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The Rite Stuff
Reviewed: 11/08/2011
The Wrong Time To Be An International Object....
Well here it is; the final episode in the America time line which has to be the weirdest one yet. It's a focus episode with Buddy and Cavin of all people. So we never got another Buddy/Sunni focus episode after Return to Ursalia and yet Gritty and Cubbi did get one albeit it was disappointing. Life is so unfair. For International audiences; this would be the final episode before the series finale. So how does it do? Let's rant on and find out shall we....?
This episode is written by Kevin Hopps. I do not know who animated this episode.
We begin this one at Ursalia on the far shot and then we head to a cliff as we see Ursa and Buddy climbing a mountain. Ursa is doing very well; but Buddy is struggling because he's afraid of heights or something. He also hates climbing down I see as Ursa proclaims that this is what mountain climbing is all about. Buddy wants to go home and practice his flute; but Ursa blows it of because music is for babies. Nice one Ursa; alienate all the music lovers why don't you? See; Ursa is toughening Buddy up for the big day tomorrow when Buddy will take the test of Bearhood. Guys; I know that the test doesn't involve sex and dicks; but couldn't you come up with a BETTER name for it. She expect him to pass with flying colors as she throws the rope spear to the top of the mountain and Buddy blows off toughness. Considering that the mountain spirals down easily into a walkway with a boardwalk of all things; I think Buddy has a point.
...And we also see a bunch of satyrs on top of the mountain. One of them is Jabber (the one with the blue pants and dark brown beard – Frank Welker) as Gabber (wearing red pants and the blond beard - Corey Burton) likes the spoils as we see on the west pan shot; two rabbits. Shhh; be very, very quiet; we are hunting Wabbits. Oh come on writers; I know that Eisner's mandate was to make fun of Warner Brothers; but this is so obvious that Disney should have held it's head in shame. And the rabbits have at least the speed of Bugs Bunny as they bail after trying to eat that non-existent grass and we have a Wabbit chase. We spiral down the hill as the Wabbits are smart enough to jump over the rope spear; but the satyrs trip over and we have the HB ROLLING WHEEL OF DOOM. The Wabbits sidestep it as the satyrs roll down the conveniently placed boardwalk. I originally thought it was the Quick Car path; but they run into a mountain side and crumble it to pieces with a sick MAN-SIZED bump. Ho hum.
Jabber and Gabber pop up and of course they are the lamest Chip & Dale heels ever. They walk away stage right to find more furry creatures as we pan west to the rope spear (which is in reverse angle now) as Ursa thinks it's over. But the spear rope was against a rock apparently; and it crumble allowing the spear to pop out and drop down and allowing Ursa and Buddy to free fall. Lucky; the spear sticks to a lower cliff and Buddy is panicking as Ursa calls it nonsense. The rope is snapping which indicates that Buddy has another point. So Ursa swings like Tarzan and the rope breaks allowing Ursa to land on her feet and grab Buddy on the way down. Ursa sets Buddy down and asks Buddy where he would be if she wasn't so tough. Buddy gleefully answers that one for me and we scene change to Cavin playing with a dangerous weapon. It's a sword in case you didn't notice. He is cosplaying against an orange fan dragon as Tummi opens the suit and asks for lunch. HEE HEE! Cubbi is playing the head and tells him to be quiet. Why? It's obvious Cavin knows it's Cubbi and Tummi in that dragon disguise. No real dragon walks like a Gummi Bear.
Cavin yells to take one more step (See what a little acting from a voice can do? That's why Ginny McSwain has a job in the animation business.) and trips over a log and falls on his back. Heh. Cavin proclaims that he'll never be a knight since he cannot defeat a fake dragon and out pops Sir Thornberry out of the business. Huh? TB jumps in and brings out his shorter sword and wants to rumble BABEE! Cubbi and Tummi do not like this at all and tries to get away; but TB steps on the tail and it rips off and both Tummi and Cubbi tumble into the tree with a decent bump. Tummi and Cubbi pop out and TB thinks the dragon swallowed them whole. HAHA! No TB; but it is closer than you think. I know this because Cubbi teases explaining that it's a suit; but backs off because TB is too dumb to understand anyway.
Cubbi decides to play along as Cavin asks what brings him to Gummi Glenn; and TB calls it his feet. Oh lord; that is so Grubby-equse as a joke; even Teddy Ruxpin would groan at it. Cavin rephrases himself as TB explains that Buddy is going to take the test of Bearhood tomorrow and he shows the RSVP NOTE OF DOOM as he is inviting the Glenn Gummi's over. Cavin loves this and wants to come to Ursalia to meet the Barbics. TB isn't so sure this is a good idea and Cubbi thinks that the Barbics have all mellowed out. Riiiggghhhttt Cubbi. Gritty maybe; but Ursa still hasn't yet. So we head to Ursalia and of course the Barbics all have their spears out on Cavin barely five seconds in. HAHA! Are we really surprised that happened? Tummi isn't thrilled either as Ursa demands to know what a human is doing here. Thankfully; the animators were smart enough to keep Gritty out of this. Gruffi proclaims that they brought him here. Complete with Gruffi pose as Ursa blows him off because it's an ancient Barbic tradition not to be shared with human. Funny how she dissed the Ancients and yet she uses the word ancient here.
Cubbi defends Cavin's honor as a Gummi Bear and Ursa blows it off because he's not a Barbic Gummi. I was hoping for Gruffi to say “Thank the Ancients for small favors.” just to see Ursa's reaction. Sadly; Cavin only asks what is so special about Bearhood anyway. Ursa claims that Barbics are tough...and if Kit was around he would call them pigheaded too. Cavin calls humans tough and Gruffi is more than willing to back that claim up for him. Ursa dares him to take the test of Bearhood too and they all storm off as Cavin and ready and willing to prove his bearhood. Buddy sulks on cue after that one and then we scene change to see him near a fountain playing a horn. That's a flute? The flute he played with Sunni in Return to Ursalia is different from the one he's playing here. Logic break #1 for the episode five and a half minutes in. Thankfully; Ursa takes it away before any more damage is done to the animator's whacky logic breaking. She wants him to put away his childish toys and wear a childish blue robe which a dark brown Barbic puts over his head. It's not Grubby in case you asked. Buddy isn't so thrilled of wearing this either. If Ursa is going to play the tough card; then why is the robe blue. I thought she was channeling Mr. Hardcore and they hate colors other than brown. She removes the cowl from Buddy's head and makes him wear a headdress with purple feathers on it. Yes; Buddy looks SO tough now...NOT!! Ursa wants him to win and Cavin comes in and mocks him. While wearing the exact same outfit. Projection much there Cavin?
Then they look left as we get the old native war dance of the Barbics with drums and spears and it sounds like I'm hearing a mid 1990's basketball jive. Did I mention that the dancers look exactly alike with two spears a piece? And then Cavin and Buddy take their spears and dance with them. I'm sorry; I cannot take this seriously as toughness even if I tried. Gruffi has the pose on and gleefully sums this up with as much sarcasm as “bearly” possible. And then everyone leaves just to make Cavin and Buddy look like a bunch of goofs. Ursa comes in to proclaim the test of Bearhood to commence. And there can be only one winner too according to Ursa. So we scene change to the spear shooting gallery of targets as we begin Bearbaric Bearhood bout #1: Target practice. Ursa proclaims that they know DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!!) despite not telling the audience what they are and may the best “bear” win. Ursa seems to be invoke eye contact violence on Cavin a lot for some unknown reason. So Buddy goes first and throws the spear right on the lower red target bulleye; hitting the top of it. That's 50 points on the dart scale and still needs exactly 251 to win. Ursa should have gone by dart rules; just for endurance reason. And no; I'm not wasting my 1980's TSN promo jokes on this stuff either.
Ursa likes that one and dares Cavin to do the same. So Cavin licks his finger and then throws and hits the bottom target bullseye easily. Only the Glenn Gummi's pop for him as both Cavin and buddy do the spear throw in stereo and both hit the middle target bullseye right on the button as both sides pop on that one. And both hit the top target bullseye in stereo as well. So each gets 150 points; and still need exactly 101 points to win. Cavin and Buddy run in and Cavin takes the lead climbing up as Buddy can barely get up the second spear. And then barely up the third one as Cavin made it easily. Ursa demands to know what's wrong. I'm guessing Ursa underestimated Cavin being the taller of the two contestants in this one. Buddy balances on the left side trying to beat a human and he's about to lose his balance as even the Glenn Gummi's are worried. That's because they are not heartless see. And Buddy is a “Barbic” with Glenn qualities. Something Ursa wants out of Buddy's system see. Then we balance and Cavin tells him to see him at the finish line and we swing like Tarzan and land as Cavin lands on his feet and Buddy lands on his ass about three feet short of Cavin. That was better than I thought he would do actually.
Tummi helps a dejected Buddy up and proclaims that it's not weither you win or lose; it's how you play the game. In other words; Buddy should MURDER Cavin with the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT. Actually; I'm shocked Ursa hasn't tried that tact yet on Cavin. Personally; I would love to see Buddy MURDER Cavin with one too. Or even Ursa for that matter. RAGE AGAINST THE BARBIC MACHINE~! Ursa pulls Buddy away and blows Tummi off as this game isn't over yet. Logic break #3: Gritty has returned and Thornberry is taking the Barbic side of things. Why; I do not know. There is still one test left which is..We scene change and Ursa echoes that it's Gorgian Glutch. We do the longest pan shot of the MAZE OF DEATH as we cut to a cliff as Cavin gulps on cue. Ursa mocks his manhood (oh man; that just writes itself doesn't it?!) and Cavin does the Gruffi pose as Cavin asks what the rules of engagement are and Ursa tells them to get through before AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as she gives them spears and calls it the true test of Bearhood. Cavin asks what happens if they don't make it after dark; but Gruffi tells him not to worry because it doesn't look tough at all. Buddy and Cavin climb down and Gruffi wishes him luck as Ursa claims that they need it because in addition to the nature obstacles; she set up a few nasty traps herself. Gruffi doesn't like this AT ALL.
Ursa wants Gruffi to follow her as we get the combination of Gruffi, Ursa and TB walking on top in the shadows as Ursa proclaims that they will be at the halfway point and Cavin will submit. In your dreams Ursa. And while I'm at it: Why bring TB along again? Didn't we already see how much of a problem he is? I hope he doesn't interfere with the Ursa/Gruffi blowing each other off again. So we head into the maze as Cavin takes the lead and Buddy is still timid about this. Buddy wants Cavin to wait; but Cavin no sells because he's here to prove that he's better than a Barbic. He goes right (Republican!) and Buddy goes left (Democrat!) as Buddy claims that he already has his fur and trips on a vine and slides on a sled like rock on his belly down into the Quick Car route. That goes on for a while to waste time as Buddy uses the spear to turn left (why? There was no indication that he was in any danger in that direction). Buddy breathes a sigh of relief and the sled goes down into the abyss below as Buddy manages to climb a vine and then swing onto the rock monkey bars. Did I mention that there is a spear in his mouth now? Buddy climbs down and somehow the spear manages to get into his hand as Buddy proclaims that Ursa is not making this one easy.
So we segue to Cavin proclaiming that this is easy and he stops right in front of the green vine trap and pulls the vines with a spear. Cavin blows off Ursa's handiwork because it's the oldest trick in the book. So Cavin pole vaults over the trap and lands on the SPRING OF DEATH and gets sprung back in front of the trap on his ass and then a steel cage gets drop on his head from above. Well; that was interesting at least. Cavin blows off those Barbics for this as he struggles in the cage. We then head to a cave in the mountains as Jabber returns inside with something in his hands and Jabbers looks and sees nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. So Jabber was doing the old Jerry Lawler “I'm going into my tights and pretending that I'm pulling out an object to whack a wrestler with.” trick. And naturally Gabber didn't buy into it. He must think wrestling is fake too. Then we discover that it's actually a lizard as Gabber wants fur; not lizard skins. Gabber throws a dead raccoon skin right into Jabber's face for good measure. Woah; didn't see that one coming from Disney even in 1990. The lizard escapes in the confusion and bails like a Hanna Barbera character too. Then the satyrs hear Buddy's voice just as the lizard escapes the cave and the heels all run out and notice Buddy and Cavin meeting at the fork of the road in a dead heat.
Buddy asks where he's been and Cavin claims that he took a shortcut and runs stage right. Buddy calls it a rough shortcut and follows him. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The satyrs watch from above and they deduce that Cavin has a furry pet and chasing him. HA! If only. So the heels notice Buddy as they have their lucky day for fur trading and spiral down the mountain and hide behind some rocks as Buddy and Cavin run perfectly into position. And then Jabber does the dumbest thing to blow their cover in giving the weakest shot right on Gabber's head. Oh please; that shot wouldn't have done any damage or recoil whatsoever. Gabber sells it anyway and steals the club from Jabber because he wants to MURDER Buddy with it. It's too bad that they don't want duck feathers because I would love to see them MURDER Drake Mallard. BLAM!! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake! YOU ARE NOT...POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So we do a tug of war to waste some more time and allow the babyface to run past without incident. And so they yell at each other and then give chase as Cavin and Buddy run against a cliff for a while before coming to the see saw rock of doom (last seen in Plunder and Lightning Part Three) as Cavin crosses to the other side easily. Cavin calls Buddy's manhood out on it and Buddy blows him off and crosses allowing Jabber to whack his mouth against the rock with another wussy shot. That shot was weak-sauce and the squashing wasn't much better either.
So we get the heels playing with the seesaw rock and Jabber pulls it so hard that Gabber rolls back and we have the HB WHEEL OF DOOM rolling down towards another cliff as Gabber is hanging on for dear life. Jabber helps him up and everyone breathes a sigh of relief and then the ground crumbles beneath their feet (later lifted for Kick Out). We get them free falling and then cut to Cavin and Buddy in the maze as Buddy hears yelling and asks Cavin if he heard it. Cavin foolishly stops to listen and then Buddy takes the lead for the first time. HEE HEE! Cavin blows him off for cheating. What Buddy did was perfectly legal since DQ's are for babies see. I can just hear Ursa saying that now. So we head to the highest cliff possible as Ursa, Gruffi and Thornberry are looking on. Ursa has the telescope and states that she doesn't see them and they better hurry if they want to make it out by nightfall. Gruffi suggests that they should look for them because they might be in trouble. Ursa blows it off because the human is in trouble and she finally finds that her Barbic meal ticket is in the lead. Then we get the old background repeat spot with Buddy as the mountain sides look like cardboard. I wonder if Sunwoo is animating this episode? Anyhow; Buddy doesn't look where he is going because he thinks he has won and it's time to WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE~! Weak off screen bump ensues and Buddy is hanging from his shorts like Swift Heart Wabbit after outsmarting him/herself. I have a hard time figuring out Swift Heart Rabbit's gender.
Ursa notices and wonders what the hell is wrong with that cub? Odds are he drank the same water Swift Heart Rabbit drank BEFORE the big race against Beastly. At least Buddy didn't take half of the episode to warm up though; so the dose is a lot less than usual. Gruffi has the telescope just so Ursa can do the Gruffi pose. Oh; the irony! Buddy struggles like mad as Cavin waves goodbye and walks off stage right. HAHA! Hey; Cavin got caught in a trap too; so now we are officially even. Buddy is not amused as Gruffi asks Ursa to help him and Ursa blows it off because Buddy can help himself. She does have a point there Gruffo; since Cavin got out of the cage by himself. Ursa claims that Barbics know how to use their heads. Unless it involved mellowing out with humans. Then they use their fists instead. Buddy continues to struggle some more and uses the spear to unpop his shorts from the bushes (which seems to have turned into a leafless tree by now) and he flies into the side of the mountain taking a really sick MAN-SIZED bump too. OUCH! Buddy just one up-ed Kit on that front. Now THAT is being a man! And he paid off Ursa's “use your head” promo too. Good for him. Buddy rubs his head while landing on his ass and he doesn't look happy.
So we scene change to further in the maze as Buddy plucks thorns from his shoulder proclaiming that he doesn't know how much more he can take from this as we hear Cavin grunting. It's amazing how R.J. Williams could have made a killing as a voice talent because he had some really great acting skills; and yet he chose to be a director and producer. I'm not saying that R.J. Williams' dream was the wrong choice (because he is still a success story in Hollywood even now; and doesn't have the gossip like aura that most actors and actresses do.); but I wonder how much more of a success he would be if he forsake his dream and tried to be a full-fledged actor (although to be honest; the scummy world of celebrity is not really worth it in hindsight.). Just a thought as we cut to the mountain top and see Cavin climbing up. Sadly; Cavin grabs a really loose rock and it pops out allowing Cavin to freefall and almost land on his hand on the ground before landing on his ass. After Baloo landed on his head in Polly Wants A Treasure; I'm almost glad that they BS&P'ed the spot. Almost. Buddy laughs at his expense as he ties a rope to the spear and throws it into the top side of the mountain. Buddy blows off Cavin's climbing skills. Oh yeah; well at least Cavin was doing it without a rope. He at least has valor and courage; something that seems to be very foreign with you Barbics. POW! OUCH! Ummmm....See what I mean? POW! OUCH! UH OH...(Just like Birds of a Feather With Hoppo. Just saying)....
So we return after I got chased by the Barbic Peanut Gallery of Death and Buddy climbs up easily as Cavin wants to know who taught him that. Buddy doesn't say and end arounds him as he get to the top and throws another spear up the mountain side and climbs up again. Buddy goes to the top and claims that some things come natural to Barbics. Cavin ties a rope to his spear and throws it up and climbs up as we cut back to the satyrs blowing each other off again in the maze. And then somehow a rock drops on Gabber's head even though he was no where near the rock wall. We look up and see Cavin climbing up the rock wall and the satyrs climb up after him proclaiming that there is no escape. Like I'm going to buy that from those two. They have less heat combined than THE CAKE from Destiny Rides Again. Seriously; they make El Gato look like Don Karnage from P&L in terms of a legit threat. So we cut back to Ursa with the telescope as she is thrilled to see her meal ticket in the lead and Cavin in second and then she notices the satyrs and panics. Probably because Gruffi will accuse her of making a pact with them. Personally; I wish she did just to put more tweener heat on her. TB takes the telescope and states that they are Fur Gobbers. Gruffi asks if they are dangerous; and TB claims that they aren't. Unless they catch you and then they skin you alive. Ursa and Gruffi gasp in horror. It's nice to know that in 1990; you can say “skin them alive” in a children's cartoon because quite honestly; skinning someone alive is even more deadly and messy than merely killing them.
So we cut to Cavin climbing on top and he pants calling this tougher than he thought. He sits down for a moment as Buddy runs off proclaiming that you cannot be as tough as a Barbic in one day. How convenient for him to say that after not wanting to become one all this time eh? Cavin is not impressed as he stands up and pulls the spear out of the rock; which causes the rock to roll down towards the cliff and free fall. If you cannot guess what happens to Jabber and Gabber next; you have no business reading this rant. Avalanche ensues and the heels get entombed. Come to think about it; the animation spots look like Kennedy Cartoon's fingerprints on it or maybe WD-OZ's fingerprints on it. Hopefully; it's the later; although the sound effects are screwed up here. Jabber and Gabber pop from the carnage and both sulk in defeat as apparently bunnies are easier. Why not? Go ahead and bash Bugs Bunny like a good set of Michael Eisner hench-satyrs. We scene change and head deeper into the maze as the chase continues with Cavin and Buddy with Buddy in the lead. They finally are forced to stop right in front of an abyss below and Buddy proclaims that there is no way to cross it. Cavin notices the conveniently placed bridge on top and wants to use that and Buddy is scared. Wait a minute?! This is the SAME Barbic who in the last sequence climbed a mountain without any problem. Logic break #4 for the episode 15 minutes in.
Thankfully; Cavin calls out his manhood on this one and Buddy stammers like an idiot answering that he's a little scared as Cavin calls him a scaredy-bear. I guess baby is reserved for Kit to say to Baloo as we break logic as we discover that the bridge is on the same plane despite clearly being 50 feet above them on the previous shot. We then see Cavin slowly cross it. Now for those who don't have any experience in noticing obvious spots: If the bridge does not look like it blends in with the rest of the mountain; then you know right away that the bridge is going to crumble and Cavin and Buddy will free fall in the next minute or so. Not quite though as Buddy slips and crumbles through the bridge and hangs on. Cavin offers to help; but Buddy no sells as he climbs up and then the bridge dominoes on us. Buddy runs like mad; but can only manage to hang on to the spear of Cavin as the bridge falls into the abyss. Cavin tells Buddy to hang on as he pulls Buddy up and asks if he's all right. Buddy has had ENOUGH of this silly game and storms off as he quits. Oh; that is not going to please Ursa one bit. Cavin tells him that he cannot quit and Buddy blows him off and does the Gruffi pose while sitting on his ass on a rock.
Cavin reminds him of the test of Bearhood being a Gummi tradition and Buddy blows it off and declares himself a coward. Cavin blows it off because he's going to finish the test one way or another. Buddy blows it off because winning a dumb test is for dummies I guess. However; we hear Cavin yelling for help as Buddy runs around and Cavin is sinking in a lake of green quicksand. Oh my god; that is so lame guys! How stupid do you have to be to make it look like Cavin made such an obvious mistake and think that was a good idea?! Although to be fair; it does contain the MUDDY HAND OF DEATH (I see the writers were playing Dragon Warrior (Quest) before doing this episode) wants to engulf Cavin as he tries to get to the shore; but get grabbed by the mouth and is about to sink. Buddy yells for Cavin and that ends the segment 16 and a half minutes in. A fine episode thus far...
After the commercial break; we return as we break logic and somehow have Cavin fighting the MUDDY HAND OF DEATH with the spear. Wait; does that make sense to what happened before the break? The hand breaks the spears from Cavin's hands and throws it away as Buddy swings into action with the vine as we invoke the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERWHERE as Cavin gets looped and Buddy pulls back and ties the other end to a rock and then uses the spear to dislodge the rock down the cliff. So Cavin goes flying and Buddy waits for the right moment to cut the rope with the spear allowing Cavin to slide down on his face. Heh. Buddy wants to scram since it's too dangerous for Barbics and they both bail stage left. And then we return with the TRIO OF HARD HEADS (Two stubborn, one dense) as they run and Ursa asks why TB didn't tell him about Gobbers in the gorge and TB responds like WildCat in In Search of Ancient Blunders. Ursa wishes he didn't ask that and calls herself a fool. Gruffi; the personification of valor claims that she sure made it look easy. Now Ursa wants to bail Buddy out of this mess. How funny that she is now resorting to being a wimp after acting like she wanted Buddy to do this by himself. Gruffi wants Cavin bailed out too and Ursa of course refuses because she will never risk her neck for a human.
And she invokes the Gruffi pose to boot. Wow; just wow, these two ARE mirror images of each other. She must as well be a character in Unforeseen Impact Chapter Three. Gruffi asks her if he looks like he's kidding. Would you take six packs of Gummi Berry Juice if I said no Gruffo?! So Gruffi drags Ursa on stage right as TB follows worried about getting the hell out of this. Ursa tells him to relax and follow her as long as they watch their step. Sadly; Ursa doesn't and steps onto the spring button which I guess is one of the traps Ursa has set. She must really be wanting to kick herself in the ass for deciding to try to screw Cavin over with Barbic made traps now isn't she? And speaking of the trap; we see a boulder rolling down a slide and we bail stage left. This SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE PINBALL BARBIC EDITION goes on for a while until they reach the cliff. Gruffi calls it a real dead end (death reference #1 for the episode) as we see stone spikes in that pit. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So they do the dumbest thing possible: Jump into the pit as the rock smashes against the spikes and we see that the TRIO OF HARD HEADS are hanging on to a cliff in a Gummi Bear chain ladder spot. Ursa is on top, TB is on bottom and Gruffi is the cream filling in the middle of a Barbic sandwich. If you consider TB to be a Barbic of course. Gruffi and Thornberry gleefully sum up Ursa's trap setting skills as Ursa has a look that sezs “How stupid could I be?”. I cannot argue with that one Ursa.
So we head into the maze with Gabber and Jabber looking for Buddy again as Gabber proclaims that once he finds him; those two will CLUBBERING, CLUBERRING, THEY BE CLUBBERING! Oh god; I just stooped to doing Dusty Rhodes impersonations. They hear someone coming and we cut to Gruffi wanting to go this way and Ursa grabbing him and wanting to go in the opposite direction. TB wants to go both ways. Sorry TB; but you are not splitting those two up in a million years. Ursa tells Gruffi to concede that he doesn't know where he is and Gruffi actually agrees that they are lost. Which is perfect for the satyr heels to run in and declare them found. We then cut to Buddy and Cavin walking as Cavin thanks him and Buddy just wants to forget as Buddy still proclaims that he quits this Bearhood crap. See; he never wanted to do this dumb test anyway and if Cavin wants to finish it; that's his decision. Cavin then decides to quit as well because it was foolish to think that he could be a Barbic anyway. Cavin wonders what Ursa would say about this failure and Buddy proclaims that she would probably say...and Ursa yells for help on cue. Buddy runs stage right with Cavin following...
..and we segue to Gabber sharpening a knife on the rock as we see the TRIO OF HARD HEADS tied up to a stake. Well; this is one step up from El Gato at least. Wait; I thought Jabber was the red pant guy and Gabber was the blue pant guy. So they were reversed all this time? Bad, bad form there guys. Mind Your Cheese's & Q's-equse to boot. Gruffi struggles as he thinks he's going to fail the test of Bearhood and Ursa blows him off for that gaffe. So we cut to Cavin and buddy hiding behind the rocks as Buddy and Cavin set the TEAM ROCKET TRAP OF DEATH (oy vey) as Buddy and Cavin take their spears and proclaim that this will be their toughest challenge yet. So we cut back to the heels who cannot decide whose name is who finish up on sharpening their knives as they have cutting to do. Buddy then runs in with the double spear (much to Ursa's horror; which is hilarious considering that she did this test to test Buddy's toughness.) and throws them at the heels and they miss and hit the tree as Cavin practices the fine art of not being seen and climbs the tree with the spears while Ursa blows him off. Cavin swings like Tarzan and MURDERS the heels from behind as they slide off-screen stage left.
So Buddy unties the TRIO OF HARD HEADS (At least Gruffi's head has soften up a bit); but Gabber (or is that Jabber?) grabs him by the ankle and Buddy struggles enough to distract Gabber/Jabber as Cavin stomps on Jabber/Gabber's left hand. Aw; the old Kit stomp of doom on Dumptruck's foot. Cavin grabs Buddy and bails stage left as J(G)abber waves his finger around wanting those two kids. So we invoke the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE SATYR EDITION as they stop on a dime as Cavin and Buddy dare them to run past and capture them. Cavin calls them bald-headed boobs too as neither satyr sells that bill of goods. So they jump across and declares the kids losers. Buddy mocks that and pulls the rope and drops a cage on them. HA! Buddy blows them off and walks stage right.
So we head to Ursalia AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Ursa apologizes for not allowing them to complete the test in peace. Well; it's nice to know that Ursa is willing to take responsibility for her boneheadedness of setting those dumb traps to screw themselves over in the first place. However; Buddy concedes that they both quit BEFORE the test was complete already much to the shock of everyone. Tummi calls it terrible as Buddy apologizes for letting everyone down and Gruffi calls it nonsense. See; since Buddy and Cavin saved them from the dumbest satyrs in history; they proved their Bearhood as Ursa finally accepts Cavin outright (by shaking hands) and dresses them up in the blue robes. Good for her; and like Gruffi in Road to Ursalia; she didn't weasel it either. So we cut to the drum with Thornberry and Gritty as TB wants to celebrate and bang on the drum all night. Which would be the smartest thing he has ever done so far in this series. Gruffi calls it a good idea and we do that really laughable war dance of death as everyone looks downright silly. We zoom out to end the episode and season six (for the American timeline) at 21:07. Just your average Gummi Bears love in and when you consider the Cavin/Buddy focus looked tacked on and forced at the last minute; that is a good thing. Logic breaks dragged this one down though. *** ½ (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I didn't expect much out of Cavin and Buddy together; but it was pretty neat to see the friendly rivalry between the two and neither one really won as much as neither of them lost at all. The race itself was pretty fun and Ursa's trap skills did help the race from being too dull and boring though. The satyr's on the other hand were weak sauce. We couldn't get their names straighten out and other than capturing the Trio of Hard and Dense Heads; they looked like bunglers at best. I couldn't take them seriously if I tired. I also found Ursa's attempt at bailing out of Buddy silly as hell too; but at least Ursa redeemed herself at the ending. I also found that Barbic war dance to be too cliched and really silly to be taken seriously and it made me question these Barbic's toughness even more. Overall; the episode was fine; but could have been better. On the other hand; this wasn't a disappointment compared to True Gritty; so I'm fine with it.
So that leaves King Igthorn as the only episodes left to rant on for Season Six. However; before I do those two; it's time to return to Season Five and finish the job there by ranting on the two remaining shorts left. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do My Kingdom For A Pie. The World According To Gusto will be done for sure; but if I cannot find a stream that is reliable for MKFAP tomorrow; then I'll have to release TWATG as a mini-rant. Once that is done; then it's King Igthorn and the end of Gummi Bears and onto Ducktales in 2012. So.....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.