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Le Purrfect Crime

Reviewed: 06/26/2010


We move on to to our next episode which I first thought would be a Fat Cat episode; but then I discovered that it's against Mr. Fat's French brother. Oh LA LA! And Dale becomes a brainwashed chip”monk” so to speak. Let's rant on and find out shall we...?!

This episode is written by Ken Koonce, David Weimers and Dean Stefan. Sadly; I have no animation studio; nor a story editor; but the directors were Bob Zamboni and John Kimball. You'll just have to bear with me on this one; no pun intended. I think this is the first episode done by the KK/DW combo in this series. I'm not going to mention Dean Stefan here since he writes episodes for TaleSpin; and I got the prep work on his credits there.

We begin this one at the docks AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and then we do a pan shot left of a crate of cheese of France moved by a pulley. It comes down onto the dock as we cut to Monty in his tux and top hat (So we are replaying old memories of Desiree aren't we?) with Zipper running stage left. And man; the running sucks here as Monty dressed up for the stealing of blue cheese from France. That would have been more convincing if the blue cheese had bluish spots on the label in the earlier shot. To me; it's just Monty showing off as usual. And then the CHEESE OF SMELLS overwhelms him and we aren't even 30 seconds in. I guess we have to get this over with as Monty floats like a junkie towards the box of French Blue Cheese and then the smell dies magically and Monty drops on his ass in front of it. I'm not even going to bother trying to explain that logic; my brain is fried as it is already. Monty takes out his white bib; but there is rumble in that box of blue cheese and Monty swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (crikey!) as he thinks something stinks.

The odds if you please: 99:1 blue cheese, 1:1 Monty's character. Sadly; it's neither in this case as there is a female voice beckoning as Monty rips the box open and out comes two dressed up dogs who seems to like to be exceptions to Jay Leno's “Your Dog Is NOT Going To Wear That!” promos. The female is a French orange poodle, Nyuk! Nyuk! Monty asks the dogs why they stowed away in the blue cheese and the male gray poodle dog proclaims that there is a whine in France. I'm guessing that it has something to do with watching Monty every week. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Monty confuses it with wine (alcohol which shows just how old this show was at the time) and the French poodle uses the box as a scratching post to annoy the hell out of Monty. HAHA! I see where Don Karnage stole it from in Captains Outrageous. More bad French whine as apparently only dogs can hear it. Monty proclaims that this is a job for the Rescue Rangers of course. Isn't it hilarious that it feels like a Monty focused episode; and yet as I have seen clips of this before, it turns into a Dale focused episode. Thank the lord for small favors as they say.

So we head to Paris in France. We know this because the VISABLE FRENCH LANDMARK OF THE DAY (The Effel Tower) is in the background of course. We pan northeast towards the sunlight (huh?) and than do a jump cut down towards the street as the Rangers are walking in the middle of the French street. Boy Kick; that walking in the street sure makes thee a daredevil. NOT! Monty does some cheese booking names just to piss me off of course. Dale is confused because he wants to drink wine. Oh boy! I think drunk Dale is more whacky than ordinary Dale if you catch my drift here. We then get a back shot as the Rangers have teleported to the sidewalk for no reason whatsoever (and no; the manhole cover doesn't help cover up the logic break guys) as a brown poodle runs away whimpering like a scalded dog. Dale runs to follow the poodle; but Chip stops him and calls him a goof. What? No bonk on the head? That's pretty sloppy Chipper as Chip deduces that the source of the poodles whimpering must have come in the opposite direction. The Rangers run into the street as a French rich man wearing glasses with the HHH nose calls for Snookims his poodle.

Gadget deduces that the thing that make it run away is in the window in a building as we cut up to Snout (Blind Mouse for those who like to snark) taking a sound device from the window on the third floor. I know this because it have a pipe in it. We then cut to inside as Snout and a French mouse in painting gear are talking to Mr. Fat in French clothes....or so I thought. Believe it or not; this is NOT Mr. Fat. This is none other than Mr. Maltase De Sade. Sorry; but that doesn't translate into French in anyway. So Snout in this version is Museau. Sade wants to rid the world of poodles and dogs so CATS RULEZ~! In other words; he is a Nintendo fanboy. POW! OUCH! Ummmm....Oh; and there's a badly drawn poodle with a No Smoking cross sign on it on the wall as Sade basically waxes the usual villain speech saying nothing of note. Even worse; the French accent is terrible which is worse than having Mr. Fat doing a bad French accent. Then again; it's not Jim Cummings doing the voice; but the late Howard Morris (!!!). Not one of the better casting decisions by DTVA. He calls it sheer heaven as we jump cut to a wall with a trap wall door on it as Dale overhears and Chip blows him off. For goodness sakes Chip; settle down. He's only eves-dropping. It's not like he is actually going in.....yet. Chip does the love tap as Dale blows him off and the door opens allowing the chipmunks to trip and fall flat on their face blowing their covers. Chip has no one but himself to blame for that one.

Sade yells at someone for interrupting his bad spiel as we cut to a inside shot of Chip projecting his stupidity onto Dale calling him a goof. Remember that it's CHIP'S fault for shoving Dale when Dale was only listening on and that caused the door to open. Monty swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (crikey for the fifth or sixth time in the last two episodes!) as he shudders because there's a fatass cat who wants to have a Mouse on A Pain. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm..... Sade swears in DUBBED FRENCH STYLE (sacre bleu! Sorry; but Don Karnage's version trumps all French swearing) as the painting rat blows off the rodents so Museau calls the rat a rodent and....I can't believe I'm hearing this....he addresses him at Ratatouille~! Seriously; he's the FREAKIN cooking mouse from the PIXAR movie of the same name nearly 15+ years later. Wow...just wow. So; I'm going to just call him Rat because it's easier to spell and it's French anyway. Rat blows off Museau because he's an artist. So he's a hardcore gamer. POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... Wow; the rubles are restless today as the Rangers run and hides near two cartons of eggs.

Chip doesn't even have a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind which his C-pitched voice allows Sade to find him in the kitchen. Oh man; PIXAR'S Ratatouille was loosely based on elements from this episode! See; this is why I didn't buy some of the producers from Walt Disney France statements on TaleSpin being uncreative. What they really said was that they hated working for a former music producers who “knows” nothing about animation, namely Jymn Magon. Ironically; Magon knew what entertainment was which was the only thing that matters. Sade orders him to mind their own bees-ness and man; the accent is terrible still and it shows when Chip does a better one (So why not like Tress MacNeille be Sade?) on the blowoff. Sade gets confused enough for them to throw the magically teleported egg in his face and it splats really well. Sigh. Sade then admits that he's only Mr. Fat's cousin. What the hell is wrong with him being a brother? Monty rolls up the sleeves because he hates accessories to Mr. Fat. Well; I would rather tolerate the Aussie Stereotype over the French stereotype, so I say give Monty the ball to crush it. See; I can praise Monty when need be. I'm not constant in my hate for him in general. Sade counters by trying the belly flop; but the Rangers move and Sade splats all of the cartons of eggs. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Those were future finger licking good chickens! You fatass bastard!

Dale does his taunting and Chip blows him off as Sade has teleported behind the wine bottles as Museau and Rat use the forks to unpop the corks from the wine bottles. The Rangers bounce those off with magically appearing saucers. Have we gone to bizzaro world or what?! Monty decides to run off and run back with the WHIP CREAM SQUIRTER OF DEATH. Oh for god sakes guys; stop stooping to Monty's level of suck! And Sade is a sour puss according to Monty. That makes Monty a salty rat right?! Right?! The spray somehow splits into three and nails the heels. That makes zero sense whatsoever. If they hit Rat, then moved to Museau and then Sade; then the spot makes sense. That's a DARKWING...DUCK spot if I ever saw one. The Rangers move in for the babyface beat down (Yeah right?); except for Dale who licks the whipped cream from the bottle. You know the Rangers are dumb when DALE is the smart one of the team. Chip blows Dale off for goofing off as Chip continue to project his stupid genes onto Dale. Or it's the NO WORKRATE FOR DALE in effect here. Dale squirts the can and that causes everyone to whiplash and take MAN-SIZED bumps onto the floor where a white cover falls and the Rangers are captured by Sade. Okay; that one was clearly Dale's fault even if Chip started the domino effect by shoving Dale against the loose door. Sade cheers for victory as he gives the French Sack to Mr. Le Sewer (Museau for those keeping track- Personally; I like my version of the name better since it's French and he's closer to Snout in character design.) and tells them to throw them in the sewer. Damn; they chose that name for that pun? I liked Museau better for deeper character reasons of course. Sade wants them flushed out of his life. Ooooookkkkkkaaaayyy....

So we cut to the sidewalk near the manhole cover which has magically been opened. Well; not quite as Rat or Le Sewer probably opened it beforehand. It's 2/3 porno I guess as moaning inside and throwing occurs as the bag falls into the sewer ground with a wussy bump and frees the Rangers. Oy vey. Chip blows off Dale and proclaims that the Rangers are better off without him complete with Gruffi pose. Ummm; didn't we play this number already? Dale defends himself and I agree since it was Chip that blew their cover in the first place. He seeks Gadget's approval and actually agrees with Dale that he didn't blow their cover....and he's a goof up. HAHA! Mean spirited; but accurate just the same. Dale wants approval from Zipper and Monty; but gets none as Chip goes all jackass on us and points at Dale to go sight seeing as tears stream down Dale's face. I never thought Chip would become more unlikable than Monty; but he has finally managed it. I hate you Chipper for your NO WORKRATE FOR DALE policy.

If Dale was smart; he would leave them completely and never come back. Dale walks off north east as Chip thinks this will make him learn his lesson and the Rangers go back southwest. He's the obvious problem with this; it's CHIP who goofed up the whole practice the fine art of not being seen. Dale's whip cream spot was merely icing on the goof up cake. So we cut to street level on the sidewalk with Dale walking and sulking. Good; the Monty focus is gone and we can get the GOOD character to get the episode over because this has been terrible thus far. And then the episode gets absurd as a guy comes out of the truck with mini Effel towers on a tray and trips allowing the contents to drop on Dale and one bonks him on the head causing him to become dizzy. Dale stumbles a bit and now he cannot remember anything. Oh boy; this is like Old Man & The SeaDuck; except it doesn't work for Dale. We then see a mouse with sandals and a black mask talking about who is he and goes all crazy on us. Dale gleefully blows him off for me which is the second funny spot of the episode and we are over six minutes into this thing.

So we cut to the sidewalk cafe as we get the most absurd scale size moment of the series as Sade looks like a giant ass mouse when he should be about 30 pounds bigger than what is shown here. More bad French as then he panics because he clearly sees Dale is alive and well. They play name the chipmunk for a while and I see another obvious problem: Shouldn't Dale have lost his goofball acting and just sound normal C-pitched?! Le Sewer wants to MURDER him on the subway tracks (BOO! HISS!); but Sade blows him off and decides to show Dale who he really is. So we logically head back into the French Kitchen of Doom as Sade paces on the floor and Rat paints a picture of something. Ummm; yeah. Sade comes over as Dale is in front of a bag of sunflower seeds as he asks them if they know who he is. And does it involve 20 questions? Ummm; no Dale because Rat runs in and puts the canvas down and unleashes his “masterpiece” and it shows Dale with a white bandana shooting a vacuum cleaner like device with bullets in it (!!!). Wow; that are foreshadowing TaleSpin now. No surprise since Ken Koonce and David Weimers were writing episodes for it soon after. I heart Dale with a gun.

Now if Dale had that when he wanted to kick Francis' ass in Mind Your Cheese And Q's; I would be able to take him seriously. He's RamDale (Take one guess who they are referencing. And I didn't know Rambo was a French word?) now and Dale is a feared criminal mastermind who works for Sade. The funny thing is that without the bonk on the head; this would be a legit Face-Heel turn for Dale. Dale isn't so sure about this; but Sade and company dress him up as the weapon is coffee beans. Whew; BS&P is relieved that he's not shooting real ammo if you catch my drift here. Sade shows him the mirror as he then violate Anime Dub Conduct Rule #12 (Thou Shalt Not Rhyme) as Rat does some more painting as RamDale's evildoers are the rest of the Rescue Rangers. Sorry guys; I'm not fooled. He didn't paint that because it clearly looks like a stock photo. The briefing...ERRR...I mean brainwashing continues as RamDale repeats all. Apparently; de-cafe is the coffee equal to kill in this world. Sade walks away and tells Dale to complete his mission and return with proof that the Rangers are flatter than French toast as Rat and Le Sewer fry some French toast to force the point. That officially ends the segment eight and a half minutes in. Oh goody; this episode suddenly become fun now....

After the commercial break; we head to a street sewer drain as the rest of the Rangers pop out of the sewer and Monty complains about not finding anything. HA! Gadget wants to find Dale now because apparently his feelings were hurt. Chip blows her off (BOO! HISS!) as he could be anywhere and they need to find Maltese. The gang decides to split up. Oh boy; this IS turning into a Scooby Doo episode...in Robot Chicken minus the blood and swearing. Monty and Zipper go to Notre Dame while Gadget and Chip go to the museum. So we cut to the Church of Notre Dame as Monty and Zipper run in to see Maltese and his goons go inside with the SOUND WHINER OF DEATH as Monty thinks Sade is in church for a confession. And yes; Monty did call this a church which is amazing since churches do not exist in 4Kids' world. Monty and Zipper follow them of course as we cut to inside the subway near the connector cars as we see Gadget and Chip sitting down on a chain. Sadly; there is no kissy-kissy involved you sick freaks! The subway stops and both Chip and Gadget run like rodents. Huh? Gadget running like a chipmunk? That doesn't make sense as Chip and Gadget gasp in horror as they see Dale with his coffee bean gun of death.

HOLY CRAP?! Chip just called Dale a terrorist! And he meant it too! Again; why wasn't it okay for R.J. Williams to call Don Karnage one when he was a legit terrorist?! Chip notices that it is Dale (Geez; what was your first clue Chipper?) and Ram Dale goes loco and Gadget and Chip scatter like scalded rodents as Dale shoots to decafe so to speak. Gadget and Chip run and drop onto the escalator. Gadget wonders what the hell is wrong with Dale as the confused mouse rears its ugly head for some mangled metaphors. Chip then gleefully answers that one for me as I cannot help but laugh. Chip may be a total jackass; but at least it's apporos this time around. We head inside the museum with the longest pan shot in history and then cut to inside as Gadget and Chip walk in. Chip feels regret for being a jackass to Dale; but never thought Dale would be a traitor. Gadget doesn't believe it in a million years as RamDale enters and more coffee beans are shot and the lovers scatter. If Dale wasn't brain damaged; you could take this as Dale hating Chip for losing the right for Gadget to have a date with him. So we head to a far shot of Notre Dame near the river. The shot is so blurry that it looks like they tried to blur the cross on the roof in the zoom in shot. It doesn't work sadly as I can barely made it out. We get a shot of a deck near two gargoyle statues as Le Sewer plays with the sound whiner on the edge with Sade and Rat looking on as banana yellow sound waves play out on the next shot. For goodness sakes; even the sound waves hate me now. We cut down to a dressed up dog (oh boy! Everyone in France that is a pet is dressed up) trying to eat a hot dog; but it's so dark that it looks like he's sniffing his own feces. Literally. Luckly; before the SBS&P can step in; he yelps in pain and runs away stage left like a scalded dog and that ends the segment ten and a half minutes in.

After the Youtube break; we resume with a fixed shot of Le Sewer playing with the SOUND WHINER OF DOOM some more and giggling. He stops and tells Sade that the device works like a charm. Geez; that is so ineffective since he only got one dog to whine and run away. Sade is not impressed as he is near a box crate licking his chops because the tower of Notre Dame (funny since Monty clearly called it a church earlier) isn't high enough for him. Nice to see someone who thinks big for a change. Sade blurts out that he wants to find an antenna large enough to power up the device and drive all dogs out of Paris. We then cut to Monty and Zipper on the side of the roof realizing the plan. He even calls him a pussy. Wow; you know Disney is awesome when even Toon Disney allows THAT word past the censors. So we go to the next scene changer as we see Chip and Gadget running in the museum like rodents up the stairs and hiding near a barrier next to the wall with the Mona Lisa. Oh boy; I think we know where this going. Chip notices the SHADOW OF DOOM and here comes RamDale as Gadget grabs Chip and runs stage right towards a door. We then cut to inside as a sculptor in purple is fixing a naked lady statue's arms while on a step ladder.

We cut to floor level as Gadget and Chip dodge a wooden frame as RamDale continues with the threatening coffee bean offense. Chip tries to apologize for his conduct; but Dale no sells all as he's RamDale see. I am so loving Dale as a coffee bean killer as Monty and Zipper run in to ruin the fun as usual. If anyone deserves to be de-cafed it's the Aussie Stereotype. Chip doesn't care because Dale is nuts and even Gadget thinks he's lost his mind (check the motion Gadget makes when she states that he has amnesia. Monty isn't so sure about the solution as Chip proclaims that she nailed it right on the head. Dale blows off the four against one and shoots more coffee beans for fun. It's too bad that Dale has to return to normal because I am digging this crazy guy even more than I already have. The shooting causes the PLASTER OF PARIS container to drop down and nail Gadget and Monty entombing them in plaster of paris. HA! Dale recocks his gun and goes after Chip as Chip tries to exit stage left; and Dale teleports right in front of him. Dammit; who does Dale think he is in, a Z-grade sleaze biker gang movie?! Chip thinks he's done; but Dale runs out of ammo. You know you are screwed when THAT happens.

Ram Dale is pissed off; so he grabs a paint brush with red paint on the tip end and starts sword fighting as that kills the CONTINUITY the writers were shooting for with RamDale. Chip sees his opening and runs away complete with Hanna Barbera running looping and sound effects towards the green paint can and unleashes his paint brush with green. Damn; if it was blue this would be a perfect metaphor for the video game industry as a whole. So RamDale is a republican and Chip is part of the green party. There's a mismatch if I ever saw one. Ram Dale breaks the ice by painting a red porno mustache on Chip's face. HAHA! Chip counters with the GOATEE OF DEVIL ENIVORNMENTALISM~! Ooooo....those are fighting brush strokes there Chipper. More jousting up the ladder and apparently; the plaster of Paris doesn't shut up Monty as he helpfully explains what Chip is doing which is completely pointless and it is a force of dumbing down the audience. What did you expect from the Aussie Stereotype? I guess Zipper was drowned in the plaster as well (and he is on the eye shot). And wasn't the plaster container already tipped over?! Isn't that the same ladder the guy was on? Where is he now?! Wow; I have never seen such logic breaking in one scene. Even Chuck Tately would blush over this. Chip and Dale dodge as the plaster container misses Dale by a mile and Dale seemly teleports over to the naked lady statue and taunts Chip which makes no sense since Dale is supposed to be RamDale and not act like that. Then the LEGAL HAND OF GOD comes down and literally forces the point on Dale's head knocking him more silly than he has ever been before. Dale comes down with the red paint brush as there is more fencing and Dale calls him Chip wondering why he's dressed like the Karate Kid. Chip is so HAPPY to see this as Dale proclaims that his head is killing him (death reference #1 for the episode) as he wonders about the statues on the ground and the mice plus fly blow him off for that one. Chip runs in to help as he proclaims that he'll explains everything to Dale.

So we go to the scene changer as Chip spits in his hands near the step ladder as he has the chipmunk editions of the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT as Zipper and Gadget apparently have their heads back to normal which makes no sense whatsoever. Chip raises the mallet and I hope he MURDERS the Aussie Stereotype good with it. Dale has the chisel (out of nowhere as well) and Chip nails it which somehow breaks all the plaster and everyone is free. And the plaster disappears completely without any trace. Oh god; this sequence since the Youtube break is downright repulsive. Chip apologizes for not wanting Dale around and Gadget is pleased that he's back. And the plaster has returned underneath their feet on the next shot. UGH! Chip then proclaims that he likes the new Dale because he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind. Monty gets that Chip wants Dale to sneak back into headquarters to screw Sade over with his mind games. Dale is confused because he doesn't know how to deal with Maltese and Chip proclaims that he will in a minute. Oh boy; I think we know where this is going.

So we cut back to near the trap door as Dale is pleading for them to reconsider because he never works alone. Monty and Chip reassure him that he did just that when he was RamDale. So we head back inside Sade's kitchen as Sade gets a peeping tom peek at the device as he has the perfect place to put the plan and finish up his master plan of total cat domination. If this were 2010; he would just buy everyone in Paris Catz from Ubi Soft. Yeah; I went there; so shoot me. And so the door creaks open and in comes Fake RamDale looking kind of normal Dale. Sade asks about the mission to decafe the Rangers and Dale claims that he did it with one hand tied behind his back. We then hear Gadget blowing him off behind the door for laying it on a little thick. She should only be so lucky. One small problem; Dale forgot to bring evidence and the heels think he is a traitor now as they surround Dale and that ends the segment nearly 15 minutes in. Geez; maybe Dale should have brought in the Rangers knocked out because they are RIGHT BEHIND the damn door looking on. Chip clearly didn't think his plan through at all here.

After the commercial break; we return to near the front trap door to see Sade, Rat and Le Sewer surrounding Dale as Sade proclaims that since Dale failed in his mission; how does he know that Dale's not lying. Wow; Sade actually has a brain. Too bad he doesn't use it to improve that French accent of his. Dale does the cross his heart and hopes to die as we cut back to Gadget and Chip as Gadget steals Chip's Indiana Jones hat and slips it through the door into Dale's hand as Sade blows him off with more bad French puns. Dale looks into his pockets like an idiot for evidence as Sade asks about the hat and Dale claims that it keeps his ears warm. Well; so much for Sade having a brain; this is too obvious. Rat gleefully points out the obvious for me as I think Rat's voice is getting WORSE since I last heard it. Dale then grabs the hat and claims that he was keeping it out of his hat which allows Sade to grab him and French kiss him. Oh LA! LA! I'll give Sade and the heels credit; they aren't terrible heels. Just terrible accents. Dale does some kissy-kissy back in response and this one is on the lips. EWWWWWW! I guess the perverted paws on Gadget spot is still Mr. Fat's trademarked property.

Dale thanks him for not killing him (wow- death reference #2 for the episode) and calls him a girl in French which Sade doesn't take all that well. Sade drops Dale on his ass on that one and goes to the window going on and on about stomping on some dogs. Something tells me he has been harmed by watching Monster A Go-Go. That's what the ping-bark sound effects will do to you. Dale goes to the door and opens it ajar asking what he is going to do with the DOG WHINER OF DOOM and Sade proclaims that he is going to broadcast the sound on the most powerful antenna in all of France and Dale wonders what that is; but Sade comes over and grabs him asking if he likes surprises. I hate to say it to him; but Dale is room feed now. The Rangers hear noises and run into the red toolbox to hide as the heels and Fake Ram Dale leave. Considering that Sade has Dale like Mr. Fat grabs Dale; I think it's safe to say that he's on Dale's facade right now. Onto McFlurry they go down the stairs as for some odd reason; Chip stupidity has the red toolbox locked despite there being no padlock outside. What planet is these writers on today? It's certainly not in the Rangers world that is for sure. They bounce down the stairs with wussy bump all the way outside and the box finally opens causing the rest of the Rangers to spill out. We see the manhole cover slide as Chip proclaims that they are gone and Monty proclaims that Dale is gone if Sade finds out that he's a double agent. Ummm; too little, too late Monty.

So we go to the scene changer as we head to the foot shot near the VISABLE LANDMARK OF THE DAY (The Effel Tower) as the manhole cover on the street opens and out pops the heels and Double Agent RamDale. More bad French and confusion from Dale leads to Sade grabbing Dale and blowing him off as they advance onto the Effel Tower. My brain is turning a souffle with this episode at this point; so Sade at least has some sense of humor. Rat and Le Sewer carry the device of course as we cut back to the sidewalk near the sewer drain as Gadget recalls Sade's plan and wonders about the biggest antenna in France and Chip whines because it could be anything. Gadget deduces that the only thing big enough and made of metal would have to be the Effel Tower in France. Chip proclaims that it's actually on this street and the Rangers exit stage left. So we cut to a pan shot of the VISABLE LANDMARK OF THE DAY as we cut to one of the metal catwalks to see Sade, Le Sewer, Rat and Double Agent RamDale exchanging notes on the surprise.

Dale keeps calling him a girl for some reason and that's really the only thing that is truly entertaining me at this point of the episode. Sade tells Dale to guard the device as the heels run up the metal tower some more as Dale opens up the device and sees that it's the old bone on a chalkboard trick. Oh god; Don Karnage would have a field day with this feline. Bone must be sharper Mr. Sade! Dale tries to grab the bone to throw it to me; but Sade catches him brown handed. Geez; what a shock that is considering that the whole scene is built on Sade basically being on Dale's deception. Dale claims that he only wanted to know how the damn thing works and Sade sells it and drops Dale on his ass on the ground. Well; there goes Sade's heat as a heel right there. However; Sade really lets Dale grab enough rope to basically hang himself as Dale stumbles and stammers; blowing his cover with each word. HAHA! Sade didn't lose his heat after all; I am wrong again. Sade grabs Dale and throws him to Rat and Le Sewer as Sade proclaims that he is going to get a bonk on the head he will never forget. He's going to get dropped off the tower. Okay; so we are going to do the Plunder and Lightning drop of Kit. Works for me.

So we cut to the park as a woman dressed in pink with a baby carriage drives around and the Rangers drop off into the park. They run stage right; and somehow we cut back to the recycled shot of the Effel Tower with the Rangers whining about not seeing anything. Monty wants some binoculars. Not to see Dale; but to salvage the episode. Or maybe not. Gadget turns around and has an idea. And it doesn't involve Zipper which is shocking to me. I guess Zipper getting the day off from his ten seconds of work policy. So we see the Rangers climb up to the binoculars on a stick as Gadget and Chip look in them while Monty controls them. They waste some more time and then we see in the binocular shot, Rat and Le Sewer grabbing Dale and climbing up the tower. Chip proclaims that his cover is blown. NO?! REALLY?! Gadget turns around and notices their ticket up as we see the conveniently placed balloon cart that looks like an ice cream cart. The Rangers climb down and Monty does the Ally Oop spot on the Rangers as they climb up and steal three balloons and float into the sky. The balloon salesman protest this outrage in French of course just to annoy me. The Rangers fly away stage right.

We then cut to the Effel Tower and I swear that it's the same shot as earlier on. Le Sewer and Rat have Dale over the edge as Le Sewer wants to have Dale MURDERED right now. I see he wants to end this episode as quickly as I do now. Sade no sells because he wants to show off as he uncorks the blue/red aligator clips and clamps them to the machine. Sade then clamps the clips together as; wait a minute?! Dale is free from Le Sewer and Rat now?! And Le Sewer has not teleported to the device. Oh god; this is turning into a bad Z-Grade episode now. Dale then has had enough and starts cutting promo after promo after promo as he comes in much to the disdain as Sade. Dale steals the device from him and runs over and throws it down the tower and the heels just sit there doing absolutely nothing. Wow....just wow. To think; Katherine Victor came in AFTER this series for TaleSpin for continuity coordination and she was in Z-Grade movies as the lead actress. Like I said: Eat your heart out Jerry Warren. Needless to say the device spirals down and shatters weakly on the stone ground below. Sade whines about losing his plans to a dumbass chipmunk. So; it's flatter than a Cape Suzette? Somehow; that improves it as a device.

So we pan up and that mangled metaphor mouse returns just to annoy me again. Finally; Sade has had enough and pulls the mouse by the tail and throws him over the tower and we don't even see him hit the ground. That might be a good thing since the logic is too whacky to be believable at this point. Sade orders his men to grab Dale and throw him overboard; but we see Gadget and Monty grab the heels as the balloons rise into the air. I'm certain that the logic on the color of the balloons is screwed up; but I'm not going to bother to research that as Rat and Le Sewer continue their aborted bicker on rodents. Chip drops in via the blue balloon (which is the one he stole so that balloon keeps it's logic) as Sade has double the pleasure; double the fun of ripping them with more bad French words. Sade tries to get the jump on them; but the chipmunks duck and Sade free falls over the Effel Tower and manages to use his underwear (green spots) as a parachute. Wow; he just dropped two notches on the dignity scale with that one. He does land safely; and the mangled metaphor mouse is nowhere in sight thus making it the second straight time we had a teleporting death scene.

We cut back to Gadget and Monty on balloons with the other heels as Monty proclaims that cats always land on their feet. Sometimes Kit does it better. So we segue to the docks as a tugboat comes in and Gadget talks about loving Paris. We cut to the rope anchor as the Rangers all slide down as Gadget loves being back home after one of the worst episodes in Dale's career. Chip proclaims that he's glad to have Dale back and there are a million French poodles who are grateful for him as the couple from the beginning of the episode greet him on his arrival. How did they know that the Rangers had won?! They are taking the next boat to France of course. Dale is last to slide down (and I see he ditched the Karate Kid look) as he tells them to call them when there is trouble and of course he slips and falls into the drink. HAHA! Dale pops up as Chip is annoyed while everyone else giggles to end the episode at 21:14. Oh man; Dale tried and so did the heels; but the logic was all over the damn place and Chip's jackass attitude rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know if BS&P got it's fingerprints over the death scene of the mangled metaphor mouse; but if they did, they might as well have told the writers to write him out of the final edit completely. I saw more teleporting in this episode than in the entire Kick Buttowski series I have seen so far. So; I call this one * ½ (30%).


So the streak of average to good episode is over with this stinker and I'm really disappointed with it as a whole. Monty is completely innocent of this one as Chip managed to be as unlikable as he was for the wrong reasons and while Dale did everything he could to save this episode by his entertainment as RamDale; he couldn't stop the relentless logic breaking that included teleporting out of the wazoo and a big one in the mouse being thrown over the tower and we don't see him hit the ground, nor see him anywhere near the ground on further shots. He was written out by teleportation. Also; while Maltese and his heels were decent heels (Maltese actually did a good job in outsmarting Dale for a while); their mangled French just didn't turn out funny at all. Gadget was Gadget and Zipper did absolutely nothing. Monty was actually not sucking for a change; and it didn't change the quality of this episode one bit. I don't know if Dean Stefan's writing had anything to do with this; but this shows that Ken Koonce and David Weimers were slowly spiraling down as writers at this point. Ironically; their rock bottom point was with The Time Bandit which I thought was a pretty good episode by DTVA standards; but the redo plot turned it into a bad episode by TaleSpin's lofty standards. So next up is When You Fish Upon A Star with Monty being the focus. After this abortion; I somehow are actually relived that he's the focus now.

Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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