mighty pissed off and drops Toadie on his face. I check the video.....Dammit; it doesn't happen. BOO! HISS! Thanks a lot Sunni for demanding more face time in place of a funny spot. I hope it was well worth it you vile little diva!
So we head outside as Sunni and Calla are walking on the edge of the window as Sunni opens the window and drops in and grabs the quilt on the table. Calla tries to explain that Toadie has the quilt (How smart is the ultra-cool sidekick to know THAT would occur?) but Sunni is too determined to redeem herself as she gets dropped on her ass on the floor and the quilt covers her. Bane and Dukie turn around as Toadie pleads for forgiveness and uncovers Sunni as everyone is in SHOCK. Sunni grabs the quilt and both she and Calla (who decides to join in) bail stage right. So Bane counters with her red gem forehead by floating the chair and destroys it despite missing it's intended target by about ten feet. She still has better aim than a vile god does though. That is still enough for the Troggles to grab Sunni and Calla anyway. Bane grabs the quilt back as she realizes that she now has Gregor's daughter. So she orders Dukie to go to Castle Dumbwin with her list of demands and Dukie gleefully agrees to it because he's still in love. Bane proclaims that she'll make an offer even Gregor cannot refuse as she laughs wonderfully and that ends the segment 15 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to Castle Dumbwin throne room as Dukie reads off the scroll to Gregor. Lady Bane wants gold & silver, the crown jewels, the kingdom and wants Gregor to beg for forgiveness. Sounds like a typical heel response. Gregor refuses to sell of course; so Dukie mentions his daughter Calla is captive as Gregor is in shock. Dukie then is surprised himself because his name is not mentioned. Ummm; Dukie, if she mentions that she wants the kingdom turned over to her; then that's an indication that she wants to be queen of Dumbwin. You just got screwed Dukie and you damn well deserved it. Sadly; Dukie is clueless as usual; even more so than Toadie. You are hosed as a heel when the OGRE is smarter than you. Gregor decides to concede defeat as long as Calla is safe. Then we head into the forest as we see the closeup of the Gummi medallion as Zummi and Gruffi are using it as a tracker to find the quilt. Then we hear Dukie's voice as Gruffi and Zummi bail into a conviently placed hallowed log as we see Dukie on horseback with Tuxford and Gregor tied up behind them. Dukie is still freakin clueless as he loves making mayhem together and such and such and such. Gregor proclaims that Dukie is being played for as a sap. When the king of Dumbwin is smarter than you; you are hosed as a heel.
Dukie stops and denies this is happening as Gregor asks if she is turning on him. Dukie proclaims that she'll regret it as he rides away and Toadie sums it up for us. Zummi and Gruffi pop from the log as Gruffi is concerned about the witch having their quilt. Well; she is a witch so it's apporos here. No mild sexist dialog here at all; no siree. So we head to Drekmore as we head to the dungeon with Tuxford and Gregor chained to the wall as Dukie steals the crown and wants to return when he chats to Lady Bane. He slams the door behind him and puts the crown on as he is going to use the Igthorn Charm of Death on her to seduce her into giving him the throne instead. Riiiiigggghhhhttttt Dukie! She'll fall for it....suuuurrrreeee. So we head to the same room as the Troggle have Sunni and Calla huddled in a corner as Sunni does the ultra lame “You'll never get away with this” speech that I hate so much as Bane gleefully blows her off for and Sunni backs off as the Troggles have their spears set to profits. Bane tries the red gem technique; but here comes Dukie to ruin the fun of seeing the teenybopper getting her ass kicked. Damn you Dukie! Even more so when you act like Fred Flintstone.
Bane demands to know what took him so long as Dukie enters and proclaims that it takes time to conquer a kingdom as Bane seemly calms down as Dukie gives Bane his hand and the crown as he was a man of his word as Calla is in shock. Dukie breaches the subject of his name being absent from the list of demands and asks if it's a mistake and Bane calls it no mistake; because Dukie is a mistake as she floats him with the red magic of doom right out of the room and drops him on his ass. Dukie protests this outrage; so Bane throws Toadie into Dukie to shut him up. HAHA! Bane dances around the room cheering for victory as Sunni calls this horrible. Yup. And for her; it's about to get worse as Gruffi and Zummi arrive in the window as Gruffi is teasing reading the riot act on Sunni; but Zummi stops him because it's time to go. Sunni goes after the quilt; but Bane grabs it anyway. Gruffi grabs Sunni and the babyfaces try to get out the window; but the thunderbolt storm cloud magic Bane uses stops that. Calla tries to hide behind Dukie's throne chair; but it crumbles to ashes by the thunderbolts. Sunni and Calla hide underneath the bench as Gruffi drinks the vial of roided juice in front of the fireplace. IT'S BUTT BOUNCING TIME~! Gruffi bounces behind Bane and it appears that the animators were BS&P'ed since Gruffi and Bane reacted as if Gruffi bounced off of Bane; but it misses by four feet.
Gruffi dodges the bolts as Dukie opens the door to see what is going on (Toadie calls it a wired pijama party) and Dukie gets SMOKED~! HAHA! Dukie wants to try again later and faints dead away. More dodging as Bane clearly sees that Gruffi isn't getting fried; so she orders the Troggles to get him lest they become footstools. One track mind ensues and it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE TROGGLE THUNDER EDITION~! So they do the Troggle ladder spot and they still miss catching Gruffi by a foot and they tumble down to the ground and get fried I bet..... Nope; worse...For Lady Bane as a candle tips over and the flame makes contact with the quilt. Bane is pissed and Sunni panics as she runs in (much to the concern of Calla) and Sunni grabs the quilt and bails stage left. Sadly; the flames burn her fingers and she gets a actual burn on her hand. HOLY CRAP! Too bad it disappears in the next shot where Bane blows her off for touching her things (projection is such a crazy weapon eh?); but HOLY CRAP! Sunni finds the conveniently placed bucket of water and douses the flames out with it. Man; that fire is so weak that it does absolutely no damage whatsoever to the quilt. Magic Gummi quilt indeed!
Sunni proclaims that the quilt is safe; but Sunni is not according to Miss Bane as she stalks Sunni as the thunderbolts all surround Bane and Sunni hides under the quilt and it glows golden as the thunderbolt deflects off the thundercloud symbol and Bane gets it in the ass as she and the Troggles all run out of the door like a bunch of scalded dogs. Dukie and Toadie gets squashed behind the doors for his troubles. Good bumping there Dukie! Dukie and Toadie are doing their punch drunk selling of it (funny since Kit almost no sold that in Plunder and Lightning Part Three; only holding his nose as if it was broken.). Dukie stops selling and proclaims that this is what happens when he gets double crossed...and so the thunderbolt punishes him by nailing him in the ass. HAHA! See what happens when you take the credit of the hard work of others Dukie?! Dukie holds his smoking ass down the steps as Toadie proclaims that Dukie is in the hot seat this time. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Sunni pops from the quilt and feels bad of the mess she made of things. Zummi comes over and wants to help as he casts the spell of Satan:
Zummi:
Tummur Zummings Bummack!
Translation: Turn My Zummi Bum
Back!
EWWWWW Zummi! I don't want to know what that involves. That causes the quilt to shoot yellow dust as the storm clouds die, Gummi Glenn returns to normal and Castle Dumbwin gets a rainbow shooting over the horizon. Dumbwin always gets the useless perks of the deal. Calla and Sunni look out the window as Calla proclaims that the day is saved; but Sunni still feels bad about it. Calla decides to walk to the dungeon to tell Gregor that Bane has a sudden change of heart. So we head to Gummi Glenn as we return to the living room and suddenly a patch of Sunni putting the fire out of the quilt is magically shown on the quilt. Zummi points out that Sunni has earned a patch on the quilt as everyone is in awe; even Sunni. So Sunni grabs the quilt and wants to hang it on the wall for everyone. She tries the south wall; but there's not enough light; so she runs around looking for spots to hang the quilt as everyone is just smiling to end the episode at 21:08. Very good episode and really Sunni earned this one. Good show teenybopper! **** ¼ (85%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Sunni redeeming herself in a way that I love is quite a difficult thing to do considering the character involved; but Sunni earned her crew cut here. Yes; Sunni's decision to bring the quilt to Dumbwin was idiotic to the core, but it was more than made up with the suffering caused by Lady Bane and her kicking Dukie's ass again. The story was awesome; but the animation seemed a bit off in places again. Then again; WD-OZ didn't really take off until Goof Troop anyway so this was to be expected. Still; I enjoyed the episode as a whole and Gruffi was almost neutralized here which is great to see. Lady Bane was awesome as usual and Dukie was in my favorite position of being Bane's chew toy. I have nothing bad to say about this episode at all. So next up is Thornberry To The Rescue as Thornberry returns as a recurring character for the first time and Cavin gets a new voice as Cavin steals Kit Cloudkicker's voice now. So.....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.