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Jumping the Guns Transcript
Written: 08/03/2015
Updated:
11/16/2021
Act I
Scene I
(Shot of the opening entrance to Cape Suzette. Several sail gliders are present as a "cruise ship" is sailing towards the entrance. The ship horn blows as we cut to the front deck with Dumptruck, Mad Dog, Sadie, and others. Mad Dog is wearing a blue dress and a blond wig; while Sadie is wearing a candy cane dress with inflated breasts. )
Sadie: Pass the tanning butter. (Mad Dog dips his hand on the tanning butter jar on the table and flicks it into Sadie's face.)
Dumptruck: (Wearing a pink dress with orange hair wig sitting on a lounge chair.) Heyme, I'm embarrassed.
Unnamed Pirate: (Wearing a green sweater, blue pants, purple orange shirt and brown feminine styled hair with a yellow bow on the lawn chair freezing.) And I'm chilly.
Dumptruck: Can we put our coats on, Captain? (Don Karnage is wearing a cruise liner uniform with light blue pants standing on deck out of nowhere.)
Don Karnage: What? And ruin our perfect cover? I am in disguise! You are in disguise! The Iron Vulture is in disguise! Life is beautiful! (Don walks around on deck.) Within moments, my love boat will sail right under those Cape Suzette guns. (Then a small boat with a marine shaggy dog sailor with warning flags approaches from the left side and honks a horn.) See how convincing you are, ladies? You have caught the attention of a handsome, young sailor. (All the pirates wave to him including a cat furry (Hal) with a red hair wig, an orange scarf and a green dress with yellow spots on the dress.)
Unnamed Pirate: Umm, maybe he's trying to say something, Captain.
Don Karnage: Nonsense. What could he possibly be trying to telling us? (The "cruise ship" hits a large rock underwater and the entire wooden frame covering the Iron Vulture completely crumbles, exposing the Iron Vulture. Only the deck remains as the Cliff Guns fire their cannons.) Uh-oh. Retreat! (The engines and propellers start up as the Iron Vulture turns around and retreats stage right.)
Dumptruck: Now can we put our coats on, Captain?
Scene II
(Shot of inside the wheelhouse of the Iron Vulture as Don Karnage is looking at the Cliff Guns from a distance from the windshield.)
Don Karnage: Ha ha! Those Cape Suzette gunners can only shoot what they can see. (In the background, we see Dumptruck with a wheelbarrow of cans of transparent paint. Cut to a shot of Mad Dog, Hal and Sadie painting the entire Iron Vulture sky blue.) They will not spot us until it is too late. For we are the color of...invisible! Ha ha! (The Iron Vulture flies into a storm cloud.) Today, Cape Suzette! Tomorrow, the world, eh? (Flash of light and a thunderclap crashes. Then it begins to rain; causing all the wet paint to be completely washed off. The Cliff Guns fire their cannons and the Iron Vulture turns around and leaves stage right.) Retreat!
Scene III
(Morning arises as a plane flies through the entrance to Cape Suzette without any problems. Then one stray "storm cloud" approaches the entrance.)
Don Karnage: Not only am I a genius; but I am very smart, too. (Cut to the Iron Vulture creating smoke clouds from holes in the Iron Vulture.) For this time, I have come prepared for bad weather. Hee hee hee. (Cut to inside the wheelhouse looking from the periscope.) At last, I will sail into Cape Suzette, right behind the noses of those silly gunner-type persons. (In the background, Dumptruck and Mad Dog are polishing their swords while Hal is polishing a pistol. Cut to the Cliff Gun area as a pelcan and a bear furry wearing green uniforms and hats are sitting at a wooden table on footstools playing checkers. )
Cliff Gun Officer #1 (Pelcan): Nice day for a rain cloud, don't you think?
Cliff Gun Officer #2 (Mammal): Looks like a cumulus piraticus to me.
Cliff Gun Officer #1: When is that Don Karnage character gonna learn he can't get past us? (Both officers bail as Cliff Gun Officer #1 returns with a missile and cheats at checkers.) Remember when he dressed up that Iron Vulture of his like a Broccoli Day parade float? Hoo hoo.
Cliff Gun Officer #2: Hee hee! Big Bertha here sure steamed his stems. (#1 comes over to the Cliff Gun cannon and loads the gun with the missile while #2 gets to fire the cannon as they adjust the cannon to target straight at the "storm cloud". Cut back to the wheelhouse with Don Karnage at the wheel.)
Don Karnage: Today, Cape Suzette! Tomorrow...aah! (The alarms blare with red lights and sounds as Don falls on his belly. In the background, Mad Dog, Dumptruck and Hal are controlling levers and buttons for the cloud making machine.) Tomorrow's another day. Retreat! ( The cannons fire on the Iron Vulture as the Iron Vulture turns around and retreats stage right.) I hate those gunner corps with passion fruit! Hoo, hoo. (In comes the SeaDuck in the opposite direction.)
Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: Ha ha. Better luck next time, Karnage. (Cut to the Cliff Gun Officers loading up the cannons again.)
Cliff Gun Officer #2: Hold your fire. That plane's packing our lunch! (Both officers bail stage left as we cut to the cockpit of the SeaDuck.)
Baloo: Eh, delivering sandwiches for Louie can sure be a pain. (Baloo pushes switches and levers to release the wheels as the entire airstrip is complex and looks awkward. Baloo lands on the wooden strip which takes him on a wild ride before landing on a rocky ledge just in front of the exit wooden ramp.) Whew! (Baloo is sweating and taking his cap off in relief.) That runway's got more bounce than my paycheck. (He scratches his behind as well as we cut to Officer #1 with the green step ladder and places it at the side door of the SeaDuck as the engines are still running.)
Cliff Gun Officer #1: An amazing landing as usual, Baloo. (CGO#1 climbs up and opens the side door.)
Baloo: Well, it was nothing. I did it with my eyes shut. (CGO #1 takes out two baskets and closes the side door. CGO#1 climbs down.) And my teeth clenched. (CGO #1 goes over and gives CGO #2 a picnic basket. CGO #2 puts the basket on the steel catapult.)
Cliff Gun Officer #2: Hey, gang! Feeding time! (The picnic basket gets catapulted over to two furry on the other ledge. They grab it and wave back.)
Baloo: (Waves.) Well, aidos. Enjoy your meal. Have a nice weekend. Hope I don't have to make that landing again today. (Baloo pushes on some switches on the ceiling. The SeaDuck flies down the wooden ramp and goes up into the sky. COG #1 is taking out the lunches as COG#2 waves at him near their table. COG#2 then remembers something and heads to their big radio on the rocks. COG #2 grabs the transmitter and radios to the SeaDuck.)
Cliff Gun Officer #2: Oh, Baloo? I almost forgot to remind you.
Baloo: Doggone it! (Cut to the Iron Vulture floor with a jury rigged radio being shown.)
Cliff Gun Officer #2: Remember to come back for our two o'clock meeting. (Disney Captions had it as "feeding". Don Karnage uses his cutlass to flip the switch off.)
Don Karnage: Perhaps I will be back...(Cut to inside the wheelhouse with Mad Dog, Dumptruck and Hal.) for my two o'clock plundering! (Don goes over to the window and uses the telescope to target the SeaDuck flying around.) And that will be my ticket in!
Scene IV
(Shot of the SeaDuck already landed at the docks of that island of the South Seas, Louie's. Baloo enters into Louie's kitchen.)
Louie L'Amour: Oh, welcome back, Baloo baby. (Cut to Louie at the kitchen table making sandwiches with his hands and feet in midair.) ♪ Hey! We got a pickle, gonna put it in the middle, gotta...♪ (Both Baloo and Louie hum a tune as Baloo tries to take a sandwich from the sandwich pile; but his hand gets smacked down by Louie with the spatula.) Whine! If my catering biz is gonna keep buzzing, cousin; I can't let you eat up all the profits. (Louie is throwing international objects perfectly onto the racks on the wall. Louie then has picnic baskets as he wraps the sandwiches in them. Baloo licks his chops and rubs his belly.) Besides, I already packed you a snack. (Baloo goes over to the window where two giant picnic baskets are placed on the floor.)
Baloo: Hey, haha; what more could a fellow want out of life? (Baloo sits down on a footstool nearby as he grabs one of the baskets and puts on a white bib. The SeaDuck is clearly shown outside the window.) I got my food. I got my health, and I got my plane. (Several grappling hooks grab the SeaDuck and spirited it away from the docks. Baloo turns around and notices his SeaDuck is gone.) The Duck! Where's my SeaDuck?! (Cut to the skies with the SeaDuck being towed by Mad Dog, Dumptruck and Hal in their CT-37's. Cut to a shot of the docks as the CT-37's fly away stage right with the SeaDuck.) I've been robbed! (Louie comes out to the docks.) Ah-ho! There she goes, Louie! I gotta catch her! (Louie restrains Baloo.)
Louie: In what, cuz? You were my only plane. Ah..hey, wait a minute. (Louie and Baloo run around the front of the island as Louie is running to a shed.) Let me check the lost and found. (He opens the shed door to find a broken down plane under an almond cover. Louie unwraps the cover to reveal a makeshift plane filled with spiders and a mouse.) Arragh.
Baloo: That's the best you can do?
Louie: 'Fraid so, fuzzy. Some old coot left it here 'cause it wouldn't hold any oil. (Baloo ponders it over.)
Baloo: Louie, with your help, this jalopy's gonna fly.
Scene V
(Cut to inside Pirate Island with the Iron Vulture on the shore along with the SeaDuck. Zoom into the where the SeaDuck is docked as Don Karnage, Mad Dog, Dumptruck and Hal are walking to the SeaDuck.)
Don Karnage: This plan is foolproof! Which is the reason why I am allowing you fools to handle it. (Don Karnage takes out his sword and uses it to bonk his pirates on the head twice each on screen.) To your places gentlemen! {The pirates are confused.} To your places idiots! {The pirates smile and finally walk into the SeaDuck.}
Mad Dog: So, we fool the gun guys into thinking we're the sandwich man.
Dumptruck: Yeah. And then we take over the big gun. (Dumptruck pushes on Mad Dog's head to prevent him from entering the SeaDuck.)
Hal: And when the Iron Vulture shows up, we wave you right into the Cape. (Hal literally steps on Mad Dog's head and body to get inside the SeaDuck.)
Don Karnage: For fifty-seven varieties of plundering and pillaging! (Don Karnage punts Mad Dog into the SeaDuck for fun.) Hee hee. Be hasty with you. My mouth is beginning to water! And do not disappoint me. (Don points his sword straight at Mad Dog's nose. So the SeaDuck flies out of Pirate Island.)
Scene VI
(Close up shot on the jalopy plane with cans of oil in a box as Louie is humming his usual Jungle Book-equse scat chant. Louie takes one can of oil and opening it with a juice can opener. Louie then pours the oil into a steel funnel into the engine as some oil flies out.)
Louie: Hey, hey. Keeping this baby oiled is a breeze. (Louie is in the front while Baloo is in the back getting oil splatted in his face.)
Baloo: Yech! Breeze? It's a deluge. There she is! (Baloo is wearing a parachute as he notices the SeaDuck approaching them; but the SeaDuck is igorning the plane and heading towards Cape Suzette.) It's heading back to Cape Suzette. Lousy bunch of joyriders! Hang on, Louie. We're going Duck hunting. (Baloo turns the jalopy around near Pirate Island and flies away.)
Scene VII
(Cut to the Cliff Guns as CGO #1 and #2 are at a table playing checkers again. The SeaDuck is approaching them, although it's flying rather recklessly this time around.)
Cliff Gun Officer #1: (CGO #2 is looking while CGO#1 cheats on checkers again.) Here comes Baloo. Right on time. (Cut to inside the cockpit as Mad Dog is piloting the plane in front of a dummy of Baloo made of a sleeping bag, nuts, bolts, a sock, Baloo's flight cap, a parachute and other stuff. Dumptruck and Hal are behind the chairs. CGO #2 is putting on an checked bib on as the SeaDuck lands on the landing strip and spins around like crazy, flies behind and bounces about a dozen times before resting in front of the exit ramp with sparks flying. CGO#1 brings the ladder and places it on the side door as CGO#2 runs with #1.)
Cliff Gun Officer #2: What's with the landing, Baloo?
Cliff Gun Officer #1: Whoa, buddy! You losing your touch? (CGO #1 climbs the ladder and opens the side door. CGO #1 grabs the picnic basket and opens it. The picnic basket hisses as orange smoke comes out and engulfs the breathing of both CGO's.)
Cliff Gun Officer #2: (Gasping.) Oh, no! (Coughing.) The mayonnaise went bad. (Both officers fall onto the ground knocked out. Hal comes out from the side door with a gas mask on. He climbs down the ladder.)
Hal: The mayonnaise didn't go bad, we did! (Take off the mask. Dumptruck comes out of the plane and goes over to the steel catapult with the picnic basket.)
Dumptruck: Oh, they'll love today's lunch special. (Dumptruck uses the catapult and slingshots the picnic basket to the two furries on the other side.) Stink bomb, heavy on the mustard gas. (The furries get hit and lots of yellow smoke engulfs them.)
Scene VIII
(Cut to Mad Dog at the radio as Dumptruck and Hal are tying up both Cliff Gun Officers on the ground. Mad Dog clears his throat.)
Mad Dog: This is Woodchuck calling Peter Piper. Come in Peter Piper. {Dumptruck and Hal pick up the operators and take them behind a rock.}
Don Karnage: {Inside the radio room of the Iron Vulture.} This is Peter Piper. Have you pickled their peppers?
Mad Dog: Ah, we've chucked all the wood that a woodchuck chucks.
Don Karnage: (Inside the radio room as Hacksaw, who has gotten darker skin since A Bad Reflection On You and five other pirates are with Don.) They're in! Ha ha ha! It is time to steal seashells by the seashore. Ha ha. (Cut to the exit ramp on the Cliff Guns as we pan up to see the SeaDuck.)
Baloo: There's my baby, Louie. Let's go get her! (Louie keeps filling the japoly with oil as the plane lands on the strip and does flips and other dangerous stunts before finally landing about fifteen away from the SeaDuck. Baloo grunts.) All right! (Baloo is trying to take off his safety belt.) Who's the creep who stole my plane? Darn rusted old seatbelts. (Hal, Dumptruck and Mad Dog appear from the back of the SeaDuck.)
Hal: Us three creeps stole your plane.
Dumptruck: Yeah. Happy landing. (Baloo is in shock as the three pirates grab the left wing and push the jalopy over the edge and it free falls bouncing on some ledges causing Baloo and Louie to scream in a panic state. Louie stammers as the jalopy lands upside down in a tree like bush.)
Baloo: Louie, come on. Stop! You can stop now, we're okay. (Baloo shakes Louie's shoulders and Louie stops.)
Louie: Oh. Yeah. Ha heh. Good thing we wore our seatbelts, huh? (Then the seats themselves come apart and Baloo and Louie scream and free fall again. They bounce off more ledges as Baloo tries to pull his parachute; but the cord breaks off.)
Baloo: Good thing we wore our parachutes. (Louie pulls the cord on his parachute and the parachute comes out. Louie grumbles as Baloo holds onto Louie's ankles.) Uh-oh! Updraft. (Louie's parachute catches wind and rises up right in front of Hal, Mad Dog and Dumptruck who are watching on from the ledge.) Heh heh. Don't mind us.
Louie: Just passing through. (Hal unclips the parachute causing Baloo and Louie to free fall once again.)
Hal: So long! (All the pirates laugh in unison. Baloo and Louie slide down the mountain, hitting bushes and then busts through a green capony before falling on their belly and back in front of a makeshift cave with a pilot's door, curtains and colored boxes. Louie groans.)
Louie: Next time, I gotta remember to bring a trampoline. (Baloo grunts as he unpops the hat from over his eyes.)
Baloo: Next time, I gotta remember not to have a next time.
Gruffy Voice: Aw, shucks! You boys are doing this all wrong. (We cut to a large rock with a pig furry with a green officer hat, red shirt and jean overalls sitting on top of the rock, fishing in a bucket.) When you tumble like that, you're supposed to tuck your ankles and support your knees, like this. (The pig furry tucks his ankles and supports his knees as he rolls down like a bowling ball into his man cave causing international objects to go flying out of the cave after crashing. Baloo and Louie are shocked as the pig furry comes out with a lampshade on his head, coughing.) Of course, I never fell like that before myself, exactly. But I seen it done a million times. (A plunger is stuck on his rear end as the furry plucks it off his rear and throws it away.)
Baloo: Look, pal...
Barney O'Turret: O'Turret's my name. Barney O'Turret. (Louie finds a telescope on the ground and looks through it.) But my friends call me... (Baloo and Barney shake hands.) well, no; they only call me that when they're mad.
Baloo: Look, Barney; Pirates stole my plane and they've taken over the cliff guns.
Barney: What?! I worked those guns before I retired. No piratical types are gonna get past my cliffs!
Louie: Then you'd better do something quick, Barney; old buddy. 'Cause there's a rusty old Vulture headin' our way. (Louie sees through the telescope the Iron Vulture heading towards the Cliff Guns.)
End Of Act I At 9:53
Act II
Scene I
(Shot of the Iron Vulture flying towards the entrance to Cape Suzette. Cut to the Barney's area with Baloo looking from the telescope.)
Baloo: It's the Iron Vulture all right. We need a radio or something so we can notify the Coast Guard.
Barney: Well, old Barney will fix you right up. (Barney goes into his man cave and then comes out with hiking supplies and places them onto the ground.) Well, boys; let's go make that call. (He gives Baloo a grappling hook with rope.) Right up on that far ledge. ( We pan up the cliff about five hundred feet up.)
Baloo: You mean... (Gulps.)...we gotta climb up there? (Another shot of a narrow ledge.)
Scene II
(Cut to Louie and Baloo tied together like mountain climbers, climbing up the mountain. Louie helps up Baloo to the ledge and then they pull Barney up who is carrying all the supplies doing absolutely nothing. Barney gets flipped upside down.)
Baloo: You okay, Barney?
Barney: I'll get this climbing thing under control. Seen it done a million times. (Baloo is shocked.)
Baloo: You mean you've never climbed this cliff before?
Barney: Never had to call anyone before. (Baloo is not amused as he grunts while Louie grits his teeth.)
Scene III
(Cut to a wider shot of the cliff as Baloo and Louie climb the cliff some more with Barney literally in tow who is now climbing by himself this time.)
Baloo: How much more do we have to go?
Barney: (Straining.) Just up that next ledge. (Barney throws up a grappling hook; but misses and bonks Baloo on the head with it.) Oops, missed!
Baloo: OW! Here, let me try, pops! (Baloo grabs the grappling hook and throws it up to the ledge and pulls it to make it snug.)
Louie: Hey, nice roping, fuzzy. (We pan up to the ledge to see the grappling hook had snagged the horns of a white billy goat on the ledge.)
Baloo: No problem. (Baloo tugs on the rope and the goat pulls him up in response.) That problem! Problem! (Baloo is pulled up and hits a bush on the way up. The rope connected to Louie is snapped. The goat runs while Baloo slides on the ground and Baloo bonks into some rocks as the goat stops; turns around and swings the grappling hook off his horns. The grappling hook bonks off Baloo's head. Louie and Barney are shown climbing over the ledge.)
Barney: By the way, watch out for them mountain goats. They're real ornery. Well; there it is. (Barney points to a cliff which contains a phone booth connected to power wires.)
Baloo/Louie: A phone booth? (It's spelled telephone; but Engrish style as "tele phone".)
Barney: (Sets down his hiking gear.) You said you wanted a radio or something. This is "or something".
Baloo: I'll handle this! (Baloo walks over to the phone booth and manages to squeeze into the small booth. He grabs the phone and struggles.) Kind of a tight fit. (He finally puts the phone to his ear.) Hello, operator?! Pirates have taken over the cliff guns! Notify the Coast Guard! Hello?! Hello?!
Telephone Operator: Deposit five cents please. (Baloo grumbles.)
Baloo: Anyone got change for a dollar? (Baloo takes a dollar bill and puts it behind his neck as Barney takes out a nickel from his overalls.)
Barney: Here, I got a nickel.
Baloo: (Struggling in the booth still.) I'm lacking maneuverability. (Grunts.) Can you help me out, Barn? (Barney climbs on Baloo's back.)
Barney: Sure, no problem. I've seen this done a million times. Whoops! (Barney tries to put the nickel in the coin slot; but it drops onto the floor of the phone booth.)
Louie: I'll get it. (Louie runs over and gets underneath Baloo; but cannot reach the nickel.) Man, I can't see it. Move them size fourteens, Baloo.
Baloo: Where to? (Everyone grunts as Louie finally grabs the nickel underneath Barney and Baloo.)
Louie: Uh-oh. We got company coming, cuz. (The billy goat readys himself and charges at the phone booth. Louie closes his eyes as the billy goat tackles the phone booth and launches it in the air. It is crashing and then the goat is so smug as he walks off stage left. We see Louie grabbing onto the ledge for dear life.) You know, that goat's beginning to get my goat. (Louie has grabbed Baloo's legs and he pulls Baloo onto the ledge.)
Baloo: Where's the nickel? Where's the phone booth? Where's Barney?
Barney: I'm right here! (Baloo and Louie look down to see Barney hanging by the phone wire over a shattered glass phone booth on two separate ledges.) I got the nickel; but, the phone's dead!
Louie: You think the Coast Guard'll put the stoparoo on those pirates?
Baloo: Ah, you and me are the only two galoots in the world who knows those guns are gonna be silent today. (Disney Captions missed the galoots part.)
Louie: I guess it's up to us two galoots to fix that. (Disney Captions missed "two galoots" part.)
Barney: (Gets on top of the phone booth.) You boys keep going. I'll catch up.
Louie: Don't worry, Barney, old boy. We'll come back for you. I hope. (Baloo and Louie go over to the rope on the ground.)
Baloo: Okay, let's crack this mountain! (Baloo grabs the rope and throws the loop of it up and it is attached to something. Baloo tugs it to make it snug as Louie grabs onto the rope as well. They climb up.)
Scene IV
(Cut to the Cliff Guns area as Dumptruck and Mad Dog are grabbing missile shells and are setting them like bowling pins.)
Hal: (With a missile shell.) Ooh! Ooh! Watch this! Bomb bowling! (Hal rolls the missile down the ground as Mad Dog and Dumptruck scatter. It hits the missile shells and they all explode on contact. Rocks drops on the ground from the concussion of the explosion as the pirates all laugh it up.)
Mad Dog: I love this game!
Dumptruck: (With his hat off.) Hee hee. No, no; it's my turn. (Rocks bonk off his head as we cut to Louie swinging and moving on the ledges quickly. He climbs to a ledge with the rope attached to it and gets behind it.)
Louie: Hey! Ha ha ha. This mountain climbing ain't so bad. (Pan down to show Baloo hanging onto the rope about a hundred feet below Louie.)
Baloo: Yeah, except for the mountain part. (Grunting as he climbs up.) And the climbing. (A rock bounces off Baloo's head.) OW! And the falling rocks. (Louie hears more laughter and looks up.)
Louie: Sounds like we're real close. Climb this way. (Baloo climbs up.)
Scene V
(Cut to a shot of the Cliff Gun edge as the rope loop attaches itself to a rock. Louie and Baloo start climbing as Baloo manages to get a peek of the ledge.)
Mad Dog: You know, we gotta talk to the boss about a raise. We deserve one. (Baloo is looking at Mad Dog and Dumptruck talking to each other while Mad Dog picks up a picnic basket.)
Dumptruck: Yeah. We do all the looting, and he gets all the loot. It ain't fair. (Baloo pops down to Louie.)
Baloo: They're right above us.
Dumptruck: Why, I don't even own a lousy pair of boots. (Dumptruck goes over and crushes Baloo's hand with his foot . This forces Baloo to grunt and hold his mouth to prevent himself from screaming in pain.) Why, I'm tired of being stepped on! (Dumptruck stomps on Baloo's hand again causing Baloo to force up and scream.)
Baloo: YEEOW!
Dumptruck/Mad Dog: Huh? (Baloo is forced to let go and blow his cover. Baloo's leg somehow gets snagged around his right leg in the process.)
Dumptruck: Heh heh. Nice of you to drop by. (Hal comes in with a knife.)
Hal: Now drop dead! (Both he and Dumptruck laugh as Baloo and Louie look at each other.)
Baloo/Louie: Not again! (Hal cuts the rope and Baloo and Louie free fall towards the ocean.) Yaaaaahhhh!
End Of Act II At 14:52
Act III
Scene I
(Cut to Baloo and Louie free falling with Baloo holding the cut rope. Suddenly; a small green plane which is smoking comes up causing Baloo and Louie to hold onto the wings. Barney is in the plane piloting. )
Barney: Can I give you boys a lift?
Louie: We're sure glad to see you, Barney, old buddy.
Barney: Looky, somebody threw away a perfectly good aeroplane.
Baloo: Barney? You can fly?
Barney: No. But I seen it done a million times. (Baloo panics as the plane swoop up and knocks the pirates off their feet and hyperboles away from the cliffs.) Hey! H-h-ow do you steer these things?
Baloo: (Barney pushes some buttons.) Push the lever forward...gently. (Barney's plane goes upside down causing Baloo and Louie to free fall and then land in the plane. Mad Dog and Dumptruck fall off the edge as the plane continues to fly dangerously. Hal is hiding behind a rock. The plane whizs past him and crashes into the rock. Baloo and Louie bounce onto the ground along with Barney and the flight stick.)
Louie: (Shakes his head.) Whoo! That was some stunt, Barney. (Cut to the branch as Dumptruck is holding onto the branch while Mad Dog is holding by Dumptruck's left ankle.)
Mad Dog: Oh, I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning. (Cut to Hal watching from the rocks as Hal runs towards the SeaDuck in the background. Baloo runs to the ammo storage and finds no missile shells.)
Baloo: What happened to the ammo? (Louie notices some rope and three missile shells on the ground.)
Louie: Oh, looks like there are only three shells left.
Baloo: Aw, that ought to be enough for three big holes. (Disney Captions missed the "aw" part and used "the" instead of "that". Baloo then notices the SeaDuck engines have started and they begin to roar. Baloo starts chasing after the SeaDuck as it is moving.) Hey! My baby!
Louie: (Grabs the rope.) Here, Baloo! (Louie throws the rope; but the rope snags onto Louie's ankle as Baloo grabs the rope.)
Baloo: I'm going with my Duck. Barney, grab those shells. You know what to do. (Baloo loops the rope and swings it. The SeaDuck crashes through the exit ramp Baloo loops the rope to the tailsection side of the SeaDuck. Barney starts grabbing one of the shells.)
Barney: Yes, siree. Worked on that gun for fifty years. Polishing that barrel everyday.
Baloo: (Looking at Barney with the rope sliding out of his hands as Louie goes to Baloo.) You never fired it?
Barney: No, but I seen it done...
Baloo/Louie: Yeah, yeah. A million times. (Baloo and Louie get spirited away with the rope attached to the SeaDuck.)
Barney: Don't worry boys! I'll handle it! (I don't recall there being a bunker behind the cliff gun before unless the pirates built one. Baloo and Louie climb the rope jungle gym style until they make it to the tailsection of the SeaDuck. The SeaDuck is flying towards the Iron Vulture.)
Louie: You think old Barney can handle those guns? (Louie and Baloo crawl onto the back wing and advances towards the roof of the SeaDuck.)
Baloo: Well, he never climbed a mountain or flew a plane before.
Baloo/Louie: (They look at each other.) We're in big trouble.
Scene II
(Cut to inside the cockpit with Hal piloting the SeaDuck. He's on the transmitter and pushing buttons.)
Hal: Labor Day! Labor Day! No, no...Arbor Day! No, wait...umm...ummm..mayday! That's it! Mayday!
Don Karnage: (From the radio.) What do you want, you idiot?!
Hal: Open up, it's an emergency! (There is a knock on the SeaDuck door.) Hold on. Someone's at the door. (Hal puts the transmitter down and opens the naivgator's side door.) Who is it? (Baloo and Louie are on the roof of the SeaDuck right above him.)
Baloo: Repossession company.
Louie: We're here to collect. (Louie swings down and drop kicks Hal in the stomach. Hal hits the back wall with a thud and gets knocked out and looks dead. The SeaDuck is heading straight for the Iron Vulture as it's mouth opens. Baloo takes over the controls.)
Baloo: Whoops. We're too late. (The SeaDuck flies into the hanger of the Iron Vulture and lands on the steel floor. Don Karnage runs in angry.)
Don Karnage: What could you possibly come all the way back to ask me? (All the other Air Pirates run in to back Karnage up as Louie rolls down the windows.)
Louie: Can you open the hatch so we can vamoose?
Don Karnage: Sacrebleu cheese! Get them! (Don Karnage brings out his sword.)
Louie: I guess that's a no. Keep the engine running, cuz; I'll open the hatch. (Louie climbs onto the roof of the SeaDuck as the air pirates all hang onto the SeaDuck. Baloo starts punching an air pirate in the face who had a gun. A second air pirates hangs onto the left side of the SeaDuck. Louie gets onto the right wing and swings from a pipe to get onto the catwalk. Air Pirates are firing their guns at the SeaDuck. Cut to inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck.)
Baloo: Barney, old boy; don't let us down now. (An air pirate comes up at the window as Baloo panics and then does a nasty elbow into the pirate's face.)
Scene III
(Cut to outside as the Iron Vulture is heading towards the entrance to Cape Suzette. Pan down to Barney at the cliff gun as he loads a shell into the gun. He sits down in the metal chair and ponders his next step.)
Barney: All right. Now let's see here. This one raises the barrel. Yep, that's it. (Barney turns the handle on the gun to raise the barrel up. He then turns the back wheel to turn it around.) This one here must turn it back and...Yeah! (Barney goes over to the lever.) And this one...I bet this one fires it! (Barney pushes down the lever and the cannon fires causing Barney to literally fall out of his seat and splats onto the ground.) Oops. (The missile goes into the air; but misses by fifty feet and drops like a stone towards the ocean; but still explodes in mid-air. Cut back to Don Karnage in the hanger looking shocked. The SeaDuck keeps flying around.)
Don Karnage: Why are those three imbeciles making the gun go boom-boom? (Cut to Baloo flying the SeaDuck.)
Baloo: That's one. Come on, Barney; get something right, just this once. (The SeaDuck flies around as the pirates continue to fire their guns at everything as we cut to Louie swinging and dodging gun fire; while pushing levers.)
Louie: How about this one? No...(Chuckles as he pushes more levers and dodging gunfire as that lever is shot off.) But this one here could...Nope, nope. That ain't it! (Cut to the pirates shooting; but the SeaDuck almost buzzes them to make them stop firing. Louie goes over to the wheel and twists it as it's spews smoke into the air pirates' face. The SeaDuck flies around some more as we cut to Hal who has woken up and he has a wrench on his person. He gets up.)
Hal: Time to make Baloo...black and balue. (Baloo pulls the lever which triggers a trap door. Hal falls through it.)
Baloo: Some other time, champ. (Cut to a pirate shooting his gun. Don runs in and steals the gun from him.)
Don Karnage: Do I have to do everything myself around here?! (Don tries to fire the gun; but Hal lands on top of him and Don Karnage gets squashed.) Wahoo-id! (Louie swings down onto the ground floor and finally finds the lever to the hatch of the Iron Vulture. He grabs onto it and tries to push the lever down; but the pirates spot him and aim their guns right at Louie. Cocking gun sounds ensue.)
Louie: Eh-ah. I knew I should have read my horoscope this morning.
Baloo: (Cut to the cockpit.) Louie. (Baloo finally flies the SeaDuck around and lands the plane. Cut back to Hal as he tries to get off of Don Karnage.)
Don Karnage: What are you doing here? Where are the others?
Hal: They fell down.
Don Karnage: What?! Then who made the gun go boom-boom?!
Scene IV
(Cut to target shot of the Iron Vulture with Barney at the cliff gun.)
Barney: Let's see now. A little higher up. A little to the left. (Barney adjusts the target of the cliff gun.) There. That ought to do it. Now, I'll load the gun. (Barney bails and returns with a shell. He loads the gun and goes to the seat to notice that the Iron Vulture has moved out of range; although the target didn't move more than six inches.) Well doggone it! How can I hit something if it don't stand still? (Cut to inside the Iron Vulture as Baloo comes out of his SeaDuck mad. Somehow; there is a wooden ladder beside the Duck, which means absolutely nothing because Baloo jumped down from the SeaDuck.)
Baloo: Listen up, Karny! That first shot was a warning shot. (Baloo rolls his sleeves.) Release Louie and turn back or the next one will blow the beak right off this bird! (Baloo has Don Karnage by the coat and appears to be ready to slug Don Karnage, but a shell whistling sound is heard. Everyone scatters but Baloo, Don Karnage and Louie as the shell explodes and it misses everything as usual.)
Don Karnage: Ha! He is the worst shot I have ever heard in my life! (The air pirates return to surround Baloo and Louie with their guns as Don walks off.)
Baloo: It was worth a try.
Don Karnage: In mere moments, Cape Suzette shall be a bargain hunter's paradise! (Don points his sword at Baloo and Louie.) Free money! Free jewels! Free seafood dinners!
Scene V
(Cut to outside as the Iron Vulture is almost entering the entrance to Cape Suzette. Cut to the cliff gun as Barney comes in and loads the shell.)
Barney: My last shell. (Barney goes over to the chair and start cranking the wheel; but it suddenly gets stuck.) Oh, darn! It got stuck! (Barney stands up and kicks the wheel and that spins the wheel dozens and dozens of times as Barney falls out of his seat onto the ground again. The cliff gun is pointed straight up and it fires the final shell up into the air as it whizs past the Iron Vulture with ease.) Oh, shucks! (Cut back to Baloo, Louie and Don Karnage bracing for impact; but there is none to be had in the Iron Vulture.)
Louie: Shot three.
Baloo: Yeah. Barney blew it. (Cut to outside as the shell then starts falling down towards the Iron Vulture. Inside the Iron Vulture, Don Karnage unleashes his sword and puts it back into the holder.)
Don Karnage: Hee hee ha. Now I can truly say with confidence. Today, Cape Suzette. Tomorrow...(The missile goes right through the Iron Vulture ceiling and then through the floor. The sparks go flying in various directions, causing several areas to explode and be set on fire. Cut to outside the Iron Vulture as explosions are shown as Barney watches on.)
Barney: Well, blow my nose. I did it. (Cut to inside the Iron Vulture with smoke and red light and sirens ensuing.)
Baloo/Louie: He did it?
Don Karnage: Turn around the ship and run away with us! (Explosions abound as Don Karnage and Ratchet run away in various directions. Baloo and Louie run into the SeaDuck up the ladder. The SeaDuck is flown away as there is a fire in the hanger. The SeaDuck flies through the roof of the Iron Vulture and away from the airship. The Iron Vulture turns around and flies away with more and more explosions ensuing. Barney watches on as the Iron Vulture flies out of sight. The SeaDuck flies past him as Barney is jumping up and down and circling around laughing while Louie waves at him.)
Scene VI
(Cut to a sky shot of Louie's at sunset.)
Louie: Ahem! I propose a toast. (Cut to inside Louie's as Baloo, Louie and Barney are together at a table toasting on lemonade and limeade with orange slice on glass.) To us, three of the bravest mountain climbers I know.
Baloo: Yeah! Hear! Hear!
Barney: I'll drink to that! (They tap their glasses together and then they drink up.)
Baloo: Say, Barney? I've been meaning to ask you: You worked on those guns for fifty years but you never climbed a mountain. How'd you get to work in the morning?
Barney: Why, I took the elevator. (Baloo and Louie groan right on cue.)
End of Episode At 21:24
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