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Citizen Khan Re-Rant

Reviewed: 12/04/2010
Additional Commentary: 11/08/2021

Certainly No Where Near As Good As A Parody.

Original Airdate: 12/03/1990 (Syndication), Episode #41 (TaleSpin DVD Volume 2, Disc 2), Episode #33 (Production Order).

Citizen Khan Notes
Citizen Khan Transcript

Well; if there was any episode I couldn't really stand in the 1990 episodes; this one would be it. I remember not liking the first five minutes of this and then it got a lot better once WildCat turned into fake Shere Khan. I also believe that this is the DTVA debut for Kath Soucie and a number of storyboard artists as well. (2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Actually; it was just one scene at the beginning of the episode that bothered me which was the court house scene with Kit in handcuffs and leg irons. Apparently; one of my fans drew pictures of Kit in prison gear as a running joke for that moment. Since then, I have completely mellowed out of this since the scene itself wasn't awful at all. I really hate "sheriff" Gomer; but the thing is, he was booked in such a way that you were supposed to hate him. I'll explain some more about this in the rant below because this show in a way predicted the future and made "sheriff" Gomer a lot more relevent than he deserves to be. Anyhow; this is the final episode I have transcribed that has never been on the blacklist which makes it the sixty third episode I have transcribed. The plot is this: Baloo, Kit and WildCat are delivering cargo when they are captured and forced to do hard labour in a "silver mine". Except now the mine is filled with an explosive metal called Urgonium. Sadly; I couldn't find a reference to this, so I assume it was made up for entertainment purposes. WildCat unintentionally causes one of them to explode; causing him to have black marks ala Shere Khan, causing the sheriff and his deputy to believe that WildCat is the real Khan. Meanwhile; we discover that this is a private shanty town and the miners are being mistreated. WildCat meets the future foreman and current reporter Clementine Clevenger, whose reports are not getting to Mr. Khan. Huh. Kevin Johnston called this the best episode of the series, and after seeing it again; I wouldn't go that far. On the other hand; I have acutely underrated this episode and this is the most improved episode of the series bar none now. This is the sort of thing TaleSpin does on a regular basis, but this episode deserves more love considering that in America, we have a sheriff in Arizona who is probably more facsist than Gomer was. Ponder that for a moment.) Let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode is written by Eric Lewald. The story is edited by the late Bruce Talkington. The animation is done by Sunwoo Animation. (For transcription purposes, this was Sunwoo's final episode and like Wang Films, they cannot do a billards scene properly. I never considered Eric Lewald to be the best writer in DTVA history as he has had more success outside Disney, but this is a prime example of what happens when he really is at his best. If you ever wanted to know why companies were bringing him in as a writer, this is the episode to see why.)

We begin this one in the wild west as the SeaDuck rides around dropping fruit onto those poor innocent CACTUS JACKS OF DOOM. Kit is actually speaking about the desert and worrying about the SeaDuck breaking down. Inside the SeaDuck we hear Baloo state that this is why they brought WildCat along and since Baloo and Kit are inside the SeaDuck you can take one guess as to who is throwing fruit around. Baloo puts the Redneck Autopilot of Doom on the SeaDuck and checks to the back where we see WildCat throwing kumquats out of the tailsection of the SeaDuck. Baloo stops him from doing that and protests this outrage. WildCat responds with something that only makes sense in his own mind. (Actually, Baloo claims that they are Carnuivan kumquats and they are worth do-re-mi. In other words; the reward they get is some musical stuff. Which begs the question: Why does Rebecca want music and above all, why does Carnuiva have songs as currency? Of course; none of this matters because the kumquats serve no purpose to the main story, except during the finish. By the way; Carnuiva is a wax substance found in bubble gum. So my guess is that this country specialites in bubble gum. Which makes sense since during this episode, WildCat is making references to bubble gum fixing everything. I wondered why WildCat was saying it and it came back to this reference of Carnuiva. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Strangely, there is an actual comic strip featuring the kingdom of Gumbreaux where Baloo took Molly over to have some of the bubbly which is dangerously close to an alcohol reference. It also featured a bubble gum spitting bat who spit gum in your face for singing badly. I was so disappointed that one of the monsters made by the Stone That What Was was not a bat who spit gum at Kit while Kit sings. That would have been money!)) Apparently; the fruit is rotten and Baloo explains why they took the shortcut. However; Kit picks up a fruit and it squashes in his paws. That is one rotten piece of fruit and it smells as Kit shed a tear to sell the fact that it smells worse than THE ULTIMATE SHORT JOKE'S aftershave. (Now there's an angle that would be explored today and go on for too long: How did Kit know which aftershave Colonel Spigot used to get that smell? Personally; I want to know! Sometimes, fart jokes can be funny even to a 39 year old adult like me. You just have to be a lot more creative about it.)

Baloo and Kit return to the SeaDuck cockpit as the deal is apparently going to turn sour as the sirens beckons and two weird looking airplanes -- which look more like steel bulls flying. (Which in the transcript, I wrote wooden flying horses. Wooden bulls would be more accurate and these two petty tyrants are so full of it.)) -- which puts those short wings of CT-37's to shame in absurdness, appear. The one on the SeaDuck's left calls for Baloo to pull over (Frank Welker) with the megaphone and Baloo refuses because there are no police here and DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) don't apply in the wild west as the SeaDuck flies away. That's a no-no Baloo (resisting arrest) as Wendell (Okay; I gave the name away but I can't tell what furry he is so there you go. He is voiced by Frank Welker. (He is a coyote furry and Gomer addressed him as Wendell by name seconds later so it's no problem. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: TaleSpin loved to make real and fake police officers pig furries for some odd reason.))) puts the megaphone away and brings out the slingshots (complete with twirl spot) and the explosion stones. I'll explain that later as a pig furry tells him to let him have it. The outfits show that they are indeed police officers and therefore Baloo should have followed DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!). (No it doesn't. As we found out in the courthouse -- a scene that 2010 me glossed over because he couldn't stand the horrible sight of a child in leg irons -- Clementine pointed out that Gomer and Wendell are impersonating the police because the town of Boomstone (which is a play on Tombstone, Arizona; which makes the whole sitaution even more frightenly relevent.) was in fact owned by Shere Khan and not the officers.) Wendell shoots the explosion stone and it kills the left engine of the SeaDuck dead. Baloo is forced to land and play cowboys and indians in Kit and Baloo's own words not mine. I thought indians were forbidden on children's television too. (I don't think Toon Disney cut this out; which is hypocritical since they cut out the injurn line in Mach One For The Gipper. Trying to make sense of Toon Disney's editing practices is a waste of time and the show's on DVD in it's entirety (minus the scenes first run syndication cut in Plunder and Lightning); so just buy the DVD's already and stop depending on Youtube for my help.)

Cue the next scene as we head to the WILD WEST PEOPLE'S COURT~. (It's not nearly as funny as the Thembrian one; but I'm no longer offended by this and it did the job it was supposed to do: Baloo and company are forced to work six months in the mines and lose the SeaDuck forever meaning that they will be working in the mines forever basically. Here's the important takeaway from this episode: "Sheriff" Gomer is the worst heel in the show and I hate his rotten, stinking guts. But here's the thing: He's booked as a heel you are supposed to hate. You want to see Gomer get his ass handed to him at the end because he is a corrupt, petty, tryantal heel disguised as an authority figure. What makes this heel scarier is that this episode aired three years before a real tyrant of a sheriff existed in Arizona (although in a different county compared to where Tombstone was. To be fair; the Boomstone town was named in honor of the exploding stones Urgonium, so any other name would have made no sense.) known as sheriff Joe Arpaio. Dispatches From The Culture Wars, Ed Brayton has a small sample of his misconduct here. Worse, "sheriff" Gomer is not a sheriff nor a judge. Arpaio was elected for twenty-three years and pulled off this crap like it was something normalized. I was amazed at how Eric predicted the future in a way and considering that Baloo is supposed to be Indian in nature (as in "from India") and there is a child and an autstic character in WildCat, it makes the connection even more profound. Unlike Arpaio though; Gomer is not going to get away with his actions in the end.) Normally; I would go over scenes in detail but I won't in this case because this is the scene that really bothered me. It's not even funny; it's awful. Where's Judge Judy when you need her? Okay; that's ten years away, but still. Seeing Kit in leg irons might have been ballsy by the writers; but it's overkill for this episode. The trial ends in ten seconds flat as the prisoners are found guilty as Gomer annoys me with the toothpick spot. (Which Baloo proceeds to steal in Gruel & Unusual Punishment which was the next episode after this one. There are some moments which should be completely forgotten and this was one of them.)

Clementine tries to explain to Gomer that this is only Khan's property. Nice try Clementine; but this is stupid and you know it. (No it's not. Clementine was pointing out that Gomer and Wendell are cosplaying authority figures, which is in fact true.) Gomer tries to beat around the bush before finally no-selling because he runs the mine. (Until otherwise stated by Mr. Khan.) Baloo protests this outrage and attacks Wendell by shaking him. That's also a no-no Pop-A-Bear. (The gist of this is that Baloo, Kit and WildCat are friends of Shere Khan. So I'm guessing this episode happened after Louie's Last Stand. Even more humorous; WildCat has never met Shere Khan in this show until this episode! He probably heard of him a few times, but never actually met him. Kit and Baloo have met him at least once at this point.) Apparently; a telephone is broken too but I lost track because of this horrible scene. (Which as we found out later; Gomer was lying about this as well.) Please go to the next scene guys; this is not the Glorious Thembrian People's Court. It's not funny Gomer; get over it. Thankfully; Gomer ends it by threathening the babyfaces with the exploding stones of doom. Thank goodness for small favors. While I am at it here; Shrieff Gormer (Again; some people thought he had a last name called Clegghorn, but that was fanonal unless proven otherwise.) is voiced by the late David Doyle whom passed away in 1997. Clementine Clevenger (Disney Captions has it as Clemenger; but the audio has it as Clevenger. Neither one has any real meaning.) is voiced by Kath Soucie. We head to a pan shot of the desert and then to the silver mine as Baloo continues to threaten Gomer and that's a big no-no too. (Baloo's threat was that when Khan finds out, Gomer wouldn't be a dogcatcher in a mud puddle. Which is stupid because at the end, Gomer and Wendell were busted down to miners. Which is way too generous to me.) Gomer asks the obvious question: How is he going to find out? Baloo thinks Khan read Clementine's reports. Gomer ribs Wendell on the reports and Wendell claims that Khan might as well be refereeing in the NBA; since he didn't see a thing. My joke; not his of course.

Gomer invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH in response as Kit notices a bucket of shiny rocks and points out that it doesn't look like silver. Gomer points out that it's Urgonium (According to Disney Captions; it's close enough to me wording so there you go. I think it's a play on Uranium, but I don't recall Uranium being explosive. I'll have to check back on that later on, my head hurts seeing 2010 me attempt to hate Gomer and think that's a bad thing in this case.) as we pan over to Gomer explaining that the silver ran off a long time ago. One of the miners (looks like a gray mole) appears to have expired right in front of us as the miners (Including a giraffe miner and another one I believe is a dog furry. The mole furry would be all right by the way and I believe even spoke a line or two. I'm surprised that they don't pull out these kinds of furries like the giraffe furry on a regular basis in this show. In a way; this makes me love Zootopia even more now.) as the rock is hard on them. See; he needs special prisoners...ERRR...I mean special volunteers to help the armies and demolition companies paying out of the nose. (So; Gomer and Wendell's motive is lots of money. That doesn't automatically make you a heel; unless you are forcing people against their will to do your dirty work for you. Then it's really heelish and is slavery actually.) Wildcat goes over to the bucket and grabs one and calls it pretty. Wendell orders him to put it down and that is absolutely stupid as WildCat drops the rock on the rocks and we cut to outside for the FCC FRIENDLY EXPLOSION OF DEATH as everyone is knocked to the ground and half of the mine is destroyed of course. No one is injuried of course which is a BS&P decision since Baloo was injuried from a point blank explosion in For A Fuel Dollars More. (Actually; Wendell was almost killed which is the running gag of this episode. Of course, Kit was going to be fine irregardless of this was a BS&P decision or not.) One of the Khan pictures comes down as Wildcat's hat is gone and his sides are scratched up looking like Khan. Gomer is behind the rock using Wendell as a shield because he's completely black in color from the explosion. THAT'S RACIST! (This is the running gag for Wendell: Everytime the Urgonium explodes; he turns into a ash/soot covered roman candle, and once his hat was on fire. Sadly; the punchline of the joke was killed at the finish and I'll explain that later on.)

Baloo thinks Gomer has seen a ghost. If only Baloo, if only. Kit gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that WildCat looks like Khan now. Well; minus the emotions, mannerisms and height; he does look almost like Khan. Almost. At least it's not Launchpad as the Darkwing Decoy. (Also of note; WildCat only has to fool three people: Gomer, Wendell and Clementine. Darkwing Decoy had to and succeeded in fooling the entire city of Saint Carnard into thinking he's Darkwing Duck. There's no way that works in Darkwing Duck.) Baloo proclaims with weak acting that their secret is out and WildCat repeats him so Baloo elbows him in the back. WildCat calls himself Mr. Khan after all. His friends call him Shere; but he has no friends. After being in the same presence as Baloo and Kit?! Yeah right?! Still; Gomer and Wendell sell as they suck up to WildCat Khan. (It's funny to see Gomer and Wendell sucking up to WildCat now and falling for this after they basically put their own boss on hard labour. As you'll see later on, this is a deflection move and everything they say is carny talk for them killing WildCat at their earliest convenience, since if Khan finds out about their plans; they are sunk.) See; WildCat Khan dresses this way unless it's his birthday and therefore he has a special suit for that. (Implied nudity reference much there Lewald? Which is hilarious considering Kit and Baloo wear no pants. So it has to be a special non-nude suit.) Baloo proclaims that he dresses up like WildCat when doing investigations like missing reports. Wendell is ordered to get the plane ready to fly back to town. (I think he meant back to Cape Suzette because if it was Boomstone; that's stupid since as we see a moment later, Baloo, Kit and WildCat run back to Boomstone from the mine with Gomer and Wendell in tow.) Gomer pushes the babyfaces all out of the mine as Kit on the way out asks if he's going to lock the door. Gomer no sells because airplane is the only way out and the miners love it here. (Which is another lie by the way.) We cut to the three miners as a giraffe miner voiced by the late Ronald Feinberg, a mole miner, and a dog miner have other ideas for Mr. Khan and he's not going to like them either. (The gist of it is the SeaDuck is their ticket home and they are going to kidnap Khan WildCat and use him as ransom to free themselves. This is not going to work because Gomer and Wendell are tyrants who want Khan out of their way more than the miners do.)

We head back to Boomstone near the SeaDuck as a grey beaver furry in a red shirt is checking the engines (How 2010 me got this wrong in the previous rant is a mystery to me since he thought Wendell was checking the engines.) and Baloo and Gomer exchanging surprises jokes that don't really catch. Gomer claims that Khan was about to give up on the mine until they discovered the Urgonium. Gomer nearly blows his cover as we get a still frame shot of the bull rider plane. Baloo sarcastically thinks it's there so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands and Gomer calls it a great big misunderstanding. Baloo calls for Wildcat Khan and WildCat Khan tells the beaver mechanic that bubblegum holds up better with engines. Baloo grabs him and tells Gomer that planes are his hobby which allows Gomer to blow off the SeaDuck as an antique. Baloo is not amused by that one as Kit teleports behind WildCat out of nowhere. I guess he was just looking around as Gomer wants them to rest till takeoff time. It's Khan's town after all as Kit doesn't trust that shrieff. Well; he basically gave away his scheme front and center so I can see why. (Yup.) We see the babyfaces walking on the side shot as Baloo proclaims that they are making prop wash after the SeaDuck is up to snuff. We then cut to Wendell and Gomer at the SeaDuck as Wendell proclaims that if Khan gets home they are screwed. Gomer tells him not to worry because WildCat Khan isn't getting home and has a Krackpotkin plan in mind. So we cut to "The Red Eye Saloon" as WildCat is worried about the SeaDuck. We head inside as Kit, Baloo and Wildcat Khan are enjoying supper as Baloo tells Mr. Khan to relax. Baloo has a chicken leg as we see Clementine walk in with a book. Did I mention Clementine talks with a southern accent? (So does Wendell for that matter. Gomer's accent is hideous and impossible to describe. Kind of like Fred Figglehorn actually. Only Fred is more likable than Gomer. Tell me I didn't just say that?) She opens the book and shows WildCat the numbers and Wildcat is confused as hell over them. (Well; that explosion didn't do WildCat any favors when it comes to his brains.) Then we see Gomer enter asking why Clementine is even here, Clementine explains that she's here to get Khan up to speed on the mine and Gomer blows her off because she's spoiling his meal.

He closes the book as Gomer offers WildCat Khan a game of pool as we pan over to Wendell replacing the striped yellow/blue ball in the back with the EXPLOSION BALL OF DEATH. I should note Sunwoo's inability to realize that the eight ball at the left is not supposed to be red; but black. Then again; all the balls are screwed up so this is par for the course with Sunwoo. (Remind me to never book a billards spot in cartoons until CGI becomes a real thing because the hand drawn animation overseas is so wonky that it exposes the business big time.) WildCat no sells because he forgot his suit. Baloo whispers in his ear and WildCat calls billards to be divine. I guess it's divine billards and any dark colors would be EVIL~! That's the only way Sunwoo's screw up makes any sense whatsoever. WildCat grabs Clementine and they go to the billards table as Gomer bails out to clean his teeth which is actually a convincing excuse. Gomer don't need no cravities in this town, no siree! (There was no dentist shop set up; so he was clearly lying. To be fair; his excuse is believable since he has a fetish for clean teeth it seems; although he would abandoned the gimmick later on.) We see Gomer running to the left side as Wendell watches on from the window as Gomer admits that keeping Clementine in the dark from discovering the stolen Ugotium was a real pain in the ass. We then see WildCat with his billard stick humming as Sunwoo messes up the striking billard ball as it's black/grey instead of white. He uses the cleaner on the back end of the billard stick as Clementine thinks Khan is not ruthless and WildCat proclaims breathlessly that he's been sick. I wonder if Pat Fraley had a cold when he said that because he sounded weird saying that. (This had to be ab-libbed since WildCat sounds fine in the rest of the episode.) WildCat Khan uses the back end of the stick to point at the striking ball, nails the black ball as all the balls get cracked out and somehow the explosion ball stays in the center of the billard table without anything touching it at all, much to the panic of Wendell and Gomer. Well; that was a clean sweep. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Worse; none of the balls were animated to go into the holes; they just went in directions and then disappeared. This was Chargeman Ken-level hideously hilarious awful here.)

WildCat is unhappy because he missed one as Gomer and Wendell duck again as WildCat does his pointing and we see that the billard balls landed in Kit's glass of water and the soup bowl. HAHA! Finally; something funny and we are ten minutes into this thing. On the other hand; the episode has been okay outside of some bad animation and one insipid scene. (Actually; this episode is chugging along as well as it should be as the heels have a lot of heat on their shoulders now.) Baloo wants WildCat Khan to show the SeaDuck to Clementine and WildCat agrees to it as we go outside as Wendell and Gomer somehow teleported to the window next to the door. That's logic break number three for the episode as they both have their fingers in their ears. (This is no logic break 2010 me since they both went to the window clear as day. The door was animated wrong on the far shot; but the door was always there and the two heels were at the window. Sure; some of their positioning was wonky on some shots; but the point was perfectly fine.) The babyfaces all walk out as Kit notices Wendell and Gomer and wonders why they are there. Baloo doesn't care as long as they don't do it to him and they bail stage right. This would have worked better if the SeaDuck was behind the saloon and they walked all the way to the back which would have eliminated the obvious logic break. (No, because there was no logic break to start with.) Wendell opens his eyes and realizes that the babyfaces are gone. NO?! REALLY?! Gomer swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE ("Dadburn it!" Heh. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Wow, that might explain the "Dad Of War" crack for God Of War. Or maybe not.)) as we see on the billard table that the black ball has changed to red. Wendell walks in and we get the second explosion of the episode as Wendell gets smoke blown in his face. THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND SUNWOO ANIMATED EPISODES~! Needless to say; Wendell is a coyote roman candle right now. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wendell drops on his belly as Gomer is flustered as Wendell would fetch a fork in a rainstorm. HAHA! (The gag is that Wendell knows walking in to grab the stone is stupid; but Gomer is in charge so he has to go in and get blown up. Wendell isn't incompentent; he's just following orders, which is really stupid on his part, but what can he do?) We head to the SeaDuck as we see that it's a beaver furry looking like Wendell doing the engines. Wow; I'm wrong again so there you go. (Geez; how could you get this wrong when Wendell was all around the last couple of scenes. 2010 me is dumb!) Needless to say; someone grabs him, takes him down and probably won't be seen again in this episode or series. (Yup; we never saw him again. He was kidnapped by the mole furry as the arm was grey when he was kidnapped. We never saw the mechanic tied up nor gagged anywhere. He was written out by teleport basically.) We see WildCat Khan, Baloo, Kit and Clementine walk to the SeaDuck as Baloo wonders where the beaver furry went. WildCat Khan climbs the ladder to the engine as Clementine wonders if there is anything he cannot do and Baloo sarcastically states finding his head with both hands. WildCat then is seen reading a comic book as Baloo asks for a status on the situation and WildCat claims that he read that comic already. HAHA! Baloo corrects himself and WildCat calls it easy as pie as Baloo tells WildCat Khan to fix the engine while they entertain Gomer and Wendell as he climbs down. WildCat Khan asks Clementine for some bubble gum of course as we go to another shot of the SeaDuck from the front. We see WildCat Khan fixing the engine as Clementine praises him for his work. WildCat Khan proclaims that he draws the line at eating brussel spots. Then here comes the giraffe miner (with goofy red cap) and his mole miner along with the French poodle miner with slingshots of exploding balls on full blast as brussel sprouts are the least of his problems. That ends the segment eleven and a half minutes in. Okay episode thus far; but Sunwoo animating is pretty bad here. (So far; this episode has been chugging along well, minus the usual Sunwoo animation botchery.)

After the commercial break; we head to Boomstone AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the wolves are howling. Then we head to the mine as the giraffe miner has WildCat tied up to a stone like stake, Clementine is grabbed by the mole and dog miner. Actually; a second miner does have a voice; but I cannot tell which one. (I believe it was the mole miner who spoke here, but don't take it as gospel until we get the evidence from Tim.) Clementine proclaims that this is a mistake while struggling but giraffe miner doesn't bite because WildCat Khan has been enslaving and straving miners to get fat off. WildCat Khan admits that he has been gaining a few pounds recently. Clementine asks what they are going to do to him; and giraffe miner proclaims that it's not what they are going to do; it's what she is going to do. We go outside near that telephone booth as there is a hayball rolling around. We pan over to the courthouse as Baloo looks out of the window and is upset that Wildcat Khan is lost in a town that is only a block long. Kit is sitting down on a chair next to a table as we see Gomer sitting with his feet on the desk picking his teeth with a toothpick just to annoy me. See; WildCat wanted to get lost because Clementine is a whole lot of woman. (So yes; Gomer is a sexist pig and that is quite literal.) Baloo paces around and here comes Clementine running in, whom is in tears because the miners kidnapped Mr. Khan, you see. She invokes the ransom note as Baloo and Gomer tear a piece. The note basically demands to liberate them from the mine and safe passage home in the SeaDuck; or WildCat Khan's dead. Baloo proclaims that they got enough room and tries to run outside as Gomer blocks the exit. No one is going anywhere, Baloo tries him and gets four rifles in his kisser for his troubles. That shot was cut out on Disney Channel which made the whole point weak. Like we are going to buy that Baloo gave up that easily. Even worse; one of the guns when Baloo says whatever he says is still in the frame thus making the point of eleminating the guns pointless. (I didn't see that, so I guess Toon Disney did a better job editing than Disney Channel did. I don't know.)

Unless it was to eliminate the fact that their were four guns in the scene when there should be only two. (Here is what Toon Disney cut out: Four rifles appear and two of them touch's Baloo's face. Gomer says: Says me! Baloo: Whatever you says! Everything else is kept. The edit weakens the threat; but Toon Disney had to cut out the rifles because two of them touched Baloo in the face. Why they needed FOUR rifles is a mystery to me since only two of them were touching Baloo. Worse; those were hunting rifles and they somehow change to pistols on the next sequence of shots and none of those are cut. So censorship also lopped out the logic break.) Clementine proclaims that they have to rescue Mr. Khan as Gomer and Wendell with guns pointing backs up the babyfaces because he won't succumb to the demands of the hooligans. I betcha this scene wasn't cut by Disney Channel. (It wasn't since the pisol were too far away to cut.) Gomer then grabs Clementine and forces her out of the court house trying to hide up the fact that she has been through a horrible experience; but the slimely voice isn't working all that well. He closes the doors as Clementine blows him off and storms off stage right. We then have Gomer and Wendell off-screen shoving Kit and Baloo into the wall of a jail cell as they take some decent bumps into the wall as Wendell locks the door and proclaims that once the miners kill WildCat Khan; they'll escape with the Urgonium in their bull riders. We then cut to a telephone booth which has an "Out Of Order" wooden sign on top. Clementine turns the phone and realizes that Gomer was lying about the phone being busted. I believe that was mentioned in the court scene; but damn it to hell if I'm going to watch that insipid scene ever again. (It was and that scene makes me hate Gomer. Which in reality; you should be hating Gomer since he was booked as such.) Clementine hopes someone to pick it up as we pan up from a far shot of the phone booth into the moon light as we hear a phone ringing. We then hear Khan's voice as the moon pan shot segues into Khan's office on the pan shot as Khan blows off his own mandated sixteen hour workdays.

Khan picks up the phone and Clementine whisper yells to him that she needs to speak to someone because it's a matter of life and death for Mr. Khan (Death reference number one for the episode). (I don't understand why Clementine would bother to whisper anyway. I get that she's trying to not let Gomer on that she knows Gomer is lying; but it doesn't matter because Gomer spotted her anyway.) Khan is amused by this as Clementine tells him that the miners in his Boomstone silver mine have snatched him. The design of a sambro on the telephone booth is downright halirious as Khan is quite amused by his own "kidnapping" so to speak. Clementine tells him to bring help before it's too late and here comes Gomer with his GROSTESQUE SHADOW OF DEATH. (His policing is downright grostesque and I suggest that Sheriff Joe is gonna blame this show for his replusive behavior the second he is out of office for good.) Gomer grabs her gently and walks her to her room -- complete with iron key -- as she will not be disturbed until the business with Khan is finished. We then cut to Khan putting the telephone down and decides to investigate his untimely abduction. We head with a window shot of Clementine trying to get the door open from her room but no dice. Well; this is weaker than the nephews getting the room in Duck In The Iron Mask; so Chris Barat can take some solace in the fact that the nephews getting that spot is better than THIS one. (Why not just throw Clementine in jail with Baloo and Kit? It's not like Clementine is not onto him anyway. Either Gomer is an idiot; or BS&P doesn't want Clementine to face death by Urgonium by the cretins (her words, not mine. My words would be scoiopathic bastards.). Sigh.) Clementine swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (that darn sheriff) as she proclaims that Khan shouldn't have trusted them. (Geez; you don't say?!) She does have a point there as then she goes to the window and sees Gomer and Wendell on a look off in front of the courthouse with their slingshots because they plan to take the miners out if they open the door. Huh? Does that make any sense whatsoever? Unless they plan to kill Baloo and Kit...Oh wait; that's what they are doing.

It makes sense now as they expect Baloo and Kit to escape. (As we saw in the scene when Baloo and Kit are in the jail, Wendell left the keys in the door. The problem is; he still acted as if he locked the door. There's a logic break there 2010 me.) Wendell tells Gomer that they did exactly what he asked him to do as Gomer has the Urgonium as this will be an accident. Riiiiggggghhhhtttt. Anyhow; we pan over to Baloo trying to push the iron bars together as the key is STILL in the prison cell door; but no dice. Nice bumping from Baloo as Kit wants his turn as we go to a window as Clementine tries the old bed sheet rope trick from Fluppy Dogs. OH NO! NOT THE BEDSHEET ROPE SPOT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! (2010 Kit Cloudkicker Says: You've been reading the Agonybooth again; haven't you?!) Needless to say; the rope untangles, rips, Clementine takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the window cover and then another really good bump on her back into the water stall. OUCH! So much for the movies because her landing would have been softer at this point if she was in one. Clementine gets out and she got her bath in. Good for her; she is the most over character in the episode by default now. (2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Okay; here's an interesting moment. Apparently; one of my viewers from Live Journal has claimed that the first run syndication of this episode has Clementine's line changed. Here are the differences in the lines:

Clementine (First Run Syndication): "Well, a girl's gotta take a bath every once in a while."
Clementine (DVD/Second Run Syndication Version): "After her bath, a girl's ready for anything."

The mouthflaps are out of sync slightly with the second run version, so something happened in between the first run and the second run. I believe the first run version might have been seen as slightly sexist because it implied that women don't take baths every day, which is kind of dumb because the second run version implies that women need a bath in order to be ready for anything. Neither line makes them look good. Why not just have her say: "After that bath, I'm ready for anything now." It's the same line; only it refers to Clementine and not a group of women. I'm just saying. Even the first run line could have been kept by changing "a girl's" to just "I". No meaning is lost from the line either way, so why change the first run line? Just odd.) Oh lord, we return to the prison cell as Kit tries his squeeze play with his head; but the bars are too small for him to get through. Yeah; this is the point where Kit was slowly being buried after the Plunder and Lightning movie. (This had to be no fun at all for Kit.) He gets stuck as Baloo pulls on his body and Kit's acting is awesome here. YOU CANNOT BURY KIT CLOUDKICKER, MICHAEL EISNER~! You'll have to cancel the show and rip the fans hearts out to do that. Oh wait; he did that. Damn. (That was pretty much the gist of it, although in the end it didn't matter since Disney had no interest of making TaleSpin anything but a "one and done" show.) We then head to the lookoff tower shot as Gomer tells Wendell to go down there and see what is the matter. Don't you just love it when the babyface's stupidity of not noticing the key in the door is actually a good thing? (Wendell is clearly stammering here; so he knows he's going to be a roman candle again very soon, but orders are orders after all.) Baloo finally pulls Kit out and they take a MAN-SIZED bump into the wall and Baloo misses the target by a head. Sigh, Sunwoo. Kit asks what now as Baloo proclaims that he tried everything. Then he leans on the cell door and it opens and Baloo takes an off-screen MAN-SIZED bump into the floor. HAHA! Can't fault them for not being wizs; that's for sure. Baloo wants to vanmoose as we see Baloo and Kit run to the door. Gomer calls the male babyfaces slower than Wendell as the door slightly opens ajar and that's the signal for the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time FPS shot of the slingshot at the slightly open door. Gomer wants them to come to papa (EWWWW! GET HIM AWAY! GET HIM AWAY!) and that ends the segment sisxteen minutes in. Much better segment overall. (Actually; this episode rules now. Gomer's actions as a heel are made to make you hate Gomer and it's working to perfection. I hate 2010 me's review of this; this episode is so much better now seeing it a third time and getting Gomer's facist tendences.)

After the commercial break; we see Kit and Baloo at the door as Baloo opens the door; but Clementine stops them by going through the back door (From where the judge's desk is.) and she's soaking wet still. She also lost her cowboy hat I see. (I believe she gets it back when they run to the mines.) Baloo is surprised at this and Clementine tells him to never mind. Baloo, Kit and Clementine exit through the back door just as Wendell goes through the right side door. Wait; there's a SIDE door in this courthouse? (Yes, yes there is.) Wendell proclaims that he needs to tell the shrieff and instead of going through the same door he entered; I betcha he goes through the front door, gets blasted by an explosion ball and does his black body routine. I check the DVD... Damn; I'm so good. What; no candle flame hat? That's awfully sloppy of you Wendell. (Wendell is so freaking stupid that it's funny. Even funnier; only in this show I could believe the singer in the song "I Shot the Sheriff" didn't shoot the deputy. How could he? The sheriff keeps shooting the deputy because Gomer is a stupid tyrant!) Gomer blows him off for that gaffe. HAHA! We get a front shot of town as we see the shadows in the background running towards the mine as Gomer climbs down the ladder on the pan shot and notices the obvious. Gomer and Wendell (who shook off the ashes off-screen, I see) bail stage left as we head to the side shot of the mine as Clementine, Kit and Baloo run towards the mine enterance to the rescue of Wildcat Khan. Baloo then wants to tell her the truth about Mr. Khan as we get a scene changer with Clementine is SHOCKED and not exactly amused by the fact that he was what he didn't expect. (Clementine, of course later on forgave WildCat cart blanche for this, so there you go.) Baloo hopes that the miners aren't too rough on WildCat as Kit notices that Gomer and Wendell have caught up to them. Clementine, Kit and Baloo run into the mine as Gomer stops and Wendell wonders why. Gomer proclaims that they aren't coming out as we see Baloo and company run deeper into the mine and stop to rest as Baloo thinks that they are up to something. We see Wendell invokes the slingshot, the explosion ball hits the wall and the mine entrance caves in. Nice little touch to go about ten feet into the mine before doing it to hide the evidence, eh?

Clementine gasps in horror at the cave in as Baloo proclaims that they need to find another way out. Then we hear the giraffe voice proclaims that there is no way out as we pan over to WildCat tied up, the babyfaces all shout his real name and the miners are shocked. WildCat is happy and giraffe miner admits that it probably wasn't Khan because:

Giraffe Miner: If brains was perfume; you couldn't smell him through a barb wire fence.

Now that was a neat insult! Baloo unties WildCat as Baloo proclaims that if they want to work over the real Khan; they have to get out of there. The giraffe miner proclaims that they are buried alive as WildCat walks over and asks for bubble gum while breaking some metal parts which Kit isn't so sure of this either. We head to a far shot of Boomstone WELL AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Sunrise) as Gomer and Wendell load up the sacks of Urgonium onto their wooden bull planes and are ready to head off into the sky. We get some wind blowing as we see Khan's plane land right in front of them, much to the shock of Gomer and Wendell. The side door opens and Khan comes out of the shadows as Wendell realizes that Wildcat Khan is a phony; much to the unamusement of Khan. Gomer shuts Wendell's mouth (BOO! HISS!) as he is surprised to see him. Gomer explains that they are dealing with an imposter and Khan knows about it. Gomer backs away when Khan asks for an arrangement to see his imposter. Gomer tries to explain; but the ground quakes and out comes the TUNNEL ARMOR OF MAKESHIFT DOOM from the ground. (I am so keeping that Final Fantasy VI reference!) Out of it comes WildCat cutting a cute promo, Baloo, Kit, and everyone else trapped in the mine. Khan isn't impressed, what a shock?! Gomer points to WildCat as the imposter and Mr. Khan thinks Gomer is an idiot (my word, not his). The miners confess that they found Urgonium and Mr. Khan is impressed because he's never heard of it. Gomer and Wendell are so BUSTED! Which means it's time for the old run away spot that all criminals do on Filmore. Gomer and Wendell get on one bull flyer and take off while Baloo agrees to take them on. (Wait; there was only one of those left? Did I miss a scene where the second one got destroyed or something?) Geez; can you guess who wins this one? Baloo, Kit and WildCat go into the SeaDuck as Clementine talks to Shere Khan. Mr. Khan delivers the an awesome promo just for my ranting heart:

Khan: My dear; I desire only money and power. Unpresentable employees provide me with neither.

As the bullfight in the sky commences with the SeaDuck flying around and get nailed by the explosion stone (four of them) as Baloo claims that they miss. That's some tight animation as Kit wonder how they are supposed to stop them. WildCat then decides to join the Krackpotkin plan with a plan as Gomer cuts another silly promo because it's like shooting tin cans with a scatter gun. Funny since only four guns were ever used in the scene. I guess the guns are for special days. Kit and WildCat go to the tail section and open up the KUMQUATS OF ROTTEN DEATH and the tail section door. Hey; it's no worse then using hot red pepper used by Kit in It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck. Kit gives Baloo the signal which would signify the HANS SOLO MOVE OF DISMEMBERMENT is coming. (Because Baloo is the Hans Solo of the show. Kit's the Luke Skywalker and WildCat is whomever the mechanic was in the Star Wars movies. I have zero idea otherwise.) The SeaDuck flies at a 45 degree angle in front of the bull flyers and Kit lets Gomer have it right between the eyes and WildCat misses completely. That's payback for the leg irons and WildCat actually praises him for a change. Usually; they ignore Kit's heroics. Why didn't Kit and WildCat get a full episode by themselves? Oh wait...Michael Eisner milking Baloo again; my mistake. (Yup.) Kit then gets the honor of killing the bull flyers with more of the KUMQUATS OF DEATH as one of them hit the propellers and killing it dead. Who needs Ugotium when fruit will do? Nice to see Kit getting the work once again. (Yes folks; Kit shot the sheriff, the deputy, the wings of the bull they were riding on and the bull's ass to boot. If he hit the groin area on the front of the bull; then Ghostbusters 2016 would have been dirty little theives. Oh, and that movie was all right, thank you.) Thank you Eric Lewald; this might be your best episode ever as the bull flyers stops to get WARNERED and goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!) and crashes into the desert with an explosion. How fitting indeed. I expect them to be alive even though it shows that they should be dead. (Actually; this is Eric Lewald's best ever episode in this series; but Eric was much more successful outside DTVA anyway. Also; Eric sort of missed the boat on the finish as the ending to the scene should be we zoom into the area where the bull plane crashed and we see Wendell is shaken up; but okay and Gomer is the roman candle and covered in ash and soot. You don't even need them to speak a word. The punchline to the "Wendell gets sooted" angle has to end with the sheriff getting it. Sadly; this gag was never properly paid off. Sigh.)

We go back to the Boom Stone mine entrance as Khan introduces Clementine as the new foreman. Works for me as I see the BS&P Logic Break Of Doom walk into the mine. (Which would have been lopped off if they paid off the gag I mentioned previously.) WildCat and Clementine exchange notes and apparently Clementine likes him even more than Mr. Khan. They shake hands as Baloo and Mr. Khan settle their difference by exchanging notes on the subterfuge. (Basically; Khan makes it up by refunding the rotten kumquats.) Baloo promised never to tell a soul and sadly that promise will be broken when Mr. Assange finds the proper documents once he settles his criminal issues with two women. Oh, come on! You knew that Wiki-leaks joke was coming a mile away! (Say what you want about him; he is a legend now and no government can take it away from him. Not for a lack of trying either.) Mr. Khan wants to thank WildCat as well and Kit tells him to take it up with Clementine as we see Clementine and WildCat hugging each other. I smell a marriage in their future. Clementine and WildCat kiss each other on the lips to finally end the episode at 21:20. (Outside of a cameo in Sheepskin Deep; we will never see Clementine Clevenger ever again. The story of a great idea that was rushed because Eisner didn't care about making new stars.) Lots of Sunwoo mistakes, a few logic breaks and one insipid scene hurt this episode a lot; but WildCat, Wendell and Clementine carried it like mad. Also, Kit got his payback too at least for said insipid scene so there is not much to complain about. (This is the most improved episode of the series since I reviewed this series for a third time. There were a number of Sunwoo mistakes; mostly in the billards scene and a few gags that went nowhere; but everything else about this episode was done as it should have been. The insipid scene wasn't funny; but you were supposed to hate Gomer and Wendell for abusing their power and being digusting little assholes along the way. Clementine was great and WildCat was really good in his role. I give this **** 1/2 (90%); and the best rebound of the series to date. I don't think it's the best episode of the series; but it's really great and anyone who loves TaleSpin should check out this episode out again. So ignore 2010 Me's rating on this.)

THE REVIEW LINE

This was basically two different episodes in one twenty two minute span and it started becoming different after only five minutes have aired. The first five minutes reminded me of why I didn't like this episode at all as the courthouse scene was contrived and seeing Kit in leg irons was painful to watch. It also hurt Clementine's character a little bit and Wendell's character a lot because of this. It didn't hurt Gomer's character because it wasn't all that special to begin with anyway. Let me put it to you in this way: The Thembrian People's Court was funny because of the Thembrian way of doing things. This is not. (That's fair; but Gomer's courthouse scene was not for comedy. It was designed to make us hate Gomer and Wendell. Which is exactly how it was booked because Gomer is supposed to be an irreedemable heel anyway.) However; after five minutes have aired; the episode does what almost all bad TaleSpin episodes do: It redeemed itself as Wendell played the poor heel that gets charred by Gomer's stupidity and Clementine shines as yet another excellent female (cowgirl) with her relationship with WildCat. It also helped the plot line as WildCat is supposed to be Mr. Khan and seeing WildCat try to play a role that he clearly cannot play was pretty funny. Sadly; Kit Cloudkicker wasn't able to do almost all his spots as the writers have him almost fail every time, except at the end with WildCat and Kit defeating Gomer and Wendell once and for all which was a good payback for him. Sunwoo's animation mistakes were peppered in this episode and a few gaping logic breaks. In the end this was a decent middling episode that could have been better if it wasn't for one scene that knocked the wind out of the sails. And really for Eric Lewald; he did all right outside of one bad scene which is good because he can be much worse than this most of the time. (I hate you 2010 me! What we really have here is a great episode that had a really meaty pilot and most of it was well thought out (With the exception of the billards scene and the end of the second to last scene with the bull plane crashing and the former was mostly Sunwoo's fault.) with some great performances and Kit got to shoot the sheriff and the deputy in one fell swoop. It was great, actually.) Next up is Gruel & Unusual Punishment and hopefully my emergency monitor (Which I have had since 1995; so it's 15 years old already...) holds up since my six year old monitor finally bit the dust about six minutes into the episode. (Oh, I forgot about that incident which was mostly 2010 me's fault too. Flatscreens are awesome and are easier to lift too. So the next transcripts are the final two episodes: Last Horizons and Flying Dupes.) So...

Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.

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