The Ransom Of The Red Chimp

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The Ransom Of The Red Chimp Re-Rant

Reviewed: 02/20/2011
Additional Commentary: 12/05/2021

If You Are Going To Bury Your Funny Heel; Call Aunt Louise!

Original Airdate: 02/21/1991 (Syndication), Episode #60 (TaleSpin Volume 3, Disc 1), Episode #60 (Production Order).

The Ransom Of The Red Chimp Notes
The Ransom Of The Red Chimp Transcript

Yeah; this episode is probably the episode that killed Don Karnage as a creditable heel just like Duke Igthorn was buried in Just A Tad Smarter. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: This would be the second episode in which the air order and production order match up!) However; the last time I ranted on this; this was one of the funniest episodes I ever saw in DTVA. (2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Considering that this episode had it's own title card and has a romance angle to it; I believe that this is supposed to be a Valentine's Day episode; but then it got delayed by a week and became just another regular episode. Anyhow; Don Karnage always brought the funny regardless if he was actually a threat or not. Considering that TaleSpin was never going to get a second season, burying Don Karnage as a creditable heel didn't do much damage in the grand scheme of things; although storyline wise, it did sort of taint their credibility. So the plot of this episode is: Louie has an aunt (actually his mother; but you cannot say mother on DTVA because SEX~!) who is a pilot who wins air races for a living. She pays Louie a visit which causes Louie to cower in fear because she's a party animal. She puts on a party; but her next air race was moved up to tomorrow (not at all since it was a trick by Louie to get rid of her) and one of the pilots has claimed that he is going to beat the crap out of her; causing her to get angry and leave. Meanwhile; Don is suntanning while his minions are bored. So Don suggests kidnapping a rich lady; which so happens to be the party animal. They kidnap her and make the biggest mistake of their lives, including recuriting Kit Cloudkicker as an Air Pirate. Anyhow; I once thought this episode was called "The Romance Of The Red Chimp"; which also makes sense even if it gave away the plot slightly less than the correct title. However; the episode title name is based on the title of "The Ransom Of The Red Chief", a O. Henry (real name: William Sydney Porter. O. Henry's pen name was probably due to the fact that he was charged with embezzlement for a while and found guilty of it. He would also be responsible for the phrase "banana republic" which was also used for Paradise Lost later on.) short story (written in 1910) that this episode stole from, including the finish which is one of the funniest sequences ever in DTVA. The major difference is that unlike this episode; a ten year old boy was involved and the ransom totaled $250 instead of $5 like in this episode. Besides; the seven year Jim Cornette rule makes it okay.) How does it measure up this time?! (Like almost all Libby Hinson written episodes; it more than holds up. Trust me on that one. Also of note: Read the transcript and notice how many lines Jim Cummings had compared to everyone else. This was written basically to amuse Jim Cummings and no one else. Thankfully; this was great for the fans, so at least it wasn't mastabation booking on Libby's part.) Let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode is written by Libby Hinson. The story is edited by Karl Geurs. The animation is done by Sunwoo Animation I do believe. If there are red flashes coming from the guns; I'll know for sure. (It's Sunwoo Animation 2011 Me. Credits say so.)

Opening Moment #1: We have our second title card which shows Aunt Louise dancing and kissing a panicky Don Karnage. HAHA! Yes; it gives the plot away; but who cares?! The plot is secondary to the chaos and mayhem that will ensue here. (Besides; the funniest part of the title card is: I don't think Len Smith was informed that Don Karnage was going to wear blue boxers and a candy cane striped shirt in this episode because he did this title card showing Don Karnage in is usual uniform! That amused me considering the events of this episode.)

We begin this one with a far shot of that island on the South Seas, Louie's. We zoom in and hear some beautiful music as we cut to a radio on a tree stump with a bucket containing soda pop bottles. We see Baloo and Louie relaxing in the hammock playing tiddleywinks because they need a vacation after that last one in Macadamia. (Yeah; this is a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode as once again, no Kit, no Rebecca, no mention of Higher For Hire. Anyhow; I'm personally glad that Kit isn't here; because if they did plan to have Kit be here, they probably would have booked it the way KitCloudkicker52885 would have booked this: Louise keeps pinching Kit's cheeks and kissing him like an annoying stereotypical aunt would. Including a moment where Kit has to restraint Aunt Louise and would only do it in exchange for a year's worth of free sundaes. Look; we already buried Don Karnage with this funny plotline; I don't want to see the number two babyface in the show get buried for some comedy relief spot. Particually when Louie is the babyface who gets this. Yes; Louise is awesome, but she's awesome when she's giving Don Karnage his for thinking that she's rich and hapless. I have zero problems with Kit not being involved here. None whatsoever.) Baloo is wearing a white safari hat as he plucks the wink off his belly and Louie does the same as they deflect each other; but Louie's ends up in the mug for the win. (It looks like a shot glass; which turns from clear to green on the closeup shot. Sigh.) Baloo has a bag of potato chips (the bag was invented in 1926; the chips in 1853) as he calls this the life; along with orange fizzy pop (invented in 1767) and a pal. (The ultimate is rest and relaxation as they say. Yup; pre-Plunder and Lightning episode.) We then hear the radio beckon as the radio announcer tells us that those were Happy Harry Haole and the Hawaiian Boys. So there is a Hawaii in the TaleSpin world? Who knew...

I wonder if this show had an influence on those birthers who think President Obama is not a legit president? Nah.... (Actually; I would be fine with it, if it was Hawhye since it would be Hawhyan in that sense. Doesn't matter; Disney Captions called it Hawaiian. And of course it didn't influence birthers. I betcha birthers would overlap with Anti-Disney protestors because of Disney's policies concerning homosexuals. Even more to the point; the whole reference is to a 1909 song Hapa-Haole Hula Girl which translates to My Honolulu Hula Girl performed by "Sonny" Cunha. Here's a link to the lyrics of the original song along with the alternate 1962 song by Poncie Ponce. ) Now there is news on the radio (as a lizard crawls over the radio natch). See; millionaire pilot Louise L'Amour is the five time champion of the Scatmandu Air Race causes Louie to take notice because she's winging her way to that garden spot on the South Seas, Louie's Island. (If anyone wants to know where I got the "That spot on the South Seas, Louie's" promo from; this is the episode that started it.) Louie is shocked, appalled and horrified to hear this. See; Louie has an aunt named Aunt Louise and he panics; gets on top of a rock and yells at everyone to run for their lives. I know kids have problems with aunts; but this is downright absurd even for me. (See; the thing this that the typical stereotypical aunt is usually someone who is well meaning; but is overplaying the empathy card so much that it's difficult to have sympathy for them. Listen; we don't mind you being a human being, but there is such a thing as too much empathy. Most so; if it only serves to give ammunitions to monster heels that being a monster is totally justified (which it isn't). Here; Louie's overreacting to this whole thing and it makes me wanna see Louise do the stereotypical aunt thing on Louie; just to spite him for being such a child. I also don't buy that Louise is his aunt. She's clearly Louie's mother since Louise's last name is also the same as Louie's! This was an attempt to try to distance themselves away from the fact that Louie's dad is gone and SEX~! Didn't work. Not buying she's an aunt. I do buy that she's awesome though...)

Louie runs to the front of the building and takes the out of nowhere axe and breaks the emergrency glass which reveals a steel triangle. (Also; the red frame of the triangle disappears on far shots.) Louie rings triangle, all the waiters and such scramble around trying to hide the place and doing a really piss poor job of it. Does Louie seriously think that Louise is a retard to fall for this?! (Normally; I would hate you for using this toxic word; but in this case, I realize that your referring to Louie thinking that she is. In that case; screw him!) Louie gets an army hat on his head and hides into the conveniently placed fern pot. I'm inclined to call that one logic break number one for the episode; but it's clamoflauge and it probably was built by the waiters; so I'll let it slide. Besides; Stephen Colbert is not around to MURDER it either. Baloo comes over and we get this gem of a sequence as Baloo asks what the hell is going on here:

Baloo: Not that it's any of your best buddy's business; but what is going on?
Louie: My Aunt Louise is comin'! (Louie looks through some binoculars.) Sh-sh-she's gonna wanna dance.
Baloo: Huh, sounds good to me.
Louie: She's-s-s-s gonna wanna party.
Baloo: Oh, my kind of gal!
Louie: But the worst thing is; she's gonna call me...
Aunt Louise L'Amour: Louis?!

HAHA! CUE THE FUNKY PORNO MUSIC~! (Or the Benny Hill theme song. It's basically the same thing as it sounds as much B-level 1970's porno music as any.) Aunt Louise is voiced by Jim Cummings by the way which goes to show you that Disney's budget was overdraftting at this point. (That could be one reason; or Libby thought having Jim Cummings amuse himself for 22 minutes was a good idea. At least here; the later is perfectly acceptable.) Louie hangs all over Baloo's shirt attempting to hide underneath it. HAHA! (Louie's overhyperness is just creating more and more sympathy for Louise. I mean, come on! She may be your aunt; but she's not that awful!) That is just too funny as we see a pink seaplane fly down and does a hyperbole as Baloo and Louis... POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean; Louie ducks. The cover is blown in less than three minutes. Did I just say...Oh never mind. (Oh I almost forgot my Three Minute Warning joke from WWE. Too bad I live in Canada where any man on woman violence is excised visually. Different standards. Although; I guess we have more common human decency than North America. Not much more mind you; but still enough to be noticable.) We have another nosedive as we zoom into the cockpit of the seaplane to see Aunt Louise in the flesh wearing purple goggles, a yellow dress, and a lot of pink bands on her arms. Still less stereotypical than Shellsea. (I think my summary of Shellsea in Fish Hooks was: A woman that was clearly designed by a man. Which is comical considering that she was one of the best characters of the show next to Albert Glass.) Louie's mouth is left agrape as Louise lands onto the docks perfectly, then bounces across the dock and lands right in front of the building without doing any damage whatsoever. HAHA! (Yeah; so much for Louise being like Johnny Test and destroying the joint completely. Somehow; I feel bad for her since her son...ERRR...I mean, nephew; is a sad patheic little monkey who probably needs to be put in a cage and spanked. And it still wouldn't have earned it as much as Johnny Ass...ERRR...I mean, Test; does.)

The props stop as Baloo is amazed at such a pilot. Louie uproots the plant and hides in the pot telling Baloo to inform Louise that Louie is not home. Good luck there Louis. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! They should have used that name for King Larry in House of Mouse; then have Aunt Louise run in. Tons of fun! (Wow; that actually would have been a great spot. Larry doesn't even have to speak, he just has to be there. Give him an accent while you are at it too; since the gimmick of Louise is that no matter how much of a jackass she thinks you are, she still loves men with accents. Bad movie heels would never stand a chance against her.) Louise opens the glass door and takes up the goggles as she jumps down while the money is flying and Baloo gets some of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH to buy a buffalo. (She also tells Baloo to tie the Pink Pirahna (yes; the plane is named and it's not a pink shark as I originally thought it was.) to the dock and basically throws money away just to spite Louie and amuse me.) Wow; Rebecca can BE JEALOUS! (She won't be. She doesn't care about Louise since this is a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode. Even if she did care; she would be rooting for Louise over that matted crude ball of fur.) Louie tries the plant legs to escape; but Louise is not fooled and grabs the fern pot and throws away the fern. HAHA! (You know heels are so stupid when Aunt Louise figures out what we figure out in less than three seconds...AND THE ROCK SAYS THREE SECONDS~! Louie might as well used Baloo's flare gun and be done with it. It's not like the audience isn't waiting with baited breath to see Louise be awesome anyway.) Oh this is going to be a riot; I just know it. Louise shakes him and Louie invokes the Hanna Barbara teeth chattering sound effect in response. Now you know you are watching a classic! (And this is a classic: A classic 1910 short story from O. Henry crossed with "Swing Swift Cinderella" produced by Tex Avery for MGM in 1945. A real classic indeed! Sadly; that means it's already dead.)

More hugging and squeezing as Louie tries to tell her not to call him Louis; but it fails badly. This is the kind of epic fail that I like actually. She's drops Louie on his ass as Louise is staying for five weeks and Louie is trying to outtalk her; but it fails. Wow; this is the reason I tolerate Jim Cummings; because he is a wonderful voice talent. It's just that he has been overexposed even more than Frank Welker is right now. (If you talking about DAF Radio; yes. Everywhere else; no. Frank Welker is more exposed than Jim Cummings right now. The problem with this scene is not that they talk too fast, nor have annoying voices. They talk at normal speed and their voices sound great. It's the fact that they are talking over each other and it's comical when you consider that they are both voiced by Jim Cummings. Disney Captions is really awesome in this Volume compared to the first two volumes; but when it comes to two voices talking at the same time, they have problems.) Louise grabs Louie's arm and the doors open and it's time to PART-IE! We see Ace (the dog; not Ace London of course) and the buffalo from From Here to Machinery have returned at the bar which is more evidence Sunwoo is animating here. (Speaking of the crowds: As this party is going on and Baloo is dancing; one of the Air Pirates actually is dancing in the background. It's the red wolf with the green tunic and goggles on from Captains Outrageous by the way. That is comical when you realize that he might be Don Karnage's spy since he returns to the Iron Vulture later in the episode involved in the food fight with Louise.) We see Louise head over to the jukebox (invented in 1889) as she does the coin shuffle spot, the jukebox flashes and we get the soundtrack of Louie's Place. (The problem with this jukebox is: The name jukebox wasn't said until the 1940's and that version of the jukebox wasn't in stores until 1946.)

Louise starts juking so to speak as everyone snaps their fingers (I see the green sweater dog in From Here to Machinery has returned) along with a walrus pilot and a bird pilot. Louie is at the door in shock and panicking (in that order) as we get the run in complete with Hanna Barbara running sound and looping effects. You know what you are watching here. Louise dances wildly with the monkey waiter as the people in the background are actually animated. Huh; since when did Sunwoo Animation grow a set and stop sucking?! I wonder if this is the reason they got divine right over the majority of Darkwing Duck episodes? (Probably. That and the fact that Sunwoo was under Disney contract at the time.) Drinks go flying and Louie invokes the tray to grab them as everyone is dancing to the beat. I see the ferret pilot from The Sound & The Furry has made his appearance as we see more dancing from Louise and monkey waiter. Floor boards slingshot intentional objects as Louie runs in after throwing the tray of goodies away complete with glass shattering. Louie grabs them; but the last half of them smash right on Louie's head. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. (At least you weren't laughing at this. 1937 building codes are lax compared to now; but whatever.) More dancing from Baloo and an anteater furry as Louie grabs the fern pot and Louie grabs onto Baloo's foot. (That's an armadillo furry and it's Oscar Wiggerstomper from Bearly Alive! Considering that this is a Pre-Plunder and Lightning, I would have to hazard a guess that he was caught by Howard Huge more recently than the other pilots.) I should know that only once has the background characters not been animated so far. Louie pleads for help as the joint has gone crazy. HAHA! Baloo agrees with him and continues to dance as a brown Baloo like pilot dances in the background (!!). Louie proclaims that he wants to make her leave as we see the batcat furry in From Here To Machinery dancing in the foreground.

Yes; there is a pig furry with curly hair in the background too. Then Louie drops down after grabbing a steel prop. Oooookkkkkkaaayyyy. Baloo gleefully ignores him and walks out stage left. HAHA! (What a shocker that was?! Did Louie seriously think that Baloo was going to help him?! I mean; Louise loves parties and Baloo is the alpha male party lover; so why is Louie surprised?! I guess this hatred for Louise is frying the short term critical thinking circuits in his brain.) Baloo dances over to Louise as he wants to cut in, Louise agrees to the terms, throws the monkey waiter over her head stage left and takes a good bump off-screen in the process. Louise and Baloo do the "Fat Cat Stomp" like a bunch of pros (Mr Fat: As long as they don't get their paws on underaged females; then they are safe.). Louie is flustered and frustrated as glass bottles tumble and shatter and wooden unpainted masks (First mistake from Sunwoo four and a half minutes in. (Actually; they made three mistakes already and this mistake isn't really a mistake. It would be nice if they were painted, but alas.)) fall to the ground. Louie then gets a Krackpotkin plan, bails over to the jukebox and unplugs it. The jukebox goes dead and everyone stops as we discover that Ace is rolling on a barrel and somehow he doesn't fall on his ass when the music stops. Damn; I wanted to see someone look stupid other than Louis. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Audience to Louie: LOUISE IS GONNA KILL YA!) Louie wonders why the jukebox went dead. Hmmm; I wonder too since you were the only one CLOSE to it. Louie proclaims that no music equals no dancing equals no party. What a religious prick this Louis fellow is?! (Yeah; I realize that this is his bar and all, but seriously. Isn't this party a good promotional ad for coming here? Besides; who buys that you need to have dance and music to have a party anyway? Why not have some food?) Louise doesn't buy that and breaks a chair leg into a wooden bat. The monkey waiter climbs up a palm tree as Louis/Louie is so not liking this. Hey suckwad; let her have her party and LIKE IT!

Louise smacks some coconuts (despite there being one coconut on the palm tree.) as Louie runs in protesting this outrage of playing baseball inside Louie's. Louise claims that she isn't doing baseball as the coconuts go into four blenders on the island counter manned by four monkey waiters. (Blenders were invented in 1937; but the more important thing is, having the blender without the lid on makes perfect sense here because the spot involves making coconut snow. So you want to have the lid off. Compare that to a Mighty Ducks episode where Duke and Nosedive are stuffing food into a blender and they forgot to put the lid on for no reason, thus rendering a pointless joke spot in the middle of the episode.) Louise runs upstairs as she gives the monkeys the signal and the monkeys invoke the blender as the coconut flakes go up into the air and they fall down all over the place to create coconut snow. (Which looks so similar to real snow in this world.) We then see Louise on skis upstairs (The same place where Kit was in Plunder and Lightning Part One when he hid from Don Karnage...) because it's time for some skiing (Invented long before it was officially named as such in 1890.). She does the ski jump ramp and flushes some coconut snow right on Louie's back. HAHA! (She almost crashes into Louie too; so her partying is almost at the thin line between tolerable and downright dangerous. She needs to reel it in a little bit.) Louie is so dumbfounded over this. That ends the funky porno music for now at 5:20. Scene changer as we head to Pirate Island and zoom in as Don Karnage is doing some summer tanning on a lawn chair in the sun while reading the newspaper and listening on the jury radio. (Which is off by the way.) Don is also wearing blue boxer shorts, the SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT and a striped undershirt. Well; he's so cool as a heel so it makes perfect sense. (He's so cool even Len Smith forgot to draw the title card right.)

Then the shadow of doom beckons as a cloud overtakes the sun. Don takes off the shades and proclaims that someone is distrubing his awesome tan. Considering that it's a cloud; this is Kit screwing with Don's mind. (Not really; since this is a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode.) Mad Dog groans, causally walks over to a conveniently placed rope and pulls it. (Mad Dog looked incredibly bored in the first half of this episode. Remember that for later because I will be referring to it when Louise is kidnapped.) We pan up to the mountain side as we see guns pouring out, they fire on the cloud and it is completely turned into nothingness as the sun reappears. (As of this writing; we are now 36 for 43 in episodes with the guns pulled out.) Man; is this some symbolic death that I'm watching here?! And is it Don's hatred for Kit; or Michael Eisner's? You the viewers decide! Also, since they use red flashes; this is Sunwoo animating for sure. (It's Michael Eisner since this is a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode. And after this episode; who can blame him? Although it's really Libby Hinson writing this. She claims she loves Don Karnage; which is a hell of a way to liking him.) Don thanks Mad Dog for that one and wants to be rotated as Mad Dog, Dumptruck and Gibber all grumble at him with Dumptruck has the pizza spatula by the way. Don asks if they want their captain to become French Toast. Considering today's hostile political environment; I betcha someone would call that Freedom Toast too. (Nope; that time has come and gone. Don Karnage calls himself capitan here and Dumptruck is speaking gibberish again. No; I'm not translating it in the transcripts this time.) Dumptruck goes over and uses the pizza spatula to turn Don over onto his back. Don then pulls the shades up and asks what is the matter with them. Mad Dog whines that they are bored. Dumptruck proclaims that they haven't done any pirate stuff lately since getting stuck to Gibber's face in Stuck On You. (Would have made sense if 2011 Me didn't realize that this is a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode basically.)

Don asks about them wanting to engage in pirate stuff and the heels all whine and groan. Don gets up and decides that they should do some pirate stuff because he is so generous. The heels cheer on that one as their ban from doing pirate stuff since screwing Don over in "Stuck On You" has ended. The heel run away stage right as Don picks up the newspaper and suggests a kidnapping as the pirates cheer for that and return to Don's perch. We see Don proclaiming that he wants someone helpless and easy to kidnap. Don shows them the newspaper complete with a picture of Aunt Louise in glee racing her plane and CUE THE FUNKY PORNO MUSIC~! We return to inside Louie's at Aunt Louise is doing some Gorilla Bird Racing. (Even better; Louise is doing the exact same pose when she is riding the Gorilla Bird as in the newspaper photo.) Geez; this is the Plunder and Lightning reunion as Louie is hiding behind a table pleading for this to stop. (Well; this at least explains how Baloo knew about the Gorilla Birds, although this is evidence that they can be tamed, I guess. Baloo must have meant wild Gorilla Birds in Plunder and Lightning. Louie at one point is telling everyone to hold their horses and Louise says that horse racing is for whimps. Which would be insulting in this world; but not in TaleSpin since they were racing Gorilla Birds! Yeah; not an insult, just a TaleSpin world fact.) Even Baloo is racing one and one monkey waiter is chasing one. Baloo goes over to Louie as Louie is on the table wanting this to stop. Baloo asks for a five spot and Louie gives him five dollars; so Baloo puts five dollars on Aunt Louise and gallops away. HAHA! And people accuse High School Musical of being unrealistic?! Just in case someone thinks I'm biased towards the old Disney. (Even funnier; that throwaway spot actually factors into the finish! So this joke actually got paid off and then set up the finish basically. Libby Hinson is awesome!) More glass breaking as Louie breaks the table and bails to his island proclaiming that Aunt Louise has got to go. What a party pooper this Louis fellow is?! (Well to be fair; it is his bar and he has to get things under control because the whole place is a mess now. Sometimes; the party must end.)

Louie hides behind the counter and puts up a mock radio as Louie becomes a radio announcer because he has a scoop from Scatmandu. (Actually; it was the radio from the beginning of the episode which somehow got into the bar. I'm guessing Louie has multiple radios just to be safe. Anyhow; what's funny is that Louie calls himself Sid Skidoo. Skidoos are a Canadian product created by Bombardier which launched in 1959. Yeah. To be fair; they were skiing earlier, so the name pun makes sense.) Aunt Louise stops and we have a ten Gorilla Bird pileup on the Louie race track. HAHA! (Which somehow leads them to be stacked like hay at the end of this scene! How? I don't know. Maybe Baloo thought it was a great idea and all.) Press of Fraud Specialist Louie wearing a press hat in his own office. WHAT THE HECK?! Sid Skidoo proclaims that the Scatmandu Air Race has been moved up to tomorrow. (I think they should have redubbed the line where Louise said the air race is five days away instead of five weeks. Sure; both make sense either way, but five days would make her look a little less cruel and make Louie look like a bigger party pooper than he already is.) Aunt Louise is shocked to hear that as Louie goes even further by proclaiming that pilot Jacques Tojoure claims that he is going to beat the sh*t...ERRR...alienrons off of Aunt Louise. ( I originally said beat the ass off; but shit makes more sense here. Either one is fine since it's covered up with alienrons anyway.) Louie nearly blows his cover by calling her Aunt Louise before calling her that second rate pilot Louise L'Amour, of course. What a prick this Jacques Tojoure is?! Still not as classless as Louis L'Amour. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Tojoure is French for always or still. So Jacques Always~! That amuses me.) Aunt Louise is ticked off (and wearing a blue scarf) as those are fighting words and leaves Louie's to go to her airplane. (Yes; she wasn't buying Louie tip toeing away; but she somehow is buying this insult despite the fact that Louie blew his cover by calling her an aunt. No wonder Louie went to his office to do this. If he went to the island behind the radio, Louise would have caught him for sure.)

Louie (remembering to take off the press hat as if she saw it anyway. (She didn't see it.)) plays the comically unconvincing sympatheic routine as Louise hugs her, states that she has a title to protect and she'll come back to race warthogs. (Oh; and not just race them; ride them bareback in rodeo-equse fashion.) She even kisses Louie right on the lips to boot! And Sunwoo Animation gets it right too! (There was a lot of that in this episode, more so than usual.) She goes into the airplane and starts the engines as we see that her plane is a pink shark (It's actually the Pink Piranha 2011 me.) which is cute. Louise finally flys away from Louie's much to the relief of the owner and much disgust from me and the gang. He is Monty's boyfriend. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... That ends the funky porno music as Louie reenters Louie and slumps near the door calling this a nightmare. We then see the whole place is a mess and Baloo is on top of everyone in a neat place as Baloo calls that a PAR-TIE! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. We go to the scene changer as we see the Pink Shark (Piranha) flying in the skies and Aunt Louise wanting to kick Jacques Tojoure's ass...ERR...I mean alienrons. (Same thing basically.) She hates big mouths too and just as she said that; here comes the Iron Vulture with it's mouth open as the Pink Shark goes into the Iron Vulture and that ends the segment nine minutes in. Oh; we are just warming up here. (She hates big mouths; but love accents. Considering that Jaquces Tojoure is a French name; if Louise finds him, he's screwed. We won't know if he got his ass kicked or kissed or both when it's all said and done. Anyhow; outside of the usual Sunwoo Animation botchery; the writing is top notch here as Libby has set up the episode perfectly.)

After the commercial break; we get a shot of the Iron Vulture flying east as we head inside as we see Mad Dog, Dumptruck and Gibber in the background enjoying the thought of kidnapping Aunt Louise. They are going to regret this; believe you me. (That's the understatement of this show 2011 me!) I should point out that the air pirate on the wheel is the Air Pirate who spied on Khan Industries in my fanfic Plunder Project J4306. (Oh; that fanfic which I barely got into featuring Buzz's granddaughter, a hotshot lawyer and copyright infringement basically. The pirate's name was Willis I do believe in the fanfic, but he has no known name in the show. It was at a time when I had no conception of how to make characters work and be faithful to the series. Fanboy mind I guess.) We then go to a closeup of Mad Dog on the transmitter calling to Don Karnage and we get this charming exhange:

Mad Dog: Success, your loftiness! (Whispers.) The chicken's in the hen house!
Don Karange: What chickens? You were supposed to kidnap a rich lady! (Dumptruck takes the transmitter.)
Dumptruck: What we mean is...ah...The wiener's in the schnitzel.
Don Karnage: {With that smile that reads: Michael's gonna kill you!} I'm certainly happy for you; but, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Yeah; and people accuse the new Disney of this stupidity?! Needless to say; now I wish I hadn't figured that one out. Methinks Dumptruck got some crap past the radar there. HEE HEE! For those who wonder; it's a nice way of saying that the penis is in the mouth. (The true defintion: Weiner Schnitzel is a very thin, breaded and pan fried cutlet made from veal. It is one of the best known specialities of Viennese cuisine. The Wiener Schnitzel is a national dish of Austria.[1][2] The thing is: Don Karnage's reaction is the key to this. If he wasn't smiling like someone who is basically saying: "The censors would like to have a word with you."; then the true defintion is the one that makes sense. Don seriously thought Dumptruck was saying that he and Mad Dog were having anal sex with each other, basically. The "what are you talking about?" part does help tone down the sex joke a little bit. When I re-ranted on this episode in 2011 (using the old episode rant as a reference since I didn't even know about the joke back then.); when I got there, I had no idea why that was funny or even a good promo; and then it hit me, and I went "OH GOD!". I wanted so hard to use brain bleach to wash this out of my mind. Remember that this is also marketed to children as well. What were you thinking Libby Hinson? Also; the joke also risks being considered a homophobic slur as well. Not a good idea for a "cat is in the bag" joke.) Don yells at the heels to not bother him until the cat is in the bag as they toggle the transmitter a bit until it reaches Gibber's hands and Gibber whispers to Don that the cat IS in the bag. Don flops onto his lawn chair and orders Gibber to bring the prisoner to him. He will rue the day he said that. (Again; the biggest understatement of this entire series by a mile. Which is probably why he groomed Kit to be his successor; which was more regretful simply because Don had everything in his hands and Kit isn't love struck as Louise is here.)

We go inside the Iron Vulture landing strip as we CUE THE FUNKY PORNO MUSIC~! Louise's Pink Shark (Piranha) has a spotlight on her as the props go dead. Louise opens the glass door and demands answers to this outrage. (First question should have been: "Are you Jacques Tojoure?" Sadly; he's not. I'm surprised that this wasn't added to the episode; because that would have been hilarious as a response. Maybe this is Jacques Tojoure's plan to cheat his way to victory and beat the alierons off Louise. I hope that there is a prelim script that has this angle in; because it's so funny.) Dumptruck of course speaks out first because Louise is their prisoner and she cannot escape remembering to say it like he's reading cue cards. HAHA! Now there is the most ironic projection if I ever heard it. Louise jumps down onto the floor and orders them tough guys to show their powered pusses. (You mean pallid; which means pale in pig Latin. Never accuse DTVA of not showing off it's full flair of different languages for words to be spoken in English.) The spotlights all turn on as Dumptruck, Mad Dog and Gibber arrive with their swords drawn. Something tells me Mad Dog is NOT enjoying this for some reason. Or trying to beat Chuck McCann in a cue card reading contest to see who can not sound contrived. (Remember earlier about Mad Dog being all bored for the first half?! Well; we have reached the point now...) Mad Dog elbows Dumptruck and goes all har on us. Louise is not impressed as Mad Dog brings the sword to Aunt Louise's throat. Funny how a female can get it; but when Yes-Man gets it; he gets sniped out by Toon Disney. Someone in Toon Disney is sexist! (Well; that's as rational of a response as you will find in this world, 2011 me!) Mad Dog proclaims that she should be begging for mercy because she's at bay. Louise blows him off and grabs the sword easily and Mad Dog trips backwards off-screen as Louise shows it a lot better complete with Mad Dog's knees knocking. HAHA!

Mad Dog begs for mercy of course as Dumptruck and Gibber agree that she's pretty good. (And for the rest of the episode; Mad Dog stops selling boredom and sounds like his old whiny self. So Louise basically increased Mad Dog's workrate throughout the series! Awesome!) Then Aunt Louise notices Dumptruck's Swedish accent of doom as she gives Dumptruck the sword and seduces him calling him a Swedish meatball. HAHA! Yes Virginia; there is a Sweden in TaleSpin; on the corner of Lyndon and Ryemania. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (As there is a Bulgria too. Although Swiiden/Swiidish would be a more proper term in this world even if it sounds like I'm endorsing Mr. Mufflin as a teacher in Fanboy & Chum Chum.) Dumptruck then motions the sword and Sunwoo finally screws up somewhat as Mad Dog bails stage right after having the sword shoved up his ass. Not as bad as I thought it would be. Sounds like a BS&P ruling on this one. (Yeah; the sword missed him. But hey; Mad Dog's workrate is much higher now.) Louise then slaps Dumptruck's back so hard that Dumptruck gets planted with a MAN-SIZED bump on the floor. OUCH! If Dumptruck's head wasn't made of solid bone; he would have been dead. Nice touch to have the hat do flips before landing on Dumptruck's head. Mad Dog runs in and protests this outrage because she's the prisoner and he's the Air Pirate. Memo to Mad Dog: Stop looking up pictures of "Whine School" and look up the word projection. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm.... (Now that was a funny rejected Rhinokey joke there; so it says a lot more about Mad Dog than 2011 me.) Dumptruck thrusts the sword in the background as Louise blows them off because the CT-37's are no match for the Pink Piranha (So; yes, that is the name officially.) and Mad Dog dares her to try. Aunt Louise grabs onto Mad Dog's vest and it is on BABEE! (You will regret that Mad Dog Van Chaud!)

That ends the funky porno music for now as we return to Louie's inside as Baloo, Louie and the monkey waiters are cleaning up the place. Baloo?! Doing actual grunt work?! Doesn't this prove that Baloo has some contempt for Miss Cunningham or something?! (This is supposed to be a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode. So I'm guessing Baloo really did have some sexism involved in the context of having to work for her to get the SeaDuck back.) Louie has the RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM as he sweeps up and then the radio (from Plunder and Lightning Part Four) fizzles and we hear Don Karnage's voice beckon. Louie takes the transmitter as Don Karnage calls him Louie-type person as he is currently speaking to them with his voice (Plunder and Lightning Part Two). Louie blows him off accusing Don of running out of babies to steal candy from. We then see Don Karnage on Pirate Island (I just realized that the roof door entrance in the background is made from a steam shovel. More steampunk references to be sure.) as the seagull fly around. Did Sunwoo Animation get threatened by Disney like boxing did in the 1992 Summer Olympics or something?! (For those of you who wonder; I noticed this while watching the opening ceremonies of the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona and one of the Canadian announcers said: "Either they clean up their act, or you get out." They were referring to boxing being a corrupt sport. Nowadays; it's FIFA Soccer that needs to clean up it's act or gets out. Times change; we all know that by now. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: And it's any sport Russia is in now.)) Anyhow; Don is very cranky and informs Louie that he has a chicken in the hen house, cat in the bag, pig in the poke, etc. etc. (The idiom pig in a poke can also simply refer to someone buying a low-quality pig in a bag because he or she did not carefully check what was in the bag.[4] I just love how Don Karnage causally said that, not even realizing that later on, that pig in the poke is going to love his accent. It's so fitting that he say that without realizing that he's screwed big time. That was funny.)

Sadly; he seems more interested in bashing seagulls away. Louie blows him off and wants Don to cut to the chase and Don yells that he has kidnapped his Aunt Louise. Louie and Baloo are shocked and appalled. Coloring mistake: When Don Karnage talks about Aunt Louise; the colors made it as if it's morning; while the next shot involving Don has it being like it was originally which is BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset). (You win some, you lose some; Sunwoo.) Don claims that it's true as he looks into his own pocket mirror. (So for anyone who tells Don Karnage to look himself in the mirror as a way to call him a monster; don't bother. He already does it and doesn't care.) Louie puts the hand on the microphone realizing that he allowed her to go away. We cut back to Don Karnage walking around the tanning area as he feels generous today and decides to set the ransom at one million dollars. Louie is SHOCKED and then he calls Don Karnage about twelve different ways to call him a greedy bastard. (Geez Louie; don't be afraid to tell him how you really feel? 2011 Me is clearly embellishing his numbers again as usual. At least Louie has figured out what a poopyhead party pooper he really was back then.) Don proclaims that he is making him more generous by the minute as the seagull animation is still going on. Don then raises the ransom to two million dollars. Louie calls him about five different ways to call him a greedy bastard and so Don raises it to five million dollars. HAHA! (Don Karnage makes Doctor Evil look like an ineffective heel since Doctor Evil acts like a child and doesn't have the flair Don brings to the time. Even funnier; Don Karnage says that he wants five million dollars and not a penny more. Which means he wants five million dollars in EXACT CHANGE~! Now THAT is a heelish dick.) Memo to Louie: Time to punt sir; he's making you look like the asshole you already are. (I concur. As you'll see later, he lies about punting and goes to rescue her because he's a poopyhead trying to not be a poopyhead.)

Oh and he'll threaten Louise if he doesn't pay up as he swats a seagull away and the seagull sounds like it's being tortured by hot pokers. Also known as listening to HHH's theme song "It's My Time!" (That is the most accurate thing you have ever said 2011 me.) Louie thinks it's Aunt Louise screaming. Okay; that was pretty convincing. (I hope I find out that Jim Cummings voiced the seagull; because that would be awesome in a "take that!" to Frank Welker fanboys.) Louie thinks that they are torturing her when actually it's more like the other way around (Second most accurate thing you have ever said 2011 me.). Louie pleads for him to stop and gives up. Don is sitting on his ass speaking some Spanish and says "Sacramento, California." Don't ask me why; I guess it's a swear word in the TaleSpin world. (He speaks no Spanish; it's English with a Spanish accent. It's probably true that Sacramentio and California are swear words in TaleSpin. I know the later one is a swear word in many churches across the midwestern portion of America. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Nowadays, it's a swear word for former Playstations fans.)) Don gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and proclaims that he always win. (No he does not, sadly. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Still more sympathic and a bigger winner than Sony Always Wins~!)) He tells Louie to meet him twenty miles south of the island by midnight; or he'll never see Aunt Louise again. Louie's face is priceless as the radio goes dead. Well; you started it by being such an asshole to her. She was having fun and doing a damn awesome job of it and you ruined it for everyone; most so ME. (Not really; because it was his bar and she was wrecking the joint. As hilarious as Louise is; she still caused a big mess in the hall. You have to draw the line somewhere and Louie drew the line. Too bad he drew the line in the wrong way.)

Louie proclaims that this is all his fault. NO?! REALLY?! Baloo wonders how they are going to get five million dollars as Louie blows his nose on Baloo's shirt. EWWWW! GET HIM AWAY! GET HIM AWAY! (I can just hear Rebecca say that and she and Baloo haven't met yet since this might as well be a...you guessed it.) Louie proclaims that they are not going to pay because they are going to save her see. Louie storms right out as Baloo pleads to him because they must face all them pirates as he walks out with Louie. (Baloo is the best pilot in the world; and he still is afraid of these pirates. Maybe it's because he knows that it carries a really deadly risk. Then again; you wouldn't call them daredevil pilots as stated in the promotional materials if they didn't take the deadly risk. So PR did get this right at least. Doesn't change the fact that they are really dumb; but it does make them slightly less dumb.) Louie proclaims that regardless of Pirates or Don Karnage; he cannot allow Aunt Louise to be screwed by those barbarians. Again; I believe it's really the other way around and we CUE THE FUNKY PORNO MUSIC~! We head back inside the Iron Vulture as the CT-37's are chasing Aunt Louise's Pink Piranha. Aunt Louise is cheering with glee as Mad Dog (plus goggles) comes up from the left wing as Louise proclaims that she can beat him with one foot tied behind her back. Here's a thought Mad Dog: Tie one foot behind her back first. (Which would have been awesome if she did tie it behind her back. The Vinnie Macs of this world would be daring her into it. I can see it now: Baloo and Louise have an air race and before the race starts, Baloo would say: "You said you could beat anyone with one foot tied behind your back!" and then Louise would be forced to agree to do it or risk being called a coward. And then she beats him in the race anyway. Doing that with Grubby would be hilarious in the sense that the guy has no feet since his feet are supposed to be six extra hands!)

The chase is on as we head to the mess hall as all the pirates (Including Hal; all carrying spoons) come in while the food is being set up and the planes fly overhead causing them to be stunned at the sight. Louise turns the plane around and shouts some really funny cuss words that I don't know what she is saying anyway. (She said "Aircraft Carrier~!"; which is just there.) She lands her plane on the table and the food is all destroyed of course; but the table remains intact. (Somehow. I AM THE TABLE~!) The pirates all bail as we cut to the wheel house as the Air Pirate known in my fanfics as Willis (dog with one screen goggles, and a navy blue coat) hears the noises and gets onto the transmitter -- which is shaped like a copper pipe by the way -- and demands answers to this outrage. We head to the mess hall as Aunt Louise has some cream pie, and the JELLO FRUITCAKE the model version. (HA! In your face Rescue Rangers fanboys!) We have a food fight as we see food throwing above par with the new Disney. See; it's things like THIS that make the new Disney case a not so open and shut one like the old purists would like it to be. (This was later done in the Bratz live action movie in case anyone would like to take some easy cheap shots. This was also the point where the dancing air pirate from earlier is shown throwing food.)

We cut to the entrance to the mess hall as Willis enters, yelling that Don Karnage isn't going to like this and gets pelted in the face with three pies of course. What a shock?! Judging by his voice; it sounds like Charlie Adler. (It probably is; since he sounds nasel and whiny too.) We stop the music for a bit and return to Don Karnage's look off as Don props his elbow against the stone railing and looks out at the sunset enjoying himself. Who claims Don Karnage doesn't have a heart?! It might be black as sin; but he has a heart. (Of course; otherwise he would be dead. Empathy (or lack thereof) comes from the head, not the heart; since the brain is where all of these functions for empathy come from.) He is still looking at the pocket mirror as he gets onto the transmitter calling for the Iron Vulture and there is no response. He tries to call again because he wants the five million dollar hostage and there is no response except the food fight noise as we see that the wheel house is empty. Don yells at them, then we see in the background; the Iron Vulture has finally arrived stage left. Don turns around right on cue, panics as the Iron Vulture heads right straight at him and crashes into the mountains squashing him. HOLY CRAP! I forgot that actually happened in the previous rant. That is the end of the segment fifteen and a half minutes in. (It doesn't really squash him; it comes dangerously close to him before the commercial break. Anyhow; the setup for the payoff is perfectly in place now.)

After the commercial break; we finally get the second big logic break of the episode as the Iron Vulture is actually about a hundred feet away from him when we return. (This isn't as bad as it sounds because most animation does return from the commercial and show the final seconds of the previous scene, even though in this case; it was all original footage. Probably should have snipped out the last five seconds or so and it would have been perfect.) Oy vey there guys. (The Uncensored websites started this silliness; which is comical since Oy vey is Yiddish for dismay and grief. Another one for you, Brendala; I might have more.) Don Karnage panics as he back is against the wall. He pleads for mercy as the Iron Vulture crashes into the look off anyway and misses Don Karnage by about ten feet. I guess this is the old repeat the footage after the commercial break; only they reanimated the footage. (Yip.) Don bounces down and hangs onto the right side steel part of the Iron Vulture pleading for help all the way. Don Karnage is such a trooper! The Iron Vulture flies away stage left as we cut to the SeaDuck flying east towards the destination of twenty miles south of Louie's. We head to the cockpit as Louie has the binoculars on full blast as he wants Baloo to step on it and Baloo claims that he is. Louie proclaims that he'll never forgive himself or Baloo if anything happens to Aunt Louise. Yeah; we cannot have all the blame on you, eh Louis? POW! OUCH!! Ummmmm... (Spoken like a deflector who doesn't care about what he is deflecting anymore.) Baloo proclaims that they don't have five million dollars. (No crap on you, Pop-A-Bear!) Louie counters that they have brains, brawls and the heart to take up the cause. Oooookkkkkayyyyy; someone is on an illegal substance tonight. Baloo just gulps of course so at least he's agreeing with me. (Louie calls their cause the "Save Aunt Louise Armada" or SALA. The i-sala (Sala is a varation of the same name.) is a traditional Fijian headdress, similar in shape to a headscarf or turban, and part of the traditional attire of the chiefly and priestly classes of the islands of Fiji as a sign of rank.[1] That amused me.)

We get a closeup of the Iron Vulture steel as Don Karnage struggles to do the monkey bars on the edge. Then we cut to a door opening and Don Karnage enters inside panting. Oh my goodness; Don Karnage actually said "OH MY GOD" under all that noise. That's twice in this series! (It's up to four references now, 2011 me. Even more amazing is that Disney Caption KEPT this! They didn't write "Don Karnage speaking Spanish" or anything; or simply not transcribe it. It's in the subtitles for all to see. Oh; and Don Karnage was probably hating life too. Although soon enough; he will be hating life without any contradictions, beyond a shadow of a doubt and without any questions. If anyone tries to add stock footage to this; they will be hung by their pinkies!) Like I said to the Acorn Cafe: TaleSpin and Gargoyles would like to have a word with you about being adult. We hear the yells of "HAR!" and "Mercy!" by the pirates as Don is looking like he's drunk. Don makes it to the railing and is shocked and appalled at the carnage that befalls on his eyes. (I don't know what is more amazing: The destruction of the Iron Vulture or...) Thankfully; there is a white megaphone on the catwalk right next to him. (I'm guessing it's Louise's and she threw it up there as a joke during the race. I don't know because there is no scene to suggest what happened.) The Iron Vulture floor is ON FIRE literally. (Okay; who thought cosplaying NBA Jam in here was a good idea?!) There is a CT-37 in the air (probably Mad Dog's plane; who knows) as we pan over as we see the Air Pirates practicing their "Arr/Mercy" sword skills. Wow; Aunt Louise has improved their threat level by at least two hundred percent! (...the fact that the Air Pirates actually sound like a threat. She basically made the pirates become seriously dangerous. Amazing! For all the wrong reasons of course; but that amused me to no end.)

Don grabs the megaphone, demands answers to this outrage and he almost gets beheaded by the CT-37's in mid flight. Don ducks and we quickly cut to the mess hall as the food fight is continuing much to my amusement. Don walks in and takes a U-turn; takes a peek and gets a pie in the face for his trouble. Geez; now we are just over killing it now. (Oh; we're not through here yet. The big moment is almost upon us and it's going to make everything that happened seem like standard kid's stuff in comparison. Never underestimate the ability of Libby Hinson to bury and put over Don Karnage all in five minutes!) Don goes into the wheelhouse and wipes the pie off his face as he demands answers on who is driving the airship. (Worst...decision...ever...Karnage.) That is his last mistake as we see that Aunt Louise is driving the wheel of immorality as she has a pink captains hat with a pink feather that is in danger of sending Michael Eisner out of the Phantom Zone. (The Phantom Zone (dimensional prison in DC comics lore) is basically hell. Sadly; she took off the gear, I don't know why. I guess the censor were afraid of Libby Hinson booking the French Tickler~ spot after what happened with Kit and his groin in Polly Wants A Treasure. I don't blame them. Sunwoo cannot be trusted in such things.) Louise asks about it as Don demands answers again as Louise turns around wiggling her eyes. Don Karnage is shocked and soon is going to be horrified and buried beyond belief. Don advances forward as he proclaims that Louise is her prisoner and Louise goes to him and shiver his timbers; I think Michael Eisner is about to blow a gasket here. (No he's not. Now if this happened to Baloo...Maybe.) CUE THE FUNKY PORNO MUSIC AND TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN~!

Don backs up asking if she is in procession of all her marbles. Answer: Yes she is because they are pumped with the POWER OF LOVE~! SMACK! (I actually love this because (1.) The heels kidnapped her in thinking that she was rich and hapless; and now their sexism has come back to bite them in the ass and (2.) No love potions at all here. Louise loves men with accents and that's her personal preference. Plus; I can't feel sorry for Don Karnage because he kidnapped her in the first place! This is not like Love Loaf from Breadwinners. Never could be, never was.) Louise wants some kissy kissy because she adores men with accents, see. Louise calls him sugar and tries to grab him as Don jumps up like Huey Duck with a super ball up his ass; or being animated by TMS in Send In The Clones. Either explanation is valid. (Sunwoo Animation; you're trying way too hard not to suck in this episode.) Don bails stage right and it is on BABEE! They climb up the pipes as Don Karnage climbs up ordering a cease and desist, and getting a MAN-SIZED bump into the head into a steel pipe for his troubles. HAHA! I am so loving this. Yes; Don Karnage is getting buried; but who cares?! Unlike Just A Tad Smarter; Libby Hinson learned her lesson well. (TaleSpin was ending soon anyway and Just A Tad Smarter was in the middle of the Gummi Bears season. That's why I was pissed off when Igthorn was buried; but laughing when Don Karnage was buried. At least with Don Karnage; he's still the funniest heel of all time, so even if he loses creditability as a serious threat, he still has comedy to back him up; which is all what kids want. Right?! The only thing that annoys me here is that this is a Pre-Plunder and Lightning episode and so it hurts the creditability of the heels when Plunder and Lightning does come. However; I can shrug it off as a one off thing.)

Don proclaims that she is his captive and Louise dares him to captivate him. HAHA! (Now that's throwing it back in Don's face, Louise!) Don drops down on his ass off-screen as we cut to the hallways, the door slams open and it's the CHASE OF LOVE~! HAHA! Don runs down the runway and hides behind a pipe as he breathes a sigh of relief. Memo to Charlie Brown: You better hope that little red haired girl is not like Aunt Louise. Ever. If so; you are better off miserable and girl-less. I'm just saying. Don turns his back to look and there is Aunt Louise hugging him again out of nowhere. At least this goes somewhere and it's funny so I'll let the logic break slide. She calls him a sweet potato pie and a passionate fajita. (A fajita is a term found in Tex-Mex cuisine,[2] commonly referring to any grilled meat usually served as a taco on a flour or corn tortilla. The term originally referred to the cut of beef used in the dish which is known as skirt steak.[3] Popular meats today also include chicken, pork, shrimp, and all cuts of beef. In restaurants, the meat is usually cooked with onions and bell peppers. Popular condiments are shredded lettuce, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, pico de gallo, cheese, and tomato. The northern Mexican variant of the dish name is Arrachera. I mention this because in the prototype designs for TaleSpin back when the show was still in production; Louie was wearing a cowboy hat, so the original plan was to have Louie's to have a Western theme instead of the tropical paradise of the south seas like it was in the final. The western themed stuff did make it to the episode Citizen Khan though.) Okay; now we are going past the line here of good taste in DTVA. He shoves Aunt Louise (no male on female contact? What no male on female contact?) away, Louise loses her balances and bounces into the conveniently placed jail cell with a good bump on her back. Don Karnage closes the jail cell door; which only increases the kinky-ness just a tiny little bit.

He locks the door with the spare key (must have been in his pocket in those boxer shorts.) and breathes a sigh of relief as the porno music can finally cease. Sadly; he now has another problem as there are bomb sounds heard outside of the Iron Vulture. Don Karnage swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (blue blazes) and bails stage left. Louise gets to the iron cell door and is overcome by the POWER OF LOVE~! SMACK! She takes a hairpin from her red hair and picks the lock on the cell door. (Odd because it looks like her pilot keys. Geez; I didn't know keys in TaleSpin had the exact same lock. That kind of defeats the purpose of cages and cells then.) We quickly cut to Don Karnage, Dumptruck, Mad Dog and Gibber running into the wheel house and towards the window as Don Karnage is shocked to see the SeaDuck overhead. Louie is lighting up coconut bombs and throwing them onto the Iron Vulture as they explode on impact. I'm shocked the terrorist haven't used that tact yet. Oh; and apparently, you can light matches, but they cut it when you strike them. Toon Disney's editing practices are so whack! (Yes they are whack. At least Louie's coconut bombs looked more threatening than those green apple bombs in Bygones.) Louie goes to the transmitter and asks sarcastically if he love those coconuts. (Everyone seems to like to cut exotic Bostonian promos these days.) We cut back to a air shot of the window as Don Karnage is on the transmitter blowing them off because he wants five million dollars and not a rearranging of the lovely paint job. Louie blows him off because they are coming to get Aunt Louise back and get their revenge on Don Karnage, too. Dumptruck asks if he should blow them out of the sky. Don yells at them to do so and CUE THE FUNKY PORNO MUSIC AND TURN IT UP TO TWENTY-TWO~! Don yells "no" and then laughs at the transmitter and lowers the ransom to five thousand dollars. Wow; he is truly generous. (Well; he's the best heel money can buy; so there you go.)

He then throws the microphone away and bails as Louise chases her. Oh; this is just awesome to watch. I seriously mark out every time this episode airs. The heels look confused as hell as we see the SeaDuck land on top of the Iron Vulture as Louie doesn't bite on that deal. We then see Don return as he grabs the microphone again, he is in such a panic mode and lowers the ransom to five hundred dollars. Then he runs away stage right as we see Louise continue being infected with the Power of Love~! Mad Dog goes over to the periscope and we see the periscope shot of the SeaDuck landing. The target part would be painted out by 4Kids I should point out. (Yeah; what's up with that?! I would love to have an explaination as to why they are using Plunder and Lightning to justify their editing anime?). Mad Dog proclaims that Baloo has arrived as he asks Don if they should put up a fight as Don stops and blows them off because he wants them to pretend to put up a fight. HAHA! (That is hilarious when you consider that the minions of Don Karnage are wrestling-equse names. Yes; I know wrestling fake and so is live-action fiction in general. The mockers are not mocking professional wrestling because it's fake. They are mocking them because the business has LIED for many decades in claiming that wrestling is REAL. That's the main reason why it makes sense. At least the other ficitional mediums don't pretend that it's real; except for religion of course. Also; a lot of wrestlers are very religious in nature, too. It's a two peas in a pod situation.) He bails again as Mad Dog whines and Don runs to him and shakes Mad Dog good telling him to trust him and then bails again as the chase of love MUST CONTINUE~! Louise calls him a tart-wad (!!!) and then the door opens from the wheel house and in come the babyfaces charging in. (No she doesn't 2011 me. She called him Don Juan Karnage which is a common metaphor for a "womanizer". Which is hilarious considering that Don Karnage didn't think of her as a threat. Lovely!)

The heels shrug their shoulder and uncork their swords and charge as Louie invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH which misses by a mile; but since Mad Dog is pretending to put up a fight; all three Air Pirates drop on their backs and get knocked out. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This has to be some huge rib on the animation screw ups I see in this series and in DTVA. (This is worthy of a fake wrestling match. At least Louie's punches are better than CM Punks' Randy Savage elbows. Anyhow; Joe Torcivia did in fact love this spot.) Baloo is still dumb enough to think Louie made contact with the punches and Louie is stunned because he knows he didn't even make contact with the damn punch. If Jumblaya Jake didn't look like a total pussy before; he sure as hell does now. (You just had to use a toxic word, 2011 me. And to think; you were chugging along just fine at this point. That said; Jake does look extremely weak after that one. If I were Louie; I would be confused too.) Louie turns to Don Karnage and threatens violence on him as we see Louise and Don dancing around. Don's heat is gone; but who gives a crap?! Don dances around as Louise tries the kissy kissy stuff. Louie informs him that he doesn't have five hundred dollars. (I wrote in the transcript that Louise was molesting Don Karnage at this point; because I got tired and wanted to finish the transcript since I started much later than usual. Somehow; I finished at around the same time as the ones started early. Don't know why.) Don claims that he's a humanitarian (Riiiiigggghhhhtttt. (See, that's funny.)) and lowers the ransom to fifty dollars because he has to make money back on the investment see. So, he's Nintendo's financial adviser? No wonder the American government wanted to screw them over. No response as Louise is wanting to kiss and Don lowers it to fifteen dollars. Then to ten dollars and then Louise gets kissed on the lips and Sunwoo screws up because they animated Don Karnage with his open mouth. Minor; but still a bit of an annoyance. Then they drop to the ground as Don lowers it further to $6.50 as Baloo comments to Louie that they make a great couple. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (He started with nine, then eight and then six fifty. HA!)

Louie proclaims that it would make Louise happy and he cannot interfere with that kind of love. Don panics as he shoves Louise hard again and offers a five dollar ransom and that is it because he won't get a deal like that anywhere else. Louie and Baloo decide to show some mercy (DAMMIT!) and they deal. Louie then checks his pockets and it seems that he forgot that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. (Don't blame me for that pun. That's WWE and Cryme Tyme's fault. The high point of their careers was destroying JBL's limo with John Cena.) Even petty cash?! That's pretty sloppy Louie. (Actually; this is brilliant. Remember earlier in the episode when Baloo asked for five dollars and Louie gave it to him? Yeah; that throwaway spot is now leading to the finish. I didn't realize it until I was doing transcripts for this episode to boot! It was right there in front of me and I still missed it!) So Don pays HIM five dollars as Aunt Louise is almost giving him some sexual treatment if you catch my drift. Finally, Louie and Baloo sell as they drag Aunt Louise away kicking and screaming. (I mean that literally too. Sadly; Louise restrains her self to not kick. Damn.) She pleads for them to stop taking her away. Baloo calms her down somewhat by saying that there are other sharks in the sky as Aunt Louise is crying as she says goodbye in French, Italian and a few other languages other than English to Don. (Here is what she said when I transcribed it: Louise: "Au revior, mon cheri! Hasta luego, liebchen! Arriyederchi Roma." The first one is in French meaning, "Goodbye, my darling!" The second one is Spanish meaning, "Until then, Liebchen!" Liebchen is "my dear" in Spanish. The last one is Italian meaning, "Goodbye Rome!" Odd because in ancient Roman religion, Roma was a female deity who personified the city of Rome and more broadly, the Roman state.[1] It translates to Rome by the way. So Louise does know at least three different languages. No wonder she loves men with accents; she's trying to be a diplomat when she retires from air racing. She needs to work on her romance restraint a lot because that is an international incident just daring to happen.)

It's sad but the writers aren't going to allow a face to marry a heel in children cartoons. Then again; Don wouldn't last a month with her around. Speaking of Don; he cuts a Shakesphere promo (Parting is such sweet sorrow. - Romeo & Juilet.) and then finally faints to end the whole nightmare for him. He won't be kidnapping defenseless women for a long time. (Well; until Rebecca Cunningham and Molly Cunningham in Plunder and Lightning when you consider this to happen before the pilot.) See you in Bygones, Don Karnage. (Damn; that's the next episode I'm going to transcribe. After that, there's only A Baloo Switcheroo left. Yeah.) Yes; the PORNO MUSIC MUST END~! What a great finish that was; it only could end in O. Henry fashion. (Crossed with Tex Avery, of course because it is a cartoon episode.) We head to the garden island on the South Seas Louie's AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we see the SeaDuck parked on the docks. We head to the island bar as Baloo and Louise are having drinks and Louise is sulking over the music. (Sadly; she's drinking Sarsaparilla, a soft drink, originally made from the Smilax regelii plant, but now sometimes made with artificial flavours. Sarsaparilla was popular in the United States in the 19th century. According to advertisements for patent medicines of the period, it was considered to be a remedy for skin and blood problems.[1] Ruth Tobias notes that it evokes images of "languid belles and parched cowboys."[2] In Hollywood westerns from the 1930s to the 1950s, ordering sarsaparilla in a saloon (instead of whiskey) is often met with mockery by the manly cowboys nearby. Sarsaparilla drinks feature widely in American popular culture, particularly in works related to the American West. In the 1957–1961 ABC western television series, Sugarfoot, the title character, Tom Brewster, played by Will Hutchins, is a teetotaler who orders sarsaparilla "with a dash of cherry" whenever he enters a saloon. Sarsaparilla was also believed to be a preventative against venereal disease, possibly because of the diuretic effects of flushing the urethra after intercourse. In a way; she is a health nut by 1937 standards, I guess. So Louise is too sober to not choose whiskey. Good choice, though. I shudder to think what a drunk Louise would pull off.)

Baloo looks bored as Aunt Louise's heart is broken when she blows her nose in Baloo's hanky. (Actually; he is more worried than bored.) Then we hear a French voice beckon as a skunk furry with a light blue jacket and blue captain's cap greets them in French and runs in and kisses Baloo on both cheeks good. (I'm certain he's a grey cheetah judging by the markings. Oh; and him kissing Baloo was awkwardly animated in addition to being awkward in general. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Ironically, him being a skunk furry would have been a take that to Pepe LePew from Looney Toons.)) Oookkkkaaayyyy; someone has a gay fetish here as the furry orders Louie a cheeseburger and French Fries all in French no less. The idiots of the Freedom Fries movement will soon be boycotting this show despite being twenty years too late. (Nope, they didn't. Because it was stupid. Anyhow; just a note to Libby Hinson: It's "Un formage" not "une formage". See, I can be a grammar Nazi in both official languages. HUZZAH~!) Louise's ears pop up because the guy has an accent and asks him to repeat himself. The furry grabs her hand to kiss and makes the fatal mistake because he's Jacques Tojoure. (And he speaks more French than I do!) UH OH! If anyone wants to wonder why I loved the finish of Doris Flores Gorgeous when Doris unzipped to reveal Clamantha? (Oh boy; I remember that finish and it was one of the funniest moments in my ranting career simply because it was built up so well. Even I knew that it had to be Clamantha because if it wasn't; then the joke doesn't work. The only issue I had with it is that they should have done that episode near the end of the series where it would have had most of the impact. Once Clamantha kissed Oscar; the stalking angle was over right there. Sadly; it must continue as they say.) Well; Jacques is going to wish he could do the same thing right about now as we HIT THE PORNO MUSIC~! (Or Benny Hill theme, it's all the same anyway.) Louise pulls her hand away and invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH because he was the one who claimed that he was going to beat her ass...ERRR...I mean ailerons in the Scatmandu Air Race.

She hates his attitude; but LOVES his accent. Goodbye Jacques; it was nice knowing ye. Louise grabs him and walks out stage right as Jacques pleads for mercy and it does him no good because he's now Louise's little croissant. HAHA! S. Scott Bullock is voicing Jacques Tojoure by the way. (Yes; Louise loves him so much that she completely forfeits herself and him in the actual race. Someone should tell her that the race is still five weeks away and that Sid Skidoo is really a lying sleazy sexist bastard named...LOUIS~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...) Baloo beams at the door as he and Louie toast on soda pop glasses and Louie calls this all crazy. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Circle fade out to finally end the episode at 21:02. I guess there was about ten seconds or so cut out by Toon Disney. (I watched both versions; they are exactly the same, so someone cut out the slugs and it added up to ten seconds.) I think you know what this episode is getting. ***** (100%). (Joe Torcivia's The Issue At Hand gave this ** 1/2; and explained: "A fun episode to be sure, but it loses points for relying too heavily on that “lustful female vigorously pursues fleeing male object of her desires” thing that Tex Avery did so well in MGM’s “Swing Shift Cinderella” (1945) and was seen in other, lesser-known cartoons like Paramount’s “Possum Pearl” (1957) and the Walter Lantz Woody Woodpecker cartoon “Red Riding Hoodlum” (also 1957). …Then again, maybe I should GIVE it points for doing that stuff in a Disney TV cartoon!" I can see why he gave that rating. After all; he has clearly seen all of these shorts and I have not; so your enjoyment depends on seeing these shorts from the 1940's and 1950's. I haven't seen them; so seeing this episode was a fresh angle for me and that explains my rating. This was a really fun episode with only the usual Sunwoo botchery; and both Don Karnage and Louise L'Amour were game for just playing this angle at the end. Everyone else was good too.)

THE REVIEW LINE

Like Mach One For The Gipper; this episode was pretty silly with lots of laughs and proof that Don Karnage is a babe magnet of the best kind. Or worse if you are Don Karnage and you're a clever terrorist. Don Karnage was the star of the show; getting himself over in his own boxer shorts and making me laugh every time Aunt Louise tried to get her hands on him. Don was just too funny and he showed off the biggest physical weakness of being a handsome pirate. Aunt Louise was awesome too as she proved that she can fly a plane with the best of them and knows how to have fun; mostly at Louie's expense. I mean; how many times can you ski in TaleSpin?! (I don't think they did a skiing angle in DTVA until Goof Troop I think.) All in all; the animation was very good (few spots screwed up), zero logic breaks and even the Air Pirates were on today; and they managed to pull it off with little gun play (the only scene was the one where they shot the clouds dead. You could run this on ABC and it would pass muster easily.). Yes; this episode buried Don Karnage as a serious heel; but unlike Duke Igthorn; Don Karnage has the comedy chops to back himself up should his drama heel stock got destroyed in the process. Hey; if you are going to get buried; this is the best way to do it and Libby should be commended for that at least.

So, we have done 60 out of the 65 episodes in TaleSpin at this point; as we head to probably the worst episodes of the series in Your Baloo's In The Mail and The Incredible Shrinking Molly (Kit and Molly's final appearances); two awesome episodes in Paradise Lost (WildCat's finest hour and will be done with Your Baloo's In The Mail next...) and Bygones (Don Karnage's final appearance.). Then we have the black ball to end all blacklisted episodes in DTVA; Flying Dupes (and the final appearance for the Thembrians). I'm really drained at this point because that is the very nature of watching a TaleSpin episode; you get so many emotions watching it that it drains you a lot more than more singular focus series like a Rescue Rangers, Gummi Bears, Darkwing Duck or even a Ducktales for that matter to a lesser extent. (Which is hilarious considering how much comedy there was in this episode. I see someone was drained of laughter at this point. It happens.) Also, Paradise Lost is the final emotional episode of the series written by an unlikely pathos writer. (That one will be transcribed after Bygones by the way.) I just hope my emotions can hold on because I'm somewhat at my wits end here. So...

Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you next time.

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