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Your Baloo's In The Mail Transcript

Written: 07/30/2016
Updated: 12/11/2021


Act I

Scene I

(Shot of the city of Cape Suzette. Zoom into a sky shot of Higher for Hire. Then a jump cut to the dock shot and zoom in as we head to a private office upstairs as Rebecca is listening to a giant radio on the desk. Rebecca is not wearing her sweater here for some reason. She is holding a ticket that says "Sweepstakes Ticket #490622876".)

Radio Announcer: And now, the announcement you've all been waiting for! The lucky winner of the hundred thousand dollar Pazuza Sweepstakes is...Rebecca Cunningham!

Rebecca Cunningham: Ooooooohhhh! (Rebecca gets up and jumps up and down with glee. She dances around as there is a fire pole heading down to the office.) I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm rich! (Rebecca jumps on the fire pole and spins around. Rebecca spirals down the pole to the office floor.)

Radio Announcer: But remember, Miss Cunningham; to get your hundred thousand dollars, your ticket must arrive by mail in the Pazuza Sweepstakes Office by eight a.m. tomorrow.

Rebecca: Eight a.m. tomorrow? No sweat! (Rebecca goes over to her desk and takes a yellow mustard cover book down from a pile of books on her desk.) Fast mail, fast mail, see speed. Speed, see super speed. Here it is! S-S-T-I-S-D-D! (We look at the page with the dog logo furry in orange as it's called "S.S.T.I.S.D.D. Super Speed, Triple Insured, Same Day Delivery. $17.50.") "Super Speed, Triple Insured, Same Day Delivery." Seventeen dollars and fifty cents?! That's outrageous! Except to a rich lady like me. (Rebecca throws the book away and puts the ticket in the envelope; she licks the envelope and seals the letter.) Post office closes in an hour. (Rebecca writes the address on the letter.) That leaves me plenty of... (Into the office comes Molly Cunningham.)

Molly Elizabeth Cunningham: Time to go, mommy. (We see Molly dressed up in an artichoke costume standing in the office.)

Rebecca: Time to go, time to go, time to go, go, go. Gotta get to the post office. (Rebecca puts on her sweater which was hanging from a coat rack.)

Molly: But I'll be late for my play. (Rebecca stops at the door and gasps.)

Rebecca: Molly's school play. Don't worry, honey; I'll get you there on time. I'll have Baloo mail my ticket! (Rebecca catches herself.) What am I saying?! This is important! Every single time I ask Baloo to do something important, he messes it up.

Molly: Then don't tell him it's important.

Rebecca: Of course! (Rebecca grabs Molly.) Molly, you're a genius. (Rebecca kisses Molly on the cheek.)

Molly: Nuh-uh; I'm an artichoke.

Scene II

(Shot of the entrance to Cape Suzette as the SeaDuck flies into the harbour. Head into the cockpit as Baloo is piloting the plane with his foot again.)

Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: Pilot to navigator, you got any ketchup left? (Baloo is pouring ketchup over his head and neck as his arm is in a sling. Baloo throws the ketchup bottle away and it shatters as he brings out his fake banadge boot and puts it on his left foot.)

Kit Cloudkicker: Navigator to pilot, negative. All we got is... (Kit is in his chair holding a bucket of green slime.) Ugh! Avocado dip. (Kit gives Baloo the bucket and Baloo pours it on himself.)

Baloo: Well, it can't hurt. Okay, now you got our story straight? (Baloo throws the bucket away.) We're five hours late 'cause we were attacked by giant armadillos. (Kit puts a cross band-aid on his forehead.)

Kit: Baloo, you really think Rebecca's gonna buy it?

Baloo: Trust me. (The SeaDuck spirals down and lands on the water in the harbour. Cut to Rebecca and Molly outside on the driveway near the office as a taxi comes in and stops. The side door opens and out comes Baloo looking like he's faking injuries.) Clams! Oh ho ho! Millions of them! (Baloo is coughing and weezing and hopping on the docks as Kit comes out.) Snapping and biting, and; oh, Becky, it was terrible! Oh ha ha ha! (Baloo pants.) It was awful! It was...(Baloo trips on the bandaged boot and pratfalls down on his belly on the docks in front of Molly and Rebecca. Baloo gets up grabbing the bandaged boot.)

Rebecca: That's okay. (Rebecca walks Baloo over as Kit goes over to Molly.)

Baloo: Now-now-now Becky; I can explain...

Rebecca: No problem. (Kit and Molly walk with Baloo and Rebecca towards the taxi.)

Baloo: You mean, you're not mad? I-I-I-I am five hours late. (Baloo opens the door as Rebecca grabs Molly.)

Rebecca: Ah, ha ha ha. (Rebecca puts Molly in the back of the taxi.) What's five hours in the grand scheme of life? By the way, could you mail this letter for me? (Baloo is given the letter and Baloo looks at it.)

Baloo: Sure, what's in it?

Rebecca: Oh, nothing important. Heh. All you have to do is give it to the postal clerk and say "S-S-T-I-S-D-D".

Baloo: "S-S-T-I...".

Rebecca: "-S-D-D."

Baloo: Got it.

Rebecca: Good. Here's twenty bucks. (Rebecca gives Baloo twenty dollars.)

Baloo: For a letter?! Oh come on, gee, I...(Rebecca kisses him on the cheek and Baloo does a funny face as she gets in the taxi.)

Rebecca: Haaaaaa, Baloo; you're such a doll.

Baloo: You believe that? Next thing she'll be telling me to keep the change. (The window is opened to reveal Rebecca.)

Rebecca: Now remember Baloo, it's not that important! Oh, and you can keep the change. (The taxi drives off stage right.)

Kit: (Sighs) Baloo? You've finally driven her over the edge.

Scene III

(Shot of a Post Office building as a giant letter is blocking half of the sign. Pan over to Baloo and Kit in partial shadow looking at it.)

Kit: Post office, dead ahead. (Kit has the letter now.)

Baloo: Oh, forget that! Burgers and fries at three o'clock! (We cut to a burger joint called Paul's which has a burger for a building, a fries box with fries as a chimney and an outhouse on the right side. Baloo goes over to the counter and rings the bell. A purple dog with brown hair over his face wearing white comes out.) Fill her up, please! (Kit comes over to Baloo.)

Kit: Baloo, we need that money to mail Rebecca's letter.

Baloo: Relax, there'll be plently left for a measly old stamp. A couple dozen burgers, double cheese, triple fries and five pies. (Trays of burgers, six boxes of fries and five pies are served as Kit is forced to carry all of these by himself.) Now, you want something too, kid?

Scene IV

(Head inside the post office. The bank manager, Austin Featherridge (carrying presents) and a pig lady are behind in a line with Baloo and Kit. Kit is looking at a board on the wall containing wanted posters. The moose furry from The Golden Sprocket of Friendship walks off stage right in front of Baloo as we see a bird furry in post office gear with brown hair at the desk.)

Post Office Clerk: Next. (Baloo and Kit come over and Baloo puts the letter on the desk.)

Baloo: (Stutters) S-S-I-T-T-U-D.

Post Office Clerk: Excuse me?

Kit: Heh, heh. He means D-U-D-S-S-I-G.

Post Office Clerk: Beg your pardon?

Baloo: (Baloo and Kit are whispering to each other.) S-S-T-I...

Kit: No, no. T-I-S-D-D. (None of the people in the back are amused.)

Baloo: No, no. S-S-S-S-T-I-D...

Baloo/Kit: S-S-T-I-S-D-D!

Post Office Clerk: Oh! Super-Speed Triple-Insured Same-Day Delivery. That'll be seventeen dollars and fifty cents, please. (Baloo is embarrassed.)

Baloo: Uh, yeah. (Stutters.) Listen, you caught me a little short. You got anything cheaper? (The pig fury steps forwards and doesn't look amused. She walks off as the clerk brings out a giant read covered book called "Postal Rates". He flips through the pages to the class system; but there are no prices shown.)

Post Office Clerk: Well, there's first class, ten ninty-five.

Baloo: (Stutters.) It's a little bit steep.

Post Office Clerk: Second class, Six thirty-five.

Baloo: Oh, well...

Post Office Clerk: Third class, two seventy-three?

Baloo: Ummm...

Post Office Clerk: Fourth class, a buck sixty.

Baloo: Uh, not really...

Post Office Clerk: Fifth, Twenty-eight cents.

Baloo: Uh, getting warmer... (The clerk slams the door and dust is collected.)

Post Office Clerk: Ahem! Sir, if I may ask...How much do you have? (Baloo shows him two pennies and a fry.)

Baloo: Uh, two cents and a French fry.

Kit: Ohhhhh! (Kit is flustered as the clerk opens the book again and checks the pages.)

Post Office Clerk: That will be enough for eighteenth class postage.

Baloo: Deal!

Post Office Clerk: Of course, it's not one of our speedier services.

Baloo: Ah, who cares?! She said it wasn't important.

Scene V

(Cut to the Post Office Clerk going over to the filing chutes and opening the 18th class chute on the bottom right side.)

Post Office Clerk: Eighteenth class...eighteenth class...eight...Ah, here we are! (The clerk has to put the letter in his mouth and struggles to get the chute open before it opens. The letter slides out of his mouth and into the spiral slide chute.)

Scene VI

(Head back to Higher For Hire as the taxi comes in and it's tires squeal as it stops. The doors open and close as Rebecca comes out.)

Rebecca: I hope he mailed it, hope he mailed it, hope he mailed it... (Molly is already outside for no reason as Rebecca goes to the door.) Come on, Molly. (Head inside the office as Baloo is making and throwing paper airplanes at the trash can on the desk. Kit is making a paper airplane himself.)

Baloo: Hee hee, who says I can't do something without messing it up? (Rebecca and Molly comes into the office.)

Rebecca: Baloo? Everything go all right at the Post Office?

Baloo: No problem. Even saved you a French fry. (Baloo brings out a French fry from his pocket.)

Rebecca: Whahoohoo! (Rebecca picks up Molly and kisses her.) Oh, Molly! You were right, honey. (Rebecca laughs as she dances around with Molly in her arms. Molly is set down on the ground.)

Molly: They don't call me the Artichoke of Happiness for nothing.

Rebecca: Oh hoho! Baloo, you're so wonderful! (Rebecca goes over to hug Baloo.) Hee hee hee.

Baloo: I am? (Rebecca goes over to her desk.)

Rebecca: See, usually you're so unreliable I want to strangle you; but today...oh, today; you actually did a job without messing it up.

Baloo: Aw, shucks; it was nothing. (Rebecca is on the phone holding a book.)

Rebecca: Hello? Richelieu's Department Store? (Richelieu is a 1839 French play known for the catchphrase: "The pen is mightier than the sword.") Cunningham here? (Rebecca clears her throat and sits up with her feet on the desk.) I would like to order the gold plated shower curtain on page five, yes...(Rebecca flips through the pages.) And the grand piano on page nine. Then I will have two pairs of diamond-studded earrings. Why don't you make that six pairs? (Baloo grabs the phone away from Rebecca.)

Baloo: Becky, what're you doing?! That stuff will cost a fortune!

Rebecca: (Grabs the phone back.) Which I got. I just won...heh... the one hundred thousand dollar...sweepstakes! Ah ha ha ha!

Baloo: A hundred...(Cackles and laughs.) A hundred thousand smackers?! Ooooh! (Baloo and Rebecca dance around.) Oh, Becky, that's great! (Rebecca giggles.)

Rebecca: The cash arrives as soon as my ticket gets to the Sweepstakes Office, eight o'clock tomorrow morning!

Baloo: Eight o'clock?! Oh, you better mail that ticket now. (Baloo laughs out loud.) Where is it?! I'll mail it for ya!

Rebecca: But you already did! It's on its way to Pazuza, S-S-T-I-S-D-D! (Baloo panics and stutters.)

Baloo: S-S-D-I-D-D... (Kit and Baloo have their hands in their heads looking panicky.)

Rebecca: Baloo?! What's wrong?

Baloo: I-I-I-I just remembered! It's the first day of grouse season and we're gonna be late! Ah-ha...! (Baloo screams as he and Kit run out of the office stage right. Rebecca and Molly are stunned.)

Scene VII

(Head to the post office as the pig lady from earlier and the moose furry from earlier are in line. There is a warthog, a dog furry and a furry with a yellow suit, green/black dotted tie and a mustache in the line. The Post Office Clark walks to the desk as Baloo and Kit open the door and walk right on in panicky.)

Baloo: Oh, oh, quick! That letter we sent to Pazuza?! We gotta have it back!

Post Office Clerk: Sorry, sir; it's already on it's way. Now, don't worry; the mail always gets through. It'll arrive.

Kit: Yeah, but when?!

Post Office Clerk: Eight o'clock tomorrow morning. (Baloo and Kit sigh in relief.) If you'd sent it S-S-T-I-S-D-D. But eighteenth class; uh, about ten weeks. Seven with good behavior.

Baloo/Kit: Ten weeks! (Baloo and Kit face palm each other, groan and then collapse onto the floor.)

End Of Act I At 8:15

Act II

Scene I

(Back at the post office. Baloo is stuttering inside. )

Baloo: Ten weeks?! I won't last ten seconds when Becky finds out. (Baloo runs over to the garbled speech wall.) Eighteenth class division, basement. Come on, Kit! (Baloo and Kit run down the stairs towards the basement. Baloo and Kit run into a door where the Eighteenth Class Postal clerk. (A bird furry) sleeping at his desk as there is cobwebs everywhere.)

Kit: So where's Becky's hundred thousand dollar ticket?

Baloo: Here it comes. (We see the letter coming down the chute as the Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk wakes up.)

Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk: Huh?! What?! Who?! (The letter pops out of the chute and lands on the desk. He gasps in amazement and adjusts his glasses.) A letter. My first letter in forty years!

Baloo: Yeah, and I want it back! I'll fly it to Pazuza myself!

Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk: What?! That would be a federal offense. Nobody can touch mail in transit, excepting postal employees. You paid for it. Hee hee. We're gonna deliver it. We...we...ah...we...ahhh... (Postal clerk falls asleep again.)

Baloo: Well?! Well?! Is something wrong with the letter?!

Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk: No, just trying to remember what to do with it.

Baloo: You deliver it, on the double!

Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk: (The postal clerk walk over to a sorting machine consisting of cubby holes.) It's all coming back to me. First, we (whistling) sort it...Bingo. Then we stamp it. (The clerk goes over to the stamp desk and takes a stamp; and stamps the back of the letter with the word Bingo on it.) Bingo.

Baloo: Oh, come on! Hurry! Hurry! (The postal clerk walks over to the conveyer belt.)

Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk: Then we send it out to the mail boat. (The conveyer belt moves as the clerk is on a red bicycle and riding.)

Baloo: A boat?! Oh, no! A boat will never get to Pazuza on time! (Baloo and Kit are praying now.)

Eighteenth Class Postal Clerk: Oh, not the S.S. Rocket. She's the fastest ship in the fleet. (Baloo runs over and blows on the letter to make it go faster.)

Kit: At this rate, it'll take hours to get aboard. (Baloo goes over and grabs the post clerk and drops him on the ground.)

Baloo: If I can't touch it, I'll help it along. (Baloo gets on the bicycle and rides. The conveyer belt moves faster and leads to the tugboat named the S.S. Rocket. The letter falls off the conveyer belt and into a sack of letters. Baloo and Kit run onto the conveyer belt and outside. They foolishly fall off the conveyer belt and yell and scream and land in the tugboat.) Eh, so where's the fastest ship in the fleet, the S.S. Rocket? (Kit turns around and sees the S.S. Rocket sign on the tugboat.)

Kit: Ohhhhh, look! This is the S.S. Rocket!

Captain Grindstone Griff: Aye, Eighteenth Class Postal Cruiser Deluxe. Captain Grindstone Griff , at your service! (Grindstone is a mandrill furry with a white beard, Don Karnage's gear, blue sweater and postal cap along with a wooden leg on his left leg. Somehow, Baloo and Kit are now inside the sacks. Grindstone gasps.) A letter. My first letter in...(Grindstone grabs the letter.)

Kit: Forty years?! (Kit folds his arms.)

Captain Grindstone: Aye. How did you know?

Kit: Lucky guess.

Captain Grindstone: Pazuza, eh? Must be from the admiral. (Grindstone shifts his eyes and salutes.) Don't worry, men; the battle plans are safe with me. (Grindstone walks over to the wheel.) We'll be crossin' the bay at the airmail station in no time. (Baloo gets out of the sack.)

Baloo: Airmail?! You hear that, Kit? They're sending it airmail. Our troubles are over! (Baloo gets Kit out of his sack.)

Captain Grindstone: Full steam ahead! (The tugboat moves slower than a woman with her baby carriage walking on the dock in the background.)

Baloo: This is full steam?! (Goes over to the Captain.) Captain, we gotta hurry! Another hour and it'll be dark.

Captain Grindstone: All the better to conceal us from our enemies. We'll take them by surprise. (Kit is pointing on the opposite side of the ship.)

Kit: Baloo, look! (Baloo turns around and is shocked to see Rebecca on the docks with the greasy salesman we saw in the post office earlier showing off boats.)

Yellow Suited Salesman: Oh, Miss Cunningham, this one is definitely you.

Rebecca: Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. Do you have it in pink? (Cut back to the tugboat with Baloo and Kit looking on.)

Baloo: Oh, the nerve of that gal spending her money before it's hatched. (Then we hear a speed boat approaching and it comes straight for the tugboat. Baloo grabs a lasso and lassoes the speedboat.) I was looking for a speedboat...and now I got one! (The rope snags Baloo's ankle and he goes flying. Kit is shocked and appalled as Baloo screams. Baloo holds onto the tugboat for dear life.)

Kit: Baloo! (The tugboat gets towed by the speedboat.)

Captain Grindstone: Aye, aye, me hardies! Darn the torpedoes! Batten down the hatches! Full speed aport! (The tugboat is torn apart by the water.)

Kit: Baloo, look out! (The tugboat explodes into a bouy causing Baloo, Kit and Grindstone to fly into the air. Two boards fall onto the water as Baloo lands on them becoming makeshift skies. Grindstone lands on Baloo's back while Kit lands on Grindstone's back. Baloo goes off a ramp and they fly into the air and somehow land on an airfield with buildings in the background. Baloo bumps into a rock as the wood breaks and Grindstone jumps off Baloo and lands on his feet; while Kit jumps off Grindstone and lands on his feet. Baloo looks around and sees airplanes littered on the landing strip.)

Baloo: Oh, man; If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up. (Chuckles.) Pazuza's just a stone's throw away now, kid.

Kit: Look at those babies! (Grindstone walks over to a dog furry and salutes him.)

Baloo: He-hey, have we got the right stuff going for us or what?

Post Clerk Pilot: Good work, Griff. I'll be flying to Pazuza myself. (Grindstone turns around and walks into the hard camera and then turns right and walks stage right to reveal a dog furry with goggles and postal gear holding the letter. He kisses the letter and laughs in a weezely like fashion.) Forty years I've waited for this. (He then cosplays a plane as he runs around.) Make way for eighteenth class! (Grindstone stands there saluting him as Baloo and Kit are confused. He sputters off-screen.)

Baloo: (Chuckles.) He-hey; even he can make it on time in one of those planes...heh heh. (Out from the landing strip comes a red baron seaplane and it's spitting bolts literally out of the plane.)

Post Clerk Pilot: That's it, Matilda; ah-heh heh heh, keep it going and you can do it. (The plane flies stage left as Baloo and Kit follow him collecting the debris coming from the plane and then running to the plane and inserting the debris in the back. The red plane bounces up and down and somehow makes zero contact with the ground and then it flies into the air. Baloo and Kit look on panicky.)

Kit: He'll never make it, Baloo! (The plane sputters and then completely breaks apart. The pilot free falls and Baloo catches him; as the pilot pops his parachute and it covers the two.)

Right Stuff Ralph: Hiya, sonny. Name's Ralph. Right Stuff Ralph, they call me.

Baloo: They would.

Kit: Oh, how're we gonna get Rebecca's letter delivered on time without a plane? Oh, Baloo! She's never gonna trust you again.

Baloo: I know how to get her to trust me. (Baloo takes off the parachute and runs off stage left.) We'll steal her plane. (Kit follows him.)

End Of Act II At 13:45

Act III

Scene I

(Head to Higher For Hire at nightmare with a crescent moon as Baloo, Kit and Ralph walk towards the docks. Baloo goes over to the window. and checks it.)

Baloo: Becky must've fallen asleep. (Ralph is yawning as he checks his watch.)

Ralph: Past my bedtime, too. Say, where's this airoplane you're donating to the Post Office?

Baloo: Sshh! Right over there. (Baloo, Kit and Ralph run stage left.)

Kit: Baloo, this is crazy. Rebecca's gonna hear us take off for sure. (Rebecca opens the door and comes out wearing a pilot's cap and blue coat.)

Rebecca: Baloo? Is that you? (Baloo, Kit and Ralph stop and turn around.) Well, what do you think? It's me, isn't it?

Baloo: Daa, ah, uh, real nice, Becky. I...ummm... (Rebecca walks towards Baloo.)

Rebecca: Gosh, you know that envelope looks familiar...(Baloo blocks Ralph.)

Baloo: Oh, man; look at the time! (Baloo checks his watch.) Sorry Becky, gotta go. Moose season, you know! (Baloo pushes Ralph.) Gotta be early to catch us a chocolate one. Bye! (Baloo, Kit and Ralph go over to the SeaDuck.)

Rebecca: Baloo, if I didn't know better; I'd say that envelope looked just like the one you mailed to Pazuza. (Ralph sidesteps Baloo.)

Ralph: Well, actually, it is going to... (Ralph is gagged by Baloo as he is dragged away stage left by Baloo. Baloo runs over to the SeaDuck and throws Ralph into the SeaDuck via the roof door. Baloo turns around and smiles.)

Baloo: It's no use, Kit. We gotta tell her the truth. (Baloo walks over to Rebecca acting defeated.) It's a letter to Santa. I thought maybe if we promised to be really good this year, he'd cough up a hundred grand for us, too.

Rebecca: (Arms folded.) And why is he wearing a postal uniform? (The engines are started and they roar. The SeaDuck slowly drives backwards. Cut to the cockpit with Ralph flying the plane.)

Ralph: Hey, nice plane, sonny. (Gives Baloo the thumbs up.) But what're all these newfangled dials and buttons for?

Rebecca: And why is he flying my plane?! (Baloo and Kit run towards the SeaDuck and jumps onto the nosecone of the SeaDuck. Baloo runs on the roof of the SeaDuck and opens the side door. Baloo goes inside as Kit magically appears in the SeaDuck out of nowhere as they run into the cockpit. Baloo shoves Ralph out of the pilot's seat as Kit sits down in his seat.)

Baloo: Move it, Ralph. I'm the pilot!

Ralph: Hey, only postal employees can fly the mail! Until this letter's delivered, I'm the only one who can touch these controls. (Ralph folds his arms.)

Kit: Oh, it's twelve hours to Pazuza, eleven o'clock now; that gives us ten hours to get there by eight o'clock. (Kit is checking his watch and the map.)

Baloo: Look, Ralph; I'll make you a deal.

Scene II

(Nightfall as the SeaDuck is flying across the skies. Head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck with Ralph at the controls while sitting in Baloo's lap; making noises as we jump cut to Kit lying down in his seat with the map and his watch. He wakes up as he checks his watch and the map goes flying.)

Kit: Baloo, Baloo! (Baloo is tired and Ralph's still asleep at the controls.)

Baloo: Yeah, Kit?

Kit: It's five minutes to eight o'clock! (Shows the watch as we look down to see the SeaDuck is over the city of Pazuza which is filled to the brim with ships.) And there's Pazuza.

Baloo: Ah, we made it! (Baloo lands the SeaDuck in the street as cars and denizens (a golden bear and a bird) scatter in various directions. A fire hydrant and a lamp pole get damaged as a result. Baloo kicks the navigator's door open and drags out Ralph with him as Baloo and Kit jump down and notice the Post Office down the street.) There's the Post Office! (Jump cut to Baloo and Kit entering the office with Ralph in Baloo's hands.)

Ralph: What gives, sonny? (Baloo plops Ralph on the table.)

Baloo: (Panting.) Emergency Eighteenth Class delivery! (Cut to a brown cat with glasses on at his desk with the mail behind him.)

Pazuza Postal Clerk: Eighteenth class? Huh. Put it on the pile and wait your turn, buddy. (Kit notices the clock on the wall and it's literally one minute away.)

Kit: Baloo, only three minutes left!

Baloo: Oh, my; what a terrible time for me to get a hay fever attack.

Kit: Huh? (Baloo winds up and inhales deeply.)

Baloo: ACHOO! (Baloo sneezes as the letters go flying into the air.)

Pazuza Postal Clerk: Hey, hey! Hey! Hey! (Baloo grabs Ralph and puts him on the conveyer belt.)

Ralph: What's going on? (Ralph gets nailed by various sorting instruments. Ralph grunts.) Hey! (Ralph falls into a sack as Baloo grabs it. Baloo and Kit run out of the office. Baloo checks the letter.)

Baloo: (Panting.) Sweepstakes Office, 3270 Chickapin Hill. Okay, go, go, go!

Ralph: You got it sonny. The mail must get through. Neither storm nor sleet nor gloom...(Ralph slowly walks stage right.)

Kit: Baloo, where is Chickapin Hill? (Baloo looks up and groans panicky before dropping on his back. Kit looks up and he's panicky as the office is literally on top of a large mountain.)

Radio Announcer: Only two minutes to go before that lucky winner Rebecca Cunningham becomes a sore loser. (Kit looks panicky as Baloo gets up in one go. Baloo and Kit run towards Ralph.)

Ralph: Neither hail nor storm...Hail nor snow... (Ralph gets into the mailbox truck and Baloo and Kit get into the driver's seat and drives it. We drive throughout the city.) Nor gloom of...will stay these rounds from their appointed, uh, carrier. (Ralph almost bumps out of the van; but Kit grabs him and hauls him in. Kit checks his watch.)

Kit: One minute, Baloo.

Ralph: Okay, neither sleet nor storm...(Baloo guns the van as we go up the spiral hill to the office of the Pazuza Sweepstakes Office.) Gloom, gloom or hail, doom...doom of night. (Baloo then collides into a lamp post and Kit, Baloo and Ralph literally smash through the windshield and land on the sidewalk with the letter and steering wheel.)

Radio Announcer: Only thirty seconds to go. (Baloo blubbers as the PA system is shown. Baloo grabs him and runs on the sidewalk stage left with Ralph above his head. Baloo runs into the road as a car stops in front of him.)

Ralph: Neither snow nor sleet nor, uh...(Baloo jumps onto the cars and over them. Car horns are honking. Cut to a Thembrian checking his watch at the Sweepskates Office window.)

Radio Announcer: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... (Baloo crosses to the sidewalk as a dognose police officer stops Baloo, laughs and writes a ticket for jaywalking.)

Jaywalking Officer: Well, I'm sorry. (The bells rings as Baloo screams loudly. He throws Ralph as the Thembrian window clerk closes his doors and Ralph splats into the metal window with his head.)

Radio Announcer: Oh, I'm sorry; time's up. (Baloo blubbers like crazy. Kit comes over to console him.)

Kit: There, there, Poppa Bear; it's okay. So what if you blew Becky's chance to be rich and live the good life and do all the things she's always wanted to do? I still think you're the greatest. (Ralph knocks on the metal window of the office and the Thembrian clerk opens it.)

Sweepstakes Clerk: Sorry, deadline's past.

Ralph: (Sighs and salutes himself.) The mail must get through. (The letter lands on the sill as Ralph falls on his back. The clerk notices something on the letter.)

Sweepstakes Clerk: Hey! Did-did you guys know this is a... (Kit turns around and goes to the sill. He grabs the letter and leaves.)

Kit: Yeah, I know. Return to sender.

Sweepstakes Clerk: No, no. That letter. I gotta...Hey, wait a minute! Hey! (Ralph looks at Kit.)

Scene III

(Sky shot of the docks of Higher For Hire as the SeaDuck lands at the dock. There is already a red car, grey limo and a grey boat at the docks already.)

Baloo: Poor Becky. She's gonna have to take all this stuff back. (Baloo and Kit leave the plane and head to the office.)

Kit: Aw, it's only money.

Baloo: Oh, it's not that L'il Birtches. I've been broke all my life. It's just...well, she trusted me. (Out comes Rebecca from the office with presents in her hands.)

Rebecca: Baloo! Kit! Have I got surprises in store for you! (Rebecca gives Kit the presents as she drags Baloo into the office.)

Kit: (Checking the presents.) An Aronka P39, Thunder-Buster. You know how long I've wanted one of these?

Baloo: Uh, Becky... (We head inside the office as it is now a high class area with a piano, candle sticks, golden desk lamps and a chandlier. There is a brown soda pop machine next to the stairs as Baloo notices this and gasps.) What's this?

Rebecca: You always wanted a soda pop machine. Well, here it is. (Baloo grabs onto the machine and cries like a baby.) Oh, Baloo! I...I didn't know it meant so much to you.

Baloo: (Sobbing.) Becky? You're not rich!

Rebecca: (Chuckles.) What did you say? (Baloo takes out the letter from his shirt pocket.)

Baloo: (Sobbing.) We didn't make it to Pazuza in time and it's all my fault! (Baloo throws the letter out the window and into a trash can.)

Rebecca: That means I'll have to send everything back. (They then embrace each other and sob loudly together.) Oh, Baloo; this is my fault. (She brings out a hanky and wipes her eyes.)

Baloo: No, it's not; Becky, it's mine.

Rebecca: Yes, it is. I should've told you what was in the letter, but I didn't trust you. (Rebecca is in Baloo's arms crying.)

Dog Postal Carrier: (Knocking on the door.) Mailman.

Baloo/Rebecca: Go away! (Kit magically appears behind them as he runs away and Kit takes the letter flying into the air.)

Kit: Baloo? It's to us, from Pazuza. It's from the Sweepstakes Clerk. (Kit opens the letter and reads it.) He wants to buy your genuine one of a kind totally unique Eighteenth Class stamp for (Gasps.) a hundred thousand dollars?! (Rebecca laughs like crazy. Rebecca cheers and jumps up and down. Rebecca pulls on Baloo's shirt.)

Rebecca: Where's the stamp? (Baloo looks stunned.)

Baloo: I threw it in the trash! (Cut to outside as a brown dog furry with hair over it's eyes in trash gear throwing debris and the letter into the back of a garbage truck.)

Rebecca: BALOO! (Rebecca, Baloo and Kit run out of the office and chase after the truck.)

Baloo: Hey! Hey, stop! Come back! Come back! (Kit shouts.)

Rebecca: Wait up!

End Of Episode At 21:11

 

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