Balooest of Bluebloods

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The Balooest of The Bluebloods Re-Rant

Reviewed: 10/24/2010
Additional Commentary: 10/07/2021

The Most Ironic Death In DTVA History!

Original Airdate: 10/15/1990 (Syndication), Episode #27 (TaleSpin Volume 1 DVD, Disc 3), Episode #25 (Production Order).

The Balooest Of The Bluebloods Notes
The Balooest Of The Bluebloods Transcript

(2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Wow, what a difference a few days make?! I went from just updating this episode to finding evidence of someone selling Libby Hinson's binders for Mommy For A Day, this episode and The Old Man & The SeaDuck. Mommy For A Day has quite a few differences between the beats outline and the finished product. Old Man & The SeaDuck's is mostly the same, save for one Kit line that was changed in the final. This episode had a ton of stuff that didn't make it, including a scene early on that didn't make the final product despite clearly being in the actual script. I'll explain these changes as we go on, but the first notable change is the title. In the beats outline; the title was called The Balooer Of The Bluebloods. On the first revision of the script (January 2nd, 1990; originally written December 18th, 1989); there is a message in all caps that reads "Missed The Whole Point! Losta Business, Often Awkward, No Plot or Emotions!". I believe Jymn Magon wrote all that, too. This one seems to require a lot of papering. The reason behind this is that the original plot for this episode was that instead of Rebecca having to save Baloo's hide as it was, it was basically Baloo saving Rebecca's hide and Rebecca gives Baloo the respect that he deserves. Which has been done countless times in this series already! So, yeah; BS&P stepped in and changed the episode to what we have now.) We finally end Volume One of the DVD edition of TaleSpin with a murder mystery of sorts as Baloo is a Baron and we even have a final name for Poppa Bear. As least we think he has one. I found this episode to be really intriguing even if the animation didn't stick some of the time.

(2015 Gregory Weagle Says: Here's the plot of this episode: Baloo is once again defiant in doing his job properly in delivering cargo, to the point where Rebecca refuses to respect him. However; a lawyer and a butler come in to inform them that Baloo Bear is really Baron Von Bruinwald XIII and the bluest of bluebloods; thus is five hundred million dollars richer. He quits his job to go to the castle to live out a life of luxery. The problem is that the Von Bruinwalds have a family curse involving the barons getting murdered legit. Baloo is so scared of this that he needs to beg for Rebecca to come in to protect him like the whiny little manchild that he is. However; it seems that the curse was a case of "The butler and the maid did it!". Yeah; and it also contained the most ironic death in DTVA history.) Let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode is written by Libby Hinson. The story is edited by Karl Geurs. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation (Japan) Inc. and additional services done by Hanho Heung-Up Company Limited.

We begin this one with the sky shot of Higher...For...Hire and we start with a slow sequence of the SeaDuck having it's engines started. We then cut to the office door of Higher For Hire as Rebecca flings the door open and walks out as she wants to know where Baloo is sneaking off to. See; she has cargo to deliver and she's in a jam and needs help. (Funny how Rebecca actually doesn't act like a boss; and acts more like a friend? Why is it that I figure this out and almost no one does?) We then cut to the pilot's side opening and Baloo's arm tells her that he has to help Louie's, you see. Now that is a unique version of the "talk to the hand" bit as Baloo shows Rebecca some bongoes because he's playing in the "Aloha Band". (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: In the beats outline, Baloo wasn't playing bongoes for the Aloha Band. Originally, Baloo was going to throw out the first pitch of a baseball game on Louie's "Aloha Night". So, my guess is that originally Louie L'Amour was going to be the owner of a baseball team; and that it might be those Cape Suzette Sox's team that they were hyper-referencing in the series itself. I guess Disney didn't want to be accused of selling WGN and the Chicago Cubs to kids. Maybe I'm reading too much into that, but still.) I wonder if the Simpsons stole that bit too for their band. Nah! Matt would NEVER steal his material since the Simpsons are SO original. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! (Yeah; as if Matt has never got his inspiration for Daredevil Bart from Stormy Weather. Because history is written by the winners, you see.) Rebecca blows him off for helping Louie and not her. Baloo proclaims that Louie asks nicely see. See; Rebecca gives him no respect and Rebecca gleefully answers that one for me since Baloo is always partying and always broke. HA! That's telling them Miss Cunningham. (Yeah; if Baloo loves Louie's so much, why doesn't he just get a job at Louie's since Louie gives him perks because they are friends. So what if the moral guardians think this is a bad idea? Disney's already against traditional families (whatever the hell that means); so why not?)

See, Baloo will never amount to anything (She has forgotten Plunder and Lightning already, eh?). (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: According to Libby Hinson, Rebecca calls Baloo a lowlife, irresponsible pile of lunchmeat who would never stick his neck out for anybody. Despite clearly wanting to stick his head out for Louie. Irony much there, R.C.?! If you read the binders, Rebecca Cunningham is often named R.C.) We see Baloo come out the side door and OH MY GOD~! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about projection there Pop-A-Bear. You dress like the Citquia Banana lady and you expect to get respect for THAT?! Also, Baloo even inflated the breasts for the occasion, too. (What's wrong with a man dressing up like a woman 2010 me? Granted; dressing up like a stereotype isn't respect, but you sound like dressing like a woman is bad. So what is Feminine Air's excuse with Baloo as Tan Margant then?) Then we get some weak coughing and then cut over to a crane wearing a brown trenchcoat a brown vest, a white sweater that seems to cover the entire body -- since one of the buttons is right in the white area -- a green bowtie and a hat glaring over Baloo. Oooooooooo... That leads to this gem:

Baloo: What's with you buddy? Never seen a pair of bongoes before?!

Ooooooooooo. We have a pervert and crap past the radar so to speak. (Yeah; because Baloo has the inflated breasts (which are two coconuts by the way) and bongoes is slang for breasts.) The man gives Rebecca his card and Rebecca reads that he is Austin Featheridge of the law firm Featheridge, Featheridge and Nowinsky. Wonder if the second one is Dustin? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Wonder if the third one is Christopher and that lawyer specializes in cases related to brain injuries? I would have thought 2010 me would have got it since Christopher Nowinsky had a career ending concussion long before this rant was even written and was an activist for brain injuries before Chris Benoit's double murder/suicide in 2007.) Austin then checks Baloo's teeth and stuffs his head into Baloo's mouth. (Well; someone is being through; but it's being so if he was a doctor.) Austin (voiced by Ed Gilbert) states that he's here to look for a certain gentlemen and Rebecca gleefully blows that one off complete with Gruffi pose. HAHA! Baloo is not amused by that as Austin claims that he thinks not. (Rebecca wasn't saying that Baloo isn't a man; she was saying that he came to the wrong place because Baloo is far from being a gentleman.) He snaps his fingers and walks over stage right as Rebecca and Baloo follow him. We get a shot of Austin with a badger furry in Duckworth's butler gear carrying a black cloth covered something. This actually becomes symbolic later on if you can believe it. (At the finish no less.) The badger proclaims that he does strike something similar and Austin addresses the badger as Hans when he states that the search is over. Hans The Butler is voiced by the late Stanley Jones whom passed away in 1998. (He has a huge gap between 1964 to 1977 in terms of credits. I wonder what happened to him in between these roles? Hmmm...there was the Vietnam War that ended in 1975 and started in 1955. We have a mystery on our hands, Neneko.)

The GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE walk over as Austin proclaims that Rebecca is in the presence of royalty; the bluest of bluebloods. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: In the outline, Rebecca is considered pond scum! Yikes!) He is the long lost 13^th Baron of Bruinweld as he uncovers the statue of Baloo's head with olive leaves (Talk about your olive branches there, sir.) behind his ears on a wooden stand. Man; how symbolic can you get?! Austin points out that it's Baloo and that Baloo Bear is really Baloo Von Bruinweld the XIII. How lucky/unlucky can you get, Pop-A-Bear?! (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Yup; Baloo Von Bruinwald the XIII is canon in TaleSpin now, and it officially canon in Ducktales 2017, minus "The XIII" part.) Baloo asks how wealthy he is and Austin proclaims that he can buy back the SeaDuck a thousand times over. Since the plane originally cost one hundred thousand dollars to rebuild; Baloo has a hundred million dollars to work with. Baloo's eyes simply glaze over with the A-1 effect of doom and he gabbles. (Libby Hinson really screwed this one up. At the end of the episode; we discover that the estate is worth $500 million dollars which is five times the amount Austin was mentioning. Unless of course; the estate is worth $400 million dollars and Baloo has $100 million dollars in liquid cash. That would make sense; but it was never mentioned in that manner. We assumed Baloo was worth $100 million dollars. Anyhow; A-1 Productions was notorious in those eye effects like in several episodes of Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers that I reviewed years ago. It leads me to believe that when it comes to overseas animation, we shouldn't just rely on what Disney prints in the ending credits since it's obvious that many more people work on this show and we don't know about it because no one actually wrote the back history on it. What you have seen on my Livejournal and on this website and others is bits and pieces of information.)

Hans comes over, shows him the BRUINWELD GEAR OF DOOM and Baloo undresses off-screen giving everything to Rebecca as we find out the fake breasts were made from actual coconuts! Rebecca tosses everything aside as she tries to protest; but the FRUIT SALAD HAT OF DOOM isn't helping her. Hans and Baloo walk to the black limo talking about making a dozen more suits as Baloo looks like a classy tool in that outfit. Baloo is confused over this "home" as Hans tells him that he is heading to his castle. Rebecca is SHOCKED to hear that one as Hans proclaims that there are six hundred fifty rooms in it too. Baloo is pushed into the limo as Baloo pops inside the back door and sees mini pies, cupcakes, and cookie heaven which I will probably never see until Christmas at least. There is also a milk bottle on ice with a trash bucket. Huh?! I guess BS&P is on their asses about the alcohol thing; but that still doesn't explain the trash can. (It's odd that there's an empty milk bottle in a metal bowl containing water. I wonder if this was an animation mistake of sorts. I find it amusing that BS&P was upset at alcohol at this point, considering that we have seen alcohol bottles and such in other episodes; including this episode later on.) Baloo sits inside and eats in rapid fire until all the sweets are gone and then we hear a knocking on the door as Baloo opens the power windows to show Rebecca in her Gruffi pose. Power windows were available in cars in 1940; so the actual logic is only off by some three years total. I'll accept this one as Baloo asks about amounting to anything to Rebecca as he laughs it up and does a weak upper class accent to call Hans to take him home. The limo leaves with Hans driving, of course. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: In the beats outline, the castle has five hundred rooms and the limo was originally a hearse. So, there were supposed to be even more references to death in this episode and it was toned down slightly.) Austin watches on as Rebecca protests this outrage and somehow climbs onto the step part of the limo. We cut to inside the limo backseat as Baloo hears some ringing and finds the conveniently placed antique phone as he answers it and Hans tells him that Barons have no real jobs and will not have to work another day for as long as he lives.

We then see Hans driving and talking on the phone at the same time. Ooooooooooo.. Hans is talking on his antique cell phone while driving. SOMEONE CALL THE COPS~! That won't be allowed on the new Disney. (I give 1:1 odds that it would happen and we'll all complain about it of course. Of course, Baloo answering the phone in the limo wasn't the problem; it was Hans using the phone while driving. Heck of a way to make sure he's a heel there, Libby.) Baloo blows her off as he is gone, solid gone and she must hire some other chimp; which Hans gleefully corrects for him. HAHA! (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Libby's outline proclaims that Rebecca's is making Baloo "do scutwork for slave wages." If you thought Libby Hinson couldn't make Rebecca look like an evil boss, Libby managed to do just that with this outline. Problem is, every other writer was making Rebecca difficult as well, with little variation. This explains how the dynmanics of this story changed from pre-production to post-production.) We then see the limo speed away as Rebecca jumps off and protests some more and she eats the limo's dust of course as Baloo tells her to stick the cargo in her ears. So, she's delivering hearing aids, I see. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Now THAT's a witty rejected Rhinokey joke there 2010 Me.) We go to the first scene changer (at four minutes in!) to a shot of the castle and some creepy organ music. We zoom out as the castle is on the side of the cliff which has lots of trees and grass statues. There is a long forking road as we see a metal sign on the bottom far left of the screen. The limo drives in and then we go to the front window shot as Hans is on his antique cell phone again while driving. He tells Baloo that it's the castle despite Baloo putting his hands on the window and not answering the phone for logic break number one for the episode. (Yeah; that was a pointless gesture there; if Baloo can hear what Hans is saying at the front seat.)

Baloo is so giddy that he mangles his French by calling it a hat. HAHA! Hans gleefully corrects him on that one as they go through the golden gate and through the front driveway filled with bush mazes and statues. Then they park in front of the chateau next to the fountain which is actually animating water in the background. So we head into the big ass dining roomm and it looks like he is literally inside a castle. We zoom in and there are thunderclaps in the background which Disney Captions gleefully mistimes of course as Baloo is sitting on the end of the table with Hans standing to his right. Baloo is rubbing his paws because he can eat a horse and Hans takes it literally as a way to put it on the menu tomorrow. Wonder if it will be the horse's ass Baloo eats; while the head is placed next to him in the bed? AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Considering who Hans and his maid are and how they turn out; that would be a very symbolic punchline to the whole episode.) Hans weakly slaps his hands and calls for Helga and we hear some clock chimes with Baloo looking at the clock, helpfully pointed out in the shot. (Hilariously; it's chiming at 7:20 pm. Logic break or sign of a cursed mansion? You be the judge here, folks.)) and then we cut to the door entrance as a schew furry with black hair and she apparently stole Mrs. Beakly's wardrobe (Sort of. Her dress is in colors of someone who is into death so much that she wants to murder someone.) as she runs in (complete with wooden leg on her right) with a tray and a silver platter under silver cover. She is Helga and appears to look like the EVIL Mrs. Beakly. Which is fitting since the voice of Mrs. Beakly is providing the voice in her German accent and it sounds better than Gerber's normal wooden acting; although Ginny McSwain is voice director, so it might be because Ginny is that damn good. (I have learned that Gerber's wooden acting is an intentional quirk on her part. Here; she has a stereotypical German accent and even says words in German; although there were several words that don't translate from German to English later on.)

Helga is voiced by the late Joan Gerber whom passed away in 2011. Baloo has his knife and fork ready as she puts the platter in front of the baron and it's a von Bruinwald family favorite. Baloo opens the cover and it's a dead hog on veggies. At least in theory as Baloo sniffs it and the warthog wakes up. UH OH! (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: According to the beats outline, Jymn Magon's standard and practice was to eliminate dead animals with objects in their mouth like an apple in a pig's mouth for instance. Ironically, alive anthros with objects in their mouths is perfectly fine.) Baloo is room feed now. (Here's a clue: If the head of the warthog is not missing from the rest of the body; that beast is not dead.) We get some fighting off-screen and squealing from the warthog as Hans and Helga just stand there doing nothing. Well; Helga is acting evil; so that counts for something at least. We then cut to Baloo standing on the platter and cover as Baloo admits that he is not as hungry as he thought he was. Remember that warthog for later because it's important for the punchline. Although I think this partly explains Helga's wooden leg in a non-verbal sense. Hegla apologizes for that since the other barons like their meat rare (In Helga's word: rare means never cooked and the warthog is Helga's killer pet. Now THAT's evil!) complete with the evil smile and thunderclaps. See; this is why the Nazi Book Stealer from When Books Could Kill was so lame; because Helga is much more evil than she EVER could. Helga is out for blood judging by that smile; NBS just wanted Kick to go away. (Geez; took you long enough to Godwin the rant there 2010 me! It's amazing that they never explained it, and yet even 2010 me figured out what happened to Helga's leg. Cinema 101 is awesome and more people should use it.) Baloo sits down again asking for regular food like cheeseburger and French fries (just to piss off the Freedom Fries idiots again. (Good!))

The warthog lifts the cover which Baloo promptly pushes down as Baloo asks for some cookies; or cake; or triple malt with extra fudge. Don't malts usually contain alcohol? (If you are talking about drinks, yes. If you are talking malt extract with ice cream, no.) Anyhow; Hans and Helga understand and Helga runs off stage left. Helga returns with a much smaller platter with a pink cover made from those German Beer Mugs I saw on How It's Made. (It looks like a glass pink easter egg.) Baloo is giddy as Helga slides away the platter with warthog still inside of it and it crashes off-screen and I sense Helga will have two wooden legs before this episode is over. (Wow; there's some animal cruelty for ya, which fits Helga's psychopathic traits to a T.) Helga opens the cover to reveal a chocolate bear. (Remember this for later because Libby Hinson actually makes another mistake here.) Baloo likes this; but Helga gets evil and cuts the chocolate bear's head right off it's shoulders! Geez; how symbolic can you get?! (This is still less creepy than Blood Freak where the finish involved showing stock footage of a turkey getting his head literally cut off. They couldn't just have the axe come close to the turkey monster's head; go to black and then return with the paper-mache head on the table with the bowl of turkey pieces?! Considering the amount of blood in that movie?!) Even Baloo gulps on that one so Hans invokes the matches and he flambes the chocolate bear. Well; there is such a thing as chocolate liquor called creme de cacao (chocolate flavored alcohol) which can contain up to 25% alcohol. Although chocolate alcohol contains zero alcohol to begin with. So it is possible and knowing Helga; he probably used that. (I didn't realize this until I did the transcript for this episode that Toon Disney did in fact edit Hans striking a match before lighting the chocolate bear on fire. They even removed two of Hans' lines in order to move a line of dialogue to Hans lighting the chocolate bear. So lighting a chocolate bear on fire (with the lit match shown clear as day.) and cutting the head off the chocolate bear is A-okay; but merely striking a match and the moral guardians scream bloody murder. This is what happens when moral guardians cry wolf without thinking about the consequences of their actions; and then expect us to accept the consequences of ours! IDIOTS!)

Baloo then goes over to the tray to the conveniently placed squirt bottle of water -- logic break number two of the episode since it appeared out of nowhere -- and squirts water out of it to put the flames out. Baloo is chattering teeth scared (Sam Horta is on sound effects again. (Nope; it was the MPSE sound effects team; which is odd considering that the effect is clearly Hanna Barbera-equse.)). Hans and Helga help him up while Baloo proclaims that he lost his appetite. Wow; I'm SHOCKED Rebecca didn't think of this first. AHHAHAHAHAHA! SLAP! OUCH! Ummmmm... (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Okay, here is a scene that was approved for the final, but was snipped for time reasons: After the first dinner scene, Baloo and Hans literally play corquet in a game room that is so huge that it's straight out of Versailles and the corquet layout is similar to King Louie the XIV's golf course, only it's like mini golf. It would have been more symbolic if Baloo was the fourteenth baron instead of the thirteenth baron; but that's a minor issue. Hans sucks at corquet by the way. Baloo isn't so thrilled as he's kicking Hans' ass in this sport. This leads to a suit of armor swinging a battle axe, slicing a rope and bringing down a chandelier that misses Baloo by inches. Hans rushes to his aid and the punchline is this:

Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: (Glups.) You guys really know how to put the "croak" in "croquet"!
Hans: (Leering as thunderclaps ensue.) _We_ like to think so, sir.

That ends the scene and we go to the private bath from there. While I have little evidence for this, it would match up with the implied demise of the eighth baron as I mentioned later on.)

We head to the Bruinweld's private bath which looks like an Olympic sized swimming pool with fountains on the sides and bubbles on top with a toy sail boat the size of Baloo. HA! Baloo is on said boat relaxing wearing a Captains outfit he stole from Captain Foghorn! The dollar sign on the hat gives it away. It's fitting since both are LOOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEEERRRRSSSSS! (Poor Captain Foghorn! I shouldn't bully him because he was a hilarious character on Ducktales. He was only in two episodes; but he gave me more cannon fodder material than anyone else on that show.) Baloo then remembers the SeaDuck as his ass is on a pink pillow and he goes to his conveniently placed phone on the boat and dials it. (Geez; that's the ultimate cell phone right there.) That logically leads to the front door of Higher....For.....Hire as we head into the office with Rebecca at her desk and she foolishly picks up the phone and Baloo does his weak upper class accent which appears to be designed to piss Rebecca off. Rebecca asks what the hell does he want now as we head back to the Olympic sized ass tub with bubbles gushing from the side as Baloo wants to discuss buying back the SeaDuck over dinner at his place as we see a shark's fin floating from the pink bubbles. The shark circles the boat as Baloo doesn't suspect a thing. Rebecca calls this one no sale as Baloo proclaims that they are having peasant under glass and Rebecca gleefully corrects him on that one. (No wonder Rebecca doesn't want to sell the SeaDuck; Baloo called her a peasant like a sexist moron. More to the point: Considering what happened in Save The Tiger!; why would Rebecca want to sell the SeaDuck back to Baloo? Sure; she does have this problem with finding another pilot (there's always Airplane Jane of course) because in Feminine Air, the male pilots are usually sexist douchebags; and Kit still five years away from getting his pilot's license. Also; Baloo is a jackass because he believes that Rebecca gives him no respect at all; so why would Rebecca respect him now? Baloo never earned the estate; he simply got it because of nepotism. That makes Rebecca the babyface in this whole thing. Again; when the manglasses come off; Rebecca is in a whole different light. No wonder people like Brendala respect Miss Cunningham and think Baloo is a scumbag.)

The shark's fin circles around Baloo as Rebecca slams Baloo's offer, tells him to take his invitation and shove it up his... Well; we don't know if Rebecca was going to use the forbidden word ass or not because the shark's fin dives underneath and goes up (showing a real shark) pushing the boat out of the water with it's mouth. Baloo starts to do the lame screaming he's best known for as Rebecca is startled. Baloo cuts the phone dead as he's in the mouth of the shark... A REAL SHARK!! No blood here, like they would show that; (Dried up bloodstains is okay, wet blood (even if it's a trickle), bad! Nowadays; nosebleeds are fine in the modern world of cartooning.)) but torn clothes is perfectly fine as the shark's mouth closes on poor Pop-A-Bear. A shark in a pool?! Libby Hinson is in INSANE MODE again as Baloo screams for Hans. The butler or the CAPTAIN'S ARM OF DOOM (from Spongebob SquarePants)?! (The episode in question is "The Suds" where Spongebob gets a head cold and Patrick does his best to prevent Spongebob from seeing the doctor. This was the episode where I finally mellowed out on Sandy Sweetcheeks and was on her side throughout that episode. It ends with Spongebob destorying the Krusty Krab and getting cured by Hans; who is literally a human arm. Patrick also gets his for his impersonation of a doctor. One of the best episodes of that show I have ever seen.) Baloo gets out of the JAWS OF HALF LIFE (Because when you are in the jaws; your lifespan is cut in half. Not a videogame reference, no siree! Pay no attention to the sadist behind the curtain. Me? Helga? Who cares?!) and plops back onto the boat. Baloo starts propelling his legs with the boat complete with Hanna Barbera running sound and looping effect. However; the shark cuts Baloo of at the pass. Baloo then feeds the shark with his rubber ducky. I smell a lawsuit from Ernie (from Sesame Street) for curelty to rubber duckies. I'm also sure that he would win such a suit too. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: I have seen far dumber lawsuits than that, 2010 Me.)

Baloo starts propelling his boat backwards away from the shark as the shark is in hot pursuit. The animation is actually really good here -- as per with Walt Disney-Japan -- as Baloo turns a 180 and manages to dodge the shark. The shark skips across the pool water and attempts to take a leap at Baloo. However; Baloo hits the edge of the pool and flips over onto the floor as the shark misses Baloo by a few feet. Baloo lands in a wussy off-screen bump; wet and torn. Hans appears with the red robe and fez cap of course. Baloo screams that there's a shark in the pool. Hans states that this is impossible because there was none sighted since the second baron as he looks at the torn Captain's suit and gives a tsking sound. Baloo doesn't like that at all complete with weird eyes of doom as Hans finally confesses that the Castle Von Bruinwald has a family curse complete with the EVIL ADAM COPELAND TEETH OF DOOM!! Thunder and lightning ensues as Baloo's eyes are in stun silence. Man; Hans' wicked smile is just sick. (And apparently missed in all this is that the power goes out because the next scene is pitch darkness without the lit candle Hans uses.) We go to the hallway with Hans with a candle and mature lighting and Baloo are walking down looking at pictures of previous barons (which look like Baloo.) See; the twelve barons of Bruinweld expired (Read: died) under mysterious events. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: According to Libby's notes, the pictures on the wall would called the "Death Row"! Also, due to dynmanics of the episode changing from the first outline to the finished product: Baloo shows Rebecca the "Death Row" on a tour, rather than Hans. There's more to that conceit than that in a vacuum, which I'll explain later on because it has to do with who Rebecca brings with her on the trip.) Hans says "Oh Dear" as he puts the candle light at the picture of the fourth baron (with black hair and something pink in his right hand) as Baloo looks stunned. See; the fourth baron expired when the electric eel soup fried him.

Okay; Hans didn't exactly say that; but the mind can clearly see that he died. It was SHOCKING! Hans goes over to the sixth baron, who happens to love piano playing and looks like a bigger tool than Baloo is. Hans explains that during an evening stroll along the parapet; he slips on a pad of butter and falls twenty feet to his death. (Geez; I wonder who was responsible for the butter? HELGA?!) Thunder and lightning sound and light effect ensue as Baloo thinks the curse is stupid despite being scared stiff. Heh. Baloo wants to go into the kitchen and Hans decides to agree to it. Baloo and Hans leave the scene as we see a picture of a baron in World War I Germany clothing is seen with his eyes moving, and the creepiness MUST CONTINUE ON! (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: 2:1 odds it's Helga being Helga.) We head down the spiral staircase which apparently looks completely recycled from Hotel Strangeduck. Or not since I have SEEN the episode Hotel Strangeduck and it looks nothing like this one. (Yeap; it's not recycled at all. There is also a cross window on the left side.) Hans tells Baloo to watch his step as Baloo is about seven feet away from Hans (irony?!) as he is walking slowly and thus retains CONTINUITY from the previous scene. However; fear gets instilled into Poppa Bear as a sickle-like device swings OUT OF NOWHERE and Baloo turns around and walks another step up. The sickle swings again; missing Baloo by inches. Now that's a close shave as Baloo is screaming complete with Hanna Barbara teeth chattering sound effects. Hans explains that the seventh baron got sliced into pieces onto that very spot. Hans continues to go down the stairs with Baloo getting too close behind Hans for my liking. They both walk into the basement kitchen which isn't all that fancy to be honest. Baloo then discovers the cupcakes sitting on a tray on the counter to my right. (Just a note that I missed earlier: When the cupcakes were shown in the limo, they had chocolate icing, while all shots afterwards have pink icing.) Baloo goes to them and starts stuffing his face.

Hans goes into OH DEAR mode as he realizes that the ninth baron died by choking on a Bavarian cupcake. Well; that's not a curse; that's poor eating habits. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: It's heavily implied that Helga poisoned him with something like arsenic. Not even 1990's Disney was going to let Jymn get away with that.) Baloo almost chokes himself, talks with his mouth full and turns around to vomit the contents out (off-screen, of course.). Baloo gets off religious reference #1 for the episode while spitting about not caring for the devil's food anyway. (In the same context of the devil's stairs in Kick Buttowski.) Hans is at the door as he asks if there will be anything else and Baloo proclaims that there isn't since he's raiding the icebox. Hans closes the door slowly and tells him to have a safe journey. Baloo then grabs a cooked turkey from the icebox and then we see the GILLOUTINE OF DEATH slice down from the top of the icebox with a thud and Baloo screams as it's a killer snack (death reference #1 for the episode). Baloo bails and almost falls down the trapdoor. Wow. Baloo backs up and comes within a foot of being cleaved by the kitchen cleaver and then knives fly all over the place as the oven door opens up by itself and we get the flamethrower spot on the ass spot as Baloo screams badly. Baloo hides in the chandelier of kitchen stuff and then bails some more stage right as wine bottle pop their corks and a toaster upends and fires knives (!!). Take one guess who set this trap up. Hint: It's the one with the wooden leg. Baloo dances around as knives, spoons, food, egg beaters, pots and pans fly around the screen. Baloo gaggles like a baby and that actually ends the segment right there ten minutes in. (Baloo was literally inventing Peter Griffin before our very eyes; but Baloo kept his humanity while Peter forsaked it.) This has been fun so far. (It has been a spotfest which is usually not this show's forte; but it was handled well enough.)

After the commercial break; we get more chaos and attempted death by flying objects as the scene suddenly gets darker and darker by the moment. Baloo misses getting stabbed in the head by three inches by three knives and Baloo finally runs stage left and screams badly again. Baloo runs up the spiral staircase while avoiding the trapdoor and three spears flying and we jump cut to inside Baloo's room. Baloo runs in, slams the door and locks it about five times and whimpers with his back against the door. Baloo then continues to whimper over to off-screen right and throws chairs and dressers against the door and pushes a coat dresser against the stuff. Yeap; total overkill as usual. Baloo grabs his pilot hat and runs under the bed to hide. He takes the telephone -- good bump by the phone by the way -- and dials it. The place: Higher...For...Hire. I knew Baloo couldn't last one night without screwing it up as Rebecca answers the phone. I cannot wait for Rebecca to pounce on Poppa Bear and she doesn't disappoint as Rebecca is mocking Baloo to no end. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: In the original outline, Rebecca is the one pleading for Baloo to come back, and it happens much earlier in the episode than when Baloo pleads for help here. Also, it's heavily implied that this happened two weeks after Baloo became Baron. There was literally one day difference in the final script.) Baloo pleads for Rebecca to help him. Rebecca doesn't want to since he walked out of his job and didn't take Kit THE MIRACLE WORKER with him. Or maybe not. (Speaking of Kit Cloudkicker: On the TaleSpin High Flight Comment Board (which has disappeared down the memory hole.) Ted Heinz claimed that Rebecca said that she was glad they didn't take Kit and Molly with them; even though in the transcript I did, Kit and Molly were never mentioned. Actually; my Interesting Thought on this is pretty much the reason for Kit not being there. And the fact that R.J. Williams simply cannot be in every episode where he would be useful, due to his age.)

Baloo whimpers that someone is trying to kill him and he's cursed. Rebecca no-sells by yawning. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: I have really bad news for Kit fans and Ted Heinz in particular: Kit was supposed to be in the episode at the beginning: He's impressed by all this, but he must go to school at once, he leaves, we never see him again. There was also references to him going to a private school as well. In the outline: The story is that Kit was at Bear Scouts at the time, to handwave his lack of presence. One written conceit (I don't know if it was Jymn Magon or Karl Geurs) was that Kit was at the Country Bear Jambroee. There have been headcanons about TaleSpin and the Country Bear Jambroee before, so it made sense. Although, some of you are going to "LOVE" who Hinson originally picked to go with Rebecca in the outline and how they arrived at the castle. It's scandalous to say the least.) I'm so loving this as Baloo hears a knock on the door and he screams to Rebecca to come to the chateau. Bring anyone she can find to boot as the phone goes dead for the second time. Wow; Ed Gilbert's acting is a LOT better here by the way. Rebecca tries to call back; but there's no answer. Lightning ensues back at the castle -- helpfully shown with the far shot of the castle -- as Baloo hides under the bed shaking his ass off. The knocking of the door resumes as the door knob twists, turns the key out of the keyhole and onto the floor.The door is then being forced open by the crowbar. Baloo jumps onto the bed and grabs a post of the bed and tears it off. Why haven't I seen this strength when Baloo's not a scared little puppy? It doesn't really work because the entire bed roof (which is green in color; irony!!) collapses onto Baloo. Baloo continues to struggle and scream as the door flings open and there is Hans and Helga (in nightgown- Helga's holding the crowbar while Hans has the candlelight.) Hans asks if Baloo is all right (in a heelish voice).

Baloo shakes as he requests that they get the guest room (Saying ghost in the same breath.) ready because Rebecca's coming and he needed to scream to get attention. Hans agrees as Baloo hopes that a respite would occur. Now we are going to find out which is worse: The Baron Von Bruinwald Family Curse or the WRAITH OF BECKEY~?! Stay tuned as they say. On an Interesting Thought: I don't know what Ted's opinion is now; but there has been a small debate over why Kit isn't in this episode? I mean; if Baloo was going to be rich then why not take his navigator or even Louie with him? (Acutally; Louie not being there is simple: He would have to co-exist with Rebecca and Louie killed that angle dead at the end of A Touch of Glass.) However; here was my theory at the time: BS&P was already sweating over the fact that this curse actually MURDERS the adult barons; including trying to murder Baloo. I mean; a child shouldn't be involved in an episode involving murder. I know that Kit was almost killed twice by Don Karnage; but I guess Standards and Practices was fed up and that's why Kit isn't involved in this episode. Although considering how much in danger Kit and even Molly are in the series; it's kind of silly. It sounds like what Ted said earlier: They didn't think he needed to exist here. That's gratitude to ye indeed. (This kind of behavior is similar to anti-abortionists in the sense that they care more about the fetus than they do the child born. In this case; it's they cared more about the classic character Baloo for profit than they did for the characters that got the execs to bite in the first place: Kit Cloudkicker. Because they have Baloo in Magon's aborted B-Players and it didn't get approved. Lack of gratitude, indeed.) We then get a whiplash jump cut to morning as we see the full front of the castle and the courtyard as we zoom in to see a yellow taxi driving away as Rebecca and WildCat are in awe of the castle.

They take their suitcases and we get a lovely shot of them going up the stairs. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Okay, here's what happened in the original outline: After two weeks of pilots refusing to work for Rebecca because of "slave wages", Rebecca bites the bullet and takes MOLLY CUNNINGHAM with her on a train ride to the castle. They make it to a broken down train station as Rebecca basically is pleading for Baloo to come back (which I guess Baloo no sells since he wants respect from Rebecca...AGAIN!) as the hearse arrives to take them to the castle. Libby's notes imply that the shoe is in Rebecca's mouth now and then after dinner, Baloo takes them on a tour of the castle and then shows the "Death Row" of the barons. That's right; WildCat was not considered either! This all is supposed to happen in Act I instead of Act II by the way, due to the change of dynmanics of the storyline. With the exception of the dinner table being 150 feet, this is the last major point of the episode notes and the rest of this rant will mostly be cleanup. I also have to remember to redo Mommy For A Day to update that rant since there are several major changes notable to that episode.) WildCat wonders why Baloo needs their help if he's so rich and Rebecca warns that Baloo is going to need a hospital if this is merely a trick. The double doors have one B proper and the right side has an upside down B. Someone is really having fun with the visuals in this episode, eh?! (This seems to be a Walt Disney Animation Japan trait.) Rebecca uses the wooden handled knocker on the door to knock on the door. Hans answers the door and addresses Miss Cunningham and Mr. WildCat. So WildCat sounds like the little quirk of having my character addressed as Skywinds. Go figure. (This is another clue to WildCat not being his first name and thus Charles as his name. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Nope. Len Smith has confirmed the name as WildCat Puma. The Charles thing was Molly and WildCat cosplaying the royals in Flight Of The Snowduck. Okay?!))

Hans takes their suitcases, everyone comes in as Baloo runs in and locks the door slamming it shut. Ah; I see he has changed into his pilot's outfit to suck up to Miss Cunningham. This is going to backfire in his face; I just know it. Baloo thanks them for coming, begs Miss Cunningham for protection and Rebecca no sells with the Gruffi pose. Baloo gives her the worst one of course ("We're pals!"). It only took 15 seconds for Baloo to blow up and Rebecca lets him know about it. Baloo then goes for the "You Die! I Die!" card and Rebecca decides to bite after all just to rub it in his face. Rebecca mocks Baloo ("We'll protect you from the bad bogey-monster!") as WildCat assures Baloo that nothing will happen to him. (I don't blame her for mocking Baloo because there is no incentive for her to help him after he basically refused to do his job as a pilot on grounds that she hurt his fee-fees basically. How can anyone respect Baloo when he's the one not taking responsibility for his own life and screwing Rebecca up?! Again; only sexism prevents male fans from realizing this. Rebecca's only doing this to show that she has some humanity in her; but really, Baloo doesn't really want humanity. He wants control and now he's lost that control because he's a manchild.) Sadly; WildCat needs to go to the bathroom. Hans give him the direction and WildCat exits upstairs. Why do I get the feeling that WildCat's going to screw these directions up?! By the way; in 1990 you could only mention that you're going to the bathroom or giving animals a bath. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Well, Baloo is part animal, so Sheepskin Deep still is within basic BS&P parameters.) Today; it's toilet humor, humans nude in the bath (See Fairly Oddparents where Timmy was nude through nine minutes of the eleven minute short.), and fart jokes. While those jokes are funny when they are well timed; timing is NOT a writers' forte nowadays. (Of course! Plus; I find the WildCat bathroom scenes kind of pointless since they were there to pad the running time. Donald Duck from Quack Pack can make filler scenes entertaining. WildCat's bathroom looking is not entertaining. The funniest part of this is WildCat basically call him a buddy. As if WildCat knows Hans. This never get brought up again.)

We now go into the dining room where Rebecca is sitting on one end of the table -- the chair is a diamond -- with Baloo checking his chair -- which is a cross (!!!) -- stating the place is booby-trapped. Rebecca mocks him in return calling him a booby. I love real comments that aren't supposed to real comments. Baloo looks up and sees that the chandelier is hanging above him. Baloo whimpers as he asks Rebecca to change seats. Walt Disney-Japan messes up with chair since it is now a diamond instead of a cross. (Rebecca's chair had no symbol on it on the far shot; but the near shot shows a diamond.) BS&P stepping in on religious symbols perchance?! (As seen in The Old Man & The SeaDuck; nope!) Rebecca sells with grumbles and Struthers sounds bored for some reason. Rebecca takes Baloo's seat as Baloo goes to Rebecca's chair but the chandelier follows him. Baloo is paranoid now as he sits down on Rebecca's chair and places a steel bowl on his head after seeing a bottle of water being thrown away. All that and the chandelier does NOTHING AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING! Hans states that dinner is served as Helga appears with a plate covered with a steel cover. Hans states that today's special is the Baron's favorite as Baloo goes for the water sprayer of laughs and thinks a flambe is in order. (Here's Libby Hinson's mistake: Baloo's line is: "If it's a cake, call the fire department!" Even though no cake was involved. It should be "If it's a chocolate bear, call the fire department!" Karl should have seen this mistake and fixed it.) Helga goes towards Baloo and shoves the plate in his face. She opens the cover to show him the BAVARIAN CUPCAKES OF DEATH. Baloo is completely hyper as Rebecca is probably ready to issue the fatal WRAITH OF BECKEY by now. Helga grunts like a warthog (good timing there Miss Gerber!) and Baloo runs right out the door like a coward. If Hans and Helga are trying to convince Rebecca that Baloo is a lazy, paranoid bear; it's clearly working. (They don't have to; Baloo is doing a good job himself.)

Meanwhile; we go to the lighted hallway with WildCat still looking for the bathroom. Even more hilarious is the mat which looks like a rainbow circle-gram pretending to think it's a pentagram. (It's actually a decagram which is a ten pointed star.) Sadly; since WildCat's sense of direction is beyond laughable; he confused when he has to pick a fork of seven passages. See; there is a reason why this bathroom joke is funny. (Nah; this is boring and pointless, because there is no payoff to this at all.) Baloo returns to his room and locks the doors once again. He removes the key from the keyhole and go to his bed proclaiming that he has destroyed the curse. Baloo of course is lying to himself because he's wearing a lame nightgown and a lame nightcap. (Ummm; you cannot lie to yourself 2010 Me! You can deny yourself; but not lie. Although he is lying to the audience on the other paw.) He puts his ass out as he checks under the bed which allows for a series of candles to point and shoot fire right on Baloo's ass. Baloo screams in kind and flies right into the bookshelf; taking a wussy bump in the process. Baloo twirls in the 180 degree bookshelf spot and takes another wussy bump on the brick floor in a dark hallway. The good news is that Baloo's ass didn't get set on fire. The bad news is Baloo looks up and sees an armored ghost knight brandishing a sword. THE CURSE IS LOOSE & BALOO'S A COOKED GOOSE~!! That actually has serious meaning later on. The ghost knight slashes his Baloo at Baloo and misses; forcing Baloo into the bookshelf and the spot gets recycled backward. What is this; a Scooby Doo reunion episode?! (Nah; it's not because Richard Merwin is not the writer here. Although Libby Hinson and Karl Geurs are making Richard Merwin look second rate in this episode.) Baloo starts running around in circles with the usual lame screaming and goes to the door and tugs at it. (All the eight different locks suddenly change to four lash key locks on the next shot the door is shown. Bad form there, animators.)

It suddenly opens (Man; someone needs to sue the lock master for that spot!) and Baloo runs into the hallway screaming his lungs out. I hear the WRAITH OF BECKEY commencing as post-production cuts straight to the GUEST ROOM OF LOVE AND DEATH. (The entire room looks like a Saint Valentine's Day Massacre waiting to happen with all of the love, hearts and cupid statues the animators could animate on short notice.) Baloo flings open the door and there's Rebecca Cunningham in bed with the eye-patch over her eyes. She wakes up of course; sounding ready to keep her word about Baloo needing a hospital. Baloo asks if he can stay in her room and Rebecca no-sells by being too sleepy to invoke the WRAITH OF BECKEY. Baloo is paranoid as heck and wants to switch places. I always wondered where "Trading Spaces" came from. Rebecca stands up and leaves the room; just to get away from Baron Von Coward. Baloo calls Rebecca a pal which is so lame now that Baloo's becoming a tragic, sick joke. Disney Caption laughably claims that she said that it's okay and she'll see him later but the audio sounds like she's grumbling only with no words at all. (Nope; Disney Captions got this part right for a change.) We return to the hallway as WildCat continues to screw up the directions. It's pretty clear that WildCat isn't using the toilet because there would be a big mess on the floor by now. WildCat turns left at the corner. We return to the GUEST ROOM OF LOVE AND DEATH -- which judging by the piano is where the sixth baron slept -- which begs the question: Is he gay? (Nope; he's merely a piano player.) -- with a near shot of four cupid statues pointing arrows down at the floor. Why do I sense they are the next trap? Baloo's psychological age is lowered to six years old as he checks under the bed. Baloo finds nothing under the bed and believes that he is safe. He sits on the bed and suddenly; Baloo's nightcap is shot off his head by an arrow.

Well good; it's so lame anyway as a couple more arrows -- which are gold-plated by the way -- miss Baloo by a foot (or in this case; hit the pillow). Baloo turns around and sees five cupid statues on the right side and five cupid statues on the left side and four cupid statues from above. Oh; man this is turning into a ironic song ("Clown to the left of me; Jokers to the right; Hear I am; stuck in the middle with you...") as this curse is so sadistic. The cupid statues shoot their deadly contents straight at Baloo and miss. I thought Colonel Slammer was the biggest sadist on this show. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Have you not watch Helga enough on this show?! Dammit!) Baloo runs around dodging hundreds of arrows and screaming for Rebecca. If they were bullets; it would be 1.1 Trigun right now as Rebecca -- who is now sleeping in the Baron's room -- wakes up again in the Baron's room and gets the second kill reference of this episode. (Yes folks; we have only the sixth episode in the series so far during my additional commentary notes that the bullet shooting guns don't get pulled out. But there are arrows, flamethrowers, spears and two murderous furries, oh my!) She finally has justification for the WRAITH OF BECKEY now as she goes into the GUEST ROOM OF LOVE AND DEATH to let Baloo have it. However; she stops in horror as Baloo is pinned to the wall with arrows as a piano leftover from the sixth baron no doubt: CONTINUITY~ heads straight at Baloo with a cupid statue attached to the front; WITH AN ARROW POINTING AT BALOO'S HEART~! TOTAL MARKUP CITY~ for that spot. Rebecca grabs Baloo and tears him away from the wall. They both exit the room as the piano takes a MAN-SIZED BUMP (off-screen) into the wall. Thank God the cupid statue was wearing clean underwear; or Eisner would never forgive Libby Hinson for that spot. Rebecca finally admits that Baloo was right after all and that he is cursed. (At least it's Baloo getting his comeupparance instead of Rebecca's. Although Rebecca's going to have "fun" with the killer staff a few scenes down the road.)

Baloo then makes a promise that he cannot keep and she wouldn't care if he made it anyway. Baloo states that it's time to get out of the castle; but Rebecca gets the LIGHTBLUB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as WildCat is missing! We see that WildCat goes into the next hallway doing some funny stuff with math. It's the joke that keeps on laughing. (I haven't laughed since the beginning of the joke because WildCat isn't selling the fact that he needs the bathroom. Say what you will about modern cartoons showing characters holding their groins when they need the bathroom; but at least they are selling it. WildCat is just walking around for no reason just because we need to pad the running time. Why bother having WildCat in the episode then?!) The search for WildCat is on as Rebecca takes a candle light (helpfully shown on the near shot during the scene changer) and searches a very dark room (probably the book room) as Baloo is searching a creepy hallway dressed in a suit of armor and candlelight. That's another logic break as this episode has turned into a Scooby-Doo episode. (Oh please; if this was a Scooby-Doo episode; Richard Merwin would be story editing this.) Libby must be having an off-day today. (What logic break? Baloo and Rebecca split up to look for WildCat. There was an incentive to do this; even if the person missing isn't contributing to the episode in any meaningful way.) Rebecca goes into another creepy hallway and hears Hans talking about how stupid Baloo is compared to the other barons. Rebecca leans against the stone wall to listen as Helga demands patience while speaking German (mein lieber schnitzel which is German for "My Dear Schnitzel."). We see Hans and Helga in the kitchen talking about how easy it was for Hans' father in disposing the 12th baron. Helga states that once Baloo is disposed of; the chateau is there's according to the will since Baloo is the final baron. Oh my God!

They were MURDERED as Rebecca makes a fatal sound. (Why yes; Hans and Helga want to regain the estate by eliminating the entire Von Bruinwald bloodline. It's too bad that kids just want comedy because; what an angle you have with Baloo here: Baloo was born of royalty and it's clear that he forsaked it for being a pilot. Why did he leave the castle when he was a kid?! Did he know about the murders and was abused enough to repress this from his mind?! There is enough right there to create a really amazing story out of it; but we will never hear about this again. I mean; it would explain why Baloo chose "Bear" as his last name, too. Someone needs to write a fanfic about this; and it won't be me because I suck at writing fanfics.) Helga and Hans clearly hear it and Helga very quietly walks to a device that hangs pots and pans. She pulls a pot as a lever (JESUS~!) and the wall twirls around forcing Rebecca to slide into the kitchen. Helga is so pleased to have her as a guest that she pulls another lever (JESUS~!) and the floor opens up under Rebecca. Rebecca falls into the fire pit which has a huge spit and a cookie sheet on top. Rebecca grabs a stray rope and does an awesome spot where she springs up and get tied up against the cookie sheet. TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT~! (That is a money shot visual right there.) Helga laughs and grunts in kind. This is sheer terror! This is sheer EVIL! This means Hans and Helga are over as monster heels. Now do you understand why Kit wasn't in this episode people?! (Occam Razor says; yes he would be in this episode. Although, Kit would probably be doing the bathroom joke if they did bring him into the picture which is basically redoing the suit of armor in Waiders Of The Wost Tweasure. Which would be no worse than WildCat doing it.) Helga insist that she stay for dinner and Rebecca screams on the platter over flames from hell in the zoom out sky shot to end the segment seventeen minutes in. Torture the Beckey indeed! I'm sure even the Tree house Syndrome fans would be taken aback from this. Or maybe not. Also, here's a running guide from my previous rant on this episode before we march on.

Interesting Thought: Here's a guide as to how all the twelve barons had died:

Baron #1: Killed when a warthog teared his heart out when served on a platter.
Baron #2: Killed in the swimming pool by a shark. (Hans already implied this.)
Baron #3: Killed when he was set on fire by a flaming chocolate bear.
Baron #4: Killed when he was shocked to death by an electric eel. (Hans already confirmed this during the hallway painting scene.)
Baron #5: Killed when sliced by the SLICER OF DEATH in the icebox.
Baron #6: Killed when someone -- probably Helga; knowing her -- placed a pad of butter on the parapet of the castle and he fell to the ground. (Same as Baron #4.)
Baron #7: Killed when sliced in half by a swinging sickle on the stairs. (Hans confirmed this on the stairs.)
Baron #8: Killed by a falling chandelier in the dining room. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Hans heavily implied this happened in a scene that was snipped for time.)
Baron #9: Killed when a cupcake was poisoned and choked on his own blood. (Hans confirmed this in the kitchen.)
Baron #10: Killed by flying knives and international objects and fell into a trap door to the moat.
Baron #11: Killed by a room filled with golden cupid statues shooting real golden arrows.
Baron #12: Killed when he was tied against a roasting sheet in the firepit.
Baloo (Baron #13): Still to be determined as he has not been killed yet.

However; that one is still to come and it's the most ironic death in DTVA history. What is it? Stay tuned as they say. (Five of the thirteen barons deaths were confirmed, one would have happened had the scene not been snipped out for time and the other six baron deaths were implied by the traps. While there's no official confirmation that this list is accurate; it is possible given that all the traps Helga laid here caused the barons' death.)

After the commercial break; we see in a hallway Baloo walking with a candlelight and his suit of armor and sword. Baloo hears Rebecca's screams and they are lame. Baloo runs through the hallway of bear knights, Baloo finds the conveniently placed dumb waiter and goes down with it yelling for Rebecca as it stops right on the floor where the kichen is. Nice bump by Pop-A-Bear by the way. Hans and Helga realize this right away as Helga grabs the frying pan. Baloo's face mask goes over his eyes and he cannot see. He goes towards the trap door as Hans goes over there as well. Baloo manages to duck as Hans tries to grab him and Helga whacks Hans with the frying pan. (Another cringeful shot to the head. Speaking of sick cartoons...) Hans goes flying and takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the cupboard. Now that's selling like a champ. Cuckoo clock sound effect ensue as the animation is dead-on. Walt Disney-Japan must be finally off the medication here as Helga sets up Baloo again. However; Baloo slips on a can (which was on the floor in the entire sequence) and starts rolling away from Helga. Helga misses again with the frying pan of course. Baloo trips and falls right onto the CHOCOLATE SQUIRTER OF LAUGHS and the chocolate flies on Hans and Helga so hard that they go flying into the cupboard in another MAN-SIZED bump. Man; Hans and Helga sell like an anime series; that's for sure. (Because of course; you cannot have Baloo unintentionally smack a woman, even though Helga is trying to MURDER Baloo legit.) Baloo finally takes off his helmet off (off-screen) and closes the cupboard; locking the doors with a chair. Like that's going to work as Baloo finds a rope and climbs down to help Rebecca; calling her madam in bad English tone. What a shocker?! Rebecca almost takes God's name in vain ("thank goodness") as she is relieved. Now we are even. (Like this show tends to do.) Baloo and Rebecca climb out as Rebecca actually thanks Baloo for saving her neck.

Rebecca wants to bust those bums as we get a FPS shot of Baloo opening the cupboard and there is nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING. They escaped through the back wall of the cupboard as there is a secret door. HA! We then see Hans and Helga with knife and axe -- in that order -- and they charge the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE~! Baloo and Rebecca scream and go stage right complete with Hanna Barbara running sound and looping effects. If this was Sunwoo animating then this episode would be a classic. They run right out of the castle into the driveway towards the golden gate as we cut to Helga invoke THE SWITCH~! We then see the babyfaces stop in front and Baloo foolishly touches the golden gate and gets shocked and fried. HAHA! Baloo's oversell includes A-1 eyes and a beeping red nose. HAHA! (I put nothing past anyone who believes A-1 Productions working on this show. Or Studio Jack. Or Kum Young. Or even TMS themselves. Not after considering that outsourcing to other studios even though the original studio is outsourcing to that studio like Walt Disney Animation Japan.) Never underestimate the power of the X-RAY OF DOOM, Pop-A-Bear! (That's why the electrified gate doesn't count because Baloo didn't die from it.) Rebecca and Baloo are so screwed as WildCat continues the bathroom joke just to amuse me. It's funny because it hasn't got anything to do with the bathroom at all. Sadly we never get to see WildCat in this awesome background scene. We logically head back to Hans and Helga stalking the babyfaces with cutlery of course which allows Hans to proclaim that he loves it when Helga gets all fetish with her knife. That is ultra creepy folks; as much as I give grief to Baloo for loving his plane like a human being. This is the equivalent of a one track mind to murder if you ask me. We then zoom in on the bushes and out pops Pop-A-Bear's head along with his trophy wife. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...(They aren't married 2010 Me. You deserved that shot to the kisser.)

Baloo proclaims that they are fired and Rebecca shuts Baloo's mouth up because they won't quit until Baloo is kaput since they are after the castle. We then see them hiding as Baloo proclaims that they can have the castle as long as he gets the hell out of here alive. Rebecca ponders and then has the ultimate Krackpotkin Plan as this gem line indicates:

Rebecca: I've got a plan. The only way to get you out of here alive is...{Pointing at Baloo's nose.}...to kill you! (Death reference #3 for the episode.)

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Baloo doesn't like that one bit as I predicted his response would be. Rebecca tells Baloo to trust her since she's been waiting for this for a long time. Memo to Rebecca: Gadget called; she wants her innocent sadist routine back. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Gadget's great; but Rebecca doing it is a million times funnier actually.) We go to the scene changer as we go to the sky shot of the driveway. Hans and Helga continue to search the place and then the glass breaks and it's STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! Oh wait...wrong show. Baloo screams that he is a goner (Best acting ever by Mr. Gilbert!); followed be a huge MAN-SIZED bump. Hans and Helga are SHOCKED as they go back to the back, then get the LIGHTBLUB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY, run to the front stairs of the castle and they see Baloo, face down on the road with glass shards everywhere. Ooooooo...I think Libby Hinson is going to get a scolding from BS&P soon after this episode is over. (Yes; because faking a death scene is equal to having a real one.) Hans and Helga are in shock because the Baron fell out a window and they didn't have a chance to push him out. That's just EVIL! Even more EVIL than Helga attempts to speak like a Nazi version of Mrs. Beakly. (You already Godwinned the episode; although Helga is dangerously close to being accurate that you got out of Godwin pretty quickly.) We see a shot of the topside which shows that someone threw a rock and shattered the window. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: To remind the audience that this is a fake death. It wasn't needed.) Baloo appears to be dead as Rebecca appears dressed up as an undertaker addressing herself as Fritz Knedlhoffer. (Speaking of German names...) Now, I would have thought that the fact that the suit doesn't fit Miss Cunningham -- not to mention the porn mustache -- would blow her cover.

However, all Hans and Helga ask if one of them called _the undertaker_ and both deny it. The job; not the wrestler of course. The Undertaker -- the wrestler, not the job -- actually made his WWE debut around the time this episode aired. Rebecca checks Baloo's pulse with a watch and proclaims Baloo dead; which means he really is not. What is a big staple of anime? Death. This is the first time in DTVA history that they preformed a death scene with an actual body -- even though it is faked -- and it is creepy to say the least. TOTAL MARKUP CITY #3! (I don't think even Gargoyles went that far.) Rebecca asks if there have any relations to this fake corpse and the two MURDEROUS PIGS lie about it. Hans, Helga and Rebecca grab Baloo and carry him to the wheel barrow. Helga insults Baloo by calling him a tub of lard as Baloo does the tongue sticking out spot which never works for some odd reason. The three furries drop Baloo onto the wheelbarrow and Rebecca adds the finishing touch by placing the black cloth on Baloo's head thus maintaining CONTINUITY from the beginning of the episode where the black cloth was on top of a statue's head that Hans was carrying. This is a lot more convincing than the suicide Launchpad in Heroes For Hire due to the fact that we have a clear “dead” body if you catch my drift here. (Alan Young's acting was horrible during that scene too.) Hans and Helga do the SQUIDWARD HAPPY DANCE #3 because it's a duet! (Squidward's happy dance is MANY BUYS~! I mean it! For all the jackassery Squidward inflicts; nothing makes me smile more than that dance. Except for Molly burying cynical Kit Cloudkicker.) The dancers dance towards the castle as Rebecca wheels Baloo towards the gate. Baloo wakes up and wants to give Hans a piece of his fist while uncovering the black cloth since he was called a fatass. Sorry Pop-A-Bear; but you are a fatass. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... However; a familiar voice beckons as Austin Featherridge appears with two police officers (The officers look like poorly drawn otters with mustaches, one blond, one brown.). Oh; now that's awfully convenient of him to arrive. Baloo demands that Hans and Helga be arrested as they are still dancing. Austin asks for what charges? (Yeah; because it's rather awkward to arrest someone on charges of dancing even though some moral guardians would love to make that a crime.) Rebecca gets off this gem:

Rebecca: Attempted Murder!!
Baloo: And bad cookin'!!

At the time; this was shocking to me since the word murder was considered a no-no on a children's show. However; they have been using this word since The Wuzzles so it isn't surprising during that time. However; it is still interesting since most children's cartoons nowadays won't allow you to say die. In German or otherwise. (Not anymore. BS&P has since mellowed out on that for the most part. Bullet shooting guns on the other hand; no chance in hell they are coming back.) Rebecca takes off her undertaker suit as Hans and Helga are pushed out without incident. Wow; so much for Helga's sadism there folks. Baloo thanks Rebecca for saving him and invites Rebecca to have fish eggs in the dining room. Rebecca agrees to it gleefully and they both start to go towards the castle. However; a police officer cuts them off as Austin stop them... UH OH! Austin Featheridge is actually smoking a pipe and has a smoking pipe in his hands. Sadly; no smoke comes out of it. So there's TaleSpin's only smoking scene that I am aware of. Austin explains that the Barons were really cursed after all because of the dread THREE HUNDRED YEARS OF BANK TAXES CURSE!! (Yes folks; these barons were so arrogant that they forgot to pay their taxes. Even funnier; Usland's tax system is even more slanted against the rich than anyone in the real world. That is just great, folks!) Baloo shrugs it off and agrees to write a check to them. It's truffles to Baloo and Rebecca gleefully corrects him again. Austin calls it not as a little problem is that the back taxes equal $500,000,001.89. Baron Von Bruinweld is worth five hundred million dollars meaning that Austin has no choice but to repossess the estate and Baloo owes the bank $1.89 as Austin's eyes light up on that one! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (While it's a mistake on Libby's part; I can accept that what Austin was talking about since it can be constructed as liquid cash.) Baloo faints right onto the wheelbarrow to end the awesome segment.

Thus the 13^th Baron dies in the most ironic way possible. It's the worst death of them all: Being taxed to death. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Now this is a great punchline to the whole thing: Baloo did everything he could to not die; and yet his legacy died not because he was killed, it was because he failed to pay his taxes. He was literally taxed to death. Now he has to pay $1.89 (which is easy money); but he loses the estate altogether and is no longer a rich guy anymore. It's too funny and Baloo got his comeupparance for his arrogant attitude towards Rebecca. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: In the world of TaleSpin, tax thieves do get their comeupperance. I love this final product a lot more than the original plan in the outline and it shows. It really, really shows.)) We go to Rebecca's apartment as Baloo is sitting down with Freedom Fries. Umm, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER, GREGORY~! I mean French Fries on the table. Rebecca gets a cheeseburger and places it on the table as Baloo uses Austin's voice to respond by showing good manners for a change. That isn't a voice mistake; it was done on purpose (Besides; Ed Gilbert does both Austin and Baloo anyway.). Baloo licks his tongue and proclaims that Rebecca's food is the best as she sits down. Rebecca eats some fries and talks with her mouth full (Can you smell the marriage rubbing off of them?!). Rebecca then gets the LIGHTBLUB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that WildCat is still in the chateau! Oh well; I'm sure Austin will find him; unless he gets caught in a stray trap. (Yeah; because we'll never know how murderous Helga can get. She is the defintion of a monster and I mean that in the nicest way possible.) We cut back to the far shot of the castle as WildCat is still confused as hell. HAHA! What a shock that is?! We pan up and that ends the episode, disc three and volume one at 21:19. A few nagging animation errors prevents a full monty; but this is more enjoyable on the second viewing if only to show how sadistic Helga is. That finish was KILLER, indeed! (Libby Hinson wrote a really great episode; but the whole WildCat bathroom stuff is just there to pad the running time and wasn't all that funny because WildCat didn't sell anything to a reason to go to the bathroom. Libby also made a few mistakes in dialogue; and the animation continuity was all over the place. So call it **** (80%).)

THE REVIEW LINE

Libby Hinson's writing never ceases to amaze me as she found a way to create a murder mystery episode and make it both creepy and fun to watch at the same time. It also shows that even Rebecca has a tolerance level when it comes to Baloo's antics. Hans and Helga were pure evil in every sense of the word; wanting to kill Baloo at every turn and made up some of the most creative use of traps. (The cupid statues for example.) WildCat was WildCat and made a funny bathroom seems like child's play. (I'm not happy with thebathroom hallway scenes because WildCat wasn't justifying why he needs the bathroom. Hans & Helga were a lot more funnier and nastier than I thought and they played it to the hilt.)) Libby Hinson did commit a couple of logic breaks which is pretty out of character for her writing and didn't get any help from Walt Disney Animation Japan which messed up several scenes quite a bit; for the second time in two episodes. However; in the end this was a great episode that didn't need Kit to prop the episode up and the fact that Libby was able to get away from a murder plot was priceless. Libby Hinson in 1990 ruled. (Still does.) Still; in spite of the word murder being passe; seeing Austin with a smoke pipe was a bit surprising since I thought there weren't any smoking scenes in TaleSpin. (Well; the pipe wasn't lit; but at least it didn't blow bubbles like Bonker's pipe in Sheerluck Bonkers. (Although smoking was allowed in the TaleSpin comics.) That would have sucked. The even bigger surprise is no guns in this episode. Hooray! The special day happened.) That is that for Volume One of TaleSpin. The final result for this disc is five thumbs up and four in the middle which is down one thumbs up from the last re-rants. So the end total is 20 thumbs up and seven thumbs in the middle which still ranks as the best volume in the entire Disney DVD sets that I have ranted on. Next up is the second volume of DVD discs which is easier since this volume has five chapter stops per episode. As for the quality of the episodes; we shall see as next up is A Baloo Switcheroo: the episode where Kit made history in a sense. So......

Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you next time.

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