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The S.S. DrainPipe
Time To Go Down The Drain...AGAIN!!
Well; we finally end the pre-Disney Afternoon episodes of Rescue Rangers with this little episode featuring the same two writers from Mind Your Cheese & Q's. It also features the same heels as well. Lucky for us; Dale is the focus character in this episode so there could be hope. So let's rant on and find out shall we...?!
This episode is written by Michael P. Nelson and Burt Brown. Sadly; I have no animation studio; nor a story editor; but the directors were Bob Zamboni and John Kimball. You'll just have to bear with me on this one; no pun intended. And no; there is still no progress with their resumes either.
We begin this one with a shot of a red toy motorboat on the water. Weird moment: The episode title is in scare quotes. As if this episode is really untitled. It rides around the pond as we see a little boy with the weirdest children's shirt I have ever seen controlling it with the remote control device. Then the boy foolishly turns the motor boat into the drainpipe and he whines about losing it. Geez; you would think that he wouldn't have turned it so intentionally like that. We pan to the right and then jump cut back to the pipe as the motorboat drives away stage left. Huh? Shouldn't that have happened BEFORE the boy cried out that he lost his motor boat. And why should I be surprised that Nelson and Brown would write such a screw up? Anyhow; we return to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and zoom into the living room as the male rodents minus Zipper are sitting down on the couch watching television showing a jet plane in mid air driven by a stinking badger whom a badger who looks like a bad superman is behind him saying superhero things as his acting sounds like a Z-grade movie.
The guy in the cape is the Red Badger of Courage as the pink eared rat (who looks like someone from Spy Vs. Spy only with a goofier purple coat) blows him off and jumps off. Badger then goes all BS&P on us (Somehow this sounds plausible; at least the writers are playing it for “laffs” so to speak) and jumps off causing Dale to shriek in horror. Badger free falls and grabs Purple Spy Rat and then invokes the parachute. Ummm; yeah sure Dale: street pizza. I could use one now along with some Diet Dr. Pepper to wash away the smell of crap I'm sure that is yet to come. Dale jumps up proclaiming that he did it as Badger tells him to tune in next week for another adventure with the Batman end promo. That would be the cheesy live action edition. Sorry Badger; but Molly is much cooler than you when she does it. And for the two of you who care; the kid is voiced by Brian Cummings, Badger and Spy are voiced by Chuck McCann I do believe. And we get our second logic break of the episode as Zipper instantly teleports somehow onto the couch. Dale turns off the channel as Monty thinks he would be perfect for the Rangers as Dale demonstrates his whacky whacking skills off just to be Dale and try to carry this episode past average. This will be an uphill climb; I'm sure of thee.
Chip thinks Dale is being an idiot and Dale pretty much proves it by jumping onto the table with plants and it's base collapses allowing Dale to take a decent bump onto the floor. Monty asks the obvious question: Who is going to save Dale from himself? Answer: Does Dale WANT to be saved? Certainly not by the Aussie Stereotype. Chip takes the plant off from his head and proclaims that Badger is just a cartoon hero and not real. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Chip?! Finally; Gadget comes in and wants some help on something if anyone is interested and of course Chip slides in since he has date on the brain. Dale crawls from the carnage and goes to his room sulking thinking Chip is right on the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. He looks himself in the pink mirror and apparently; the magic mushrooms are in full force as the Red Badger appears as an image in the mirror. Yeap; Dale is suffering from mental illness instead of the usual zany stuff we have seen thus far.
I'm not going to touch that one so let's move on. Badger asks if he wants to be like The Red Badger of Courage. Dale wants to; but he has low self esteem. Well; that makes sense considering Chip's no work rate for Dale policy. Badger tells him about the 3 C's: Courage, Confidence and Conflicts. Which Dale mistakes as Corn Flakes, natch. Chip comes in wanting answers on who Dale is talking to and Dale claims that it's himself. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Chip blows him off because he wants him outside to enjoy a ride in Gadget's new invention. So we logically head to....Outside near a tree trunk as we see Gadget preparing a dust buster on wheels basically. Dale is giddy over it as Gadget explains it all in more words than is needed. Dale naturally has no clue what she's saying. That makes two of us as Monty sums it up: It's a fun ride. When the Aussie Stereotype sounds like the rational one; you know this episode is sucking. The chipmunk hop on as Gadget turns on the dust buster and now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
The Dust Ranger Buster rides around the city for a while and so we cut to a Jewelry Store as someone proclaims that he has been robbed. Sorry pal; you were supposed to do all this in Gorilla My Dreams. We head inside as Kirby and Muldoon are talking to the exact same guy who Koo-Koo robbed in the previous episode! Which begs the question: robbery; or filming a cartoon episode of a robbery? Kirby asks about forced entry and the store owner states that only the jewel cases are shattered. Muldoon calls this the work of a mastermind....director. Okay; I made up that last one. So we jump cut back to the sidewalk as the Dust Buster bounces into a tree as Gadget notices that they ran out of battery juice. Heh. So Gadget wants to push it back to headquarters. Chip then gets inspired because he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN as we jump cut to a toy store. And you thought Red Zone Cuba was random?! It's Moe's Toy Store as we pan down to the sidewalk to see Chip walking towards it claiming that this is perfect. The Rangers walk in and Dale gets even more giddy.
Okay; here's a weird store design: An automatic door in a Mom & Pop looking toy store. Does that makes any sense writers of the world?! We see a fat man with black hair and purple shirt (I think) tending to some supplies behind the counter as Dale sees toys and some of them contain the Red Badger of Courage brand. Geez; I wonder if Dale has badgers on the brain. This is exactly why we don't need no stikin badgers! Dale climbs up the magically placed ladder up to the shelf where the Red Badger dolls are and takes the blue cape off of one of them as the Rangers looks on in disdain. We then cut to Dale dressed up as the Red Badger with a golden toy sword as the cape goes over his eyes when he jumps down. HAHA! Finally; a great joke three and a half minutes into this thing. Dale fights the fake robot doll with the sword like he's boxing. HAHA! Now if Dale can do this for the next 20 minutes; this episode will not suck. Sadly; Dale nails the target and it's spring-loaded. HAHA! Dale flies into the dolls with the greatest of ease and they all drop into a neat pile with Dale on top. We then cut to the store owner who is grossly fat and out of shape with a blue shirt (as I was mistaken) and overalls checking on one teddy bear. He turns around and man; he looks downright fugly as he puts the toys back including calling Dale a phony. HAHA!
The toy store owner is Brian Cummings by the way as the auto doors open and in comes the kid from the beginning of the episode whose shirt has improved somewhat greeting the toy store owner. And his voice sounds exactly like Doofus'! Not a good combo as he asks for toy remote control boats. The toy store owner proclaims that he has the best selection and goes over to the section (how exactly since most of the toys seem to be on the back wall) and he notices that the shelf has been sacked. I didn't see any toy shelves on the door shot to the left nor to the right. This store is whacky with logic. The toy store owner cries that his best ships are missing; even the ones he's not selling. The boy asks for him to order more and the toy store owner proclaims that it will take a month to get them. So we cut to Monty pulling down some batteries from the battery shelf as Gadget feels sorry for the poor kid. Sadly; it's for the boat and not his bad Doofus voice. Dale is on ground level already as he asks Gadget how he looks and Gadget thinks he's dashing and Monty thinks he's daring. Chip of course thinks he's stupid. Jealous much there Chip?
Maybe playing straight man isn't what it is cracked up to be eh? Besides; there is a case to solve and Dale calls it the Case of the Missing Dingy. UH OH! This is turning into a redo of Pound of the Baskervilles; only Dale has more creditability to be stupid. Monty then notices the conveniently placed and out of nowhere paint scratches headed towards the magically out of nowhere door which is ajar. Oh god guys; stop with the Piratesy Under The Seas logic guys. Dale doesn't deserve this kind of crap again. The Ranger walk into the room and Gadget notices the drain cover is off. We get a ground shot of above as Chip lower his grappling hook line and they all decide to check it out. They drop down to the sewers (how fitting?) as Zipper flies around and notices a good quality carton of milk (sans the milk of course). The Rangers get on with plastic spoons and we rip through stage left to waste some time with organ music. We cut to see a mouse family rowing in another sewer and the boats bump; but no one falls overboard and drowns. Damn; I was hoping Monty would die in that moral sewer. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...The father mouse blows them off for bumping and the Rangers apologize. The kid mouse then points to Dale and addresses him as the Red Badger of Courage. One problem kid: Dale is a chipmunk. You need your eyes checked there son. Dale stands proud just to rub it into Chip of course. Peter Cullen is the father mouse, Tress MacNeille is the mother mouse and Chuck McCann is the child mouse (weird). Chip corrects them of course and in a shock; Chip doesn't bonk Dale on the head in reflex. Damn; now you know this episode is in trouble. The mice explain that the motor boats are chugging everywhere and causing noise as they paddle away. Funny how they don't have names; but their off-screen aunt does have one.
So we continue on in the sewer (literally and morally) as Gadget rows (Nighflight sezs BS&P notes order that Chip would row on Gadget's command. I would say Monty; but Monty wouldn't exist in the BS&P notes world) and we stop at the fork of the drainpipes. Monty wonders where to go and then an inner tube float in from one of the pipes and the Red Chipmunk of Goofiness grabs it. He calls it a tire as Chip blows him off because it's a damn good clue because it's a life preserver from the Queen Marie. Monty proclaims that they are on the right track and we go to the scene changer as an ocean liner sails through just as the milk boat arrives from the drainpipe they selected. Gadget then notices that there are two guys on board which are Sugar Ray Lizard and Arnold Mousenegger. Oh goody; that means Francis Capone is back in full swing. At least I can take Dale more seriously in the superhero costume than as a Fry clone. Gadget deduces that they got the boats by taking them apart and putting them back together which sounds awfully pointless to me.
Chip wants to follow them and tells Zipper to be very quiet. And I see Chip is rowing with Gadget. I wonder why? Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! So we head further into the sewer and see a palace made of gold and jewels which at least explains the jewelry store robbery from earlier. We see the ocean liner at the dock (sort of) as we pan down to see Francis Capone on the docks with the rest of the heels. For voice checks: Arnold is the mouse with the bow tie voiced by Brian Cummings, Sugar Ray Lizard is the iguana with the hat and Zipper shirt voiced by Chuck McCann, Francis is the dirty rat in gangster outfit voiced by Corey Burton I do believe. The two mice in underwear (a trademark seen in Mind Your Cheese & Q's. Let's see how the animators screw this one up.) I haven't have a clue although one of them sounds like Rob Paulsen. Francis orders the slaves in chains to unload the loot; but the mice are tired. So Arnold grabs both of them by the necks which is quite disturbing when the underwear they are wearing looks like a diaper. Francis blows them off for thinking he runs a B&B and Arnold wants breakfast. Francis blows him off with gangster talk and Arnold sells and throws the slaves in chains onto the front of the ocean liner near some of the jewels. He wants Castle Capone finished by the way; does Francis.
So we pan over to the drainpipe as the milk boat arrives with the Rangers. Gadget pleads that they have to free those poor mice. Man; that the best acting job I have heard from Gadget since Sunni's kick in the nuts over the Great Book of Gummi page tear. Dale has his idea set to be a superhero and screw the Rangers good. Hey; it cannot be any worse than Monty trying to do it. Why is Dale sounding more like Chip with his detective idol?! Dale rocks the boat so Chip MURDERS him with the plastic spoon. HOLY CRAP?! Did Chip coat that thing with metal while I was away? Chip blows him off because the Red Badger is not real. Again; projection much there Chipper?! Chip climbs onto the sponge and rows with the spoon as his plan is to distract Francis while the rest free the slaves. Chip climbs up the ocean liner (with Gadget telling him to be careful) as he practices the fine art of not being seen by Arnold who is tending to the slaves all unloading the loot. Well; this shouldn't be too hard. Maybe the no work rate for Dale policy might actually have a use after all. Why does Sugar Ray Lizard's face look like a corrupted goofy faced Beetle? The heels leave and we clearly see the conveniently placed remote control in front of the ocean liner. Geez; that is not contrived in the very least, no siree. Chip runs over and uses the controls while blowing off the Red Badger.
I see Chip is in full jealousy mode today. We cut to the side shot of the docks as the ocean liner moves stage left while Francis admires some gold beads. Sugar Lizard notices the ocean liner sailing away and calls out to Francis as his face returns to normal. Francis calls his goons buffoons and they jump into the toy motorboat with plungers (the same one they stole from the kid from the beginning of the episode) and it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE LOVE BOAT EDITION~! Francis fires the rope plunger and it grabs onto the side of the ocean liner. We then see the conveniently placed bottle of milk as we see Monty pop up from the carnage. See how easy it is to write Monty without resorting to him being a Super Mouse? So we see Monty and Gadget rowing while Dale does nothing but strike a pose with the golden sword. HAHA! Well; Chip is gone from the picture; so he can start up his work rate of funny once again. So we continue the chase with Chip as he speeds up the boat and that causes the motorboat to explode against a stone edge; cause Francis to fly into the air and land in the smokestack. I assume Sugar Ray and Arnold are dead; but I'm sure they'll magically teleport onto the ocean liner any minute now considering who is writing. Francis opens the door and spits a bit before sneaking up from behind Chip and sacking him with the life preserver. HAHA! Even Francis know you don't (insert swear word here) Dale's work rate.
So we go to the scene changer near the docks as the ocean liner docks and Sugar Ray and Arnold climb the ladder from the sewers. Well; at least they didn't teleport here so kudos to the writers for not being so stupid this time around. Francis throws Chip off the ship and blows off the heels as Chip takes a wussy bump on his ass on the docks. Sigh. Francis then makes me laugh by calling Chip a dirty rat. HAHA! Truer words never spoken Francis. It's projection; but whatever. Arnold then notices Gadget using the screwdriver on the chains of the slaves (the same two I might add) which magically appeared OUT OF NOWHERE. So much for that plan as Monty notices Chip is captured; but Dale stops him because they are out muscled. Umm; no Dale, it's because Dale has to screw Chip good silly. He is the Red Badger of Courage after all. Dale and company row away on the sponge and WHAT THE HELL?! Dale grows a brain?! Doesn't that contradict the whole premise of the episode right there?! UGH!! Anyhow; Francis decides not to follow because Chip will be the slave as he will work to death or else. Chip asks the dumbest question in history and Arnold and Super Ray show him the water tank filled with Mikey the purple killer fish. Oh boy! I cannot take that fish seriously as a threat even with the red eyes. Francis declares Dirty Chip Rat fish food as Chip's face is pressed against the glass for a nice added touch. Mikey chomps on cue and that ends the segment nine and a half minutes in. Not a bad episode thus far; which is a vast improvement from Mind Your Cheese & Q's.
After the commercial break; we head inside the sewers as the mice sulk about losing Chip while Dale continues to look on looking goofy of course. Dale looks befuddled as the conscience of stinkin badger stinks this episode up. Oh goody; we get the old Donald Duck conscience thing I thought would be retired. See; it's time for Dale to take charge and prove that he is a good leader and wants him to think back to episode 12. And yes; he grows eight more fingers to boot! Don't ask me why. Dale ponders over as he can barely think what he had for dinner last night; let alone such important information as episode 12. In RR speak; that would be Dale Besides Himself which is kind of fitting for this scene actually. Dale remembers and proclaims that he will take charge due to his hero. Gadget thinks it's Chip; but Dale corrects her. Gadget is not amused and Monty wishes he followed a hero sandwich. Why doesn't he and go away for the rest of the episode? Then he would be doing me a favor. So we go to the scene changer topside at the sidewalk and porthole.
Gadget has her notepad and pencil probably writing the symptoms of nuttiness to give to a reputable doctor after this episode is over. Gadget claims that it's not and Capone's castle is over the vent and not the sewer hole. Monty places the pulley system make of toy wood bricks as Dale decides to give Gadget the benefit of the doubt this time only. Well; that's an improvement over Chip's leadership that's for sure. Dale listens over the vent and proclaims that it is the place as we see Monty's chest tied to the rope and of course I think Dale is being an awesome leader here. That's called the proper use of a stereotype: Hung out to die. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm......Dale proclaims that this will work as he wants Monty to give a tug when Chip is freed and Dale trips over the conveniently placed pencil (I see Gadget likes pratfalls too) and Dale drops on his ass. HAHA! The pencil drops into the sewer and that ends the Youtube video at 10:41. Man; and this episode was picking up steam too.
After the Youtube break; we continue with the pencil falling down the vent and it lands no place because we cut to Chip with jewels galore as now he knows how Kit feels with Baloo giving him that spot. Sugar Ray Lizard decides to be a dick and whips Chip right in the ass as the jewels fall right on cue. Sugar Ray then insults Chip by calling him Alvin which Chip blows him off and Sugar Ray counters claiming that they all sound the same. HAHA! And it's true too. Take one guess who Sugar Ray was referencing as we pan north to the drain pipe (huh?) and the pencil comes out (WHAT?!) and bonks Sugar Ray and Arnold on the noggins good. HAHA! I'll let that logic break slide just this once too. Arnold grabs Chip's mouth as we see Monty being lowered right in front of the heels. HA! I am loving this. So we cut back to the pulley as Dale and Gadget feel the tug on the rope as Dale proclaims that the heels are running scared. If only Dale; if only. They pull up and sadly; it's Sugar Ray with Zipper caught. Gadget and Dale bail stage left; but Sugar Ray uses the tail to get his perverted paws on Gadget. He even calls her a wench to boot. Dale manages to make it to the pulley and turns it good which allows Sugar Ray to drop and Gadget to land on the vent as SR takes a MAN-SIZED bump right into Arnold. We then pan over to Francis as Monty and Chip are in chains now. HAHA!
And let's hope it stays that way for the Aussie Stereotype. Chip asks about the plan and Monty blows Dale off for screwing up. HEE HEE! This IS Dale's and my wet dream come alive. So we go to the scene changer and see Monty and Chip placing a gold brick into position of the castle as Sugar Ray and Arnold look on. Meanwhile; we pan over to the drainpipe as Gadget and Dale sulk along with Zipper. And here comes Red Badger Conscience to screw with Dale's mind again. He tells him to use Dale's instincts. Oh yeah; that will really work considering that is EXACTLY what Dale did in the previous plan! Dale claims he has none and Badger claims that he did which flexing the muscle even Scott Steiner wishes he had. He reminds Dale of episode 23 while ringing a bell and showing the number 23 on his muscle in flashing lights. Ahh; I see that even the new cartoons do not have a monopoly when it comes to that spot. He pops Badger away as he gets that episode. Episode #23 by the way according to the RR time line is Fake Me To Your Leader which pretty much kills the continuity that the writers were shooting for right there. Dale has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and Gadget hopes it's better than the last time. Me too Gadget love, me too albeit for different reasons.
So we go to the scene changer and see Dale looking at Gadget hiding in a soft drink container. Oooooookkkkaaaayyyyy. See; Dale will distract the bad guys (and with that suit; what can possibly go wrong with this plan?) while Gadget and Zipper free Chip and Monty with the SD submarine. Gadget goes below as Dale pushes it into the sewer. Wow; that cup is tougher than Steve Williams if it can flow through acidic sewage like that. Zipper is inside of course manning the props in the back as Dale jumps on top and it sails right in. Red Chipmunk springs into action on the docks while Gadget watches on from the submarine. She looks from the periscope shot to see Chip and Monty carrying jewels while Arnold and Sugar Ray watch on with Gruffi poses. And then they hear Dale's voice as he is on top of the heap with an acorn in his paws as he calls them slave owners. OUCH! That insults going to leave a mark. Arnold and Sugar Ray go after him of course. So Dale counter by invoking the FAKE BOMB OF NUTS and the heels run away and cover as Arnold jumps over the window and squashes Francis as he was watching the Red Badger of Courage show!! TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT! Arnold is now officially a Dirty Arnold Ratenegger. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
He's watching it because the heel was winning too which is his best part. HAHA! Arnold apologizes (like that is going to work?) because the good guy is outside. Francis calls the troops as they get into their new motorboat just after the babyfaces minus Red Chipmunk of Goofiness get into the SD submarine. That leads to the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE SOFT DRINK SUBMARINE EDITION~! Dirty Arnold stays and chases after Red Chipmunk of Goofiness on the docks and that leads to the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE CLOWN BOAT EDITION~! Take one guess why. Hint: It involves the transportation Arnold is using to chase Dale. The sub DIVES, DIVES, AROOOGA, AROOOOOOOOGGGGGAAAAAA~! So Francis counters with metal nuts to rock their submarine so to speak. Sugar Ray joins in for fun and the Rangers get rocked inside. HAHA! In a shock; the soft drink container STILL doesn't tear open.
So we continue with the clown boat chase as Dale is rowing for his life. HAHA! See; he finally did some rowing which means Monty is still a lazy fatass. POW! OUCH! Ummmm.....Arnold stops and has to reload on the toy wind up boat; so Dale rows right into the pipeline and down the drain like an idiot. Arnold believes that the Red Chipmunk of Goofiness is dead and done as he drives away stage left. So we continue on with the nut throwing and the same red screwdriver that Gadget used to free the slaves breaks though the submarine. Now THAT is payback that is too sweet! Nice to see the rookie writers paying attention for a change. Francis wants some fishing; so in comes Arnold with the Fairy Godparent Killing Butterfly Net of Death and he scoops up the babyfaces as Francis now has twice as many slaves. So we go to the scene changer as the heels return to the docks with their prey as they get thrown down onto the docks. Francis arrives and notices Gadget and wants to make her his mini moll again while murdering the other Rangers. Good for the writers to remember the best part of Mind Your Cheese & Q's. Gadget naturally blows him off for that one, DUH!! Francis hates spunk (nice CONTINUITY there too) as Zipper gets his legs chained up against Gadget's golden bracelet chains (How sweet of him too?) as it's four down and one to go. Sadly; Arnold fails to tell him that Dale is “dead”. That ends the segment 15 and a half minutes in. Wow; this episode is better than even I expected despite the bad logic at the start.
After the commercial break; we go into the sewer rapids as Dale manages to grab onto a stray milk bottle. He coughs and wheezes like a maniac and that quickly goes to the scene changer back to the castle of Francis Capone. So we head to the ocean liner as Monty and Chip put some more loot on the net as Arnold pulls the net up towards Francis. Francis gets the loot and orders Arnold to make the Rangers speed up the process so the ocean liner is cleaned before midnight because he has another robbery in mind. Chip hears this and whisper yells to Monty that they need to bust out of here now. So we cut to a side shot of the ocean liner as the crack logic team strikes again with Dale hanging onto a soft drink container instead of a milk bottle. Damn it; we were going all so well on this one too. Dale realizes that he needs to stop them; but he doesn't know how. And of course the Red Badger of Courage comes into his head again. Any sane person would realize by now that listening to him is folly; but Dale is nuts so I doubt that he will get it. And naturally he doesn't as the Red Badger tells him about the damsel in distress which Dale cannot remember and Badger poops away. Dale agrees with Chip that he has a soft head. HAHA!
So we return to inside the ocean liner as the Ranger huddle together near the net of loot (completing the loot gathering) as Chip whispers his plan (and we cannot hear it) to the other Rangers. Gadget then sweet talks Arnold who has the Gruffi pose on full blast. She has a chain stuck and wants it loose as Arnold gladly jumps into the pile which is enough for Monty to tackle him down. Gadget grabs the key; but Francis enter and counters with the golden fork. HAHA! Francis demands that everyone resume work; but he gets his perverted paws on Baby Doll Gadget. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm.. And there's nothing Mr. Fat can do about it now. He gives Gadget one last chance to be his moll and Gadget blows him off because she would rather be caught in a mousetrap. That may be the stupidest quote Gadget has ever said in her life. Because we ALL know where this is going. Francis shuts her and actually slaps her right into Monty's arms. HOLY CRAP! And Toon Disney allowed it too. Geez; thanks guys. Showing more evidence that TaleSpin was downplayed.
The heels walk away stage right as Chip has a plan and it involves Gadget being Francis' bitch....ERRRR...I mean moll. I have lost respect for Chip after THAT decision and even Gadget doesn't like that one bit. Monty calls Chip out on his sexism; but Chip claims that it's not real. It's until Gadget becomes free so they can be freed. Francis is about to leave the ocean liner as Gadget comes out and we have some seducing from Gadget to waste time. Oh boy; we ALL know where this is going. And Gadget is going to hate Chip after this one is over. Anyhow; Francis agrees and so he wants Gadget to meet his other moll as Gadget is SHOCKED and APPALLED to see Dale dressed as a woman. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Lady Dale is apparently Tootsie now according to Francis. Boy; Francis is REALLY stupid not to notice the red nose of Dale's; but sexists aren't always smart enough to notice seduction when they see it. Tootsie is Francis' main squeeze as Dale isn't exactly thrilled to be hugging Francis as Gadget whines about being his only moll. Isn't it funny that Dale's plans can in theory work; but the other Rangers keep screwing the pooch and Dale gets the blame for it. Projection is so catching isn't it? Francis offers the position only if the two cat fight over themselves on a shopping spree at Jiffies as Francis walks out. Gadget then blows Dale off for screwing up her plans. What plans Gadget love? I thought you HATED being his moll and were faking it. Somehow; I don't think Dale can fake this to save his life. Dale proclaims that he's inspired by the Red Badger and Gadget basically tells him to seek help and leaves. Why? If he did; he wouldn't be funny anymore.
So we head to the Fiffenw's Jewelry City (DAMMIT! They couldn't even say it properly. Talk about continuity wires being crossed here.) as Francis sings about these beautiful things while grabbing onto some diamond rings after shattering the glass case, natch. Oh come on! I wanted to see Gadget and Dale fake a cat fight. It's not like we didn't see one in A Touch of Glass. He drops the rings to Arnold and picks them up and leaves; leaving the rest of the gold behind. He throws down the stuff and it expands into about four times as many stuff down the drain pipe and into the motorboat guarded by Sugar Ray. Francis throws down the diamond ring to Gadget (who has lost her golden chains I see) and calls her doll face. Dale gets jealous and Gadget calls him out on it and that leads to the D&G argument #1 (You know it's rookie writers when THAT happens) and then they catch themselves. So Dale whisper yells to Gadget about a plan and then Fake D&G Argument #1 commences. I await with baited breath over the possible cat fight to come and even Francis likes one. So Gadget breaks the ice and tackles Tootsie! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! Joey Styles is in his element now! How ironic since it's a chipmunk and a mouse fighting over each other. Sadly; the fighting sets off the alarm (something tells me that wasn't a work; at least in Gadget's mind) as the red sirens go off and Francis panics. He grabs his molls (EWWWWWW Mr. Weagle) and everyone bails with the loot as Kirby and Muldoon enter the store with the guns set to profits. Geez; that was awfully conveient of them isn't it?! Muldoon calls this one weird; but Kirby is thankful that they didn't get it all this time around.
So we go to the scene changer as we go to the docks as Francis orders the male Rangers captured to unload the loot for him. Arnold follows them as Dale asks what now. Gadget has a plan in mind and Dale hopes that it doesn't break a nail for him. Gadget goes over to Arnold and sweet talks him again. Arnold hands her the bowling ball and Gadget drops it on his foot off-screen; causing Arnold to do the foot grabbing spot and Gadget steals the keys. HA! Francis calls her a dirty rat because whore is forbidden on DTVA of course. It is still fitting for her since she IS a mouse after all. Gadget is out of the running for being Francis' moll and he hugs Tootsie; whose orange wig falls off blowing Dale's cover. Memo to Dale: Try superglue. The benefits pay better even when it's hell to get it off. Dale grabs her wig which is absolutely pointless and bails stage right as Francis calls him a dirty moll and we have the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE DIRTY FAKE MOLL EDITION~!
Chip yells for Dale to run. Ummm; thanks for the effort you straight man moron. We then cut to Gadget on the ocean liner throwing the remote control to Monty. NO! NO! NO! Don't let Monty become Super Mouse! I beg of you; I don't want to see it after Mind Your Cheese & Q's. Arnold tackles him down (YAY!); but Monty manages to throw it to Chip being chased by Sugar Ray (fine by me). Chip throws the remote control to Dale who throws the stick on the joystick and gets tackled by Francis and loses the remote. Too late as Francis looks to beat down the dirty fake moll; but the ocean liner drives up and destroys the castle and shatters the water tank featuring Mikey. The heels bail into the sewer as the free Mikey goes after them. That's right; they didn't use the death trap until THAT moment. I shake my head in disgust as we hear Francis yelling at his goon squad to shut up. And here's a really gruesome BS&P logic break: Wasn't Gadget ON the ocean liner when she threw the remote? I didn't see her get off.
So when we go to the scene changer we see her and the other Rangers safe and sound on the street opening a sewer port cover. That's the third or fourth time the writers did that teleportation move in this series. We then pan right to see the police car coming. The car stops as Kirby and Muldoon step out to cover the manhole cover and Muldoon notices that the jewels are all piled up down in the sewer. Kirby can only scratch his head on all this as we pan left to the fire hydrant as the Rangers officially wrap up this case. Gadget calls Dale a moll just to amuse me as Dale thanks the Red Badger for his help. Then the conscience returns and refuses to take the credit of others because Dale did it all by himself. HA! See; Badger's plan was not what Dale's was and Dale gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY because he's a hero. No, not really; but the effort was certainly there. Badger winks at Dale while cutting a lame promo (Here's winking at you kid. UGH!) and disappears as Dale looks at the camera and ends the episode at 21:16. This is better than I expected due to Dale and Gadget's involvement; but the logic and silliness still drags it down. Call this one ** ½ (50%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; we end the pre-Disney Afternoon episodes with an average episode that could have been made so much worse given the writers. I'm glad that the writers remembered the best parts of Mind Your Cheese & Q's (few as they were); but that didn't stop them from creating a lot of goofy logic and bad animation mistakes out of the wazoo. Let's face it; this was on the strength of Dale and Gadget's performance with Francis and it worked out good enough to save the episode as a whole. I still don't get the point of Mikey being there for the finish since they never used him otherwise. Probably because I couldn't take him seriously and it made Francis look weak at the end for the finish. I also found the plans Dale was hatching to be quite reasonable for the most part and it was Dale screwing up the best laid plans with minor mistakes rather than Dale screwing up the plan making in general. It reduced the ending's effectiveness quite a bit in Dale thinking out a plan for himself; made worse when it was Gadget's teamwork plan that saved them thus contradicting the whole ending. At least the writers knew to keep Monty from murdering this fragile episode in general. In other words; an average episode. Next up is the Disney Afternoon episodes of Rescue Rangers; starting with Zipper Come Home and the infamous Puffed Rangers. So......
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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