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Bearly Alive Re-Rant
Reviewed: 09/26/2010
Additional
Commentary: 09/28/2021
Al Khan's Second Worst Nightmare Come To Life!
Original Airdate: 09/24/1990 (Syndication), Episode #15 (TaleSpin DVD Volume 1, Disc 2), Episode #16 (Production Order).
Bearly
Alive Notes
Bearly
Alive Transcript
Yes folks; the caption does have something to do with it. (2016 Gregory Weagle Says: The point I was trying to make was that 4Kids shows did their damnest to never say die, kill, dying or even fatal because apparently; if a child hears these words, they will kill each other or it was because parents are too fragile a snowflake to handle the responsibility of telling their children what those words mean and think their children are worse off if they did. Of course, in the short term; it works. But in the long term; it's often going to lead to the child not wanting to trust the adult for not being honest and up front about it. There are ways to be honest about death without being blunt about it; but being dishonest is far worse. So here's TaleSpin; which has already referenced die, kill and death already in this series in a few instances; and this episode is about someone "dying". If this were 4Kids; they would either not air the episode; or change every word to something hilariously not about death. It would look more like Scrooge's Last Adventure than what we got here.) Our next re-rant features an episode in which everyone except you know who (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Kit Cloudkicker, everyone.), thinks Baloo is going to die soon and Baloo wants one final wish: To conquer the Bearmuda Trapezoid whatever the hell that means. Unlike Seer No Evil as you will see; this does have a lesson to be learned here; but it's not a moral one. (Yeah; it's basically Ken Koonce and David Weimers testing BS&P's patience, which by the way was Jymn Magon himself in case you didn't catch the interview with him. Unlike most statements; him saying that he was the censor of the show is believable given how much this show got away with.) Sadly; I believe this is one of the first episodes under the KK/DW regime which was slowly losing heat as self-stealing infected their otherwise decent minds. I know Ducktales did this with Scrooge in Scrooge's Last Adventure; but this has been done with Top Cat. (Top Cat came first, Bearly Alive came next and Scrooge's Last Adventures aired shortly thereafter. So Ducktales knocked off TaleSpin; and in one aspect was better in the fact that they had a great second subplot to back them up in the first visages of Internet Banking. It was a sight to behold if you can get past that godawful Plan B joke with the nephews and Scrooge (although it was hilarious when Fenton did it; but that's Fenton.).)
(The problem with Ken Koonce and David Weimers here is: It wasn't driving the point of "dying" to the ground that angers me since it was a part of the storyline and they had to keep the thing going until the end since there was no secondary subplot to back this episode up. It wasn't the fact that none of the audience can feel the same sympathy towards Rebecca's sobbing about her pilot dying before her eyes because we know he's not dying simply because we are the ones assuming that every character must have psyhic powers, therefore they are idiots. Although Rebecca's Idiot Ball stuff is mostly due to Doctor O'Myer's antics more than anything else. Heck; Kit not apologizing is fine too; because he did admit to Rebecca that he broke the gyro-compass and a compass can easily be replaced, and Kit didn't mean to pull it out during Scarf & Goggles. Heck; I can even appreciate the writers for getting so many "die" and "kill" words in one episode. You rarely see this even in anime at that point. However; what angers me is that they did all this and completely forgot to story edit their own story to get rid of a lot of mistakes that were made. Wang Films animation errors were not good either; but at least they were limited to coloring mistakes and one logic break near the end. The writers mistakes involved breaking logic and wasting time. So yeah; this is probably the worst episode the duo ever wrote in this series. On A Wing & A Bear had similar problems; but they were less noticable than this (most of the mistakes I mentioned are in the third act.). The Time Bandit was written pretty good from a logical standpoint; but got plagued by sexist writing more than anything else. This one was proof that Ken and David care more about pushing the envelope than writing a good script that made sense, almost to the point that Dean Stefan came in to at least clean up some of the mess they made. It wasn't enough sadly.) So, talking about who ripped off who is a waste of time at this point. The punchline: How many times does it take for BS&P to notice that the writers are screwing with your mind? (Over/under is fifteen references by the way.) Let's rant on and find out shall we?
This episode is written by Ken Koonce, Dean Stefan and David Weimers. The story was edited by Ken Koonce and David Weimers. The animation is done by Wang Films Animation.
We begin this one at Higher...For...Hire as Baloo tells Rebecca that he's going into town for her "hair ribbons and flypaper". Rebecca corrects him as typewriter ribbons and carbon paper as we see Rebecca at her desk. (Baloo making such a simple mistake in this is a sign of big trouble; and it gets worse from there. No wonder Rebecca was checking to see if Baloo was all right; his brain seems to be scrambled here.) Baloo calls it whatever she said as he tries to leave; but Rebecca stops him, of course. She gets up and asks how he is feeling and Baloo states that he's fine. She literally checks for fever, cough and even orders Baloo to stick out his tongue. Baloo sticks it out and it's about three times longer than a human one as Rebecca sees nothing unusual; however, she wants to be the first to know if he starts to feel sick. Baloo isn't amused and sarcastically proclaims that he didn't know she cared. Baloo tries to walk out; but he sneezes. HAHA! I see the dusting of dust from last night has taken it's effects on Pop-A-Bear. Rebecca pulls him away and calls him out on it. Baloo thinks she has her panties in a wad. See; Rebecca recently read Fly Boy Magazine (Doesn't that sound a wee bit out of character for her even by this show's multi-sided standards? (Maybe Rebecca is trying to develop her character into something more than being a two dimensional character. Oh; like being similar to a human being. What would be wrong with that? Anyhow; what a sexist magazine this Flyboy magazine is?! It should be "Flyperson Magazine", considering that a woman pilot is supposed to be in evidence later on.)) and there is a front cover article of a Conwing L-16 (In grey/red props scheme) crashing into a mountain after getting the hiccups. Was it a comedy or tragedy? Answer: both. See; she isn't putting the SeaDuck in that kind of risk of crashing and burning due to sneeze and so Baloo is going to the doctor for a checkup. Also she is taking no for an answer, natch! (I don't blame Rebecca for trying to force Baloo to go to the doctor; he has weight issues and it plays into the "test results" later on.)
We head to the docks and inside the SeaDuck as Kit Cloudkicker is playing scarf and goggles in the front pilot seat of the SeaDuck. I see the "machine gun noises" rule is not in evidence. I guess it's all right if a boy does it and not a girl. BS&P is so sexist, says I! (The funniest thing about 2010 Me's dumb promos is that there was at least one instance of machine gun noises added for Molly in syndication where the movie version, it was absent. So in other words; syndication figured it out. Also of note; when it comes to gender in modern cartoons today; machine gun noises are barred for all of them! You must do laser noises, because bullet sounds make school adminstrators go something something.) Kit gets too carried away with the stick and unintentionally MURDERS Baloo's conveniently placed gyrocompass right out of the socket. Now, Kit is so dead as he thinks Baloo is going to kill him. That's the first death reference of the episode barely a minute in. More to come, I assure thee. Kit actually is the first and maybe only child character to say kill, die and god all in the same series. Would have been two if Fluppy Dogs didn't exist. (I think Kit said kill once, die at least thrice and god once in the series.) Kit goes out of the SeaDuck and goes to have it fixed. Yeap; it's all Kit's fault that this episode even happened; and it won't be the last time either. (By the way critics of the cartoon world: Where is the screaming of bloody murder when Kit breaks something? Granted; Kit merely broke a compass that is easy to replace; but that's not the main issue here. The main issue here is later on because since there are no cellphones in the 1930's; how is Kit going to get away with this without Baloo noticing it? More to the point; how is he going to keep this away from Rebecca? Answer: He doesn't have to; because Rebecca acts like an idiot later on when O'Myer answers the phone.)
We head up to an island section of Cape Suzette (It must be since there is a rowboat and it seems to be the only way to get to that island judging by the docks and small cabin.). We pan up to Doctor O'Myer's technology place (Pat Fraley) as Kit asks if he can fix it and O'Myer basically confuses the hell right out of me which Kit somehow takes it as saving his life. I didn't know Kit could translate "Confused Doctor Speak to English"?! (I don't know why I called Doctor O'Myer (O'Meyer) Doctor Olhmeyer here since O'Myer is clearly said in the audio and part of his gimmick is that he says "Oh my!" a lot. That makes sense at least.) Anyhow; we head inside the lab as a lizard furry who has white hair and glasses (He clearly is TaleSpin's version of Doctor Emmett Brown from Back To The Future.) takes the X-rays out of the machine as Kit wants to see the results; but O'Myer blows him off because Kit might smudge the X-rays as they are fragile. O'Myer looks at the pictures and it doesn't look good as it is one sick Googleschlocker gyrocompass. Google is googal (One followed by a hundred zeroes. Thank you Square One Television for that lesson and giving the greatest search engine on the planet that name.) and I don't think we need to know what schlocker is. (Since 2010 Me knows that this would cause no outrage because of rose-tinted glasses syndrome; I'll explain it: The Schlocker is: index and middle fingers in the slit, thumb stimulating the clit, and just as she's about to climax, pinky in the trunk. So, much more erotic than the shocker, it's like touching Heaven and reaching for Hell. That is what Urban Dictionary says. So yes folks; yet another pronographic slang reference in a 1990's children's cartoon. Disney is squeaky clean?! How can anyone say that?! Me not know how that can be possible?! Also of note; the actual defintion is something of poor quality. So it's a Google Crappy gyrocompass. Geez; no wonder O'Myer cannot fix it and no wonder Kit broke it. Usland craftsmanship at it's crappiest.)
Anyhow; O'Myer claims that he may be able to fix it and Kit calls him out on that just to provide evidence to my theory. (That he's a quack doctor? Ummm, yip. So much for "no maybes about it".) O'Myer has found a maybe as the humionoodle is kaput (I call "quack doctor" since there is NO such word as humionoodle. I think he meant "humnoodle"; which I think is German. Minoodle according to Urban Dictionary: A superfluous exclamation of conversation, expressed when one feels the need to voice their opinion of a dead-silent situation. Yeah; it's not much. ) and the magically out of nowhere fly comes out to bug O'Myer. He tells him to leave the gyrocompass with him as he tries to MURDER the fly and having no luck whatsoever. He won't beat around the bush because he cannot beat the fly with a bush. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Okay; that was in fact funny 2010 Me. Anyhow; he basically tells Kit to leave the compass with him and that is that. So far, so good in this pilot; outside of the Wang coloring mistakes.) We head inside Rebecca's office as Baloo has returned to the office with an paper bag with orange goo on the bottom as he tells Rebecca that her worries are over. There are a few tests pending; but otherwise, Baloo is one airworthy bear. Rebecca is still working at the desk and she blushes right on cue in between the "SeaDuck is okay, you are okay" part. Can you smell the romance coming out of her? HEE HEE! (Nah; she tripped on putting more importance on a machine than a furry being and then realized how scoiopathic that sounded and recanted her statement, which she blushed. Nice one, Miss Cunningham.) Anyhow; Baloo shows her the bag as he didn't forget the paper-wrapped chicken and spare ribs. HAHA! Baloo needs help with his context in words again as Rebecca blows him off for that one. Baloo puts the paper bag mess on her desk, gleefully counters that one for me and walks out.
Baloo waves at her and closes the door as Rebecca whines in response. (I guess she wanted no nurtitional value in her order and you all wonder why I don't buy her as being an outright jerk?) Finally, the phone rings as we begin one of the most contrived plot devices ever in this series (And that's not saying much considering how this show avoids this kind of stuff. (Actually; this setup to the "dying" angle was much better than Scrooge's Last Adventure in that -- outside of one major mistake which occured in Scrooge's Last Adventure by the way --. The setup was booked as it should have been. Unlike the nephews; Kit didn't do Plan B at all and destroying the compass in the SeaDuck was done perfectly as there was literally no one around to see it. That made the events more believable and it was made to the point where you could at least understand when Rebecca find out that Baloo is "dying" that I could buy that he was legit dying if I were in her position. I don't have to suspend my disbelief here because if I were in her "shoes"; I would probably respond the same way. So, the plot is nowhere near as contrived as I originally thought and even later on when they drove the whole thing to the ground. However; the mistakes made later on makes this harder to watch in hindsight.). It does start off with Rebecca answering the phone and we get the split screen spot as it's Doctor O'Myer (According to Disney Captions. I like my version of the name better thank you. (Nope; Disney Captions got his name right, actually.)) at his lab table with the phone as he has the x-ray of the gyrocompass in his hands. He wants Rebecca to sit down and Rebecca states that she is. Doctor O'Myer tells her to stand up. Rebecca sells and the doctor tells her to sit down. Okay; that was funny enough. (Even funnier; Rebecca doesn't sit down until after the doctor says that it's bad news.)
Sadly; the quack doctor has bad news because it's worse than he thought. (If a remake is made; please redo this scene and have Wade Barrett voice O'Myer. His "But I'm afraid I have got bad news!" promos are awesome!) He then tells a knock-knock joke to convey that the gyrocompass' time is up and it's one bad Googleschlocker. (Which is hilarious when you consider that schlocker means "of poor quality". So this compass was doomed long before it made it into the SeaDuck.) Rebecca sells it as she thinks it's Baloo's doctor and asks what she can do about this sad moment. The "compassionate" doctor responds that she can sell her the spare parts. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Dr. Mercy and Dr. Pimple Popper this doctor is not, that is for sure.) Rebecca sells it as being offended and slams the phone down. Oh, for goodness sakes! This is contrived because Rebecca should be smarter than that to know that spare parts does not mean Baloo is going to die. If he said "sell the spare organs"; then this would have made sense. I'm guessing this is a BS&P decision; but that sounds really silly considering the "screw you" the writers would give to BS&P later on. (Yeah; that line should have been redubbed because while selling organs is illegal and would make O'Myer look like a heel, it would make the most sense. I realize that O'Myer's line is slang and could easily be a variation of "selling organs"; but Rebecca is book smart, so she would have realized that O'Myer was not talking about Baloo here. I would have redubbed the line to "Well; you could donate the spare parts to me."; and that would have been more convincing. Or even "Well, how about being an organ donar?" Sure; that's a "sleazy commercial promo" on the kids; but it makes even more sense than what we have here. Still; this mistake is a light strike compared to what is to come in the third act, because otherwise, David and Ken are doing as good as they can.)
Anyhow; Rebecca is in shock and feeling pretty bad for Pop-A-Bear right now as Baloo comes back in and asks if he can have the bag of spare ribs if she doesn't want them. Rebecca decides to get this thing over with quickly and we do the somewhat funny "sit down, stand up joke" again. This episode is okay so far; but that little mistake a few seconds ago hurts Rebecca's heat quite a bit and for different reasons than the usual jerk antics Rebecca is known for. Baloo is confused to all this as Rebecca tries the old BS&P standby "Try to explain death without using the word die" and using Baloo's dreams of ordering a life time subscription to Flyboy Magazine as a way. Baloo doesn't get it. Rebecca tries the "No Birthday Party Will Ever Top Last Years" way and Baloo doesn't get it as Baloo accuses Rebecca of spinning her props again. See; this is why not saying die in this sitaution DOESN'T FUCKING WORK~! (I'm loving how Ken and David; for all of their faults and there are many, are trying to send a message that if you book someone who is supposed to be "dying"; that it is impossible to paint a smiley face on it without making the person saying it look like an idiot. Might as well ice the plotline completely if it is considered problematic to you.) Finally, Rebecca proclaims that his doctor called and it's the worst. Baloo finally starts to get it somewhat as he goes overdramatic asking if this is his last ride and all sorts of silliness. Rebecca finally screams that Baloo is dying for death reference number two for the episode and sobs like a baby. Baloo just walks out as Rebecca continues to sob on anything she can find as the door closes. Here's the obvious problem to this: We know Baloo's not dead, so the plotline has to be played for comedy and TaleSpin wasn't really built as a comedy series.
(2020 Gregory Weagle Says: The pecking order of TaleSpin in terms of genres: #1 Characters and interactions to such, #2 Setting and interactions to such, #3 Adventure, #4 Drama (soap opera or otherwise), #5 Comedy. Another reason we don't see anyone interested in rebooting this show.) If this was done on Darkwing Duck, then this would be macho funny. This is merely there. It also doesn't help that BS&P stepped in and made Rebecca look dumb with the spare parts joke either. Needless to say; this better be played on emotion and Ken Koonce and David Weimers are not that good on drama either. So, this is going to be a little bit painful to watch as we go to the docks as Baloo just sulks about his last days. (Personally; the real painful part of this episode now is no longer the driving of this plotline to the ground; it was due to logic breaks that wouldn't have happened if Karl Geurs was story editing David and Ken's scripts; because it's clear David and Ken don't think they did anything wrong and think they are so talented that they can story edit themselves. They are no Mark Zaslove.) He calls himself a goner, a solid goner. (I got to imagine that the rough draft script planned for this episode had much more references to dead than was allowed in the final script. There's no way you can have so many avoidances to the words die, death and kill and then turn around and say all three words without a second thought.) Baloo proclaims that he has had a good life and has no regrets as he did everything he wanted to do. However; he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that he has one more thing he could be before he "dies". We head back in Rebecca's office as Rebecca continues her Grade A sob fest at her desk. At least Sally Struthers is making an effort on the acting department to make this episode not suck. (Were there any episodes in All The Family that were like this one?)
Baloo comes in as Rebecca recovers and asks what he would like. Baloo proclaims that he has one last favor to ask. They proceed to waltz toward the red chair, Rebecca pushes Baloo into it and the chair falls backwards with Baloo in it, causing a really good bump in the process. We see Baloo taking some grapes from a conveniently placed fruit salad bowl with a box on top as Baloo's final wish is to fly the SeaDuck into the Bearmuda Trapezoid. (I should note that Wang Films' creditability streak continues as the fruit bowl started with just grapes and then added an apple and orange in some shots afterwards.) Rebecca calls "time out" on that and Baloo calls her out on the "anything: deal. Rebecca explains that the Bearmuda Trapezoid is terrifying because people fly in; but they don't fly out. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: This would be the second landmark location that Ducktales 2017 used outside of Higher For Hire/Cape Suzette.) Wow; that's is more dangerous than the real thing. I think. Baloo counters that he's barely alive (Hence the episode title's play on words.) and if he makes it out he goes down in history. (Bad sign of an episode starting to slowly tank: Cutting a promo of the episode. Luckly; the real tanking of this episode doesn't occur until the third act.) Like the inventors of the airplane in this world: Wilbur and Orville, like the Kitty Hawk Kids for instance. (Kitty Hawk is a community in North Carolina I should note. Okay; I orignally thought that Wilbur and Orville were separate from the Kitty Hawk Kids and that Wilbur and Orville were never seen nor heard from again; but the reference Baloo is shooting for here if that Wilbur and Orville are the Kitty Hawk Kids and he was referencing the Wright Brothers. In fact; they used their names directly. The problem with this is; the show takes place in 1937 and only the real Orville would have been alive, where Wilbur died 25 years earlier. The Kitty Hawk is a reference to their plane which they were known as the first aviators in the real world. It's a really neat reference, but it got bogged down by the pesky fact that only one brother should have been alive at this point.)
We get some posters of Wilbur, Orville (Who are the Kitty Hawk kids who look like badgers, I think. (They look like hedgehogs by the way; and I swear one of them looks similar to Vrigil Reality from Bubsy.)), a picture of a hen in the middle and an armadillo all wearing flight outfits. Sadly; the middle one's name is female and she's...wait for it...Amelia Airhead. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE WRITERS?! Was Ameila Skyhart taken for some odd reason? That is downright insulting even to my senses guys. (I realize that it's a direct reference to Amelia Earhart; and in fact, this show's time period and the plotline for the episode is perfect for her appearance; so they got everything right on that front. Only the name is insulting and probably sexist in my view. I should note that in Bygones; she's called Amelia Bearhart, so there are two of them in this series (one is a hen, one is a bear); and the hen was found, but not the bear. I'm surprised that they didn't follow up on this; but you know the old saying: Eisner wants milk and only Pop-A-Bear can provide it. Never mind those jambroni's like Kit, Rebecca or even the ultra popular Don Karnage, they can go to Warner Brothers if they are complaining about not being used to get over. Ungrateful bastards!) Then there is Oscar Wiggerstomper and he's famous for doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING! (Except being the only legend who does in fact speak in this episode. Nice one there writers.) Rebecca isn't happy for this because if Baloo doesn't make it back the SeaDuck is history and so is her business. Considering Feminine Air; I think her business is already done; unless she uses an underage pilot named Kit Cloudkicker to do the job. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Rebecca actually tried to solve that problem and it worked. Too well I might add. Again; I can understand Rebecca's situation due to the events of Feminine Air later on...)
Anyhow; Baloo states that he always brings the SeaDuck back in shape, Rebecca recoils and realizes that she has been shallow about this dream. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Personally, I think Rebecca is in the right here. This is a suicide dream I ever saw one and I would perfer Baloo dying of a heart attack than this mission.) Rebecca tells Baloo to go and make history . Baloo takes off his cap and thanks her. We then cut to the front entrance as Baloo opens the door and walks out. Then we cut back to Rebecca's desk as she makes a call to All Freight Insurance (One guess as to the parody. (Allstate Insurance.)) and asks about the SeaDuck's policy on disappearances. Apparently; it does cover that kind of incident and Rebecca wants to double the coverage. Well; you got to hedge your bets somehow. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Also, insurance policies can be considered a motive for murder as countless watchings of Foresnic Files has taught me.) We head somewhere in a park as we see a spike and a horseshoe clang against it perfectly. Something tells me it's Kit's horseshoe. We zoom out and see Kit asking Baloo why they are pitching horseshoes. Baloo responds that he wants Kit to go through life pitching horseshoes with Poppa Bear at least once. Kit blows him off because he thinks this is stupid. HAHA! Baloo proves his point by pitching the horseshoe and it attaches itself to a branch of a tree. (This is Teddy Ruxpin animation level logic: Baloo threw the horseshoe in such a way that it should have hit the ground; but it lands in a tree even though Baloo was nowhere near a tree for that to happen. I get that Baloo is supposed to suck at horseshoes, but come on!) We then see Kit eyeing the next target (With the evil stink eye; good one Wang Films.) as Baloo does this overwrought speech: (Here's a lesson to future adults: Never overwrought the speech. Doing so causes the person hearing it to not buy what you sell and they are only being polite because it's the human thing to do.)
Baloo:
Now Lil' Britches, I never want you to sass your elders, forget to
say your prayers or let your cornflakes get soggy. {Kit's
reaction to this is priceless as we all know Kit's trait is to sass
corrupt elders and that 4Kids would NEVER let him say his prayers
since that is religious and therefore edited. (Kit's reaction is "I'm
so not buying this crap! You're up to something Baloo. You sound like
someone who is dying." So in other words; Kit knows something is
up. Baloo is doing the always insulting: "I cannot let on to Kit
that I'm going to die soon; so I'll do stuff with him to make sure
the pain is lessened." That to me and especially to Kit
Cloudkicker himself, is insulting because this is Kit Cloudkicker we
are talking about. He was an ex-homeless orphan in the middle of the
Depression era where every day might be his last due to starvation,
thugs and insensetive adults; an ex-sky pirate which is basically in
a terrorist group whose MO is "don't let them live" and
he's now working at a job which requires him to be in danger of
possible sky pirate attacks and if the plane is having problems,
having to go out there where one mistake and he's dead. There is no
possible way that Kit isn't going to be able handle being told that
Baloo is going to die. In fact, in one fanfic where Rebecca dies, Kit
shows incredible restraint in all this before finally breaking down.
He can take this kind of thing. I betcha he knows people who have
died and just doesn't want to talk about it.)}
Kit:
Yeah; I promise. But this is still stupid. {Amen Kit! Kit
throws his horseshoe and it's another bullseye.}
Baloo:
Maybe. But someday, when you're President or something, you'll wish
you were back playing horseshoes with your old buddy. (I just
love how Baloo is treating Kit like a friend instead of the
father/son relationship this show shoots for in certain episodes.
Real interesting.)
Kit: Oh, be real! Presidents
have better things to do than play horseshoes!
HAHA! If only some of our previous presidents would take that advice (Bush Sr. And Jr. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Sadly, we are a better world if Donald Trump just played golf and didn't do a thing in hindsight.); I'm looking at you! (That's a money line right there and thank you President Obama for listening to it.)). Baloo then throws his last horseshoe and it falls into the drink and drowns. Just like this episode seems to like doing. (That last throw is in fact symbolic and fitting considering what happens later on with WildCat flying a plane for the second time in the series.) We head back to the docks as Baloo is in the navigator's seat saying goodbye to Rebecca as the engines are on and the hair whips around in response. They say their final goodbyes as Rebecca does an admiral job selling this as logic break #1 of the episode finally happens as Baloo is now in the pilot seat as he pulls on the lever (JESUS~!) and the SeaDuck flies away leaving Rebecca to sob some more. (Nah; Baloo simply shuffled from the window of the navigational seat to the pilot's seat. There was no logic break there; only coloring errors from Wang Films so far.) See; she loves Baloo but she doesn't want to admit it herself; but now that Baloo is "dying"; she can let it out. Nice attention to detail; I just wish BS&P didn't ruin it. Rebecca gets some smoke in her face as she backs up coughing. The SeaDuck turns around backwards and then flies right out of Cape Suzette as Baloo messes with the controls and proclaims that he hates messy goodbyes. (I hate them too, Pop-A-Bear; because this is going to get even messier since Ken Koonce and David Weimers are too busy testing the censors to care later on.) So we head back to the entrance of Higher...For...Hire as Kit has a copy of Flyboy Magazine as he runs into the office and gives the WRAITH OF KIT onto Rebecca for replacing Baloo! Rebecca admits that she has to and Kit blows her off for it. (Umm; Kit? If Rebecca is saying that she was afraid she had to; she didn't fire Baloo because Baloo did anything wrong. She fired her because she thought Baloo was going to die. She would have no choice, but to replace the pilot.)
Rebecca finally tells her that Baloo has a busted Googleschlocker and Kit realizes that he has been had. Rebecca goes to the window frame near the door of the office and cries against it. (In a great way; Baloo "dying" still feels believable because Baloo is a fatass and eats a lot. I mean; he is daring a heart attack to kill him at this point; so even though we know he's not dying, his size still makes it believable that this guy could drop dead at anytime from a heart attack. Another advantage over Scrooge's Last Adventure in that one; albeit a minor one.) Kit admits that he broke the gyrocompass. (Notice how he admitted to this and felt bad about it midway through the episode when he found out that Baloo was "dying". Johnny Ass...Test would never admit to it and act like a scoiopath during this if he were put in the same spot. The nephews kept up the facade until the very end and Scrooge should have at least chased the nephews out of the Money Bin; but instead acted like a child at the expense of driving the Plan B joke into the ground once again. At least here; they paid off the ad thing at the end instead; and when Baloo was told that he wasn't going to die, he was happy until Rebecca yelled at him that he could still die if he doesn't land the plane. More on that later. Bearly Alive did a good job of at least giving us a mature take on the "dying" plotline and the characters handled their emotions like pros here. It's the sloppiness that angered me. If it wasn't for the subplot of Internet Banking being a compelling subject at the time; Scrooge's Last Adventure would have been far worse than it ultimately was.) Rebecca is shocked and appalled by this as Kit tries to explain himself; but Rebecca yells at him to stop with the gory details. Yes; she said "gory", a word you would only hear with violent video games and politicans who hate them. (I can only imagine the millions of buys seeing an Al Gore character looking like a zombie. It's too obvious as a joke.)
Rebecca then admits that Doctor O'Myer said there is nothing he can do and Kit realizes just how screwed he is. He proclaims that he is going to the junkyard to get a spare. Rebecca is in WRAITH OF BECKEY mode because it's a life organ and not some part of a plane. (There is a great double meaning spot here: When Kit snaps his fingers and decides to go to the junkyard to get a spare; he runs out of the office and jumps into the rowboat; indicating that the junkyard is probably in the same area as where he went to Professor O'Myer's place. More so; Kit probably ran off to avoid having Rebecca grab him and strangle him for treating Baloo like a toy. Of course; we all know he's not dead and Kit was talking about the compass, making Rebecca look like a fool.) Kit finally ends this nonsense as he is in the rowboat (the same one we saw earlier) with Rebecca following him and Kit states that it is and it's right next to the flopperdat. Did Kit somehow catch O'Myer's "that's not a word" infection? (Not really; he meant "flopper adaptor" which implies that Baloo does spear-fishing underwater in his spare time.) Rebecca finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and thanks the heavens literally (second religious reference of the episode (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: I don't get why heaven is so great. Listen, in hell you get tortured by a serial killer by accessory to God, and in heaven you get tortured by a Hitler-wannabe. Not much wiggle room there, probably one of the reasons why religion is often excised from dubs.)) that Baloo is not dying of a heart attack basically (death reference #3 for the episode).
Then she catches herself as Kit proclaims that he shouldn't be flying without the gyrocompass as Rebecca helps Kit up and they go into the office making sure to say dying (death reference #4 for the episode) and kill (death reference #5; second kill of the episode) beforehand. (Okay; here's stupidity mistake #2 from the writers: Wait; why can't he fly without the gyrocompass? The gyrocompass only exists in this episode and he has flown the SeaDuck without any mention of it in this episode and other episodes. So why should it matter if the compass is there or not? Of course; we will be asking more questions later on that Koonce and Weimers didn't consider; so this was a light strike against them compared to later on.) At least, the most contrived part ended quickly and therefore it's only Baloo who doesn't know and makes more sense actually. We head into the stormy skies as the SeaDuck continues to fly into the storm. We go into the cockpit as Baloo blows off the visibility as less than zero in the clouds. He thinks he's lucky with the gyrocompass and then notices that only the wires remain. (Note that Rebecca has not mentioned what the doctor has said that was causing him to die. So in essence, Rebecca's so called misunderstanding is mostly due to her not explaining what was broken. Of course; if she did explain it, then Baloo would have figured out that it was the compass that was broken and Baloo was not dying and this episode ends with Kit getting busted for it. Which would probably be done in a reboot of this series. Of course; that would end the episode too soon. So in essence, it's an idiot plot; which is fine because Baloo usually is an idiot. Althought that doesn't explain the excuse Rebecca would have...)
Baloo wipes the window some more as he ponders turning back; but decides to press on because he's shot so to speak. (Which of course is a stupid thing to consider; but this is Baloo we are taking about.) We get some more shots of the SeaDuck going through the pea soup clouds as Rebecca calls him on the transmission radio and Baloo blows her off because she's not talking him out of it. There is some rumbling going on before Baloo can respond as the plane goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) and out of sight. We cut back to the transmission tower of Higher...For...Hire as Rebecca screams for Baloo with Kit and WildCat watching on (Kind of convenient that he would show up now.) and that ends the segment nearly ten minutes in. (Actually; Kit yells "Baloo!" at the end of this segment.) Not bad all things considered; but the characters are so over that you really have to screw up in other areas to get near a clunker in this series and so far; only one logic break and one contrived area due to BS&P. (Actually; minus two dumb lines (one from Kit, one from Rebecca) and a number of coloring mistakes from Wang Films; this episode has been booked pretty much the way it should be booked without acting infantible; as it feels real and believable even though we know that Baloo isn't "dying" from a heart attack; but could still die from something else. The booking and setup for this is really good. By the way; the scorecard so far: Two references to "kill", three references to "die" (mostly "dying"; but it still counts). Oh, the censor testing from the Koonce/Weimer combo is just warming up.)
After the commercial break; we go over the mountain areas with some fog and storm clouds as a coughing purple plane of doom flies into view and it's flown by WildCat of all people. We head inside the cockpit as Rebecca wants to find where Baloo went down with Kit in the patched up navigator's seat (How fitting?). Kit panics on cue as there is a visual of a mountain on the clock and WildCat blows it off because they should be there before noon. HAHA! (He even shows off his pocket watch for good measure.) Rebecca screams that she is going to die (Death reference number six for the episode.) as we see the indigo plane head right for the mountain side. (Wang Films coloring streak continues as it changes from purple to ash grey in some animated sequences. This was not Wang Films' greatest moment, I assure thee.) Everyone screams (with Rebecca trumping all) as WildCat manage to fly over the mountain without a hyperbole and only touching the tip of the mountain. There's logic break #2 for the episode. (No it wasn't; the plane flew over the mountain and bumped off the top as it should have. Don't worry; the real logic breaks will start in the third act.) Rebecca proclaims that Baloo may be the only one who gets out of this alive. Although the logic might have a better chance over them as well. Speaking of Pop-A-Bear; we see the fog lifting as it is daylight as we see the SeaDuck is stuck to a giant magnet and we see Baloo hanging by his seatbelt literally talking to a hippo wearing all white with a cowboy hat. He talks like Cow from Cow & Chicken so he is clearly voiced by Charlie Adler and is Howard Huge himself. (Obviously a reference to Howard Hughes in the real world; which is kind of sad considering what an enigma Hughes was in real life to be stooped to petty crook status in this show. Even sadder is that Huge is a fine character in itself with a decent personality as a heel and has a backstory; but damn it, he deserves better given the character that the writers were shooting for here. Then again; expecting that from writers who story edit their own stories and have it pounded in their heads that "it's just for kids" is like pulling teeth from a kid. You are just asking for trouble.)
Baloo has no idea who he is and he's warning him not to do any damage to the SeaDuck as we see the hippo with Gorilla Goon and Rhino Goon. I see there is a crook exchange program and Trader Moe got some new goons after Time Waits For No Bear. (No he didn't. Even though they look similar to the gorilla goon and rhino goon in a lazy charater type scheme from Wang Films; Gorilla Goon has different color fur than this gorilla and Rhino Goon is dressed differently from this rhino goon. They aren't same goons Trader Moe has and it shows when neither of them speak since Chuck McCann and Jim Cummings don't voice anyone here. It's kind of odd to witness an episode of this series without Jim Cummings voicing at least one character. Also; these goons are far more lazy and persona non grata than Trader Moe's goons. Ponder that one for a moment. ) Gorilla Goon #2 has the pole shears of doom while Rhino Goon #2 has his machine gun set to profits. (So we have yet another episode where the guns get pulled out. That would be 33 for 40 in terms of the guns being pulled out; which means three out of four episodes had bullet shooting guns. Think about that for a minute and compare 1990 Disney to now. People wonder why TaleSpin may never get a reboot: Well, how do you stay faithful to the series; when the biggest sense of danger has to be netuered due to the changing times and how we accept bullet shooting guns. Which rightfully; we don't anymore.) Howard is wearing a red scarf as he blows off Baloo for trying to be in a position to give orders when he cannot. He decides to show Baloo what is going to happen to the SeaDuck as Baloo shadow punches for fun and gets his seatbelt cut by the Gorilla Goon #2 and Baloo takes a good bump off-screen. We head to the oversized cave as Baloo is forced to walk by the goons as they head inside and Howard shows him his ultimate invention: The Titanium Turkey. The eighth wonder of the world.
In the DTVA world; this show is the eighth wonder of the world. Too bad no one cares to notice; just like in real life. (I think part of the problem is that people loved ducks and bear were heels in their minds. I betcha the advice most kids would give to that show in 1990 would be: "More Ducks, Please!" Nowadays; it's like "Why more ducks? More diverse spieces, please!"; which I would fully accept as a response even in 1990. Sure; I hated the series back then; but the lack of ducks wasn't one of those reason why I hated the show back then.) We see the TT and it looks like a giant building on wings literally as Howard needs one more thing on it which is the Googleschlocker gyrocompass in his plane. How convenient that Baloo thought that he was "dying" for this to happen?! That's the second contriveness of the episode. (Yeah; how did Howard Huge know about Baloo having this compass? How did Huge know about Baloo dying? I'm thinking the original plan was to have Trader Moe in this script either as an advisor to Howard Huge; or as the main character, but Jim Cummings wouldn't be available and so the script was changed to have just Howard in it. Personally; I would have just had Howard explains that the two goons he had were from Trader Moe and therefore they knew about Baloo's SeaDuck. Although the problem with that is; that would mean Double Or Nothing would have to be before this episode, not after. I'm guessing that there was an episode in development (To Test Or Not To Test was the title I believe) that got nixed before it got past the pre-production stage involving this; but the two episodes involving the goons, the SeaDuck was not in evidence in that episode for Trader Moe to see anyway. So this is just another example of David and Ken not thinking through their scripts and tightening them up. Which is common when you are the story editor as well as the writer!)
Anyhow; Baloo no sells because he has none left, so Howard decides to fly without it and use the SeaDuck as a lifeboat. Well; that was pointless, but at least it kills the contriveness. (Even if he did have the compass; Howard would have just taken the SeaDuck as a lifeboat anyway.) Baloo asks what happens to him and Howard decides to merely lock him up for the rest of his life. Ah; the old starvation trick of doom. Howard must love these kind of death traps. (Because we cannot have a threatening death trap like a gas chamber...Oh wait. Oh; I can see why they didn't go there. Okay; starvation is fine. Besides; if anyone tries to escape; there are the two henchmen with guns on retainer just in case. So this is perfectly fine.) Baloo doesn't think it's too bad considering that he hasn't got long to live anyway as he is forced inside by the goons into one of the airplanes and blows Rhino Goon #2 off for being as bad as his doctor when it comes to poking. (I'm not going to change anything here; you already know how dumb 2010 Me was in thinking this way. By the way; this implies that when he was at the doctor's office, Baloo was given a shot in the ass with a needle (probably the polio vaccine since it was in pre-trials in 1935); or he was given a prostate exam which involves shoving your rubber hand up someone's asshole literally. It's not as painful as it sounds; but you wouldn't know since Peter Griffin from Family Guy once sued his doctor accusing him of rape. Yes, rape. During a prostate examination. That goes to show you how low Seth McFarlane would go to pop a rating for FOX at this point.) So Rhino Goon #2 slams the door and we go to pitch black darkness. Baloo then strikes a match. (2:1 odds that this scene gets edited completely in Toon Disney. (It wasn't edited at all. In fact; there were zero changes between syndication and the Toon Disney version. So yes; Toon Disney's editing practices are a joke. Does that surprise you 2010 me? It shouldn't.))
He sees the hen from Plunder and Lightning Act I which is Ameila Airhead (GOD I HATE THAT LAST NAME! (Okay; you don't need to shout 2010 Me! It's an insulting name because Amelia wasn't an airhead in real life.)); the Kitty Hawks kids as the glasses wearing one has the Barney smile of doom; (Hmm; didn't see that. Whistlestop Jackson's is more profound than these two.) Charlies Lamburger (which is slightly less insulting than Airhead. (He is a direct reference to Charles Lindberg and is perfect for this show. Sadly; like most of the aviators who are here, he doesn't speak. I think they were shooting for them to let their actions speak for themselves. Which is nice; but the only way that works is if you do a couple of flashbacks of their exploits. In fact; when paced faster, this would be possible. TaleSpin's slower pace does help in reviewing these shows; but it does force writers to leave things out that would help the show. No one, but adults are going to do research on the references and even adults won't care because they want entertainment, not a history lesson. In fact; modern kids are more likely to want a history lesson then ancient kids in their shows. I realize that this isn't saying much; but there is enough difference to make it worthwhile.) ) who is an old mouse, as they are all famous pilots who disappeared in the Bearmuda Trapezoid. Okay; most of them; but Ameila's makes little sense since she was lost in the Pacific ocean anyway. Did not do the research indeed; but this is the TaleSpin world after all. (Yeah; a major advantage to having the show take place in your own world is that you can change the rules at will. The downside is that if you change too many rules and/or change rules for no reason; you risk contradicting yourself and you further make the audience angry because you are just changing the rule to avoid being criticized even though in a free reality-based world like real life; there is zero way to avoid criticism. It's weither the criticism is constructive or destructive that matters and sadly, a lot of critical reviews of animation are really destructive and give critics a really bad name.)
We see the armadillo flying around like Molly and Kit on speed. It's clear that he's Oscar Wiggerstomper and Baloo has no clue who he is despite having HIS poster of him on the wall earlier. Logic break number three for the episode. (Compared to some of the gaping holes in this episode; this one is merely Baloo being dumb. Besides the whole point in Oscar Wiggerstomper is that he has done nothing of note; so ironically, he has to talk and be like a child because he cannot do anything else. At least there was a funny payoff to this later on.) Oscar addresses himself as such (voiced by S. Scott Bullock) and the flame burns Baloo's hand and the match goes out. We fade to black and at least this one makes sense instead of the glorified sex object Eisner likes. (You think it was bad in TaleSpin? Wait until Quack Pack where I swear on a stack of bibles that the scene changer of doom was on strike at the time. Oh; and no shock here, the scene was not edited out, making Toon Disney look like idiots once again.) We return in the storm clouds with WildCat's plane as the weather has seemed to make the plane go dark purple now. WildCat explains the way planes disappear in the Bearmuda Trapezoid is just like his washing machine. We head to the cockpit with WildCat flying as two socks go in and only one comes back which is funny since he doesn't wear any. Then again; WildCat is nutty; but not as much as the one who is supposed to appear sane; Kit. POW! OUCH! Hey...It's your fault this episode happened, you little scamp! (Yeah. Plus; there is that "former sky pirate" thing that completely makes Wildcat Puma's nuttiness seem normal. Which is just fine, thank you.) Speaking of Kit; he has his notes and states that he has been doing research on the problem. WildCat confuses his work with his missing socks, of course. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: A perfectly honest mistake from WP.) Kit proclaims that they went according to flight regulations and disappeared over ten thousand feet; so if they go below that, they make it.
Rebecca blows him off because it's against regulations see. Ummm; Kit is a former terrorist Miss Cunningham. I think regulations are not going to do you any good. (Geez; why not just fly the damn thing Miss Cunningham? You already did so in Bringing Down Babyface and a few others.) Kit tells WildCat to bring the plane low and the plane takes a nosedive. Rebecca screams that she is going to die (death reference #7 for the episode) and almost gets #8; but the voice is muffled as the plane dives into the sea and she gets sprayed with water from a leaky roof. HAHA! (Okay; that was pretty funny since everyone else got it, too. No; I'm not counting the muffled voice part as death reference #8; even though Cinema 101 would count it. Besides; they got the record and no one has touched it so far, so eh... (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: The Summit Of Mount Neverrest from Ducktales 2017 broke the record outright, so Bearly Alive is merely a pioneer in comparison. It's also a slighty better episode, too.)) Kit calls that a little too low. NO?! REALLY?! More water sprays in the plane as Wildcat calls it refreshing. Kit panics because there is an island ahead, the plane surfs the water and lands on the beach with seaweed attached to it. Umm; yeah. (Apparently; there was a small wooden ramp build underwater during this sequence for some unknown reason.) Everyone gets out and decides to explore the island a bit as Kit opens the SeaDuck to let out the water. HAHA! Hacksaw needs to take some advice from this punk kid. POW! OUCH! Hey... (Wow; someone is without doubt taking his punishment out on someone after this episode ended.) Anyhow; we go deep into the jungle (complete with parrot squeal) as Kit notices someone in the distance and Rebecca thinks it's Baloo. Kit states that it's not as we see the Goons carrying Howard Huge like Prince John on a good day. (Only Prince John is a hundred pounds soaking wet. Howard is clearly bigger than Baloo (and doesn't suck his thumb even though seeing Howard Huge do this would be funny in terms of being paranoid and needing a security blanket similar to Howard Hughes.) so this has to be a real problem for the goon squad.)
Apparently; Howard has been overdoing the ice cream sundaes so you know he's just TOO FAT even by Baloo's lowered standards. Kit wants to follow them and we go to the scene changer as we see a far shot of the oversized cave as the heels march into the cave. Then a closer shot and then a close up of some bushes as Kit, WildCat and Rebecca pop up. Kit's eyesight is awesome since he gasps because the TT is one major airplane. (One Kit fan wrote a fanfic on how Kit actually needed eye laser sugery which the writer conveniently forgot that it didn't exist until the 1980's. So yeah; sometimes the fans don't do the research. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Ironically, the original plan for TaleSpin was to have it in 1990 with a 1930's style instead of 1930's outright. One of the pre-production sketches showed Rebecca (In her dated outfit) showing computer paper to Baloo and Kit as there was a computer on her desk, and the computer looked like it was out of the 1980's. My theory on that is that they had too many present day settings for the Disney Afternoon block (Ducktales 1987 and Rescue Rangers 1989 of course) and wanted something in between the midevil period and the present day, so setting TaleSpin in 1937 made sense here since they were doing a 1930's motif on the series originally, anyway.)) We do a pan shot and notice the SeaDuck in the background with several other airplanes. Rebecca sees this as a good sign that Baloo is alive. However; instead of going, Kit snaps his fingers and realizes who that guy was from earlier. See Howard Huge was laughed out of the airplane business as we get a still shot of Howard Huge looking at a plane. WildCat thinks he's a comedian. HAHA! If only WildCat, if only. Kit addresses him officially as Howard Huge. He's a famous airplane designer but his designs were so weird that they gave him the axe as we see Howard walking away stage left and therefore the scene was animated.
WildCat thinks Howard's a lumberjack now. If only WildCat, if only. (WildCat's retorts are in fact funny in him literally translating everything Kit says. It's cute.) Rebecca deduces that Howard is kidnapping airplanes to use parts to make the TT. Kit agrees with that statement, thinking that he'll become a bigshot again. (As sloppy as this episode was written and booked; at least they gave him a heelish motive in the form of revenge on everyone who laughed at him.) WildCat panics because it's better to be a big shot; then be shot as everyone turns around and there is Ape and Rhino Goon with machine guns on profits in logic break #4 for the episode. Take one guess why. Rebecca knew she is going to die (death reference #8 for real this time) as the machine gun is pointed right at her face and that ends the segment fifteen minutes in. (I removed the "Note From The Future" because I already addressed the Toon Disney thing. Also; as they brought him into the cave, a few moments later, we saw Howard walking normally and the goons were gone. So they basically got behind the babyfaces making Kit look stupid; but it's not a logic break. So back to the scorecard: Two Kill, six Die (seven if Cinema 101 is in effect) for a grand total of eight (nine) references to death. So far, the only major contriveness is that Howard Huges doesn't mention how he knew about Baloo's SeaDuck. However; now the episode is going to go from very good and just fall off a damn cliff. I don't know if it was due to Dean Stefan making it worse, or Ken and David's not caring about what they write and not having a story editor tell them to rethink. But; the next five minutes are a huge low point for the series, even more so than Time Bandit ever was.)
After the commercial break; we go into the cave near the broken down plane as Kit, WildCat and Rebecca are marched into the plane by the machine gun tooting goons as Howard tells them to enjoy their stay into the "hotel." So far; the goons have done more work than Howard Huge; although his plan is so wacky that I cannot help remotely like him. See in twenty years; no one has checked out of it as Kit shows disdain on his kisser as this one is logic break number five for the episode because that is 1917 when he disappeared which is after Great War One. If it were ten years; that would make more sense. (Yeah; this is where not having the writers be story editors is the right thing to do. This is Fridge Logic at it's worst.) The door slams and we get logic break number six for the episode as the lights are on inside when the place was pitch black when we last saw it. (Nope; if you look inside, there are clearly four lit candles in the background. So, it makes sense. I'm guessing Baloo provided the matches and the others provided the candles. Except for Oscar of course, what could he provide other than talking?! So far; as contrived as this episode has been, there have been only three logic breaks and two of those three could have been fixed with a redub.) Still; that is made up with the babyfaces all seeing Baloo and embracing each other. Baloo proclaims that they shouldn't have come because they got their lives ahead of them when he has a few grains of sand left in them. Now, the logical thing here is to have Kit apologize to Baloo for breaking the compass and/or Rebecca telling him that he's not dead. However; we have seven minutes left; so we are forced to jackhammer this death thing to the ground. (Which is in hindsight; not the worst thing that could have happened here.) Rebecca actually tries to tell Baloo that this is a big misunderstanding; but Howard Huge screws that by testing the engines as Kit proclaims that Howard is going to leave soon and Rebecca panics because they are stuck here forever.
Well; at least the forced matter hasn't started, yet. (Okay; someone should have redubbed Kit's lines here because he makes it sounds like Howard Huge has started the engines of the TT; even though as we'll see later on, the TT is still there when they get out. My guess is that Howard simply took the SeaDuck and flew it onto the TT and then tied it up with rope because if you were paying attention 2010 Me; the babyfaces already know that the SeaDuck was not on the TT. It was somewhere next to another plane. So it had to be Howard flying the SeaDuck over to the TT because we see the SeaDuck on the TT later on. This is a logic break; but it was Kit's line that was the logic break, so it's a minor issue where redubbing would have fixed it. Don't worry; KK/DW will do something majorly stupid later on.) Kit proclaims that he won't if Kit has anything to do with it. I guess in this world; Kit doing the work of three guys is apology enough. Kit takes a look around and notices that it's Cabin Cruiser #107. Kit proclaims that he read something about a weird design. Again; Kit is book smart, street smart and somewhat spelling dumb. (His spelling is much better than Baloo, but his basic math skills are beyond the pale bad. As in 7*3= 73, bad! His sarcasm and acting is much better than Baloo's; but R.J. Williams acting is a certified G and a bonfide stud...AND YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT~! Sorry, Edmund Gilbert, it's true.) WildCat confuses the drapes with the seat covers. (WildCat continues to slay me with his translations of Kit's lines. Only this time; they paid it off with Kit saying something useful.) Kit looks at one of the seats and he realizes the secret: The plane was built with a secret emergency exit under one of the seats. (Again; this is where Kit's knowledge of airplanes leads to a payoff to save themselves and isn't used as window dressing. Great!) Kit pushes on the seat as the key to find it as we get this gem sequence of a line:
Rebecca:
Why would anyone hide an emergency exit under a seat?
WildCat:
{Ponders it.} Because it's too hard climbing through
the luggage compartment? {Can you say SCORE?! I knew you
could.}
Rebecca: {Pulls the Gruffi pose out.}
Wildcat; if we make it back home safely, get therapy.
Why Rebecca? (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Besides, you all need therapy a lot more than me and yet I don't think the therapy would take. In Kit's case, the therapist would need therapy at best and probably retire from life at worst.) Then he loses is dimwitted traits and becomes less funny. (What an ableist comment from Rebecca on WildCat?! WildCat's wit is great in this episode and it has been softening the sloppy writing from the "Wuzzles" writers. However; now we're getting to the point where they need to waste time and the only way to do that is drive the point of misunderstanding home.) We see Baloo throwing chairs away as he hopes to find a way out soon because he doesn't have much time left. WildCat asks if his watch is busted and Baloo admits flat out that he is going to die (death reference #9 for the episode.) and WildCat proclaims that everyone else has been saying that lately. Baloo asks who and WildCat proclaims Rebecca has been screaming "I'm going to die! I'm going to die!" (death references #10 and #11 for the episode). Baloo realizes the misunderstanding (religious reference #3 in DUBBED ANIME STYLE ("holy moly")) as he proclaims that Rebecca is a goner too. Oh, for goodness sakes; someone tell Kit to apologize to Baloo right now because this thing is getting jackhammered to the ground. (Personally; I have mellowed out on this. It's annoying that the writers have nothing left; but then again, there is no real subplot to soften the blow. This was the one thing Scrooge's Last Adventure had over this episode: It had a compelling subplot of Internet banking that was different at the time. Of course; it's moot in the modern world, but it's still better than what we got here...) We got time to apologize; why not do it now so we can get this stupidity out of the way and have an actual good finish?! (Because KK/DW believe "It's just for kids" and kids love it when you pound the point to the ground in order to annoy the elders. The funny thing is: The problem is not that they are pounding this to the ground thinking it's funny. It's that they are pounding it to the ground at the expense of everything else and it really shows later on.)
WildCat asks if they are really dying (death reference #12 for the episode) and the answer is no WildCat. They are being contrived and forced as I expected them to be when I last ranted on this episode. We get a far sky shot of the airplane prison as Baloo cuts a snuff promo on a candle and proclaims that he is going to do some right for her as long as she has some wick left. Why are we wasting time with this silliness?! (Because KK/DW think this is funny. It was for a while; and now you're just padding the running time because you don't know how to do a climax properly and you don't let other people story edit your stories to tell you where you went wrong and how to fix it so it's booked right. You wonder why Mark Lungo thinks they are hack writers? Well; story editing your written work is a mighty fine start to explaining it.) WildCat confuses this with dying and running out of wax for death reference #13 for the episode. Seriously folks; we are now in uncut/uncensored anime terrority here. (Just imagine how desperate you have to be to apease the moral guardians to censor those words. You might as well censor all ablest words like they did in Japan if you want to really threaten them with easy shots.) Then we are surprised when purists go nuts?! Kit is angry for some reason as he looks around below the seats. (He's frustrated because he cannot find the seat. It has nothing to do with Baloo's melodramatics.) If Kit is annoyed by Baloo's bad melodrama he can stop it by simply admitting that it was HIS gyrocompass that is dead and take the chances of being dead by Baloo. Which I doubt would happen anyway. (I had the ending of this in my mind: Kit admits he broke the compass and Baloo simply goes under Kit's sweater, grabs the airfoil and breaks it over his knee, giving the pieces to Kit. Baloo then walks off as Kit is confused. I betcha if this episode got remade, this is exactly how the episode would end; and I would have no problems with it. It's short, to the point and Kit will learn said lesson without the need for child abuse.)
We see Rebecca dragging a seat out as Baloo takes the seat from her and plops her down on it because she earned it. Rebecca is not amused as Baloo does some D-Grade melodrama (Not a good idea if Ed Gilbert is treating Baloo like a cartoon voice. (Memo to the late Edmund Gilbert: When you sound like your sarcastic, then you're making Baloo look like an asshole. Just saying.)); but before this can get any worse, Kit finds the hatch where the exit it and Baloo thanks him for it. Okay; this isn't as bad as I thought it was, but it's still contrived and forced. Everyone is helped out of the hatch as Kit wants to go back to the SeaDuck; but Baloo doesn't see hope as long as the goons have their peashooters. Oh, for crying out loud guys; you can say gun on this show. Although with Baloo saying it; it's normal speech with him; so it isn't half bad. (Okay; here's where Ken Koonce and David Weimers really got exposed as hack writers: Baloo mentions the goons and their machine guns. The problem is not that you cannot say "gun" on the show. The problem is: After Kit and company were put in the airplane prison and the door was slammed; we never saw the goons again! They were never seen again, even when we see Howard Huge! So; where the hell were they?! We never know because we never saw them again! Was there a scene planned that showed how the babyfaces stopped the goons that was fully cut out in the final?! Seriously; how could anyone make that easily a mistake?! It's like Ken Koonce and David Weimers wrote their episode for twenty-five minutes and thought it was going to be commercial free! How did anyone miss this?! Oh yeah; I know: these two hacks are story editors as well. Karl Geurs would have noticed this and sent it back with ease. In fact; any story editor with a clue would. NOT THESE TWO HACKS! Oh, no! This is the peak of arrogance for these two and I'm glad that they got jettisoned for the most part in the 1990's. It's writing like this that hurt TaleSpin reputation. It's not self-plagurizing their own work. Heck; it's not even the sexism since many other stories in Ducktales involved Webby being written as if the writers didn't want her there. It's the arrogance of two hack writers who think they are so above it all that no one can tell them that they are wrong. This egotrip kills series more than money and politics. Even worse; before Act III, Ken and David were doing perfectly fine. The episode wasn't all that great or anything; but it didn't make my head hurt. Now we're into the climax and their writing cannot stand under the pressure of the standards this show is supposed to be about. This is something you see in a Z-Grade movie; not in a DTVA show. So there you have it, Mark: Time Bandit is much better than this episode!)
Rebecca tells Baloo to "never say die" (death reference #14 for the episode) and Baloo goes into his melodrama again. Oh, for crying out loud; please let Kit apologize to him already. This whole thing is already jackhammered to the ground and it's time to mercy kill (pardon the pun) this episode. (Only in TaleSpin is where a joke involved the trope "Never Say Die" is cracked and they say this AFTER saying die and kill at least thirteen times in the same episode before this line. That's also not counting the usage of the word before this episode aired. Hindsight 20/20; this was uber funny.) We head to a shot of the TT as the SeaDuck is tied down in front of the airplane as we see Howard Huge walking around with glee. Well; at least he is more over than Baloo is at this point of time. (Probably has a much bigger chance of getting a fatal heart attack than Baloo is at this point; so he's all over that one too.) He's ready to launch the Turkey on it's maiden voyage. We then see the babyfaces hiding behind some rocks near the cave as Kit wonders what he is doing with the SeaDuck. Baloo explains that it is being used as a lifeboat and Kit calls the TT in need of a lifeboat because this plane violates about seventeen laws of aerodynamic theory. Now we have fourteen death references and at least three references to religious, plus one reference to gore; I would say that Kit has more or less translated that this episode breaks at least seventeen laws of Business Standards And Practices (BS&P). (And if you believe Eisner, Kit broke kayfabe in Plunder and Lightning like the original De-Generation X did in WWE.) Nice way for screwing the censors. Too bad this episode isn't written as well to make the thing offensive enough to get under BS&P's skin. (Yeah; this falls under the "dark and edgy for no reason" rule: If you are going to be edgy; you cannot use it as an excuse to hide your bad writing. If you write good; you don't need cheap shots. If the edgy content means something in storyline and is written well; then fine. But good writing is all audiences want. Being different is great and all; but it doesn't replace crappy writing. Of course, Ken and David are hack writers so there you go.)
Baloo proclaims that Howard needs to be stopped and he has a Krackpotkin Plan in mind. We logically see a whole chicken roasting on an open flame as Baloo cuts the KFC promo (third time in the series by the way) as Baloo thinks the smell will send Howard running for his afternoon snack. Rebecca is using a blue sweater to fan the flames as the smell travels around to the TT. Howard flicks some ropes and absolutely no sells the smell. HAHA! In your face you Aussie Stereotype! (Don't you mean, Indian stereotype 2010 Me? Monty isn't even in this show.) Kit realizes that this isn't working as Baloo wants the fan turned up as Kit is now using his hat to fan the flames as Rebecca complains about Howard's nose being stuffed up. (Nope; he doesn't care about chicken. He is actually showing some restraint.) We then see WildCat bring out the chocolate bar and opens it revealing that chocolate smells really big. Which makes zero sense whatsoever since chocolate smells are NOT that overwhelming in real life and yet the smell manages to engulf Howard's nose. He finally sells it. It's a Choco Thriller according to Howard and I ask; did Michael Jackson bend time and reality and make his own candy bar here?! (Okay; I can buy that the Choco Thriller has an overwhelming smell and I can even buy that Michael Jackson is so dead now that he could bend reality to make a candy bar here. Believe it or not; recently I found a Youtube video on Choco Thriller being related to a classic Italian dessert called Chocolate Salami. Here's the link to it.) Baloo grabs the bar from WildCat and places it on the ground blowing off his never fail sauce. (Did Baloo's hand turn black when he placed it on the ground or something? (I didn't see that, it was the probably the paint brush he used to brush the sauce on the chicken. So, no.)) Everyone bails into the background stage right as Howards acts like a chocolate zombie stage left. Well; he just has to get his work in somehow. (Not really; he danced a bit, but it wasn't anything different.)
We then get a shot of Rebecca and Baloo going up the stairs into the TT as Baloo asks about Rebecca's condition and Rebecca blows him off for it because it's perfect. Baloo states that "of course she is" as we jump cut to Baloo at the controls inside the plane. You know; if they just ended the jackhammering nonsense; we could have had better continuity in this sequence instead of these stupid jump cuts. (Yeah; look at the lack of goons at this point and see why these writers suck.) Needless to say; Baloo starts up the engines and they begin to roar as the legendary pilots of their time sit down in the built in cinema area of the plane. We then see the TT fly out of the cave as Howard chases them calling them turkey thieves. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (I got a hand it to Howard; he's really trying to be an effective heel, but the writers won't let him.) We continue flying into the air as WildCat looks out the window and notices the scenery and then the TT stops right on cue as Kit proclaims that they have stopped and Rebecca calls that impossible. Baloo uses the periscope of doom and sees that Howard is using the big ass magnet again. (If we are going to call Kit out for talking about real ladies; we might as well call out Rebecca on talking about how airplanes work. Both of them I take more seriously in knowledge than Baloo.) I'm calling logic break number seven for the episode right there since the magnet should already be in use instead of just starting on that sequence. Wang Films sloppiness is just hurting this episode. (Actually; I blame whomever edited this episode. The sequence should have been before the magnet stopped the TT; not after. How anyone missed this is a mystery to me; but at least it's not the writers fault, nor the animators.) Howard is at the controls calling them out for stealing his turkey. I guess he's having it for supper. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Damn; Howard is so paranoid that he lost his sense of humor.)
Fat chance as the expression states as Howard pulls on the lever (JESUS~!) and it's a fatal attraction. (I did love that Howard pardons himself in saying this; as if he knows that the word fat is offensive to many. That amused me for some reason.) I'm tempted to call that one death reference #15 since fatal does equal death; but since my rulebook states that it has to be dead, kill, die or dying in order to make the death reference work. (Yeah.) Good sub for 4Kids though. (I concur.) We see the big ass magnet at work as we see the TT backing up as Rebecca wants Baloo to do something and he proclaims that he is trying. Baloo keeps pressing on the levers (JESUS~!) but no dice as Kit wonders if they have a magnet to counteract the magnet. So WildCat has a plan on his head as he wants to patch into the electrical system and run a current through the hull which would turn the turkey into a giant ass magnet and surpass the big ass magnet (my words, not his). WildCat's look at 19:54 sounds like a crazy Krackpotkin plan to me. (And one that actually works; only you have to do it backwards...) Baloo calls that a great idea and WildCat's all confused again as Kit bails to grab some wire. (No one can accuse Kit of not trying to make up for this stupid mistake that caused the cascade effect we saw in this episode. Put that in your pot pipe and smoke it...Johnny Ass!) We decide to watch some more footage of the big ass magnet glowing as we see the TT going backwards some more in recycled footage (fine since nothing has changed in the last few moments) as Rebecca proclaims that they aren't going to make it. Baloo calls this a lousy break to have it end like this when there is only a few days left anyhow. Memo to Rebecca: Tell him now, dammit! We then see Kit use the makeshift jumper cables onto the side and he tells Baloo to gun the engine. How funny that Baloo cannot say gun in reference to the goons; but Kit can in any reference?! (And at least with Kit; this makes sense, unlike the goons scene where we never saw the goons ever again.)
Baloo guns the engines and they go backwards even faster as Kit realizes that opposites attract, like poles repel. I think apologzing for killing the gyrocompass is a lot easier at this point, son. (So, Kit does have basic science education for a homeless hobo. Geez; that flight manual is much more useful than the Holy Bible! No wonder the Southern Baptists hate Disney so much.) Kit then tells Baloo to flip the plane backwards and Rebecca tells Baloo to not dare do it. (In the same way Kit Cloudkicker would say if someone dared to tickle his feet. Would you be surprised what the response is going to be?) Baloo apologizes and we are going to do it as Kit goes to the knobs and checks all systems in a long sequence. (Here's another segment that was funny; but wasn't needed: The joke was all right; but it wasn't needed and it only made the writing look worse in hindsight. They could have cut this out and allowed Baloo to land the TT; or even fixed the goon scene. Again; a 25 minute episode compressed to 21 without editing it properly is the theme of this episode. STUPID!) TT goes towards the big ass magnet and then Baloo flips the plane like a flapjack much to the shock and appallment of Howard Huge as Howard dodges some debris and pushes on the lever (JESUS!~!). The TT rocket launches into the sky and out of sight as Howard is forced to duck and blow off losing the turkey he needed for his din-din. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... (Why did Howard need to pull the lever here? It didn't factor into the finish at all; so why bother wasting a few seconds here? It's thing like this that show that you don't let the writers edit their own stories.) He even swears using Winnie The Pooh's last name to boot. Although I'm certain he only said "poo" which is merely crap past the radar.
Then we get a gapping logic break number eight: When Howard complains about leftovers; the SeaDuck is still attached to the magnet when it should STILL be on the TT like it is on the next shot of the TT. This is what happens when Wang Films dogs it so to speak. (I'm guessing someone forgot to tell the editors to use the footage where the SeaDuck was not on the magnet; and the scene they used was supposed to be at the beginning of Act II. Why not? It's not like anyone cares about this episode since A Bad Reflection On You literally blows this episode out of the water, even though it has a similar heel plot.) Everyone yells as we go into space (Seriously this episode has lost all logic and reason now.). Rebecca orders Baloo to straighten out and fly right. Baloo calls it useless because she and Baloo are goners anyway. What about Kit, Pop-A-Bear? He's not dying so to speak as Rebecca finally tells him that he is not dying (death reference #15 for the episode for real. (Final Scorecard: Two Kill, thirteen Die, one Gore. Al Gore! Oh never mind; no one is reading this anyway.)). Baloo hugs her and Rebecca screams at him that if he doesn't get control of the plane they are dead as Baloo's reaction before she tells him to fly the damn plane is priceless. Well; it's nice that this contriveness is over simply because they had at least five plus minutes to do this and they only made it worse. Not as bad as I though it was; but still...(Most of the problems have to do with the editing and compressing 25 minutes into 21 minutes without editing. In fact; by the time I was done transcribing this thing; the whole death angle being driven into the ground sounded like the best thing on the show in comparison to the crappy writing.) We jump cut at a shot of the cliff guns as we pan over to see that the TT has landed (if we didn't get all this nonsense; we could have seen the TT land.
I would have also perferred that Kit apologize to Baloo; but I his work was apology enough for me. (Yeah; Rebecca is more at fault for being dumb enough to not see that "spare parts" does not mean "organs".).) We pan over to the docks and Higher....For...Hire as Rebecca has phoned the Air Police as they have formally arrest Howard Huge and his goons. (This isn't a writer nor editor issue; but the SeaDuck was nowhere to be seen in the final scene. Wang Films is dumb!) The pilots are reunited as Rebecca puts the phone down and Baloo's heart is warmed up as a result. I see Kit is here and maybe it's time for Kit to...Oh never mind; we don't have enough time for one anyway and it's already too late for the episode to be saved. (Well; Baloo having the compass in the first place when it didn't get mentioned anywhere in other episodes before and after this is really silly; so Kit is safe from punishment. Besides; what punishment do you give him? Tickling is the only thing that might work; but no one is going to take that seriously as an effective punishment.) Rebecca and Baloo thank each other for risking each other lives for the other and they feel so special. Rebecca proclaims that Baloo would have made it back and there was no doubt. Sadly; Rebecca forgot to cancel the ad in Flyboy Magazine as we see Oscar Wigglestomper walk into the office and ask for a job. HAHA! Now that ending I can accept and Rebecca needs a second pilot anyway. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Oscar Wigglestomper cameoed in a few scenes later in the series; but as a character, we would never see him again, sadly.) That ends the episode at 21:18. Solid story for the most part; but the sloppiness of Wang Films and several major contriveness barely got this episode above a thumbs down. (Pretty much the same thing; only in different aspects; so the rating remains as is. But my god; this could have been a lot better. I'm not saying A Bad Reflection On You great; but still could have been better if David and Ken were told to clean up their act or get the hell out.) This is why I say that testing BS&P means nothing unless you write a great story behind it. Of course; that attracts the moral guardians though. ** ¾ (55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this episode was very disappointing to me as Seer No Evil is a much better episode. (Still better than Scrooge's Last Adventure in terms of maturity and focus on the main plot though.) There were too many logic breaks and various Wang Film mistakes made in the last half of the episode. (Most of the logic breaks are not logic breaks and only two or three of them are major ones that exposed the writers.) The first half of the episode was actually quite okay despite a small BS&P decision that made Rebecca look more stupid than it should have. However; the second half focused on Baloo's melodrama with dying that it was completely contrived and forced. It would have been better served to stop the nonsense the moment Kit found the escape hatch and have Kit apologize for smashing the gyro-compass so Kit can at least be held to account for the finish. The actual finish was fine in spite of the obvious CDS into space part and the ending was great; (Wow; I forgot about the fact that the TT launched into space which makes no sense at all.) but most of the third act was quite hellish and it almost got this show it's first thumbs down. This is a bad sign for Ken Koonce and David Weimers who basically took the plot from Scrooge's Last Adventure and it was made worse by faulty animation by Wang as mentioned. (Actually; Bearly Alive aired first, so Scrooge's Last Adventure was the knockoff. The knockoff was only slightly worse than this episode and that's because of the infantibility of the nephews and Scrooge in that one.) On the other hand; fifteen death references (Sixteen if you think fatal equals death. I don't though.); several religious references, one body fluid reference and one gore reference does make for an interesting lesson in how far you could go in 1990. I just wish that they focused more on the third act of the episode instead of letting it die (pardon the pun) like that. So, next week is the final three episodes of disc two: Her Chance to Dream (Oh boy! More problems! (Only if you are an MG who thinks ghosts are the work of Satan.)), All's Whale That Ends Whale (More nightmares for certain people. (Mostly for Jade's work and Seymour sucking as a heel. By the way; that episode is next on the transcription list.)) and The Golden Sprocket of Friendship (Which shows off just how stupid Toon Disney was in editing at the time.). Two of the three are awesome (Her Chance is powerful by the way.) and All's Whale might have been fun if a certain additional services company didn't exist. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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