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Flying Dupes Re-Rant

Reviewed: 03/12/2011
Additional Commentary: 12/12/2021

Cue Ominous Music!

Original Airdate: 08/08/1991 (Syndication), Episode #65 (TaleSpin DVD Volume 3, Disc 2), Episode #57 (Production Order).

Flying Dupes Notes
Flying Dupes Transcript

Well; we finally made it to the end of in my view; the best DTVA show ever. (2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Still is; although Gravity Falls and maybe an upcoming Zootopia series do make a serious challenge to that crown.) While most other series went out with a whimper; or a middling episode; this series went out with a bang both literally and all for the wrong reasons. (Just imagine this; this episode was eight episodes towards the end of the series and was probably going to be released much earlier than it originally was.) Flying Dupes is one of those episodes that truly defines the question: What were they thinking?! Or were they thinking? !It would be easy just to spell it out now; but considering all the stuff that happens in this episode, it would be easier just to wait until the end to explain the fallout of this episode and what might have been. Anyhow; this of course is the last appearance of everyone else not named Don Karnage, Baloo or Shere Khan, (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Well, until adult Kit and Molly would appear for real in Ducktales 2017. At least on television, although several PSA's aired in between featuring a mind blowing moment for Kit and Molly as kids. Also, there are the comics to consider.) and it deals with an angle that has been slowly building since the Thembrian angle started. It also has two Nelevana on storyboards as well. (Those storyboarders are Dale Schott, a regular at Nelevana and David Thrasher; whom is retired now. Come to think about it; this might explain some of the animation mistakes in this episode.)

(So; Flying Dupes' (a parody title of a parody title of Laurel & Hardy's "Flying Deuces") plot is: Baloo is asked to deliver a "house warming present" to the High Marshall who has a new summer home. However; the International Relations Department guy is actually a double agent for a bomb factory in Thembria named Wally, whom said "housewarming surprise" is actually a bomb. Yes; a Jokey Smurf-equse bomb no less! Yes folks; Baloo is basically delivering a bomb to the head of state in Thembria, in order for the bomb factory to revive their business due to an international incident so beyond the pale that the High Marshall (Or Colonel Spigot) would declare war on Cape Suzette. And if the bomb isn't delivered in time, then it blows up in the SeaDuck or in Baloo or Dunder's hands. Meanwhile; the High Marshall has demanded all pilots pass a flight test; including the head of the Air Force Colonel Spigot. Failure to pass the test will result in Spigot getting shot. At least in theory. So Baloo must deliver a bomb while teaching Spigot how to fly because Spigot got the position on a clerical error. Yes folks; this episode got green lighted and past Magon's filter without anyone noticing how incredibly problematic this was, even more so considering what happened a week AFTER this episode aired. I fully explained it in the Review Line; but you can see why this episode got black listed. A moot point now; since the episode is available on DVD for all to see now. I believe it's on iTunes, but this episode is not available on Disney+.) Let's rant on shall we?

This episode is written by Martin Donoff. The story is edited by Duane Capizzi. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation Japan and Hanho Heung Up Company Limited.

We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as we head into the offices of Higher...For...Hire as Rebecca is at her desk with a dog furry in a suit with a briefcase. Baloo is at the steps polishing a golf club with the golf sock and a bucket of water. That dog's head looks SO fake as Rebecca tells him that they (or more to the point; Usland) are not at war with Thembria. (The zipper in the back of the head is clearly shown as early as the first shot of Wally's appearance. They aren't even pretending that this guy is a double agent for Thembrians.) I'm SHOCKED that they aren't considering the number of international incidents Baloo and company committed throughout this series. (I've mentioned them later on in the episode; but the real reason was that the High Marshall doesn't care about war because it's so much easier on your country when you have Colonel Spigot on retainer to give whatever target practice is needed to your soldiers. Assuming they are not using bullets here.) The dog furry knows that and wants to deliver a surprise for peace. Oh, and Baloo gets to volunteer too. Baloo no sells because you cannot just tap dance into Thembria. (Of course you can't. Because if you tap dance in Thembria; you can be shot!) The dog furry goes over to his briefcase on the box and opens it to reveal a poster of Baloo as "Pilot of The Year". Scare quote intentional since Baloo has won this award about three times already in this series. (In this case; it's true because it's a fake award just to lure Baloo into committing an act of terrorism!) Baloo likes it and agrees to the term. The Peace Dog Of Doom gives him a map of the High Marshall's summer home and the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DOOM, which is ticking. The dog furry tells him to deliever the present by three o'clock; or the deal is off. (Codeword: In Thembria; bomb kills Baloo. Although in this episode; it should have killed Nana. Who's Nana you may ask? Stay tuned and find out!) Baloo listens to the ticking as the dog furry puts the present on the desk and proclaims that it's a cuckoo clock. (That's believable; although it would have been even more so if he said "alarm clock" since that is what the ticking sounded like.)

The dog furry gives Baloo the poster as a down payment and walks out. Baloo dances around loving this since his face will be plastered on every post office in town.Rebecca has the map -- which comes OUT OF NOWHERE for logic break #1 -- pointing out that the summer home is DEEP in Thembria and thus it will be tough to get past the checkpoints. (That would be the last line Rebecca Cunningham will ever speak in this episode and in the series outside of the comics. She was NEVER mentioned in Ducktales 2017, which was one of the few things that pissed me off about "The Lost Cargo Of Kit Cloudkicker!" actually. She literally had TWO lines in this episode. Which begs the question: What is the point of Rebecca being in the episode. They could have gotten rid of her; and nothing would have changed much. It could have been constructed as a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode; thus justifying the decision to not have Kit here. Although to be perfectly fair; Dunder is playing the role Kit would have played here so having Kit in this episode would render him as dead weight anyway.) Baloo blows it off because Thembrians use bathtubs instead of bombs (DA DA DAAAAAAAAA!) and he's packing a present for peace. (Jokey Smurf; what have you wrought here?!) We head to a phone booth on the sidewalk somewhere in Cape Suzette, as the dog furry is inside calling one of his friends as he admits that the bomb is on it's way. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAA!) We go to the split screen of doom as we see a thin Thembrian with a white turban, brown coat and white scarf calling from a bomb factory (Check the rockets and cherry bombs in the background) as he addresses him as Wally and he cannot hear him well. (Probably because the IRD guy has masked his Thembrian accent. So Wally and Spigot are the only ones with any sort of accent in Thembria.) Wally unzips the dog mask and reveals himself as a Thembrian warthog. I see he even changed his voice too. (The Bomb Factory leader's name is Mac clear in the audio. I mention this because IMDB claims that his name is Mick. Even Disney Captions has it as Mac. Then again; these are the same fools who thought Guy Herbert from The Mighty Ducks animated series was Guy Hibbert too; and I didn't buy it for one second.)

Wally is Chuck McCann I do believe; Mac is voiced by the late Jim MacGeorge whom passed away in 2021. We get a far shot of Mac's bomb making office as he calls this much better now. Wally then proclaims that if the High Marshall guards find the bomb then the High Marshall will blame Cape Suzette for trying to have him murdered legit. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAA!) An assasination attempt on a head of state?! In a Disney show?! In a show marketed to children?! Nah; I must be watching an Adult Swim cartoon here which has been cleverly disguised to look like a Disney cartoon. After all; TaleSpin is not a Disney Afternoon property. (Of course it isn't because none of the shows are Disney Afternoon brands. The Disney Afternoon was simply a television block. The shows were part of the Disney Television Animation brand, from The Wuzzles to Ducktales 2017 and beyond. Old farts are using the Disney Afternoon brand angle as an excuse to discard most of the cartoons that came after 1997.) Steet said that in doublespeak so it must be true. (Sadly for this episode; this was a Disney show and living proof that Disney was never the squeaky clean company everyone has stereotyped it into. Maybe it's time to retire stereotyping; it's creating a lot of false negatives in the testing.) Anyhow; the High Marshall would then declare war on Cape Suzette (or in roundabout terms; Usland) and the bomb making factory will be back in business. A business getting duped into sending a letter bomb to kill a head of state in order to have a bloody war in order for a business in the business to sell war weapons to a parody of Russia and Nazi Germany?! In a show marketed to children?! Am I in bizzaro world or something?! (Nope; you are witnessing what goes on in the mind of a writer like Martin Donoff. I feel bad for Martin though; because this episode and Flight School Confidential were really great episodes. However; this episode in particular crosses a line nobody should ever cross in children's television. At least Deadly Force was booked in such a way that there was justification for someone to almost die from a gunshot wound. They don't have that excuse in this episode.)

Anyhow; Mac then realizes that the bomb could actually get to the High Marshall and kill him, which he panics since if that happens then TaleSpin would be banned for life from the airwaves or maybe he just cannot declare war. (If that's the case; shouldn't the High Marshall's aide or even Colonel Spigot be the ones declaring war?! Besides; in Time Bandit, Colonel Spigot has no regrets in plunging Earthia into an unjustified war over Usland getting ahead of Thembria by an extra day. Which made the High Marshall look like the diplomatic one in comparsion! Ponder that for a moment.) Wally tells him not to worry because Baloo will NEVER get past the checkpoints which the codes are authorized for use by Colonel Spigot. Well; that is SO reassuring...NOT! (That's before we found out about how Colonel Spigot got to be the commander of the Air Force. As they say: "Only in Thembria"!) By the way; that is it for Higher For Hire and Cape Suzette in general outside of the comics, as the rest of the episode is in Thembria. (Yes folks; the grand finale of this episode takes place in the most coldest country in Earthia, airing in the middle of summer! One of the many reasons why I hate summer and love winter. Well; at least when there is no snow and ice. Then I like summer more. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Higher For Hire's docks in Ducktales 2017, were shown in full bloom, but the office was closed since there were eviction notices on the door. There was signs of the city of Cape Suzette being intact, but the story was focused on the docks anyway.)) We head to Thembria near a landing strip as Sgt Dunder is loading up the High Marshall's airplane while the High Marshall briefs THE ULTIMATE SHORT JOKE! Oh, goody this shall be fun. See; he is the only one who has the right to disturb the High Marshall at his summer home. On the other hand, that means nothing at all because Spigot shouldn't do it.

The reason is that if you disturb the High Marshall at his summer home; SPIGOT WILL BE SHOT! (High Marshall's promos are said as if he is talking to Spigot like it's a normal conversation about what Spigot's job entails. High Marshall doesn't give a damn if what he says is a death threat. I just love how critics are lambasting Pickle & Peanut for making death jokes (never mind Darkwing Duck's Dead Duck was basically the same freaking thing) and ushering death threats and yet, here's TaleSpin doing the same thing. Worse; TaleSpin doesn't mask the death threats. The word kill is used freely, along with shot, dead and die. Again; Disney is not a squeaky-clean company and it's time to put the stereotype to bed. Oh, I cannot wait until I rant on Zootopia, now that I got the DVD! I betcha they are just as flithy as TaleSpin is; maybe even more so.) High Marshall proclaims that all the air vectors in Thembria must be closed because if any pilot violates the High Marshall's order:

Spigot: They will be shot?
High Marshall: No. You will be shot!

That's pretty direct if you ask me. (That's death threat #2 and it assures that Colonel Spigot is FUBARED to boot. I would say this happens only in Thembria; but iCarly's "imeet fred" also used this logic to book Freddie into a submissive corner if you know what I mean.) Colonel Spigot tells the High Marshall not to worry because their pilots do not know what an air vector is. High Marshall blows him off, orders a flying test to all pilots and Colonel Spigot panics as he asks if it applies to top officers like himself. High Marshall ponders over that one and states that he was only applying it to pilots; but likes Colonel Spigots idea and makes the orders clear. The High Marshall enters the plane since if you don't past the pilot test when ordered in Thembria: YOU WILL BE SHOT! Colonel Spigot screws himself again; what a surprise?! (Yup; Spigot fell on his own sword because he continues to let his mouth write cheques that his humming bird rear end cannot cash.) Spigot paces around as Dunder points out the obvious to us. We discover that Spigot is the head of the air force; but has never flown a plane in his life. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Oh, just wait until you find out how Spigot became an air force commander; that is more hilarious than the fact that he hasn't flown a plane in his life. This makes Flight School Confidential and Kit's anger against the system even more justified than it already was.) Dunder tells him the obvious plan and Spigot blows it off because if he does take flying lessons, everyone will declare him a laughing stock. Dunder gleefully answers that one for me. (Dunder points out that he already is and after Flight School Confidential; dear god, can you make Spigot anymore ridiculous?!) Scene changer as we cut to a shot of a linked fence with barbed wire with a sign reading Checkpoint #9998. We pan southwest as we see that the SeaDuck has already landed in front of said checkpoint. Baloo tries to explain to the Nazi wearing Thembrian guard that he is delivering a house warming gift; but the guard no sells. The guard's packing a rifle too which is no surprise because you know it's a special day when you know what doesn't get pulled out. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: 51 out of 65 episodes had at least one gun pulled out. This was a very violent animated series even by 1990 standards.)

Baloo pleads for special clearance; but the guard no sells because only the ULTIMATE SHORT JOKE has clearance and he cannot use it without getting shot, of course. Baloo ponders this one over and the guard cuts Spigot's introduction promo as we cut to Dunder kicking the soda can machine which was invented in the 1920's. Spigot is now the terror of Tiny Tundra according to the guard. (I'm guessing that is the answer to the country of Iceland in real life.) Apparently; Dunder cannot get his soda pop. (You can tell the soda machines are made in Thembria just by that fact alone.) Baloo wants to be excused as he walks straight to Dunder as the guard lets him because he's going to do the standard bomb check. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAA!) Baloo waves him off of course, gets in front of Dunder and they greet. Damn; that was more disturbing than I had intended. I'm a naughty boy today; but not half as naughty as Martin Donoff. (Indeed. Watch Spigot's attitude towards women and his booking names for flying moves later on, they are a riot and a half waiting to happen. In half of those cases, it's not in a good way.) Baloo kicks the machine which Walt Disney Animation Japan (Inc.) completely misses by a foot; but the power of suggestion allows four empty bottles of soda to drop into the slot. Sigh. (It's actually worse than that: Baloo was winding up to kick it; but they released the sound effect of him kicking the machine as he was winding up. Then we never see the machine kicked, we jump cut to the soda bottles coming out of the machine. That is really terrible animation there guys!) Dunder takes one and thanks him. Baloo and Dunder walk over to the barrier. Baloo asks about getting clearance and Dunder no sells as he somehow magically manages to hide the empty soda bottle behind his back and when it returns; it's filled with soda. How about THAT for a funny logic break?! (That bottle of soda in between shots has the power to refill and empty on command. The bottle also has shrinkage and expansion issues as well. Something tells me the Nelevana guys storyboarded those scenes because the animation gets a lot better after the first act.)

Oh and if Spigot opened the vectors; he would be shot. (Of course!) Dunder whisper yells that Spigot is trying to learn to fly and that's a secret, see. Baloo yells out the secret and laughs as Spigot's expense. I see where Huey Duck from Quack Pack got his plan in Feats of Clay. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: For those who think the 1990's were all wine and roses, try watching "Ducks By Nature" and remember, even the people who wrote that episode confessed that it was a total mess on all planes.) Baloo asks how Spigot got to be head of the air force and Dunder calls it a clericial error. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh those wacky Thembrians; what will they think of next? (Oh, let's see; there's the Ivan's scene and something named "Hanging A Spigot" left in the joke gun. Why do you keep saying that 2011 me?! You are just encouraging them now.) Baloo rubs his palms as he has a Krackpotkin plan in mind. Spigot is going to get flying lessons from someone he can trust. I think Pop-A-Bear has a perverted meaning of trust; but it is Colonel Spigot; so it is not. We get another scene changer and a reverse shot of the gate as Baloo, Spigot and Dunder walk towards the barrier. Baloo explains to Spigot that if he gets lessons from a non-Thembrian; then no one will know his secret. (Nice one Pop-A-Bear, nice one.) Spigot gleefully blows off Dunder for telling him and then asks Baloo when they can start. HAHA! Baloo and Spigot walk to the plane while Baloo tells him to call off the bomb squad as there are three of them in protection suits and iron masks with plate armor. Overkill?! From Thembria?! Nah; can't be. (Geez; after Spy In The Ointment; can you really blame them?) Colonel Spigot tells one of the bomb squad Thembrians to unhand the present because Colonel Spigot is taking over the SeaDuck BABEE...but not for flying lessons of course. HAHA! (Yeah; because Spigot is going to do things in the SeaDuck that have absolutely nothing to do with flying. "Hanging a Spigot" is a sex joke you know; not a laughable flying move! What is wrong with you people?!) One of the members of the bomb squad salutes him, throws the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DOOM back into the SeaDuck and it crumples.

Oh, it is still ticking which means it's a time bomb and not the usual present Jokey Smurf uses, which explodes when it is opened. (Other than that; good thing they retired it. Jokey Smurf is a one joke gimmick at best. Brainy Smurf might be a jerk; but at least he has a personality.) Baloo shows off the SeaDuck, which is 12 cylinders of cloud hopping fun according to him. Spigot takes a look and panics because it's huge to him, see. Baloo blows him off nicely and grabs him because there's nothing to worry about. I beg to differ, Pop-A-Bear. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAA!) Baloo enters the plane from the navigators side despite appearning like he was entering from the pilot's side as Spigot is plopped down on the seat with Spigot blowing off Baloo all the way. Spigot plays with the controls as Baloo sees one problem already: Spigot's legs are too short since Spigot cannot reach the brake pedals. Baloo proclaims that Spigot should stay in the navigator's seat and let a pro do it which Spigot refuses because he must fly himself and his men can still see him. Good point there, sir. (Wait; if you do that, doesn't that mean that they will laugh at you for flying?! Considering that the flying lessons didn't take, this was pointless and Spigot should have stayed in the navigator's chair.) Baloo realizes this and has another Krackpotkin plan in mind. We cut to an outside side shot of the SeaDuck as Dunder guards the plane, sort of. I see he's finished his soda pop (Yeah, we all wish that, but Walt Disney Animation Japan (Inc.) refuses to bite.) as we cut to the gate. Baloo brings out Colonel Spigot wearing plungers. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Oddly enough; the plungers appear for most of act I; then disappear from act II during the Ivan's scene; then Spigot puts them back on and wears them until he reaches the summer home, then removes then and wears them again during the final scene. You got all that?!) Spigot's struggling to walk to the plane and balance himself is quite funny. Baloo tells Dunder that he's going to be poster pilot of the year. Ummm; change pilot to terrorist and you're almost there Pop-A-Bear. Baloo opens the door and Spigot tries to hop in; but the plungers are stuck to the snow. Huh?!

Baloo grabs him and plops him on the seat and the plungers can now reach the pedals. Spigot still panics as Baloo tells him to fasten the seatbelt. Spigot blows him off accusing him of thinking he'll crash and Baloo tries to lie through his teeth. Spigot turns on the engines proclaiming that he needs no stinkin seat belt. He must be against vaccines too; since he'll probably blame them for stunting his growth. (Uh huh, we're still waiting for the evidence on that one.) We get the SeaDuck driving as Dunder gets entombed in snow of course. Baloo hangs onto the window edge yelling at Spigot to turn off the SeaDuck. Spigot is at the controls as he pulls the lever (JESUS~!) which Baloo panics and the SeaDuck bounces through snowbanks. See; this makes the BS&P decisions not look so obvious and I praise Mr. Donoff for not stooping here. Baloo is in panic mode as the SeaDuck nearly collides with a black/red trim Thembrian plane, which should give away the fact that Wally is on it and a traitor. (Nope; Wally's plane didn't show up until after the SeaDuck took off and the air vectors were cleared by Spigot.) We somehow pull back and head straight into Dunder, who not only has refilled his soda bottle; it's filled with cola now, who bails like crazy. That is sloppy editing there guys. (Yup.) Spigot wonders what that is as Baloo finally gets into the SeaDuck with a thud and takes the keys out. The SeaDuck bounces over the gate and sticks to the snow like a lawn dart. Baloo proclaims that they are still stuck on the ground as Baloo drops on his ass in the snow which Dunder runs in. We hear Dunder is worried about Baloo letting Spigot fly the SeaDuck. See; Spigot crashed his jeep eleven times this week alone. I didn't even know Spigot HAD a jeep. BS&P RULEZ~! (Actually; Jymn Magon is the BS&P; so stop dissing it 2011 me! It makes me look bad as a commentator.) Baloo then proclaims that he would be nuts to allow Spigot to fly the SeaDuck. (Of course, it would be nuts to let Spigot ride a bicycle; but then again, Thembria would be way too dangerous for a bicycle due to Mr. Icy Roads en masse.) Which means that Spigot will fly the SeaDuck of course as Baloo states that he'll watch from the co-pilot's spot while Baloo delivers the present to the High Marshall. Oh; and it's all a secret too.

Another scene changer as we see the SeaDuck flying in the sky as it flies around above the checkpoint as Baloo has demonstrated lesson number one and it's off to lesson number two which is clearing air vectors. (2016 Kit Cloudkicker Says: I call shenenigans on this one, Pop-A-Bear! 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I call bullshit on this one, Pop-A-Bear! Raw unadulterated BS!) I see Dunder is still drinking on the job as Walt Disney Animation Japan (Inc.) doesn't seem to get this spot right. (It's non-alcoholic; honest! Because if you drink liqour in Thembria...you guessed it.) Spigot is sitting in Kit's seat and I could call it you know what; but Eisner has buried Kit for good; so no use crying over spilled milk. I'll leave that to Steet. POW! OUCH! Ummm... (You can be so mean at times 2011 Me! Somehow; this was less mean than me today!) Baloo tries to give Spigot the transmitter; but Spigot bats it away because he wants lesson number three, because the High Marshall has ordered all air vectors to be shut down. I wish that the Gruffi pose would be a signal to Spigot being shot because that would be hilarious and both Rebecca and Kit would be happy to see justice being served on so many levels. (I betcha Donald Trump would be the gunman on the grassy knoll, too.) Baloo of course is piloting with his feet again as he reminds Spigot that if the air vectors aren't cleared than they will have to turn back and if you turn back without passing your flying test: YOU WILL BE SHOT! (Yeah; because we haven't driven the point home yet that Spigot cannot do anything without being shot.) I see Dunder's soda bottle has refilled itself again, then it seems to be completely empty and upside down when Spigot talks into it. HAHA! Funny spot; not so funny logic, as when Baloo gives Spigot the transmitter -- after cutting more funny stuff -- the soda bottle is filled with cola again and defying gravity. That must be Thembrian Whack Juice. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHACK! OUCH! Ummmm... That sure hit the spot. (It sure did; along with your piss poor rejected Rhinokey jokes.) Spigot grabs the transmitter, orders the air vectors to be cleared, the air vector officer voice sells it.

Then the officer asks why Spigot is in a foreign aircraft and Spigot blows it off because it has absolutely nothing to do with flying lessons whatsoever. Pay no attention to the short joke in the navigator's chair. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Wow; you know it's the end of a series when my former self is just milking the annoyance factor to all it's worth.) The SeaDuck successfully flies away as we see another checkpoint with a barrier. A Thembrian Transport Plane arrives, out comes Wally wearing a fur coat stepping on the right wing and blowing off the Thembrian guard who is shaving ice and wearing a black helmet. So, he's Bobo's father?! (Actually; I do believe that this is the same guard and same checkpoint as in the previous scene. Not that it matters either way; but still...) Apparently; it's somewhat warm since the ice sounds like it's melting as Wally asks for a bomb check, the guard no sells and yawns. Wally blows him off and then is forced to duck as another plane flies through above his head. The guard informs Wally that the air vectors are cleared and Wally begins to panic. Yeah; someone didn't think his plan all the way through. See; if the High Marshall does die legit; then Colonel Spigot would take his place and the High Marshall is the only leader with any kind of smarts whatsoever. (You're acting like this is a BAD thing 2011 me...oh, wait. Damn!) Oh; and when Wally asks about the SeaDuck; the guard tells him that he left ten minutes ago. Wally panics a lot and gets back in the plane and flies off proclaiming that if the High Marshall goes through the roof; bomb sales will go through the floor. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAAA! See, I can make annoying catchphrases too, Bubsy!) Scene changer and we return in the cockpit of the SeaDuck as we get a shot of the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DOOM. Baloo shows him the windshield wipers and Colonel Spigot blows him off because he wants to fly. Baloo is realizing that Spigot is not Kit Cloudkicker because Kit is a child and Spigot's a manchild. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Let Spigot take over. Spigot tries to get there; but the plungers keep screwing with his walking. HAHA! Dunder comes over for assistance and unpops Spigot; but one of the plungers nails Baloo right in the kisser. HAHA!

Baloo plays dwarf tossing with his face (One guess who plays the dwarf here?!) as the SeaDuck has some trouble flying. Baloo finally unpops the plungers and the plungers stick to the roof as Spigot is upside down. Spigot believes that he can do it this way and quite frankly; it cannot be any worse than doing it the other way. Sadly; before it can really get good, Baloo grabs Colonel Spigot and puts him upright on the pilot's seat. (Dammit Baloo! I realize that moral guardians would hate this; but this is no worse than flying the SeaDuck with your feet. Which of course, he does in this episode for one last time.) Oh dear; why do I get the feeling the spots are about to commence right now?! The SeaDuck takes a nosedive as Baloo tells Colonel Spigot to take the steering wheel and Spigot decides to sell properly this time. He pulls back on the stick way too hard, the SeaDuck does some barrel rolls in the air, makes it to the top of the steep climb and then the SeaDuck goes into a tailspin. Which you can tell because Colonel Spigot is seem looping around. Oh! and BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Of course it's the final episode when 2011 me is really pushing the envelope of being annoying even to 2016 me!) Spigot states that this thing isn't flying right and orders Dunder to fix the plane while it is in the air in a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!). (Of course; because if you don't blame Dunder for everything, you can be fed to polar bears. Heck; it's the same way his grandmother went and grandma jokes are suppose to be funny. Noah Z. Jones said that in double speak; so it must be true. WHY NOAH, WHY?! Okay; I'm done.) Dunder is taking some decent bumps; but sadly the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH doesn't explode. That bomb is tougher than Steve Williams. Which one? Does it really matter? (Ummm, nope.) The SeaDuck is in danger near a snowy mountain range and that signals for Baloo to take over as he takes the stick and manages to make the SeaDuck take a few more decent bumps off the snowy mountains before finally flying away into the sky.

Baloo figures that this is it as Baloo declares Colonel Spigot has passed the Baloo flying test. Not even Joe McGee would approve of such a test and Colonel Spigot agrees with me. He refuses to leave stating that he wants to fly smoothly. Well; you gotta give him credit, he doesn't give up that easily. (Well; Dunder has already admitted that he crashed his jeep eleven times. What is the defintion of insanity again?!) The plane continues to fly like Kit does in Flight School until Baloo decides to invoke the next Krackpotkin plan:

Baloo: Look, Mount Moreslush!

Yeah; like Colonel Spigot is going to sell that...and lord and behold; Colonel Spigot and Sergeant Dunder (no less) look out the window; selling it like champs. That was pretty funny as Baloo then takes out the REDNECK AUTOPILOT OF DOOM (The crowbar in case anyone was watching.), puts it onto the steering stick and the plane returns to smooth sailing. Colonel Spigot turns around and see that the thing is running as Baloo would say: smooth as a baby's bottom. I didn't need that image Pop-A-Bear. (Well; you got that image in A Bad Reflection On You Part One with Kit grabbing the baby's diaper saving a baby, so you're way too late on that one 2011 me!) Colonel Spigot is proclaiming victory for doing very little as he now wants to go to Ivan's. Baloo asks Dunder about Ivan's and Dunder proclaims that it's a place where all “good pilots” go in Thembria on their lunch break. Scare quotes intentional. We see Ivan's and it looks like Louie's only with mountains, ice, snow and a multi-manhooded airplane outside and two other planes on the pan shot. Baloo apologizes to Spigot because they cannot go to Ivan's today because it's 2:30 pm and he has to be somewhere at 3:00 pm. Spigot blows him off because he's the flying ace and they are stopping. Baloo blows him off because he's the teacher, see. Spigot gets on the transmitter and orders all air vectors to be closed. HAHA! (Take that Pop-A-Bear! You are a crappy teacher anyway.) Baloo sits in the navigational seat and states that they can zip in and zip out; but Spigot blows off that idea. See; the 3 o'clock stage show is on as Baloo is flustered when he goes over to Dunder and proclaims that he has a bad feeling this is going to blow up in his face. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAAA!) We then pan down to the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DOOM still ticking like usual on the floor and that ends the segment almost twelve minutes in. (This is a case of a really problematic story told very well; with the animation team screwing it up. The good news now is that the animation gets better. The bad news is; the episode gets a lot scarier.)

After the commercial break; we cut to a shot of the SeaDuck on the ice already as we pan east to Ivan's complete with Russian music because we need at least one stereotype in this episode somehow. Oh; and the N in Ivan is flickering out for a nice touch as we cut to inside to a grandfather clock showing it's 2:30 pm. (I should note that it turns two thirty here despite the fact that Baloo already said it was two thirty back in the SeaDuck before the commerical break. Either that's a logic break; or Baloo's watch is at least ten minutes fast.) We see Baloo pacing around Dunder, who is holding the present bomb proclaiming that he couldn't leave it in the plane since this is a bad neighborhood. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there, sir. (Apparently; this segment of Thembria is overloaded with polar bears, or the snoring is so bad that it causes presents to have legs and run away as fast as it can.) Baloo wants to leave as we pan over and see the bartender Ivan in the background polishing mugs, I think. (He was doing exactly that and he never speaks for some odd reason. So yes; the bar has more personality than the guy who owns the damn place. That sounds typical of Thembrian denizens actually.) Colonel Spigot is on the table relating some of his BS stories like Monty on speed to a bunch of Thembrian pilots in bomber jackets sleeping and snoring. HAHA! If only the Rescue Rangers had taken the hint on the Aussie Stereotype. One of them is even the pilot from Flight School Confidential! Oh, and Spigot calls this BS story explosive! (DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAA!) Baloo comes in to grab Spigot; but Spigot brushes him off because he doesn't want to miss the dancing girls and orders everyone to relax. I think they already jumped the gun on you there, sir. (That sounds like another joke about Spigot getting shot 2011 me.) We see Dunder near the clock as it's 2:35 pm as Baloo pushes Dunder stage left and goes behind the curtains with him because we need some dancing girls. I think we all know where this is going now. (Yeah; because it's time for the contracted Looney Tunes bashing segment Michael Eisner mandated. And somehow, this one was really funny.)

We head outside as Wally's plane makes a landing in front of the SeaDuck without further incident. Wally jumps out and wants some lunch as he clearly sees the SeaDuck. Wally bails and we get another shot of the grandfather clock as Baloo sets the clock ahead one half hour. So, we are in Newfoundland. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Wow; 2011 me is finally stooping to Newfie jokes. You know it's the end of the series right there.) We get the spotlight on the stage and I see the stage has gained at least one nailed Ivan sign since we last saw it. Baloo proclaims that it's now time for the three o'clock show and Spigot twirls his hat and whistles. (Proving that Spigot has no sense of taste nor decency.) Spigot wants some dancing girls as we see he's standing on three thick blue books. The door opens and in comes Wally. The curtains open and here comes Baloo and Dunder in female outfits dancing and singing the "Bugs Bunny Resume Promo" completely off-key. Oh, my sweet Jesus! Yes; they mocked Bugs Bunny; but that was too freaking funny. See; if Eisner wanted to mock Bugs Bunny as old and aged; subtleness is the way to go and this scene proves it because I am laughing my ass off seeing them try the ending spot from the Bugs Bunny short where Bugs gets into show business. I'm not going to post the quotes here; watch the scene on Youtube; it's still too funny. (At least Bugs Bunny can sing; and these two cannot sing to save their life. The fact that Spigot sold this like the greatest thing he has ever seen made it even funnier. This is the definition of "Art Of The Mommyland"; whose head of state is a man.) Wally practices the fine art of not being seen as Colonel Spigot goes all hubba on us. I'm not surprised at all that Spigot is a sexist. This is a dictatorship after all. (Yup.) Dunder bails stage left as Baloo goes to the curtain since Spigot wants an encore. Wally runs on stage and notices Baloo right away demanding to know where the package is and Spigot invokes the book tackle to bump him stage left. Jeepers; that was a good shot too and the bump is on-screen as he falls into a wooden containers of pickled...ummm...pickles. See; Spigot saw her first as Wally is stuffed with dill pickles in his mouth. HA!

Spigot then puts the books down and gets on top as he cuts his usual promo for real thriteen minutes in. Spigot takes off the cap and looks all cute as SHE-BALOO asks for a plane ride and remembers to call Spigot an He-munchkin. (Because Spigot thinks he's the communist version of He-Man. He wishes he was that short.) Spigot is stunned as SHE-BALOO grabs Spigot and bails stage right. SHE-DUNDER has the present bomb and tries to bail; but Wally runs like an easterly wind, grabs it back and bails stage left. She-Dunder calls Wally a thief and tackles him down by the ankles. Wally is tripped as the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH falls in front of a pickle waiter. I'm beginning to think that Bart's Deli IS one of Ivan's customers. (I would not be shocked if that was the case since Thembrian descendents do live in Cape Suzette and outside of Thembria in general.) Think about that for a while as the pickle waiter slipped on the liquid pickles on the floor and boots the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH away. The waiter trips and the glass jar of pickles falls right on top of Wally's head. That was one sick spot made sicker by the fact that none of the glass jars shatter upon impact. (So we have guns pulled out and shots to the head to complete the cycle. As if the whole plot of this episode wasn't enough to kill the show.) The JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH finally lands onto the wooden stage and it still doesn't explode. (Because it's timed 2011 me. It seems bombs are the only products that are "State of the Art" in Thembria. Why doesn't that surprise me?!) The curtain opens and the "REAL" Thembrian dancer (Who happens to be male in a cruel twist of irony.) who dances the stereotypical Russian dance. Wally climbs onto the stage and crawls to get the present; but the Russian Dancer screws him good by dancing and kicking the present into the air. HAHA! The present does some flips and it lands right in the arms of Colonel Spigot whom She-Baloo puts down on the floor and he gives the present to She-Baloo while calling him her Eskimo Pie. Oh lord; that is so suggestive that it isn't funny. (That was a wee bit over the racist line there, Martin.) Baloo and Dunder run out of Ivan's as Wally calls out for his hope chest.

However; he is totally screwed now as the Russian dancer kicks Wally and does a beautiful spin-o-rama in the process. Wally gets dumped into the pickle barrel taking another MAN-SIZED bump. I am so loving this episode now. We cut to inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Spigot is in the pilot's seat putting on his plungers again. (Good thing they showed it because that was begging for a logic break to happen.) He asks if the girls would like a spin in the SeaDuck. She-Baloo proclaims that she has never flown in a plane before and then as Spigot tries to start the engines they stall. She-Baloo tells him to release the pre-ignition energy catalyzer (I cannot believe Open Office doesn't see it as a word.). He pulls on it -- which is like starting a lawn mower, sort of -- and the engines start. Never flew in a plane before; sure She-Baloo. (When even Spigot thinks that there is something rotten about this; you know Baloo's a big fatass liar.) Spigot is shocked and he asks them if they are sure that they never flew in a plane before. Dunder whisper yells that Spigot will kill them -- death reference number one for the episode -- if he finds out and Baloo whisper yells that Spigot will kill them if he tries to fly the plane -- death reference number two for the episode --. (Considering that 90's Adventure Bear can only say destroy and execute, this makes me not take him seriously as someone who ushers death threats. I'm just saying, BS&P.) She-Baloo tells Spigot that they need to get to the 3:15 show and Spigot plunger walks with them to the back. Both She-Baloo and She-Dunder go inside the cargo hold and Spigot slams and barricades the door behind them. Spigot proclaims that it's time for the ride of their lives and calls them his little snow cones. YIKES! Spigot returns to his seat and starts flying the SeaDuck with Wally chasing him as Spigot blows him off for being such a loser and to find his own woman to rape. Okay; I made up the rape part as the SeaDuck flies into the sky with the greatest of ease. (That was so horrible of you to say that 2011 me! Sadly; I have a disgusting feeling Spigot would sexually assault these women since I don't know how informed consent laws work in Thembria; and quite frankly, I shudder to think if there are any in Thembria to begin with.)

I see Spigot has the takeoff part down pat. It took three times for Kit to do it and Spigot only two I should point out. (Sorry Kit; got to call it the way I see it.) However; his mid-flying is pretty bad as the SeaDuck is in the sky and does several barrel rolls before flipping up-side down which causes She-Baloo and She-Dunder to have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't at sensitivity training. Colonel Spigot then flips the SeaDuck right side up as it was still unstable. Baloo is fed up now as he and Dunder change back into themselves and Baloo's worried that Colonel Spigot is going to turn the SeaDuck into a meat locker. (That was a bad choice of words there, Pop-A-Bear.) Baloo opens the side door and we have wind whipping. Ah; I see Drake Mallard's voice is working well as we speak. BLAM! HEE HEE! MISSED AGAIN! YOU ARE NOT.....POW! OUCH! Ummm... (Geez; you seem to hate Darkwing Duck fans now 2011 me. Whatever you say.) Dunder gives Baloo a boost up onto the left wing and then Baloo helps Dunder up as they slam against the left wing. (Which later on, Baloo somehow crawls back to the left wing with Dunder. Again; the wonders of Baloo's physical abilities is amazing. Who needs these muscleheads with steroid like bodies?!) Baloo then flies back stage left as Baloo holding onto the tailsection of the SeaDuck. Baloo proclaims that he cannot believe he's doing this just to become famous. After this episode; he will realize that it was for all the wrong reasons. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAA!) We head back to the cockpit as Colonel Spigot flying like a maniac. The SeaDuck cuts in front of Wally's plane and it goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!). Wally grabs the transmitter and calls for the big yellow plane as Colonel Spigot has the headphones on. Wally tries to warn him about what he is doing, Spigot crumbles the headphones and throws the transmitter away because no one tells him he cannot fly. Ah; I see he has the Kit Flight School Confidential attitude on full blast today. Glad to see the ULTIMATE SHORT JOKE learning something not from Pop-A-Bear. (Spigot is determined to make this last episode be as ridiculous as only he can make it. He really loves his Mommyland; sadly, he doesn't really love himself.)

Wally is finished now -- nice touch to have the headphones short circuit -- as the THEMBRIAN CLONES OF ABMONINATION arrive in their planes and they throw bath tubs at his plane. (They were also throwing iceboxes at the planes as well as a toxic substance later on.) Too funny as one of them nails the tailsection of the plane -- which is the weakest spot -- and completely destroying it. The plane goes into a nasty tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) and crashes onto the icy ground into so many pieces that there is nothing left but Wally, his seat and the control stick as he crashes into the snowbank. Wow; Wally did something even LAUNCHPAD couldn't do. Think about that for a minute and sulk. (Wally buries himself in a snowbank and he's going to wish he was dead soon enough.) We then cut to the Thembrian Air Farce...ERRRR...I mean Force stalking the SeaDuck as we cut to Baloo and Dunder hanging from the roof of the SeaDuck. Huh?! (You deeply underestimate Baloo's abilities don't you 2011 me? You expect Kit and maybe even Rebecca to pull this off; but not Baloo?! Shame on you then!)) Baloo reminds Dunder about the air vectors since Spigot forgot to re-open them as the Air Force shoots bullets and since they are yellow flashes; this is Walt Disney Animation Japan animating here. Bullet holes abound onto the SeaDuck as Baloo proclaims that the next lesson is getting blown out of the sky in five easy steps. (DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAA!) We get a shot of the Air Force gun firing at rapid fire to end the segment almost sixteen minutes in. Despite the animation mistakes; this has been a humdinger of an episode. Now we are finally at the final segment of the entire TaleSpin series after nearly a year of re-ranting. Let's take a deep breath and... (Geez; I need an oxygen tank now after the third act was over since we come to the semi-payoff of Spigot's flying and the climax of Baloo delievering the bomb that slaughtered Martin Donoff's cartoon writing career. Seriously; it's going to get even more ridiculous now.)

After the final commercial break of the series; we continue on with Baloo and Dunder still hanging on and the bullet holes from earlier are STILL there. Nice touch there animators. Dunder asks what to do now, Baloo proclaims that they cannot slide off since they fall to their deaths and staying there is a no-no too. The shooting continues some more and misses Dunder by about three inches give or take an inch. YIKES! We are up to 0.5 Trigun now. Thankfully; some of the shots go through the roof and Spigot is forced to dodge them for logic break number three for the episode since the shot should have hit the navigational chair; not near Spigot's chair. Minor; but still annoying. (Although that would still be pretty scary regardless.) Spigot protests this outrage as Dunder and Baloo dodge a bath tub which bounces off the SeaDuck's roof for fun. Colonel Spigot takes the transmitter and demands them to seize fire because he's the leader and if you fire on the leader in Thembria: YOU CAN BE SHOT!! Sadly; the whole thing blows up since he destroyed the headphones part earlier. Nice attention to detail there, guys. We then see one of the Thembrian planes fly over Baloo and Dunder on the sky shot. We then head to the cockpit to see a Thembrian Pilot pull the lever (JESUS~!) as the trapdoor opens and Baloo says goodbye while Dunder says "baloney". (Who's the serious one here?! Because I cannot buy either one of these guys seriously thinking that it's all over for them.) Baloo is SHOCKED as the pilot invokes the...wait for it...THE LUNCH MEAT OF DOOM; which actually hits right. Hey; Walt Disney Animation Japan is animating; what did you expect?! (Which means the soda machine bottle mistakes were of Hanho Heung-Up's doing. Why doesn't that surprise me?!) Baloo is SHOCKED as Dunder explains that they don't use bombs because they are not at war. Well; not yet considering the way things are going now. (Yeah; only Dunder would say that Thembria is not at war with anyone because Spigot could have fooled me in Time Bandit.) Colonel Spigot is ticked off and the urge to get shot is rising now. (We're still waiting for that, High Marshall.) Colonel Spigot unintentionally pulls the stick forward and the SeaDuck goes into a dive as Dunder tries hard to keep Baloo from falling as the Air Farce...Force follows them.

Baloo appear in the front of the SeaDuck and pleads for Colonel Spigot to pull up on the stick. Spigot no-sells because Baloo's in the way...both ways. Cannot argue with him on that exchange as he decides to make a left turn; but pushes to the right and then goes to the left as the SeaDuck starts to stabilize. However; that is too low for the Air Farce as they live up to their name and their noses take a couple of decent bumps into the snowbank mountains. Okay that is a great move. (Uh oh! I do not like where this is going...) So, what does Spigot calls this awesome piloting move...wait for it...wait for it some more. It's called: Hanging A Spigot. (Instant head-desking ensues. Half of them suffer brain damage, the other half suffer concussions. One or two legit die from it.) OH MY GOD! HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS AND OUR PANTS~! Seriously; did Martin Donoff think that the moral guardians would NOT notice that?! (Why are you surprised 2011 me?! This is the same writer who didn't realize how problematic this entire plot is in general and the flying lessons are just icing on the cake. George Bush Senior a week later was suffering a figural heart attack over this; although it's as fake as Fritiz Von Erich's one in Christmas of 1987. Although George's does have some justification for it.) Baloo opens the door, both he and Dunder plop into the navigational seat and floor in that order. Baloo is ticked off as he grabs Colonel Spigot and plops him behind the pilot's seat as Baloo retakes control of the SeaDuck. I'm safe to say that Colonel Spigot has officially pass the Baloo flight test; regardless if Baloo believes it or not. (I certainly don't; not after that booking name for a flying move. By the way; "Hanging A Spigot" is a double eterande for "hanging a penis"; but it can also be symbolic of Spigot getting hanged after he has been shot, as per The Time Bandit. Why is every production that is delayed for months before airing take place in Thembria in this show?! Geez; and Disney was shocked when the USSR dropped TaleSpin from their airwaves in it's first run? Luckly it returned in 1997 in Russia and became a cult hit there. Times changes, even in communist countries.)

Colonel Spigot dusts himself and unbarricades the door as he wants to do some kissy-kissy stuff with his little ice floes because he did "Hang A Spigot". I am never going to get over that one no matter how incredibly funny and stupid it is all at the same time. (No crap; Sherlock!) Oh; and Spigot has been duped as there is nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING in the cargo hold. See; make the joke and then pay it off. (No kidding?! I mean; the episode title is Flying Dupes after all and we're not done in making Baloo and Spigot into big dupes either.) Spigot wants to know what happened to the babes as we head to the icy ground somewhere in Thembria where Wally's plane crashed. Wally pops from the snowbank on the pan shot and yells for help. (Because he's stuck in a snowbank, you see.) A Saint Bernard runs in with the barrel around it's neck and Wally invokes it to pull himself from the snowbank. (Wait a minute?! That dog looks familiar. Is that Nana from Peter Pan?! Why, yes it is! So we have cameos from Lady & The Tramp, Pete's Dragon and Peter Pan. I don't count Captain Hook's appearance since he appeared in Raw Toonage, which so happened to have Don Karnage as a guest host. There's no way I'm buying that Hook would beat Karnage in a real fight. No freaking way. You wonder why I don't like Michael Eisner?!) Wally stands up and proclaims that he needs to stop the bomb as he runs off stage right with the Saint Bernard following behind. (Why do you need to stop the bomb?! If the High Marshall cannot declare war, then why not have you, Wally; declare yourself the High Marshall and declare war yourself. It wouldn't make Thembria any less ridiculous than it already is right now.) Now we finally arrive at the High Marshall's summer home -- helpfully labeled as such on the gate -- as we zoom out and see a solider guard pacing around with a rifle near the guard home where it's smoking from the chimney. The High Marshall's summer home looks like Prison Island from Bringing Down Babyface, which shows just how cold and cruel the High Marshall really is. (You should see his bathroom; since that's where he is right now.)

We get a closeup of the Nazi Thembrian pacing around and then cut to the SeaDuck in the background as Spigot, Dunder and Baloo walk in next to the barbed wire fence with the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DOOM. Spigot realizes that it's the High Marshall's summer home. NO?! REALLY?! Baloo swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (son for a gun) as Spigot panics because if the High Marshall sees Colonel Spigot: HE WILL BE SHOT! (And he will be shot without his plungers too. That's really sad folks.) The guard gets in front of them, asks who goes there and that is the final character with a voice introduced in the entire television series right there. He also has his rifle on as Baloo explains that he is here to deliver a house warming present to the High Marshall while Colonel Spigot hangs on Baloo's back the entire time. The guard blows him off because he has orders to refuse anyone resembling magazine salesmen. (How does Baloo resemble a magazine salesman? I don't know!) Then the guard notices Spigot and salutes him. Colonel Spigot drops on his back with a good bump as he panics and wants everyone to shut up. Sadly; the guard has the megaphone and alerts the High Marshall that Colonel Spigot is here to see him as we zoom out. HAHA! Spigot realizes that he's seriously gone as Baloo gives him the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH because the High Marshall might forgive him if he has something nice for his summer home. (I don't understand why Spigot would say "gone" here since you can say dead on this show. Heck; Jamie even called himself a deadman in Fluppy Dogs for goodness sake. Besides; Spigot is not going to die, even if he has attempted so brilliantly to kill us laughing.) Spigot walks in with the present towards the summer home as Baloo laughs it up and even calls Spigot a dupe. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (Yes; but what a dickhead Baloo is. Baloo should be delivering the thing because it goes against the stips anyway. So if Spigot delivers the package, then he's pilot of the year by proxy. What a dupe Pop-A-Bear is?! Don't worry though; because none of this is going to matter.) Dunder and Baloo walk towards the SeaDuck with each other proclaiming that he's famous now. (Not according to the stips; but that's a moot point now anyway.)

Spigot walks towards the iron door of the summer home and here comes Wally mushing with the Saint Bernard. The Saint Bernard stops on a dime and flips Wally over his head. Wally flies off into an off-screen bump stage left. The guard takes some snow in the face for good measure, too. Wally recovers and yells that there is a bomb in the High Marshall's summer present. The guard panics and bails stage right like a scalded dog or a scalded warthog or most accurately, ham. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Now that is a dickish swine of Cape Suzette move there 2011 me! Well played there.) Dunder shrugs his shoulders in confusion as Baloo and Dunder go over to Wally, dusting the snow off of himself. Baloo asks Wally why he thinks there is a bomb in the present. Wally takes the dog mask from earlier and puts it on to officially blow his cover. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Now there's a first: Someone blowing his cover by putting the mask back on! Normally; it's the other way around.) Seriously; is anyone surprised that Baloo is such a dupe?! (I think dupe is putting it mildly. More like a terrorist who's killed any hopes of a hundred episode series and destroying a writer's career in cartoon writing, that's more like it.) I mean, let's look at all the times the TaleSpin gang committed an international incident in Thembria:

[1.] A Spy In The Ointment with Baloo, Rebecca and Jack Cases doing the gypsy dance. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: With Jack Cases being a mailman cosplaying as a spy, cannot forget that one!)
[2.] Molly and WildCat playing in the snow while smiling and using their imaginations (Which is a capital offense in Thembria on par with Nuclear Halocaust.) in Flight of the Snow Duck.
[3.] Almost screwing Spigot's presentation of the golden sprocket in The Golden Sprocket of Friendship. (And that one had dynamite hotdogs to boot!)
[4.] Three words: The Time Bandit. (Not only causing an international incident in storyline; but exposing two writers who story edit their own stuff for the hacks that they are.)
[5.] Kit Cloudkicker's disgracing of the Great Patriotic Flounder just so he could fly in Flight School Confidential. (Oh, and Martin Donoff wrote that episode too.)
[6.] Professor Krackpotkins' blowing up the gruel reserve in Gruel & Unusual Punishment caused by Baloo's flying the makeshift plane with a bomb on it. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Another terrorist act and that one didn't get banned somehow.)

I was tempted to include The Idol Rich; but that one was where Spigot screwed himself. (Yeah; because that was really the only episode outside of The Time Bandit to have Spigot as a heel.) Now you would think that after six or seven episodes of causing an international incident that Miss Cunningham would just pull the plug on any deliveries done in Thembria by now. (Well; if this makes you feel any better and you don't respect canonal material; Kit's father in The Organization Phoenix put a stop to that. I guess Rebecca thinks Thembria is the only country dumb enough to do business with a ragtag group like Higher For Hire. Money talks and sexism doesn't weight enough to silence it. The couple of comic appearances still don't have Rebecca getting the message either.) On the other hand; at least Baloo is self-aware since he will be on poster tomorrow as a wanted terrorist! Now you know how Kit must feel right now Pop-A-Bear since he became a BS&P nightmare in Plunder and Lightning Part Three. Wally proclaims that the bomb goes off at exactly three o'clock and Baloo asks Dunder for the time. Dunder goes to his pocket watch and it's one minute to go...oh wait; fifty-nine seconds. (I would have redubbed this line so it was either 90 seconds or two minutes. I'll explain when we get to that point.) We head into the High Marshall's summer home -- which has checkered flooring for those who wonder -- as the doors open and we get mature lighting from Walt Disney Animation Japan Inc. for one last time while Spigot calls for the High Marshall. Spigot slowly walks in, then opens the first door he sees and we see that we are in the High Marshall's bathroom as we see his uniform hanging from a coat rack and giant steps leading to a copper/bronze bathtub. The High Marshall is completely naked in the bathtub filled with water. (Because, why not?!) We zoom into the High Marshall slowly waking up and he's not amused to see Spigot at all as now he must go through the trouble of having him shot. (Well; you cannot fault the High Marshall for having brains. Too bad his resources are too wonky to pull this off.) However; The High Marshall notices that Colonel Spigot has brought him a "house-warming gift".

Colonel Spigot is about to give it to him; but Baloo runs like the wind, grabs the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH and throws it out the window, shattering some glass in the process. The JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH lands right next to the Saint Bernard. Inside the High Marshall is wondering why Colonel Spigot would blow him up in his summer home as he covers his body with the towel, which is pointless considering that we have seen Baloo naked several times in this series already. I club BS&P! (Yeah; and that towel only covers his midsection; but you can still see his naked groin. Also of note; this is the point where the package would have exploded in real time. It annoys me; but it isn't like in Mighty Ducks where the timer was screwed up since the High Marshall wouldn't have gotten killed anyway and neither would anyone else but Nana. Which by the way is animal cruelty, but you already knew that. This can be easily remedied by redubbing one line. Mighty Ducks on the other hand would require a massive retake that would have been too costly for them. So there you go.) Colonel Spigot tries to explain; but Baloo does the talking stating that Colonel Spigot was here to take Baloo's plane so he could save the High Marshall from a bomb being delivered by Wally as he points the accusing finger at him.Wally of course rejects that stating that the bomb was delivered by the swine of Cape Suzette of Baloo. (Which is in fact true; but this is Thembria and we have seen their courts in operation, so I put nothing past Baloo getting away with this anyway. Oh; and I just realized that everytime the Thembrians talk about swine, I cannot help but point out how much projection is oozing out of them considering that warthogs are part of the swine family. Nice one Jymn, nice one.) The High Marshall is confused and I say there's about ten seconds left before the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH actually explodes. (Because we cannot have it explode in Nana's mouth because PETA would explode into a fit of rage and splash wine on someone's fur again. Fur coats, fake or not are not cheap you know!)

Wally claims that he is telling the truth and he will prove it by standing on this spot and not move an inch. That is his fatal mistake as the Saint Bernard arrives and places the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DEATH -- that's the last time I'll ever use this pun in this rant -- right at Wally's feet as everyone scatters. (Ooops! Of course, Wally stands on the spot anyway like a goddamn idiot even though he is lying anyway.) Wally is dead, done, toe-tagged as the bomb finally explodes (off-screen of course) and it makes a pretty small hole. Everyone returns to the hole and sees Wally on his side in a mild sexual-suggestive position as Baloo proclaims that Wally's the liar. Oh and he's not dead as I saw eye blinking when he does the pose. It really doesn't matter if it's a BS&P decision or not because Wally is going to suffer A LOT WORSE than if he was going to die since this is Thembria after all and torture before death always rules the roost. (Yup. Although after seeing Time Bandit; it might be an act of mercy if he just died right there and now. Also; nice touch to use the ribbon on the present as a bow in the fur coat hood as part of the pose.) We fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on one last time. (What was the point of that? Oh; and the summer home did suffer some damage; but it was a heel bomb so it doesn't fall under the "babyface destroys people's property with impunity" rule.) We return and go outside the Summer Home where the High Marshall extends his hand is a gesture of good will towards Baloo. However; Colonel Spigot takes the hand before Baloo does, shakes it claiming that he did all the work and Baloo was just a co-pilot. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (Also, he remembered to put the plungers on his feet again.) The High Marshall calls Baloo a lazy Cape Suzette swine. HAHA! (Well; he's two thirds right on that mark. Still projecting though.) Cannot argue with that as he and Colonel Spigot walk towards the High Marshall's plane for High Marshall's barber appointment. (Done by the guy who would likely be running Thembria if the High Marshall was killed by the bomb with Spigot. Ponder that for a moment and dispair!)

The High Marshall comments on Spigot growing as well since Spigot is still wearing the plungers. Baloo is pretty upset; but he recoils and tells the Colonel to show off High Marshall his trademark move - Hanging A Spigot. This is NOT going to end well for Spigot or the High Marshall, I can assure ye. Baloo laughs as Spigot starts the engines and we head into the air in rapid fashion as Spigot is having problems with the Thembrian plane already. HAHA! Great CONTINUITY from Flight School Confidential I might add as the High Marshall threatens to have Spigot shot anyway despite Spigot saving his life. (That plane rumbles so much which wasn't a problem when Kit was flying the Thunderyak, so Spigot is still worse flying a plane than Kit was. Yay!) Spigot tells him not to worry as he'll do his trademark move which is "Hanging A Spigot" as the plane goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA! (Last time, I promise. Well, until other cartoons start stealing this spot of course.)) towards an icy lake with the High Marshall yelling at Spigot. In other words; instead of Wally murdering a head of state in cold blood; Colonel Spigot gets to imply committing manslaughter on the head of state. That is just peachy guys. The Thembrian plane takes a nosedive, we end the episode and the series at 21:16 before the High Marshall can be murdered legit. (Yes, this is how the series ends in order of airdate on television: Colonel Spigot teasing killing the High Marshall. You could not have wrote a better punchline for this no longer blacklisted episode, except on Disney+ of course.) Even better the third time around; although you can safetly call Martin Donoff's career as a cartoon writer to be officially over now. (I'm lowering this to **** (80%) for the animation mistakes and the over the top use of sexually suggestive booking names that nearly killed me in helpless laughter. Sometimes; comedy can kill even when it's actually funny. I'm sure Disney wasn't laughing a week later when the USSR suffered the big event that basically destroyed their country. Russia even less so.)

THE REVIEW LINE

Okay; now let me explain the whole guise of this episode, the mystique of why it rarely if ever it aired on Disney Afternoon syndication slots and also rarely if ever on Disney Channel and Toon Disney (and never on Disney+ of course). This episode was number fifty-seven on the production paper; but the episode aired on August 8th, 1991. My theory is that either Michael Eisner or Gary Krisel knew all along that this episode was going to open Disney up to some blow back from the moral guardians. (Yeah; I mean, Baloo is basically delivering a Jokey Smurf-equse bomb to a head of state. Who wouldn't be offended by that?!) So, they delayed the episode from the usual May or June airing to August in order to send it off to die , hope no one would notice (Yeah sure. Then again; "The Hunt For White November" was also a Thembrian episode, so that wasn't the best of ideas either to replace this episode.) and complete the syndication package for the television stations. The episode aired on that date I mentioned earlier. Now here where you cue the really ominous music: Eleven days later; in Russia, The August Putsch (Also known as August Coup D'etat...) played out in as a group of members from the government of the Soviet Union took absolute control of the country from Mikhail Gorbachev for two days before Mikhail was restored to power. This was seen as the turning point for the demise of the USSR and the mighty empire was disbanded for good giving Canada the nod as the largest country in the world for good. One of the guys in that coup was Boris Yeltson by the way. (DA DA DAAAAAA!) While no explosive devices were used to my knowledge -- tanks were involved however --; the whole incident, like 9/11 had an after effect as after Flying Dupes' first airing. The Disney Afternoon Syndication outlets never ran the episode again, even after 1995 when TaleSpin was moved to Disney Channel and later Toon Disney; it only aired a few times if at all. (One of those airings might have very well have been a mistake, although there's no way to edit this out since the plot was the main problem and not certain spots.) So the episode was effectively blacklisted. It was NOT outright banned as I originally thought it was since the episode ran in Non-Disney Afternoon Syndication outlets in the United States and in international cuts (Family Channel Canada and even the syndies in Canada ran the episode to the best of my knowledge up to until Family Channel Canada took TaleSpin off the air to put in more recent programming.).

It is clearly obvious why Disney wanted no part of this episode: It dealt with a possible assassination attempt of a head of state and Disney was spooked into the thought that someone might use the show to justify blowing up a head of state that was a democracy like the United States. There is also a really nasty sub-theme in that a company duped a peaceful nation indirectly into delivering a bomb to kill a head of state just to profit from the war that would have come if the High Marshall has been murdered. This is a theme that a LOT of people all over the world and even some in the USA claim that this is HOW America became so great: Putting dictators into power and profiting from their bloody wars afterward. This is also why a lot of the rest of the world hates the West because of the suffering that this ultimately causes them. In many respects; they are right even if they are going about solving it the wrong way. So, you got a terrorist theme and a capitalism fucking up whole culture plot lines and you are marketing this to children?! No wonder Disney wanted no part of it; because it indicated themselves as a guilty party by proxy. Yes; it's completely absurd considering all the more violent content and more creditable sources, (*cough*Diehard*cough*) but Disney wanted to safeguard themselves from lawsuits and so this happened. Too bad it was a waste of time since everyone outside the USA saw it for years in all of it's glory anyway. (Oops Disney.) Happiscottman from IMDB added that there was also risque dialog; but "getting crap past the radar" is NOT unusual in this series; nor even in as early as Ducktales. Also; we have also seen Baloo grab Broadcast Sally's ass which I forgot about in the Time Bandit re-rant. (I didn't; but thanks anyway.), so this is quite tame. "Implied Ineptitude of Military" wouldn't have got this episode blacklisted simply because nearly EVERY series has idiot military figures. May I remind people of the FCC Navy in Ducktales?! (Hell, that's Thembrian's entire gimmick. It didn't bat an eye in America; but it did get the show blacklisted in Russia. I wonder why?!) "Satire of Gender Neutral" characters has been done to death and the nudity thing is silly since Baloo has been naked as a jaybird before and Cubbi stripped naked in A Gummi By Any Other Name. (Plus; half the males including kids don't wear pants.) Nor the swine comments either.

It was mostly two plot threads: The blowing up a head of state and the corporate sponsored violence plots that got this episode blacklisted. Sadly; we will never know if this episode would have been reinstated or not on DVD since Disney canceled future sets of DTVA episode after low sales. (Well; this was written in 2011 and since then, Disney finally bit the bullet and released Volume 3 on DVD and all episodes on iTunes a month ago. So yes folks, the episode is officially off the blacklist and Disney has finally grown up. Thank you. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Not quite. Disney+ will not air the episode.)) Needless to say; if you think Disney is going to allow something like this again; then you must be nuts. (Oh just wait until Gargoyles and Deadly Force, and we'll have an episode blacklisted; which had no good justification for being blacklisted.) I was glad to watch the episode again, it was much better than I originally thought it would be and I have to give credit to Colonel Spigot. He really played his role of being the STRONG TALKER WITH NO MUSCLE and we saw a great payoff from Martin Donoff showing that he is one step better than some who currently write for Disney and some of the former as well. Still; a few logic breaks and some cringe worthy moments near the end of episode prevented this one from becoming a perfect score. The animation was once again solid as only Walt Disney Animation Japan can do well once they got over their cola disappearing and reappearing tricks with Dunder's soda bottle. So, we end the series with a bang for both the right and wrong reasons. (I like this episode; but you have to take in consideration the context of why this was blacklisted. I think there was some justification for a ban since the whole thing was played for comedy and that's a line you really shouldn't cross. However; the blacklist was completely ineffective because it only applied to channels Disney could control directly. Outside of that, the episode has always been shown. Of course; it doesn't help that the episode was delayed until August for no reason other than the fact that the plotline was incredibly problematic.)

So, that ends the TaleSpin series at last. What an emotional ride this was during it's 20^th birthday. Sure; there is the Don Karnage appearance on Raw Toonage left to do; but that will be a mini-rant and that should be a piece of cake and short. So let's go to the Stud Muffin Scoring System for the official results: 48 thumbs up, 9 in the middle, 8 down. (On the 2016 Edition of the Stud Muffin Scoring System: 45 Thumbs Up, 13 in the middle and 7 down.) On the normal scoring system: 48 thumbs up, 16 in the middle and 1 thumbs down. (On the normal system: 45 Thumbs Up, 19 in the middle and 1 thumbs down.) Overall; the number of ***** episodes is at 14. (Now down to 12 episodes.) Despite the fact that I finally found an actual legit clunker in the television series, there are more in the comics although that is probably due to bad coordination more than anything else; and some episodes were worse than I expected; a number of episodes were better than I saw them the first time I ranted on this series back between 2003 and 2007. (No surprises there 2011 me; I had the same thoughts in different episodes this time around. Considering that no DTVA has ever had less than one thumb down other than TaleSpin and most average around ten-twelve per series; that makes TaleSpin look really consistant in terms of quality. Finding standouts is not easy when you consider how great the writing was.) No surprises on who I think are the most over characters: Kit Cloudkicker gets the nod by a mile over everyone in DTVA. (No change there.) Don Karnage is the best heel money can buy. (Yup.) Rebecca is a great balanced female character once the writers figured out how to handle her properly. (Indeed.) Molly and WildCat are diamonds in the rough. (Indeed.) Shere Khan is the best Jungle Book character, Baloo is the least over and Louie is somewhere in between. Best guest babyface goes to Oscar Vandersnoot; best guest heel goes to Dan Dawson; although that list for both can be switched around and I could make a case for a dozen one and two shotters. Worst babyface guest goes to Barney O'Turret from Jumping The Guns. Worst guest heel goes to none over than Gomer from Citizen Khan. (I disagree with that assessment. Gomer is supposed to be a horrible police office and horrible judge. We are supposed to hate him. Today; El Gato would be the worst guest heel and that's mainly because Cathryn Perdue completely buried him for Looney Tunes bashing reasons before El Gato could do anything heelish. I hate that kind of booking by the way.)

The main weaknesses were the logic breaks and the animation which was pretty sloppy at times with missed spots being the biggest weakness. I don't expect perfection in the animation unlike some animation buffs I know, wink-wink, nudge-nudge. (I'm thinking Merlin Jones.)); but missing simple spots is still no excuse. Sun Woo and Wang Films were the weakest while Walt Disney Japan and Tama Animation were the best. (Indeed.) There were insipid moments; but they were overall tolerable compared to many animated series that I have watched over the years. (Agreed to a large extent; but I thank good story editing for the most part that helped that cause.) The sadest part about this series is that of what I said so many times before; Michael Eisner had no idea what Jymn Magon and Mark Zaslove had in mind for TaleSpin and it showed in the treatment that the series got after the series ended and by the time everyone realized that the show was a parody it was too late. I think ahead of it's time does fit here. (TESTIFY~! However, Disney never treated it anymore than a show to fill a fourth slot on the Disney Afternoon. They had the bridge to Japanese animation right there. They had the alternative to Warner Brothers right there. But Disney didn't care. They were too blinded by jealousy over the competition slowly starting to take over because the trailblazer was making truckloads of money.) The show had a backbone, guns, shooting (one shot actually hits), references to death, kids in dangerous positions, cuteness without the sugar, and mild sexual tension. (This show was also fun to watch when it wants to be and I will always amazed at how great Plunder and Lightning is when I watch it now in spite of the ancient animation.) It felt that it wasn't a Disney cartoon and yet felt more like a Walt Disney cartoon (with sloppy animation of course; but even Walt made mistakes with the American animators too if you care to look carefully). Heavy moralizing that was entertaining (I know that's an oxymoron but it works); characters that were likable and school that was closer to real school instead of some abused child's perspective. (Indeed.) I could go on; but I have enough editorials and written materials as it is without repeating myself. (Which you love to do so much, both 2011 me and present me.) Besides Don Karnage; Baloo would return for Jungle Cubs and the Jungle Book sequels and video games. I believe he also made an appearance in House of Mouse along with Shere Khan. Louie would return to Jungle Cubs; but left after the Prima Estate dispute pretty much forever and King Larry took over in House of Mouse. That is still better than the Quackstreet Boys so I wouldn't complain much. (How can I?! Copyright laws rule the roost.)

As for any hope of a revival of TaleSpin from BOOM comics: I don't really know what to think at this point. I think the whole licensing deal is just a distraction to the real reason why BOOM isn't looking at TaleSpin right now: They don't have anyone who has the attitude and writing skills to write TaleSpin in a way that recaptures the “stars are aligned” stuff TaleSpin pulled off during that period. (Well; Kaboom lost the license and it's picked up by Joe's Books. Sadly; no word on TaleSpin even getting a Cinemastory book for Plunder and Lightning at this point. It looks like TaleSpin has been denied again. Story of the product basically.) I will explain more of the importance of TaleSpin later on in the final chapter of the 20 Years of Spin because Kit ties into all this and he's pretty much gone. Like I said before; you will never see a show like TaleSpin again. Even less of a chance: a character like Kit Cloudkicker. (Yeah; ex-terrorist will never get anywhere in fiction nor real life in Disney. Although adult Kit and Molly is still possible now, but I don't trust Disney execs to do anything right at this point.). As Ink & Pixel best described it: If someone tried that with a Disney Feature program; how long will someone say: Don't call us; we'll call you and watch it go downhill from there. How ironic that TaleSpin after 20 (25) years or so of hindsight turned out to be the one show Disney needed to be seen as the real Disney instead of the hamstrung Disney we have been grown accustomed too. Sadly; Eisner didn't see it that way and the Disney Afternoon pretty much jumped the shark in Darkwing Duck where the writers wrote as if “He's just a cartoon duck; the kids will love it regardless of logic or reason” and the animation flaws were a lot more exposed due to the cartoony nature when weak studios like Sunwoo and Kennedy Cartoons took the helm. (Yup.) It makes me sad; but the damage is done and it's time to move on.

Personally; I enjoy watching TaleSpin a lot more than reviewing it because it emotionally drains me due to the amount of thought and heart put behind this series. So; my next rant from the past will be to start on the second half of Gummi Bears. That can wait until July of course as I have Fish Hooks and Kick Buttowski to finish up; plus the Easter Sadism with three of the worst Quack Pack episodes I can find and stand; plus the Father's Day Special with the Ducktales movie. (So that officially ends the third re-rant run through of this series on television. So, next up is all the comic book stories I can review on the internet; along with the Pickle & Peanut episode: 90's Adventure Bear, TaleSpin DVD Volume 3 review; and other stuff for TaleSpin. I'm glad to get all those transcripts for this series. It helped me in actually rethinking a lot of the episodes I reviewed and it gave me a new found respect in several episodes like Citizen Khan and even On A Wing & A Bear for example. I hope that I haven't swamped everyone with my thoughts with this additional commentary, and I hope I did my part to inform and entertain. This series has been a great ride and there's still more to come; but the television series is over for me and I have no desire to add anymore stuff on these reviews in five years time. I'm watching TaleSpin to be entertained from now on. It's better on my brain too.) So...

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.

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